Chapter 15

Please read the author's note at the end.

Three Months Later

I finished putting on the cute little pink outfit that Rosalie had bought for Amelia. She flailed and kicked while I put it on but she was also blowing cute bubbles. I chuckled and picked her up, snuggling her close. She still had that baby smell and I couldn't get enough of it.

"Bella! Are you and Amelia almost ready to go?" Edward called from our bedroom.

"Well, are we ready my precious angel?" I asked her.

She continued blowing bubbles and smiling.

"Yeah, we're ready!" I called back.

I walked out to the living room and placed her in her car seat while Edward grabbed her bag. For the first time since Amelia was born, we're going out to meet the family for dinner as a late celebration for Edward's birthday.

Amelia cooed the drive over and Edward grinned, holding my hand the whole ride.

Things had definitely changed since Amelia was born and it had taken a lot of adjustment to becoming a mother. When she was first born Edward and I were constantly on edge from lack of sleep. Fortunately, around two months old, she would sleep for about four hours at a time and I'd never been more relieved. I couldn't wait for her to start sleeping through the night.

Edward had been picking up extra shifts at the hospital so we could have extra money when I was on maternity leave. Even with me being back at work he's been working more and it had put a strain on us for a few weeks.

"I'm glad you cut your hours back. I know we'll miss the money but it's better having you at home with us," I admitted, kissing the back of his hand.

He squeezed mine in reply and glanced at our daughter in the mirror.

"I just worry. I know my parents are willing to help financially but I'd like to do as much as I can," he explained.

I nodded knowingly and went back to looking out of the window. My mom had been a huge help the first eight weeks but I needed some space. She had agreed to stay nine weeks originally but when Phil got injured she went rushing back to Florida, not that I could blame her.

We arrived to the restaurant just a few minutes later and I grabbed the baby bag while Edward took the car seat. Everyone was already there, waiting for us.

"Give me my granddaughter," Esme demanded, reaching to pull Amelia out of the seat.

Carlisle grinned and shook his head, taking a sip of his water. He wasn't as obvious with his wanting to spend time with Amelia, but he loved her immensely. It didn't take her long to wrap almost all of us around her little finger.

"Who's my cute baby?" Esme cooed and Amelia grinned.

Her personality had started to show even more about a month ago. She started smiling a lot more often and she would cry almost anytime I left the room. As frustrating as that could be, I'm glad she loved me so much.

"Don't hog the baby, I want my turn," Rosalie pouted.

I took a seat next to the leggy blonde and hugged her close. Edward noticed and sat on the opposite of me, taking my hand again.

"We have something that we'd like to ask you, Rose and Emmett. While Esme monopolizes the baby," I added with a chuckle.

That got her full attention. She smacked Emmett to get his attention and he stuck his tongue out before turning to us.

"We would love if you two would be Amelia's godparents. Heaven forbid anything happen to us, but we'd want you to care for her," Edward said.

Tears formed in Rosalie's eyes and she jumped out of her chair, dragging me out of mine and hugging me tight.

"Of course we will! I'm so glad that you asked," she said once she wiped the tears away. Emmett stood and hugged Edward, telling him he's also more than happy to accept.

The rest of dinner was uneventful and after giving Amelia a bottle she was fast asleep. Esme pouted slightly putting her back in her car seat.

"Can I take her tomorrow?" she asked almost shyly.

I laughed and nodded.

"Of course. I have to work from nine to noon so I'll drop her off before," I agreed easily. That would give Edward some extra time to sleep before having to work himself at three.

We drove back home and I put Amelia in her crib and after grabbing the baby monitor, I made my way back out to the living room and sat next to Edward. He wrapped his arm around me, kissing my forehead. I sighed and turned towards him and he quirked an eyebrow.

"Edward, there's something I need to talk to you about," I murmured so softly I didn't know if he heard me.

He moved me so my legs wrapped around his and he rested his hand on my thigh, rubbing small circles.

"Of course. What's going on, Bella?"

I twirled my thumbs and bit my lip. I heard his short intake of breath, which always happened when I bit my lip but ignored it.

"Something's wrong with me and I don't know what. I love Amelia but...I just don't feel like I'm bonding with her. I feel like no matter what I do, it's not enough," I admitted right before the tears started to fall.

I loved my daughter but something just wasn't right. The moms I had talked to said they felt an immediate connection with their baby and that just wasn't happening for me. She cried so much and I couldn't figure out what she wanted as easily as Edward could. I was frustrated more often that I was happy and it made me feel even worse.

He put a finger under my chin and tilted my face up until I looked him in the eyes. He had so much love in them I almost started crying harder.

"Bella, this is progress. I'm glad you came to me with this. I'll call my dad and see if you can talk to him tomorrow, okay?"

I agreed and snuggled against him, grateful that he hadn't scoffed or told me that I'm being ridiculous. It was hard to open up to him more but I'd been doing so much better and our relationship continued to grow.

Tomorrow came quickly and my shift went by pretty fast. I was nervous when I went back to the Cullen house but after taking a few deep breaths I went in and straight up to Carlisle's office. Esme had told me that she'd be taking Amelia out so it was just Carlisle and me in the house.

I knocked and entered once I heard Carlisle's voice. I sat in the usual seat across from him and he smiled, offering me a glass of water that I accepted. My mouth suddenly felt dry and I took some large gulps.

"Edward told me a little bit about why you're here but I'd like to hear it from you," he began.

I sighed and delved into the whole story. How I couldn't connect with my daughter even though everyone else seemed to connect with their kids. How inadequate I felt when Edward could figure out that she was hungry when that would have been my last guess. How I felt like a terrible mother even though I had been putting on a façade for the family.

He nodded at the right times and asked some questions when I'd pause for a breath. At the end of my explanation I was crying again and Carlisle handed me a box of tissues, looking thoughtful.

"Bella, I'm glad you talked to Edward and in turn, with me. It sounds like you might have post-partum depression which is actually quite normal, especially with being a young mother. But it can turn into a disaster if not taken care of. I'll refer you to one of my psychiatrist friends and we'll go from there, okay? But you'll have to go to the appointments," he said slowly.

My tears of sadness turned to tears of relief. I had a possible explanation and it could be my hormones, not just me.

"Thank you so much, Carlisle."

I could finally get my life back on track and start caring for and loving my daughter like I wanted to.

A/N This is the final chapter aside from the epilogue. Thank you so much for your continued support.