(Hey peeps! It's been a while. This story has been finished and it'll be fairly fast posting as I've just got the last chapter by chapter edits to do. There will be twenty including the epilogue. I'd also like to say I re-uploaded the previous chapters with some edits. Mostly just added details and tiny tweaks. I'd rec rereading, but it's not a must.)
Gilbert trembled in the nest of blankets he made his bed into. Sweat gave his pale skin a sheen as he ran a hand along his torso. This time he remembered to lock both the door to the hall and the one to Antonio's room. Whoever designed a house with adjoining bedrooms had really bad taste, but at least it was Toni and not Francis next to him. If that perv heard Gilbert doing this, he'd plaster himself to the door, panting like a dog. Gilbert bit back a moan as his hand strayed lower. Behind his closed eyelids, scenes played out as he imagined someone's mouth where his hand now stroked.
Another moan tried to escape his tightly pursed lips. In his mind, green eyes danced at him, teasing in the same way his tongue did. The imagined Antonio possessed serious skills with his mouth. Somehow Gilbert doubted Francis would go down on him like this. The man probably thought himself above such things, but his long delicate fingers would do amazing things. Gilbert brushed fingers across his nipples, imagining Francis' groomed nails instead of his chewed up ones. Harder, more. He pinched and the feeling shot up his spine. Twisting, he pushed his face into a pillow as his breathing and his hand's pace increased. A minute later, he tensed and came into a tissue. This he tossed aside before lying there with his mind blank except for one thought.
I just masturbated while imagining my friends. And the worst part? It wasn't the first time. The idea never occurred to him before their drunken night weeks ago but this happened twice before already. And now he even imagined them at the same time. That was just a little desperate. He felt desperate though, and a bit lost.
Gilbert stared at the far wall of his bedroom with a line of subpar quality stuffed chicks scattered around him—each the product of his competitive spirit and a festival booth. He shivered as the A/C turned on, but he still felt so hot. Shit, I'm sweating and going crazy and I can't stop thinking about them. What's wrong with me? No one captured his attention like this, not so bad he couldn't ignore the urge. Why did he have to want Francis and Antonio? God, he'd take them any way he could get even if he had to roll over and play bitch to get it. Not exactly his preference, but damn if it didn't sound hot.
He thought maybe it'd just been a while since he had a guy. He always did prefer them to women and when he did pick up a guy, they were cute and submissive. The amount of people he let dominate him could fit on one hand and now…shit. He wanted it so bad. If he didn't get any sleep soon, he would have to go to one of them because being alone only made it worse. Gilbert wrapped himself in a blanket before letting out a miserable sniffle. He shouldn't be awake at four in the morning with a pit of anxiety making it impossible to sleep. These things happened to him often enough though. For most of his life there would occur a period of time where everything grew too much inside him and insomnia took hold. Even between those times he slept less than he should have.
Five minutes of laying and shivering passed before Gilbert couldn't stand his restlessness anymore. Nor could he stand his nakedness. It always felt strange to sit around without clothes for longer than necessary so he slipped on his duckie jammies before wrapping up in the blanket again. He shuffled to his lamp and flicked on the light. The circle illuminated his tidy desk and the piles of ordered clutter on the floor around it. His jacket hung on the bedpost and despite the patches of clutter, his room looked bare. Most he had came from school or what accumulated over his one year in America like the little flag with LA printed across it and a cheap plastic figurine. His important things came from home. A German flag hung over his bed along with Rammstein posters and photos from the Oktoberfest he spent with family. Each of his stuffed animals remained precious as well as the row of hand carved figures that lined the top of his dresser—the only other piece of furniture besides the mini desk and bed.
Gilbert dropped down beside his desk and opened the birdcage door from where it sat on last year's textbooks. "Hey little guy, wanna come out and keep me company?" he whispered as he nudged the little yellow fluff ball with his finger. The canary ruffled his feathers and chirped before eyeing Gilbert's crooked finger. A second later, he hopped onto it and a smile broke out on Gilbert's face. He pulled the bird out and chuckled at his little friend. "You're so great, Gilbird. How about you become my new best friend?" Gilbird chirped back, seeming to smile. Gilbert pulled him close to his heart and breathed out a sigh.
"Yeah, me too." The words choked in his throat. He swallowed hard and squeezed his eyes shut. Gilbird jumped onto his shoulder, nuzzling and creating a new warmth that Gilbert felt all over his body. Minutes later, he fell asleep there on the floor, but he woke just as exhausted and anxious as before his sleep.
xXx
The next night when Gilbert once again couldn't sleep, he wandered into the living room and turned his favorite Call of Duty game on, the sound off. Never blinking, he didn't notice anything but the enemies and the glow of the tv. Not everyone would be proud to say, but he rocked at games like this. Why not name it as one of his greatest assets? It wasn't like he was much good at anything else. Why else couldn't he figure out what to do with his life? So he just buried himself under two blankets because damn if not sleeping didn't wreck your body temperature.
Being so absorbed in the game, Gilbert didn't hear a door open and creak closed again. His soldier crept behind a barricade, ready to spring an ambush. "Gilbert?" a bleary voice called. He jumped, cursing under his breath, and just managed to pause his game before he got blown up.
"Who-?" He turned to see Antonio rubbing a hand over his face, still muddled with half-wakefulness. His hair stuck up at the oddest angles and Gilbert cursed himself when his eyes strayed to the other man's torso. Only a golden cross covered his chest. In the off-colored glow of the game, his skin looked more yellowish than tan, but still tasteful. Just like before, Gilbert found himself appreciating the well-toned chest that looked built by honest work rather than nature or weights in a gym. Antonio may have had a slender waist by most people's standards and lacked the build of stronger men, but he wore what he had so well. Even half awake he looked so confident in his body and Gilbert couldn't blame him. He pulled a pillow into his lap and tilted his eyes away, watching his ghostly fingers pull the pillow's tassels instead. "I'm sorry. Did I wake you?"
"Yes," Antonio answered, not mincing his words. He perched on the arm rest and his eyes raked over Gilbert, noting the heavy eye circles made more obvious by this light. He noticed them long before though. As always, despite being a heavy sleeper, he noticed all the details that went on in his friends' lives. How could he not notice Gilbert playing games at these hours and spending eleven extra minutes in the bathroom to put concealer under his eyes? Gilbert spent surprisingly punctual amounts of time in his routines.
Gilbert kept his eyes averted. Antonio pursed his lips and moved closer. He sat on the cushion next to his friend, grimacing when the springs creaked and the cushion dipped in a lumpy, disconcerting way. If Gilbert weren't already so pale, Antonio felt sure he'd look white-knuckled with how tight he gripped the pillow. Did albinos even go white? He never pondered that before and it'd be interesting to see if Gilbert could get more pale. Or not, because he'd surely be ill if he took on the pallor of paper. Antonio shouldn't be thinking about that at all. He placed a hand over Gilbert's and heard the very audible sucking in of breath in response.
"I noticed four days ago. When did you start not sleeping?" Antonio whispered. Gilbert didn't pull his hand away so he kept hold of it. He looked so tense sitting there, but wasn't it good he didn't try to run away?
Gilbert cleared his throat and managed to croak out an answer. "Dunno. Some time last week." He couldn't pull in enough air to speak properly and his throat felt like paper. He should push Antonio away and act pissed like usual but his mind turned scrambled long before now. He wanted to sleep, he wanted warmth, he wanted to get away, wanted not to need to.
Antonio's brow furrowed. He noticed Gilbert's eyes flick to him every now and then as a flush rose on his cheeks, up to his ears and down his neck. It took Antonio a second to understand after he looked and saw his bare chest. Antonio tended to sleep without a shirt at the least. Did this bother Gilbert? Antonio didn't mean anything by it and the thought that his natural state could upset someone pulled a pout onto his face. He ruffled Gilbert's hair as though petting a cat. "Is it our fault?" A pleased note shivered through him when he felt just how soft Gilbert's hair was. An entire year of being best friends and he never played with his hair? Antonio really missed out. His pleasure increased when Gilbert turned into the caress.
A second later, Gilbert's eyes went wide and he shoved Antonio. The brunette found himself on his back with Gilbert over him, hands still pressing down his chest. Before he could open his mouth and complain, Gilbert snapped at him, red eyes flashing. "Of course it's your fault. Why can't you fuckin' put on a shirt?! Do you have idea what I'm thinking when I see…see…" He realized his hands were touching exactly what he referred to and he snatched them back. Oh god, what was he doing jumping someone out of desperation? Gilbert dropped back on his haunches to buried his face in his hands. "Please go away b-before I…" The rest of the words choked in his throat and he moaned.
Antonio watched him, trying to think, which was never his strong point. He realized the flush on Gilbert's face had nothing to do with discomfort. Or at least the discomfort he expected. "Hey…Gilbert," he pleaded, one hand coming up to rest on his friend's hip. "Just say what you want to already." He couldn't stand this dancing around any longer.
Gilbert growled with his hands still hiding his face. A second later, he pulled them away and dived at Antonio. Fuck, fuck, fuck. His mind repeated the curse over and over but his body already separated from his head. He crashed his lips into the other man's and tried to drink up all the sunshine Antonio wore like a perfume. Antonio's hand buried in his hair as their tongues tangled until Gilbert went dizzy from lack of air. He pulled back to stare Antonio down. "I want you!" He didn't mention the other dreams about a certain blonde because that sounded too greedy. He could be happy with Antonio. Maybe he just needed to get the fuck out of his head that it would be just that, out of his head. A voice whispered in the back of Gilbert's mind: Yeah right.
"I want you too, Gil." Antonio grinned, like warmth, like summer. It did something funny to Gilbert's insides and the last bits of reason fled. He couldn't even make himself think that he shouldn't be doing this. Antonio's hands ran along his sides, slipping inside his shirt to make circles along his back. His tongue licked Gilbert's lips, asking for entrance again. He almost gave it before the hand slipped lower. Gilbert pulled back, ignoring Antonio's poutiest pout.
"Just to clear things up, I'm top. Got that? Whatever the hell I said when I'm drunk, that's not me." Or the me I want to be. Gilbert may have been giving in, but he wasn't giving in that much. "I-I'm not doing this otherwise." Probably, maybe. He squeezed his eyes shut. Tiny chance because his body already reacted to Antonio's touch. Just this little left him rearing to go, too rearing to leave and get himself off. Antonio just laughed though, making Gilbert crack his eyes open. The sight of Antonio laughing in his teasing, carefree way just turned Gilbert on more.
"It's fine, totally fine. I don't care about that!" A few chuckles still escaped him as he pulled Gilbert's head down to where he bared his neck. Gilbert nipped and lapped the sensitive skin there, eliciting a keen. "You and Francis are too picky." He wrapped his legs around Gilbert's waist to pull them fully together. After yanking off his shirt, Antonio paused to appreciate the other man's angular frame, lean muscle, and not an ounce of fat. He grabbed Gilbert's hair and pulled him close, purring low against his ear. "But one day, I am going to fuck you."
Gilbert shuddered. Antonio felt it where their bodies touched and even this much wasn't enough skin. He felt Gilbert's erection and rocked his hips. They both groaned at the same time. Antonio threw back his head and let Gilbert slip the loose pajama bottoms down. "Hurry!" he whined. Gilbert chuckled and readied the other man before thrusting inside. He groaned and bit down on Antonio's shoulder to hide his cries. Antonio didn't even try to quiet himself though and worry buzzed through Gilbert's lust. What if Francis woke up and found them? Gilbert blinked. So what? Let him see. He'd like that and he made Gilbert watch them make out like fools in club bathrooms stained with god knew what. Gilbert laughed in the back of his throat, cursing his blonde friend. He set a desperate pace as if he could fuck common sense right out of his mind. It seemed to work pretty good too.
Antonio writhed under him, never without a word or touch of encouragement. "There!" Ankles locking behind his back as Antonio rocked back with as much fervor. "Faster already, almost there. You're so good, Gil. Do you feel good?"
Gilbert only moaned in answer, burying his face in the crook of Antonio's shoulder. He held back too long to hold back now. He wouldn't last long. A particularly lustful noise made Gilbert pull back to look at his partner. What he saw made him nearly burst. Antonio lay his with eyes squeezed shut in passion as he jerked himself off. "O-hh god…Toni!" He hummed and suddenly it was all too much. He stuttered his hips a few last times before he came. Antonio came after, watching the uncensured pleasure on his friend's face. Gilbert collapsed on top and the two lay in silence as they tried to catch their breaths.
Antonio shifted so they lay more comfortably then rubbed Gilbert's back. "Do you feel better now?" he asked. He received no answer and brushed a mop of white hair from the other's eyes. The white eyelashes sat on his cheeks and his lips lay parted with laxness. A smile broke out on Antonio's. "I guess so." He could just reach the blanket with his fingertips and he managed to tumble it down on top of them in a haphazard mess that left their legs sticking out and skin showing here and there. He didn't want to disturb Gilbert though, not when he finally fell asleep. Besides, Antonio had no issues with sleeping in less favorable places or squished up against another. He fell asleep after another minute, one arm wrapped tight around Gilbert.
xXx
Francis woke one hour before his Tuesday morning class just like he always did. He checked his phone first and saw he had no new messages. Satisfied, he slipped on his slippers and headed for the bathroom. A strange light from the other direction caught his eye and he turned to the living room. Francis sputtered, his eyes wide as his phone clattered to the floor. "Antonio! And Gilbert…! What have you done?!" he yelped. His eyes stayed riveted to the couch, not even blinking.
Antonio roused with a languid stretch then jerked his head back to Francis. "Shush!" he chided, one finger to his lips. Francis just gaped because the big deal here was his noise level? Antonio pointed a finger at Gilbert though and shook his head. He brushed the other's hair away again to check if he still slept. Gilbert hardly moved over the course of the night, though fewer hours passed between then and now than ideal. He needed a little more sleep and Antonio wouldn't mind more himself despite it already being past his usual wake with the dawn time.
He shifted a bit at a time until he'd extracted himself from beneath the younger male. Antonio pulled the blanket over Gilbert properly and he mumbled, shifting a bit before gripping the blanket and rolling onto his side, face pressed into the couch's back. Francis watched all of this with an impatient expression. The second Antonio finished patting Gilbert's head, he grabbed his arm and started dragging. Antonio stumbled, then received a face-full of bathrobe a second later. He still fumbled with the tie when Francis dragged him out the back door then whirled around.
"You slept with him!"
"Uh…yeah…" Antonio mumbled. He ducked his head and ran a hand through his messy curls. "I don't know why you're yelling." Francis' shriek left him wincing and poking a finger in his ear. Antonio would call this reaction jealousy in anyone else, but Francis wasn't capable of the feeling. At least not with anyone besides Arthur and he didn't even have the right to jealousy with that man. In the past ten years of loving Arthur, he never once gave Francis a second glance. Rather, it could be said the man hated him. There had been a time long ago that Arthur looked up to him, but Francis seemed to be the only one who remembered it, still longed for it.
"Gilbert made his boundaries very clear. I know you're a devilish little pervert beneath that innocent face, but that's no excuse to take advantage of your friends!" Francis huffed.
Seriously? Antonio found himself getting irritated despite the fact anger didn't come to him easily, especially not when defending himself. But this wasn't just him. Francis also belittled Gilbert by suggesting Antonio could ever take advantage of him. Gilbert didn't do anything he didn't want. Antonio clenched a hand in Francis' bathrobe and met his eye with challenge. "Why does it have to be my fault? He's the one that jumped me!" Antonio pouted and scratched his butt. Having spontaneous sex sure was fun at the time, but it bit the morning after. Francis' mouth twisted at this little display and he slapped Antonio's hand away.
"Quit doing that in public!" he complained. "Do you see where we are? Don't go showing your ass to our neighbors!"
Antonio rolled his eyes at that, but a laugh bubbled up in him. He rearranged the bathrobe into something more appropriate for Francis' benefit. "You're the only one who cares about my ass here. Stop pretending you don't like it." He teased like usual, but his mood stayed too serious for the teasing to last long. Francis sighed and returned back to the important matter as well.
"So, you let Gilbert have his way with you? He started it…?" Francis sounded like he couldn't quite believe it. Despite his ways and reputation, he could be purer in his intentions than most. Antonio kept to his own business, but he knew the kind Francis was the real one, not the player. "But why? He asked us and even if…maybe he was weak in a moment. You know he didn't want to cross that line."
Antonio sighed again and placed his hands on the other man's shoulders. For once, his face wore a solemn expression. "Francis, sometimes you're too good of a person. I did the right thing." Antonio didn't have that same kind of pureness inside of him. If he wanted something, he made sure he got it. Even so, the thing he wanted most was their friendship to never break. If his interest in Gilbert coincided with that, then that was just dandy. It didn't even occur to him he made a wrong choice. Antonio only ever did one thing he regretted and this wasn't it. "You also thought that denying what he wanted was unhealthy. He made the choice himself. This is a wonderful thing right?" And there went his brilliant smile again, spilling sunshine all over the sprouting vegetables.
"Damn it," Francis cursed into the palm of his hand. "You know I can't say no to that smile." He shook his head but a grin started to form. "Of course I'm happy he let loose so don't rub in it you ingrate. I just wish he picked me first!"
"You snooze you lose! Be more observant like me next time!" Antonio laughed. Francis made a face before stalking back to the door, pretending to be far more upset than he was. They both knew it; he would get his time still yet.
"Crap, I need to hurry. You-" He turned at the last second to jab one finger at Antonio. "Make sure Gilbert goes to class. You make him pass out, it's your responsibility."
Antonio pouted at that. "That's not our job. He's an adult!"
"Of course it is!" Francis chided from just inside the doorway. His blue eyes sparkled with a mix of kindness and teasing. "As his elders, it's up to us to look after him. I'd make a good big brother right? You know, if I had siblings. All I've got is you guys so just indulge my whims, okay. And for god's sake, put on some pants!" He whirled away with all the pomp of a fashion model.
Antonio hummed in agreement as the door closed behind Francis. He really would make a great big brother.