"Gilbert, you're too quiet. It's scaring us," Francis started after Antonio's tenth poke to his back, each one harder than the last. He'd get bruises if he didn't give the man what he wanted. Neither explained to Antonio what happened when he left the room and he wanted the story. He'd settle for fixing this odd behavior of Gilbert's though. Since then, Gilbert pulled away and even Francis didn't expect this. Antonio insisted Francis get through to him as if this forced them to make up after whatever type of fight they had, or at least that's what Francis figured his unspoken words meant. And really, he did try to catch Gilbert before he disappeared into his room. "I know my parents traumatized you and all, but we're home now and you're never this quiet." Francis sighed.
Gilbert glanced back at him and went into his room anyway. "It's nothing. You know I'm not angry at you or anything. I'm sorry I said that stuff about you and Alissa, so you don't have to keep hovering. That's what you want to hear right?" he asked without any energy. The rest of the weekend scarred all of them except for Antonio who still grinned as much as usual. It irritated Gilbert. They got home late yesterday, having decided that staying through Sunday might kill them. Francis made some excuse about homework and here they were, Sunday morning with none of them even thinking about homework. Gilbert just felt weary. He grabbed his phone and walked out of his room again.
Francis and Antonio traded looks. Since when did Gilbert say things like that? Francis didn't feel angry anymore, just bothered over at least five different things. It took him until the night after their fight to realize he said loved him, not her. What the hell was that?
Gilbert swept past them, not noticing or just not caring about the eyes boring into him. "That's fine and all, Gil, but can we talk?" Francis asked as he grabbed the man's arm. Gilbert finally turned back to meet his eyes. A second later, he dropped his gaze and pulled his arm free.
"Sorry, I've got lunch plans with someone." Gilbert checked the time on his phone. If he left now, he'd arrive fifteen minutes early, but he needed to get out of here before one of his friends made him start spilling secrets. No matter what, he couldn't let them ruin this plan. Just this one stupid plan he hatched in the insufferable silence of the car ride back. Francis' pleading eyes and Antonio's warm smile would break his resolve. Not today though. Gilbert squared his shoulders and stalked to the door. "Goodbye."
"Gil!" Francis called after him, but the door slammed in his face. He turned to see Antonio glaring at him with arms crossed. "What? You're not going to say this is my fault are you?" he asked, but his irritation sounded weak. Antonio didn't say anything and instead sat on the couch. Francis plopped down next to him, immediately falling over to rest against his friend's chest. "I think I screwed up."
"Sounds like a smart conclusion. Hey, hey…don't use me to cry on. I have to leave for work in thirty minutes," Antonio pouted as he tugged a strand of blonde hair. In this light, it looked almost golden, but he preferred the duller, wheat color he more often saw. It looked natural and less perfect in the wonderful way Francis had. Antonio smoothed out the waves as he dropped his head back to stare at the ceiling. "I told Gilbert not to bring her up. I don't want you two to fight."
For a minute, Francis lay there in silence. He didn't usually cuddle up against someone for comfort like this. He preferred to be the comforter so he thanked Antonio for just sitting here like this, not doing a thing. "There comes a point where it's better to fight though. You can't just force peace where it isn't," he muttered. Gilbert did the right thing speaking up. It left Francis in knots, but he found himself questioning things now. "He said my relationship with her is unhealthy, even abusive. I don't get that, but part way through…I forgot we were talking about her." He didn't need to explain who he confused Alissa for. "Gilbert had this weird expression and…I don't know. I just got angry and called him jealous."
Antonio choked, dislodging Francis before he got his surprise under control. "I see. Well, that wasn't very nice of you," he pointed out as if both of them didn't know that already. Francis glared out of the corner of his eye. "This is all getting a little too complicated for me. Can I have a rain check on this conversation?" He started to get up, but Francis' arms captured him and pulled him back onto the couch. "Oh, well…I guess not. You should be telling Gil this, not me, though."
Francis sighed. "He keeps running away. Besides, I need to figure this all out first. I still don't know how I feel about what he said." He never should have resisted his nature and just gone to his friends the second things started going sour. Just talking like this already helped. "And I really don't think my family helped. I don't know why you like them so much."
"Really? They're entertaining, but they're real nice too. Your mom liked Gilbert a lot. Always watching over you like that, I'm totally jealous. Besides, they've always been kind to me even when no one else was," Antonio sighed. They hadn't so much as hesitated to welcome him into their home whenever he tagged along. The structure and the rules there felt so different and relaxing.
Francis chuckled. "I know, but I prefer your home." He glanced over at Antonio in case he stepped on any toes. The younger man wagged a hand, signaling him to continue. "There's just so much! People and noise and animals. There's always some kid running around without their pants on or a cat stealing creme brûlée, or…" Antonio's laughter drowned out the rest of his list as he started slapping Francis' leg in excitement.
"Wait, I remember that! You were baking all day and you turned away for one second. Next thing we know, Oscar's on the counter lapping up dessert!" Antonio exclaimed. He remembered laughing so hard at that. "The cats ate better that day than we did! They really went to town on it and we had to eat store bought ice cream. God, when was that? We were still in high school and you spent a couple weeks at the farm. You needed to get away because…" He trailed off as his face turned serious. "Because you figured out you could never get Arthur to stop hating you or stop yourself from loving him. You skipped out on the birthday party your parents planned and just showed up at my place out of the blue. That was a really nice time…" When did it get so complicated between them? Maybe the day Gilbert stepped into their lives but Francis might be right. They did need to break a few eggshells to change and grow.
Francis shook his head, still chuckling with amusement. "Yeah, it was really nice. I could be free there when I so desperately needed to be." His laughter died off and left him staring at Antonio with a matching serious expression. "Is Gilbert right? Am I hurting myself holding onto Alissa? Do I really not like her and just Arthur…because I really thought I moved on this time." Antonio tried to protest sharing his opinion like he always did, but Francis snapped back at him. "I'm serious. You need to tell me."
"You won't get mad?" Francis stared at him unblinking. "Ah, I like Alissa. She's smart and independent," Antonio said much to Francis' surprise, hope, and fear. Antonio wasn't done though. "I like her, but I don't like her with you. Gilbert is right."
xXx
Gilbert hopped from foot to foot in the outdoor area of the coffee shop. Though he shoved his hands in his pockets, it didn't keep them still. He felt a shiver run along his body despite the warm sunshine. Five minutes after the arranged meeting time, he decided to leave. He shouldn't be doing this, no he definitely should, or he shouldn't, or…
"Why did you call me out here?" a female voice called out. Too late. Gilbert turned to see Alissa stalking toward him. He forced a smile onto his face and waved. "Should we get a seat?" she asked, not sure what sort of conversation he planned. Gilbert shook his head sharp to the left and right. He kept his hands in his pockets and shuffled to a less occupied corner of the cafe. She followed after one second of hesitation.
"I'm only here to tell you one thing." Gilbert dragged in a deep breath and just said what he needed to even if he got hurt by it in the end. "Francis doesn't love you. He never did so just ditch him already."
Five seconds of tense silence passed. "Excuse me?" Alissa snapped. Her shoulders shook, but she stayed still. Gilbert lifted one corner of his mouth in a sneer and avoided her eye. "Exactly how should you know what he feels. Is this some kind of pathetic attempt to get rid of the competition? I figured out a long time ago that you three are sexually involved. I'm not an idiot." She rolled her eyes as she pulled to her full height. Despite being shorter, she managed to look down on Gilbert and squash him into the pavement. "Did you go and fall in love with him even though you're just leftover trash? News flash, I'm the one he's in love with!"
Gilbert bristled. His fists clenched and he took a step toward her with his red eyes flashing. For her credit, Alissa did no more than lower her eyes. Gilbert pointed a finger at her chest because no matter how angry he got, he wouldn't hit a girl. Not even her. "You're the one who doesn't know shit, dumb bitch!" he snapped. Alissa stammered, but he continued on, not the least bit done. "Blonde hair and green eyes, you're just a replacement for the man he's loved longer than he's known you or me. Every time he says he loves you, he's saying it to him. Because Francis is just as infatuated with Arthur as ten years ago and he said as much himself. So really, you were never in his life at all!" Gilbert nearly snarled the last of his speech. Anger reddened his face and made his words tumble out louder and each more vicious than the last. He couldn't stop himself once he let those emotions loose.
Alissa's mouth hung open as she seethed, turning as red as her lipstick. Her wide green eyes shone with shock, but disbelief and anger quickly hid the hurt. "Have you no shame?!" she stuttered in a shrill screech. Her hand flashed and before Gilbert could react, she slapped him full across the face. He just turned his head with it, his expression blank. "Do your lies know no end!?" She wouldn't believe this crap, absolutely refused to believe a delinquent friend with a party-goer reputation like him. Gilbert pulled something out of his pocket and flicked it at her.
"Arthur Kirkland," he said as she caught the photo. From it stared a young man who could have been her brother if not for the dense eyebrows and severe expression, matched with a stiff collared shirt and plaid sweater vest, all dull in color except for his wide, brilliant green eyes. "Francis keeps the photo behind his credit cards." Gilbert would get hit for sure if Francis knew he took it. What the hell am I thinking. That's what he's going to hit me for?
He sighed as he felt his anger start to lessen. Gilbert did this for Francis and he knew he trod on hearts, but he couldn't stand this anymore. He needed Alissa to know what she did to him. As much as he wanted to hate her like some kind of villain with intent, he knew her type—a black widow who wrapped men up in spells without noticing it for a second. He'd make sure she knew this time so it never happened again.
"This isn't about your love or mine. I just care about him and I see he's hurting. The only way he'll ever let go is if you break up with him. You don't even know what kind of spell you've got him under, what you can do to a man's heart, twisting it all up in knots over nothing. I don't care if you think I'm selfish or want him for myself," Gilbert explained. He had no intention of pursuing a relationship with the other man despite how close they grew. "He can be happy with someone else though." Maybe Antonio even. Just not him, never him.
"I don't care if you're right or not," Alissa whispered, her tone quiet as the shock numbed her. She roused herself to put a little bite back into her voice, but her face stayed lax. "Do you think you have to the right to decide what makes him happy? Did you even ask him if that's what he wanted?" She pulled off the charm bracelet she wore and slapped it into his hand. "But I can see I'm not welcome in your lives anymore. You can give him back his love and I hope he chokes on it! If it were me though, I'd try to hang on if I cared like that, not pair him off with someone else because it's a 'better idea'. But I guess I just don't love Francis enough," came her snide reply. "Well, it was fun." Alissa whirled on her heel and stalked away without a wave or goodbye.
Gilbert stared down at the bracelet with hearts and roses stuck along the silver band. If I didn't love myself so much, I'd definitely hate me now.
xXx
Gilbert stomped through their home and found Francis in the kitchen, searching through drawers. Without looking up, he called to Gilbert. "I can't find that rubber spatula. You know, the green one I like. You're the one who always puts the dishes away in the wrong place." Gilbert didn't respond, though he found Francis' observation completely false. He only screwed the dishes up, like, ten times. That didn't even phase him though. Gilbert walked into the kitchen, his steps slow and even like a robot. "Gilbert?" Francis finally turned at the lack of a response. "Hey if you're upset about earlier then I won't make you ta-"
"Here," Gilbert said. He dropped the bracelet into Francis' hand. "Since you couldn't break up with your girl, I did it for you." Francis stared at him and Gilbert stood there, preparing himself for the onslaught. The silence suffocated him, but he just built a wall around himself like he was so used to doing. Finally, Francis looked down at the bracelet.
"You did…what?" Francis thought he heard wrong. He really, really did. "What the hell did you do, Gilbert?! What did you say to Alissa? I can't…even…what? Why?!" Gilbert didn't move from his spot a foot away and Francis stared at him, wide-eyed and lost. He was starting to believe and accept Gilbert's opinion, but then out of the blue, without saying anything? How…how could Gilbert do something so rash? It came too quick for Francis to accept that his dream just crashed to pieces. Choking on emotion, his voice cracked. "She broke up with me?"
Gilbert turned away. He could take the anger, but not the broken sound in Francis' voice. "I didn't have a choice. She needed to know the truth about you…and Arthur. You're free now. You don't have to love her anymore." Francis didn't have to love anyone. He could pick now. But Francis just looked at him with his mouth hanging open as hurt twisted his face. He threw the bracelet to the floor.
"And you just decided this on your own? I thought you had a heart, but here you are, meddling in who I can love or not! God!" Francis staggered back, shoving both hands through his hair. "I was listening to you, but then this?! I'm the only one who should be allowed to end things! I'm the only one who can say who I'm in love with!" It wasn't even about Alissa anymore. Gilbert had to go and bring Arthur into this. He didn't understand what Francis felt at all or the state of confusion his mind already tumbled in before this. Francis felt muddled…and betrayed. The hurt made him want to lash out. Gilbert thought he couldn't change. He did this all because of Arthur. And Francis had no idea why that burned him so much, as if Arthur would always hang over his head. As if this had nothing to do with Gilbert. But Francis doubted that.
The emotionless front Gilbert put up came tumbling down when Francis focused on him. He slapped away Francis' hand when he reached out. "Oh, so you know what love is now? Listening to me?" He laughed, the sound coming out harsh and cruel. "Give me a break. You can honestly say you were going to break up with that chick? You don't know shit about what you're saying!" Gilbert snarled. Francis' sagging shoulders jumped up as he stiffened. Blue eyes now glared at Gilbert.
"Since when were you an expert on love?!" Francis snapped back. "The last time I checked, that was my specialty! You've never been in love like I have, never as long as me!" All the time Francis spent today thinking about putting Alissa and Arthur behind him evaporated. If Gilbert wanted to push him, then it was about time he learned that Francis could push back.
Gilbert threw back his head and laughed. He gained the bad habit long ago. When in danger, bite harder, throw up a higher wall. It didn't matter if the danger came from outside or his own emotions. "You think I haven't been in love before? If I've learned one thing, it's that love isn't something that hurts you and it isn't something you have to lie about yourself for. Haven't you noticed that the only people you don't lie to are us?" Gilbert let out a frustrated sigh. Whatever script he came into the conversation with already ran out. Words just started flowing before his brain could analyze them.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Francis asked, taken aback. He heard all that Gilbert said, but the last bit snagged him. He stood there with his brow furrowed, still angry, but with something sparking in his mind. "What the hell, you really are jealous!"
Before Gilbert could even consider his answer, he started saying it. "Yes, you stupid idiot! I'm fucking jealous and I'm bothered by your dumb ass definition of love. Figure out already that there are people here who will actually love you for who you are!" His breath came out in ragged gasps. These he heard in the echo of silence his words brought. Why did it get so silent?
"Love?" Francis echoed. All of the anger in the room froze. He watched Gilbert's face shift from passion to a breathless shock, one of his fists still held mid-wave. Realization dawned on Francis, but for some reason, he couldn't act. His heart just stuttered against his ribs. Gilbert staggered back with his eyes wide. He opened his mouth multiple times, but even his normal squeak didn't come out. Like he couldn't breathe, his face twisted and then Gilbert tore out of the room. The front door slammed behind and Francis stayed rooted to the kitchen floor.
Gilbert kept running until he couldn't run anymore. At some corner he didn't recognize, he collapsed against a shop wall. The thundering of his heart joined the breath he never quite caught since his shock. A sudden lurch in his stomach had him clasping a hand over his mouth, both the exertion and his realization sickening him. I just about confessed my love before I even knew I'd fallen. Unable to stop the dizziness, Gilbert slid to the stained concrete. The air of this city made it hard to breath. How could a city have air this disgusting and no one care about it? How come he didn't complain about it sooner and just leave? That way he wouldn't be choking back tears on some street corner, god knew how far from home.
I said I would get away from them before they compromised my heart, but I didn't realize they already had. How could I let this happen? Gilbert pulled his knees tight to his chest and let himself admit it, finally. "I'm in love. I'm in love with that idiot." A strange giddiness came over him. For the first time in two years, he was in love and it felt wonderful, like he just evaded a deep worry he never let himself admit. He still knew how to love. A second later, his happiness crashed back down again. This would never work. His friends weren't the serious relationship type and Antonio would never let them leave him out. The three of them? All in love with each other? Nothing sounded more disastrous than that. The one who would get his heart handed to him on a platter, minced and sautéed in garlic, would be Gilbert. He already decided that he would step back and let Francis and Antonio fall in love. With his heart like this, all the more reason to.
When Gilbert got himself under control again, he hopped a bus to the beach and walked around until happy couples irked him enough to wander the shops without seeing anything. His stomach growled, but he barely registered that he ate nothing but a taco from some vender today. Despite his body's objection, he didn't feel hungry. Only when the sun kissed the waves did it make him feel sick. He turned around and started walking back. Before he knew it, Gilbert found himself on their doorstep. He couldn't bring himself to go inside though. What if he came face to face with Francis again? He couldn't talk about this yet, or maybe ever, but he couldn't stay out all night either.
Actually, he could. LA never got cold and had plenty of hideouts for the homeless, but immediately after thinking that, Gilbert rejected it. He wasn't low enough to fight some bum for his cardboard box. He could call a friend and ask to stay over, even if he already walked all the way here, but he knew just how few numbers he owned. Because right, he had no friends. He managed to make a few acquaintances from school and football, but no one he could just ring up and demand to stay with. He felt awkward about doing things like that. So where else could he go? It was true, he had nowhere else, but he still couldn't bring himself to walk inside. Gilbert sat on the porch with his chin resting on his knees as he tried to figure out what to do.
Not much time passed before a familiar figure walked down the sidewalk. Gilbert watched with a blank expression as Antonio approached and then stopped in front of him. For a minute, Antonio just observed. Then he sighed and summarized everything in one question. "You told her didn't you?" Gilbert didn't have to answer. He blinked once then looked up at his friend with utterly hopeless eyes.
Antonio's heart squeezed, killing his planned lecture. Gilbert didn't move so he crouched on the sidewalk and tilted his head. Guessing that he would elaborate with time, Antonio just waited. After another minute, the answer came. "Yeah, I told her and she dumped Francis. I told him that and…and Toni…I think I might have accidentally confessed to him." Gilbert choked on his last words. He wanted to scream all over again, but he already ran over his emotional limit for the day. Even changing his expression felt like too much effort.
"Confessed?" Antonio echoed as he covered his mouth. His eyes went wider than Gilbert ever saw them and he had big eyes in the first place. Antonio prided himself on predicting his friends, but he must have gotten out of practice because he had no idea about this. Something in Gilbert's wording bothered him though. Accidentally? Did he make a mistake? But then why panic? "Wait, is it true then? Do you love him?" he asked, his voice nearly a whisper now, but still as squeaky. This would change everything. Antonio hated change, but he accepted this one without a hint of resistance.
"Yeah," Gilbert muffled against his knees. He hid his face again, but nothing about his tone sounded happy or liberated. "I'm in love with Francis and I can't even face him right now. I don't know what he'll say." Probably reject him, or even worse, try to give Gilbert a chance. He'd pretend he was in love just to make Gilbert happy, but only hurt him in the end.
Antonio started to notice a trend. It put a damper on his hope. Gilbert only ever said Francis. Was he included in this? Antonio didn't know how to ask. It was a bit presumptuous to demand Gilbert love him too. He was a black and white guy. Antonio thought they were in this together, but was Gilbert capable of loving two people at the same time? The funny thing was, if Gilbert gave him the chance, Antonio would return his love. It wasn't just his own selfishness to keep them to himself or the care he felt. If Gilbert wanted it, he felt sure his love could shift into the right kind. Antonio already loved him just like he loved Francis. But romantic love should feel different, probably. Feel like what? "Maybe you should-"
"I'm just going to pretend this didn't happen, okay," Gilbert cut him off. Since he wouldn't lift his head, he missed the serious look pointed his way. "I don't want a relationship, so I guess I'm done playing with you guys. Have fun together. I didn't want to fall in love and I know it can't go anywhere. You guys don't love me, so I won't make this more complicated than it has to be."
Antonio couldn't get a word in. Whenever he tried to speak, Gilbert talked over him. Antonio understood now—he intended to put his love in a box and bury it. He told himself he didn't really feel upset. This is what he wanted wasn't it? For them not to change into something they couldn't handle. Then why did it feel so wrong? "Maybe I could…if you want me-" Antonio found himself struggling over his words more than ever before. Gilbert didn't want Francis or him. It took effort to fight back the emotions warring on his face and the desire to attack Gilbert and shove love down his throat. But that wouldn't be very Toni would it? Finally he pulled back and stood. "That's it? Fine…give up. I'm not you, so I won't tell you how to live. Just, are you going to stay out here all night?"
Gilbert felt so wrapped up in his own issues that he forgot who he was with. His eyes shot up to lock with Antonio's. "I'm not-!" Okay, maybe he was giving up. He bit down hard on his lip, drawing blood. Antonio's tone sounded strange with a mix of meekness and bite to it. Gilbert knew he said something wrong, but he didn't know how to take anything back. If he did, none of this would be happening right now. Gilbert wanted to lash out, to somehow act more like himself. He settled for a snappish comment. "I won't go in if I have to see Francis. And I don't care what you think of me. I'm just looking out for number one!" He was really going to hate being alone again.
Antonio huffed at him, but slipped in the door. Oh my god! His friends were going to drive him crazy! Just inside the doorway, Antonio grabbed at his hair and danced around to expel the ten million things he wanted to say. The somber aura of the house cooled him down before a minute passed. He breathed out and crept across the room, unable to even call out Francis' name in this silence. It didn't take long to find the older man. He sat in the kitchen, almost right where Gilbert left him. Dinner got abandoned and only the bottle of rum sat on the table. Francis sipped the liquid from his glass and watched Antonio approach with wariness. They stared at each other and Antonio took in Francis' rumpled purple silk shirt, sleeves rolled up above the elbows where they would surely leave wrinkles. His hair tumbled loose around his face in a show of haphazard curls and frizz. He obviously pulled his hand through it too many times. The rum bottle at least didn't look much more empty than Antonio left it. Francis preferred to sip.
"So, Gilbert is in love with you," Antonio broke the silence with. Francis showed no visible signs of reaction.
"Yep," he answered with another sip of his drink. "I really should have seen it sooner. Now it's just so obvious." Francis shook his head. The confession shocked him, but that wasn't even half of it. He just had no idea what to do now. Could he give Gilbert what he wanted? He cared about him so deeply as a friend and as a person, but he didn't feel about him the way he did Arthur. Just like Gilbert said it wasn't fair for Alissa, it wouldn't be fair for him either.
"Don't say that. I didn't see it and I don't think Gilbert did either," Antonio sighed. "Do you love him back?" He at least needed all the facts, then he could figure out his place in this new sort of relationship. Why did their trio have to keep changing? He resisted the urge to sigh and whine and tell his friends off. Someone needed to be responsible here.
Finally, Francis shook his head. "No, I don't think so. Maybe…no." He shook his head again. "Where is he? I need to tell him I just can't right now. My heart's too fucked up." No one would expect anything out of him the same day he was forced to break up with his girlfriend in the midst of trying to let go of an unrequited love he could at least admit needed to go. Right? Francis wanted to be that person for someone besides Arthur. He wanted to be the guy who loved with all his heart and body. That didn't mean the idea didn't terrify him. He had Arthur almost his entire life. How could he live without him?
Antonio pouted and dropped a hand on top of Francis' glass when he made to chug it. "You'll make yourself sick!" Francis grimaced and let Antonio take the glass away to sip at himself. Francis didn't get crazy like his friends when filthy drunk. He just puked himself into misery. "Gilbert is sitting outside. He knows you're not ready, Francis." Antonio had his doubts about that when he stepped inside, but Francis' behavior proved Gilbert right. Their young friend could be very astute when he needed to be even if he was oblivious the other eighty percent of the time. "He doesn't want anything from us anyway." Antonio's voice dropped lower at that, a little hurt.
Francis didn't notice. He could only run the earlier conversation over and over in his head along with details of the past few months that just proved it all right. He slumped backwards in his chair, laughing without mirth. "I just remembered. He said at the start that he didn't want to sleep with friends because something terrible would happen. I guess he was right." Francis took his drink back and let the liquid wash down his throat. He didn't normally care for hard liquor, but to hell with that. He couldn't do anything he'd regret at this point. He already did all of that, but despite what he said, he didn't regret sleeping with Gilbert. These months had been some of the most wonderful of his life. "Oh, what the hell," he groaned. "I feel like such an asshole."
Lord, why do you keep putting me in situations like this? Antonio prayed in his head, his hand coming up to grasp his hidden cross. Francis eyed him as if looking for advice. Antonio supposed that served as an answer. "Okay, enough of this!" he exclaimed as he snatched up the rum bottle and whirled toward the cabinets. After he stored the bottle away where it belonged, he turned back to Francis with his hands on his hips and a very winning pout. "I'm going to let Gil in, so you go to your room, kay? He'll run away if we take any longer!" Gilbert would and maybe this time he wouldn't come back.
A wry smile twisted Francis' lips. "You're being awful responsible today." He pushed back his chair and looked at Antonio. The look in his eyes made the other man blink. It was strangely soft and unfamiliar. Why was Francis looking at him with such tenderness, like he couldn't appreciate them being together more than he did now.
"W-wait, don't look at me like that! It's freaking me out!" Antonio exclaimed. Confusion took over on Francis' face and Antonio sighed in relief. "Ah really you, don't make it sound like I want to be responsible!" He dropped to his knees next to the other's chair, wrapping arms around Francis' waist. There on his friend's lap, Antonio dropped his head. "Stop making me be the responsible one. I'm no good at it, Francis. Be 'big brother' again, kay?"
But Francis just shook his head. He dropped a hand on top of Antonio's and mussed his brown curls. It felt like he could bury his hands deep into that hair, so deep he wouldn't be able to find his fingers. Francis resisted though. "Sorry, but I think you're doing a better job right now than I could. At least no one can hate you when you smile."
Antonio cried out at that. "No one hates you either! That's the…"
"…problem isn't it?" Francis chuckled as he ended the sentence. Silence settled over them again. "I'm going to my room now. You've got to let go, Toni." Slowly the tanned arms slipped away from his middle. Francis stood and walked away. Before he reached his room though, he turned back. Antonio still knelt on the floor. Francis swallowed hard as he forced his words out. "Tell Gilbert it's alright to be a little stubborn." He slipped into his room and shut the door, leaving it open just enough that it didn't click into place. A hint? Antonio turned away with a thundering in his chest.
"Gilbert?" he called as he opened the front door again. Antonio found the younger man where he left him huddled on the porch. Gilbert jumped and shot his gaze up. "It's safe. Francis is in his room…in case you want to know." With that, Antonio turned away and let Gilbert slip past him inside. He nodded wordlessly and headed for his room. Antonio shut the door and trailed after. "Actually, I have something to say. I think-" The door slammed in his face. Antonio blinked then turned away, his face twisting. "Oh silly me, I forgot I'm no good at thinking!" He whirled into his room and fell onto the bed with a flail of arms and legs as he silently let out his frustration.