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Shopping Together…

Dick…

There was one rule for shopping with Raven and Jason and Dick learned it the hard way when he went shopping with them one time:

Shopping Was To Be Done As Quickly, As Quietly, And As Efficiently As Possible.

There was no haggling over prices, there was no comparing, no browsing, no loitering. They both attacked shopping like it was a battle and they did it so fast that they had everything for the Manor, the Titans, and themselves in less than thirty minutes and they didn't use Raven's powers. Dick would have been impress but they had been so frustrated with the lines at check out and with dragging him around the store by his ear to keep up, had it not been so blatantly obvious that they were done. Jason was on the verge of shooting something and Raven looked ready to unleash her demonic fury.

They both blamed him for being stuck.

No, he did not see their logic in that blame, but they were both so mad that he promised never to go shopping with them ever again unless it was for Christmas. They got that in writing because apparently neither of them believed him and they taped it to the Manor refrigerator, and the Tower's refrigerator, and every fridge in every safe house Jason had.

Needless to say, Dick did not shop with them, and his ears throbbed anytime he ever thought about it. Neither one of them had patience to enjoy shopping. Of this he was certain.

Tim…

Tim was not the biggest fan of shopping, he didn't feel like he had the time and the fact he really only bought the essentials: Energy Drinks and Supplements.

However, he learned there was an art to grocery shopping the one time he'd gone with Jason and Raven and did it simply because there he had nothing better to do. Their one rule when grocery shopping:

Do Not Put Energy Drinks, Junk Food Or Sugar Cereal In Their Cart.

He'd been picking up his essentials up along the way and Raven and Jason both kept putting them back. It would have driven Tim insane if he had noticed it happening as they went. Needless to say, all the essentials that he had gathered for himself an Dick were not bought.

Alfred was pleased, and Tim was never shopping with them again. But he had to admit that it was an interesting learning experience. He had never known there was so many things to buy or use, and he hadn't known that shopping could be done so quickly. Everyone in the family; minus Alfred, dragged it out and it was a pain in the ass chore to be done.

Damian…

Damian was used to shopping with Raven and Jason, they let him go to the art store and they usually disappeared in the book store. Which was the reason for the only rule there was when it came to shopping with Raven and Jason:

Do Not Disturb Them In The Books.

He'd found them in the bookstore one time with Jon and it was now he learned this rule. It didn't matter what they were reading or what they were talking about, one did not walk up to them and tell them that it was time to go because that was usually a fast way for both of them to gang up on you. And if Raven and Jason decided to unite fronts then there was no stopping them because they both hated their reading time interrupted.

Of course he and Jon had noticed what area of said book store they'd been in when they had learnt this rule for survival. It had led to the biggest shock of Damian's young life but that was a different matter. The point was, if they were in the books they were not to be disturbed.

This memo was posted everywhere in the Manor and the Tower, and in Jason's safe houses, along with Grayson's shopping contract, and father's vow, and Alfred's list of essentials. The entire family learned to follow this rule if they wanted to get out of the stores in one piece, or at all.

Bruce…

It was not often that Bruce Wayne, billionaire, family man, playboy, and CEO went shopping. The few times he did it was to enjoy it or to select gifts for his sons, and their significant others. The one time he'd gone with his second son, Jason, and Jason's girlfriend, Raven, was a hell of a learning experience and he learnt just why his other children had contracts taped everywhere with them. It was now that he learn their golden rule upon going to the store:

Know Exactly What You're Getting, Where It Is, How Much It Is, And Know If It Needs Shipping.

Bruce learned this the one time he went shopping with the both of them for furniture for their apartment. He had come along because it was a quick way to get them a gift.

Though he was not thrilled about his son dating a demon he had learned that Raven was far better for Jason than the alien, or the Amazon. Also, she kept his wayward son from getting killed so he could not find it in him to hate what was good for Jason, just express his dislike on occasion. And it wasn't anything personal to Raven, she was a wonderful girl, but Bruce was aware of how fragile humans were and he did not want his son's broken.

Back to the point, Bruce didn't know what to get them, they knew exactly what they were after and had everything for their apartment in under thirty minutes. Bruce had found it amusing, and he had just decided his gift to them was paying for it, and the shipping, and getting it set up.

He decided that of all his children he'd shop with Jason again because his second son eliminated the fuss of shopping.

Alfred…

There was but a single rule for him when he did not wish to go shopping and it was:

Pick Up The Phone And Call Master Jason's Girlfriend And Send Her And Master Jason To Do The Shopping.

They would both snap and snarl and growl about the shopping but all of the correct supplies he'd need would be bought, with the correct brands, and brought to the Manor promptly. It wasn't like when he sent Master Bruce, Master Dick, Master Tim, or Master Damian to the shopping. Miss Raven and Master Jason attacked shopping with efficiency, they also hated the chore enough not to delay it.

Which was why he was right, at this moment, because he was a weary old man, picking up the phone, dialing Miss Raven's number, and waiting.

"Hello," she answered.

"Ah, Miss Raven, I presume you are in Gotham with Master Jason," he said.

"Yes…?" she replied.

"Excellent, would you mind running a few errands for me with Master Jason, I have two unruly children to attend to and they are in dire need of stitches," he said dryly as he looked at Master Damian and Master Tim who were both glaring at one another.

"Yeah, the usual?" Ravena sked.

"Surprise me," he said and hung up. Miss Raven had Master Jason wrapped around her pretty little finger, however, he had Miss Raven wrapped around his. No doubt the correct, needed supplies would be here this morning like he had asked.

That's all for now folks!

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