Chris sat down hard on the ground and Vin dropped as well. "Shit. Are you sure?" He nodded mutely. "Ezra, look at me." Chris had to repeat himself before Ezra raised his head slowly to face him. "You've had a hit to the head, and you've got heat stroke. How can you be sure?"

"I am Chris. I know." He closed his eyes again.

"Damn Ezra. I'm sorry."

Vin spoke softly. "Can you tell us what happened?" He shook his head, afraid to try to speak, fighting to control his emotions. He finally forced out "not yet".

Not knowing what else to do, the two men stood again and reach down to gently help Ezra stand. They supported his weight, virtually carrying him the few feet to the horses. Ezra reached up, stroking his hand down Pony's face. "You are a good horse my friend. I thank you for the ride." Chris's heart dropped to his boots watching the pain on the gambler's face, and knowing now that little of it came from the injuries. They got him in the saddle, and Chris mounted behind him, spurring Pony forward as soon as he settled in.

"Lean back into me Ezra. It's a long ride and I don't want you passing out."

"I will be fine, thank you. If I need to rest I shall."

"We're gonna find the bastards Ezra. They'll pay. I know it's not enough, but it's all I can promise."

"I understand. Thank you for your concern."

Not knowing what else to say, Chris said nothing. The ride was painfully quiet. Ezra barely spoke, offering one of two word answers at most as they kept checking on his health. He did seem to doze off from time to time, but the slightest jostle sent pain through his leg, bringing him back. Each time, he reached forward, gently stroking Pony's mane and mumbling his gratitude. Thankfully, Pony never indicated a problem with the load, sparing them the need to switch horses. It was just past sunset when they arrived at the edge of town. They'd been seen making the approach, and word spread quickly to the remaining members of the team that three men were coming on two horses. Chris roused Ezra from his fitful slumber.

"We're gonna be home in a just a few more minutes Ezra."

"Thank you for that, and for your assistance with the journey. I feel, that is I should – well, I feel I need to extend an apology to you."

"What the hell for?" He slowed Pony's gait, sensing he needed to focus on what was being said. Vin saw the action and did the same, bring Peso in close as well.

"This display, my reactions. I have no right to act this way, least of all in front of you."

"Ezra, you've clearly been in the sun too long. I have no idea what you are talking about."

"This emotion. This grief. Over a horse. And to demonstrate this in front of you, who has lost so much more." Ezra couldn't continue, which was just as well since Chris suddenly had an almost overwhelming desire to take the man's head off.

"Shut up Standish." He said in a tone much gentler than the words would suggest. "Dear God, Ezra. You have every right to your grief. It doesn't lessen anything I felt, or feel, to know that you are hurting. And don't try to convince me that Chaucer was just a horse. You think I, make that we, don't know that he was the closest thing you had to family for years? The bond between you and that horse. Hell, I've seen brothers that didn't get along that well."

"Still –"

"No 'still' to it Ezra." Vin joined in. "Ain't a person in town who isn't gonna feel the some of that loss, and understand just how bad you're hurting. No one is gonna say anything about it or think less of you because of it." And if they do, they'll regret it, he added to himself.

"Ezra, you do know Chaucer wasn't your only family any more – right? You get that we are all here for you?"

He hesitated a moment before answering. "I do. Strangely enough, I really do."

"Good, 'cause from the look of it, they're all back in town and out there waiting. We'll get you over to Nathan's office and then-"

"Please. My own bed. I need to be there. I need to be home."

Everything that was needed to take care of Ezra was at the clinic and it was easier for Nathan to work there as well. But the heartbroken sound in his voice broke down any resolve Chris had. Ezra had never been so vulnerable, so defenseless. Hell, he hadn't called either of them Mister all day.

Chris was relieved to see Nathan was back from his earlier mission. "How bad is he?"

Vin answered. "Bad, but not critical. Think he mostly needs rest and quiet." Josiah and Buck had both stepped forward and were carefully lowering Ezra. "You had us a bit worried there Hoss."

"Not me," JD spoke, trying to sound optimistic. "I knew you'd be fine. Where's –". Vin grabbed his arm to cut off the question. "Not now" he hissed quietly. Concern immediately outweighed his curiosity. The looks from Chris and Vin suddenly made him very afraid for what had happened. He took the reins from Chris, leading the horses away, looking back as he walked.

They tried to maneuver Ezra in, but were stymied by the small gasps came with each touch. With unexpected grace, Josiah lifted him into his arms, carrying him like a child toward his room while Buck opened the door. The fact Ezra voiced no complaint caused even more worry.

As soon as he was place on the bed, Chris started chasing everyone but Vin from the room. Nathan tried to stay, but Chris took him by the arm. "Vin can get him settled. Patching him up can wait for a minute. You need to know what happened first." Knowing better than to challenge Chris when he had that look on his face, they all gathered in the hall, moving them further away from the closed door. He held up a hand to stop the impending barrage of questions before it could start.

"He was ambushed. Hurt his head, ribs, leg. He walked some on it, which didn't help. Got lost cause of the heat and the hurt, so you can add burns and heatstroke to the list." They waited, knowing there was more. "The bastards killed Chaucer. Shot him."

"Fucking sons of bitches!" Buck looked for something to punch.

"Save your strength. We're going after them at first light."

"You don't need to." JD answered.

"The hell we don't!"

"No Chris. That's not what I meant. Sheriff Mitchell in White Rock sent a telegram just before you guys got here. Gang tried another ambush late this afternoon, but made the mistake of moving in too early. Turns out was part of an Army patrol. Killed three of the gang, arrested two more."

"Did they have extra horses?" Buck asked. Maybe Ezra'd been wrong.

"Telegram said no stolen property recovered, but I'll send one back asking to be sure. Think they would have mentioned finding the stuff for the judge if they'd found it though." JD ran down the stairs. Nathan turned to look back to Ezra's room. "I'm gonna check on him. Try to get him to drink some, and rest. You and Vin need to get some sleep too. He's gonna need us all at our best for the next little while."

"Don't rightly know what we can do for him." Chris muttered.

"Neither to I." Nathan walked slowly down the hall.

7-7-7-7-7-7-7

Nathan remained upstairs for a while, waiting for Ezra to fall asleep, or at least settle in. He'd spoken only to answer questions as his injuries were checked over, and hadn't uttered a word of complaint while drinking down some healing tea. The only sentence he'd volunteered was to thank Vin yet again as the man stood to depart.

"Ezra, stop thanking me. We only did exactly what you would have done. Just wish we'd gotten to you sooner. You get some rest and I'll be by to see you again. May not be for a bit – I've got some patrolling to do." Nathan started to correct him, but was silenced with a sharp look. Whatever Vin had in mind, he clearly didn't want Ezra knowing the details.

The men settled around their table in the saloon, nursing beers and waiting for another update. Vin let them know Ezra was settled some, then head out to wash off some of the trail dirt. The realization they no longer had to form a hunting posse in the morning had taken some of the urgency from the evening, and melancholy replaced it.

Vin came back after a short time, breaking the depressing silence. "I'm going back out there in the morning Chris. See if I can figure out what happened."

"What's the point?" Buck asked.

"Well, for one thing, there are the papers to find. Not really that important, but the Judge might still need them. More importantly though, Ezra's stuff might still be out there. The saddle and bridle, saddle bags."

"You really think he's gonna want that back? Was made special for Chaucer." JD found himself choking a bit when he said the name.

"It should be his choice is all I'm thinking. If I find it, and he doesn't want it, then we'll figure out something else to do."

"If the Olsen's took everything Sheriff Mitchell might have it. Why not wait till we hear back?"

"Thought you said there was no stolen stuff with them" Buck asked.

"Still think we should wait. Maybe the prisoners can fill in the details."

Chris saved Vin from voicing his real intention. "He wants to find Chaucer and bury him. Let Ezra know he was treated right at the end."

Vin nodded. "Don't know if there'll be a lot left. That area has coyotes, vultures and the like. Scavengers out there work fast, but the sooner I can find him… Let's just say I need to do this for both of them. It might help him. Help him accept this."

"That ain't gonna happen. He's never gonna accept this Vin. Him and that horse were like one. He's lost part of himself."

"I know Buck, that's why I've got to try something – anything."

"Chaucer was the only one who ever accepted him right from the start with no conditions or questions. He's not going to adjust easily." Josiah heart broke as he said it.

Conversation stopped when Nathan came in and sat down at the table. Without needing to be asked, JD left the table, returning a moment later, placing a gratefully accepted drink in front of the weary healer.

"Physically, he'll be fine. Leg is gonna bother him for a while, but it ain't busted. Everything else will clear up with some time as well. You did a nice job on the sunburn Vin. Lotion helped a lot. As for the rest-" he gulped about half the drink down.

"He finally told me what happened. Not even sure he really registered he was talking to me. Just seemed like he needed to get it out of his system.

Like you said, it was an ambush. Blaming himself for getting caught in it. Sees this as all his fault."

"Shit."

"Yeah Buck, that covers it. Says he leapt 'like the coward I am' off Chaucer. From his injuries, I'd say he fell off and found cover in some rocks. Chaucer bolted for the trees. Guess they were able to keep Ezra pinned while a couple of them managed to get to Chaucer. Or, to quote him again, 'while I let my oldest friend be taken'." More curses filled the air. "He could hear them shouting and fighting with him, trying to get him to stop bucking and kicking. They got the saddlebags free then started cursing out the fact there was no money, just papers. They shouted something about holding the horse steady, a few more shouts, then two shots. Next thing all Ezra heard was them all laughing."

Nathan gulped what was left of his drink, but waved off JD before he could get another.

"Never seen Ezra like this before; he looks so lost. So guilty. He's always so damned good at hiding his emotions you tend to forget just how much the man hurts when things go bad."

"He say anymore?" Chris asked, sensing this wasn't over.

Nathan chewed on his lip for a minute, knowing how the final part of the story was going to affect the team. "They were pissed there was no money. Ezra heard them say at least they could drag Chaucer off. Sell him for horse meat." Chris's glass hit the wall and shattered. "Ezra either can't or won't remember if anything else was said. I'm betting he passed out."

"He said he tried to set off after them when he came to, but figured out pretty fast he couldn't. Needed to get home so that we could help him. Don't think he really expected to make it back from what he was saying."

"What do you mean?" JD asked.

"Wanted to write a note so that we'd know what happened. When we found his body." He didn't push away the drink Chris put in front of him, but didn't gulp it either. As much as getting drunk felt like a good idea, he knew he needed to keep his head reasonably clear. "Said all his stuff was still with Chaucer. Then he just stopped talking."

"Tomorrow," Josiah growled, "I am riding to White Rock to kill the bastards. Anyone of you think you can stop me, you best think again." He stood up. "I'm gonna go sit with him."

"Stop him hell. I'm goin' with him." Buck fought to keep his voice level as he shook with anger.

"Nobody's goin' anywhere Buck. I ain't denying we'd feel a whole lot better, but us getting hanged won't help Ezra."

"Can't imagine anything that will." JD commented.

"Time will JD. Only thing that will."

"No, not the only thing Chris." Vin corrected. "We'll help him."

tbc

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