Hey everybody Amanda here. I just want to say I am so sorry its taken me so long to get this chapter out to you guys. I have been so utterly busy at work and in my personal life since the holidays are coming up. I haven't forgotten about you guys though. Anyway this chapter takes on a much darker tone to the love story between Sera and Elora so let me know what you guys think. Also I know its not as long as some of my most recent chapters because I wanted to something out to you guys while I had a little time to myself. Always remember to be yourself, my friends. :) Enjoy.

Elven translations

ina'lan'ehn- beautiful

nas'falon-soulmate

Cold waves of harrowing depression shifted in Elora's chambers. Darkness crept over the silent stone walls, papers gliding on a current of remorse in the air. A single weeping figure lay on the maroon carpet, books surrounding her. Elora buried her face in her knees wanting to escape the hell she forced herself into. Sharp emotional pains struck their blow upon her fragile body each time she gasped for a breath. Lavellan tightly closed her eyes, hoping when she opened them she would find herself in her luxurious bed. She pleaded in her mind this was all one gigantic nightmare.

"Hair as bright as the sun, coming up the steps. Please don't hate me. I'm your friend but yet my heart yearns for your beauty. Shade cascading over her through the trees. Red and yellow dance in my eyes. Our lips touch, my heart stops momentarily. Could this be true? After all these years my soul has been warmed by her wondrous character. Come back!"

Cole sat casually on the desk, one leg hanging off the edge swinging with serene grace. A pale look of sympathy to match his pale complexion. The young man desperately wanted to take away his friends pain but Elora wouldn't stand for it.

"Cole, please don't speak about her anymore, I can't bear to live with myself. I hurt Sera, I don't even deserve to say her name out loud."

Elora forced herself to get up from her bed of papers on the carpet. Dragging her feet, she walked over to the window, her reflection glaring back at her.

"Inquisitor. It's a title I'm not worthy of Cole. This damn mark on my hand is the only reason why they gave me the title. I'm no hero. I'm a murder."

Lavellan turned to face Ilena's chest, swallowing a lump of guilt. Cole scanned Elora's thoughts and was horrified by what he heard inside Elora's darkened mind. It was the first and probably the only time Lavellan noticed the young man actually show emotion.

"No! Inquisitor you can't. What about Corypheus? What about Thedas? What about your friends like Leliana, Solas, and everyone else? Ilena wants you to be happy. She has given you the honor of guiding her soul into paradise. Don't you want to help her?"

Fury enveloped Elora with a hunger that couldn't be satiated. The innocence that always sparkled in her eyes vanished, replaced by deep despair. The memory of the intimate kiss Sera placed on her lips replayed several times. Blue eyes and a dimpled, freckled smile were forever plastered in her mind.

"Don't go there with me Cole. I'm sorry but it is the right thing to do at this point. Nothing else matters to me. I want to feel my beating heart again. I want to live in those moments, back when I was young and free. Here I will never accomplish that goal again. Don't worry, I will talk to my friends first."

Lavellan stepped towards the stairs but was halted by a pale hand placed on her slumped over shoulder.

"Inquisitor. Please. I won't try and stop you because I am a spirit and unable to help you because you have insisted you don't want my help. But please come with me to the battlements, you should see this. I don't know whether it will change your mind or not but for the sake of friendship, please follow me."

Elora sighed and went along with Cole down to the great hall. Elora spotted Varric in the distance relaxing beside the fireplace sipping on a pint of mead working on his next great novel.

"I will meet you at our usual spot Inquisitor. Go talk to your friends if you must. I must say, I like the way you help people. Thank you for that, Inquisitor. I just want you to know if you go through with this a lot of people out there will be very sad without your help."

Cole disappeared in a cloud of smoke before Elora had a chance to reply to his meaningful words. Elora took in a deep breath to try and get her words straightened out so she wouldn't sound like a babbling fool in front of her closest friends.

Each step became increasingly weighted down with reluctant resolution as Josephine's study grew near. Each and every man, woman, and child of Thedas jammed her mind. Cole was right, the fate of Thedas rested on her whole embodiment of strength and determination. She acknowledged this with great sorrow knowing what she was attempting. Lavellan was worn and weathered away, at this point nothing else mattered except the one point that she was going to prove.

Faces of hope lit up when Elora walked into view. They swarmed her conscious like bees to flowers. If they only could step into Lavellan's shoes for one day that hope would diminish rapidly. Guards saluted the elf with unwavering respect, smiling knowing Elora was a leader worth following. But just not today.

I'm sorry solider. If you knew the real me, the murderer and killer of hearts, that gesture would mean nothing. I'm sorry Thedas but I have already lost this battle. My eyes see but one outcome and two souls that will never forgive my actions. Mythal, if you are looking down on me, you cannot save me anymore. I'm not worth it.

The door of the ambassador's office creaked open and a dainty woman filled Elora's eyes. Writing away upon her handy clipboard, soaking in the glow of the fireplace. Her work was in vain according to Lavellan.

"Josephine….I…..uh...need to ask a favor."

Josephine was startled by the sudden voice in the back of the room. Delighted to see her friend, she immediately put the quill in her hand to rest and greeted the elf at the entrance.

"Inquisitor, what a surprise, I was not excepting you. Is everything alright mi 'lady?"

Elora gently closed the door behind her fragile frame of a body and tried to conceal her undying emotions. Josephine has been in the Inquisition from the start and has been a tremendous help to its growth. She may not be battle worthy but her quill and ink were the only things she needed to start a battle of diplomacy. Elora held great respect for the woman.

"Josephine, could you arrange a meeting in the war room immediately. I need Leliana,Cullen,Solas,Bull,Varric,Vivenne,Dorian,Cassandra,and Blackwall to come with a listening ear and a understanding heart. I would like you there as well."

Josephine seemed slightly confused by the sudden arrangement but she knew orders were orders. Josephine started to agree but hesitated as she recited the names in her swirling mind.

"I understand mi 'lady but what about Sera and Cole? Would you like them to join as well? I'm not trying to question your authority mi 'lady it's just that you named off all…"

"My companions. Yes, I know. I have already spoke with Cole and Sera well…she…is um...not feeling well. Please Josephine, just trust me. I will be waiting in the war room for their arrival."

Josephine bowed to Elora and rushed off in a hurry to recruit some messengers for the task given to her. Elora was trying to piece together each word to be spoken to her companions. Flying left and right inside a nervous cloud of thought. A speech that would define the ticking time bomb of her disorienting soul. A coy smile formed on her face knowing in just a few minutes her soul would become two, all wrapped up in loving peace. The war room inched closer, it was to become a window to her forgiveness.

Mythal, please guide my friends to an understanding heart and open minds. History will never be the same, neither will Skyhold. This is all for you, Ilena. Your wish is to be granted tonight by my hand.

Moonlight soaked the war table, highlighting enemy movements and ally's quests to gain a foothold. Ten optimistic faces filled the room. Elora stood diligently in front of the crowd. Each companion represented the strength of the Inquisition as a whole. A unity that could never be destroyed. Elora examined each of her friends, remembering each moment in time when they met. Realization washed over Lavellan with fierce intensity making a spark ignite within her unsettled heart.

These amazing individuals have sacrificed their own lives for me. Why did I not come to this conclusion earlier? Ever since my parents died I had no family, no proper home until I met Ilena. Even then I was careless and I ended up losing her. She was my home.

My friends are my home. Wait! Not friends but family. A big family with big hearts. They protect me because they see me as part of their family. Fuck! Don't cry. Hold in the tears. I have to be professional about this.

"Thank you all for coming to join me tonight. I know it's late but this couldn't wait."

Arms crossed behind the back and emotional baggage weighing on her shoulders, Elora mustered up the courage to finally give her one of a kind speech.

"My friends, you have been like a family to me. Each of you standing before me today has run head first into battle by my side without hesitation, without questioning me. It warms my heart knowing my family has my back. I'm proud of all of you. This Inquisition has grown to a considerable size and I wouldn't have been able to pull that off by myself. I also would like to apologize ahead of time."

The strength to hold tears back had all but diminished as time passed. Elora's hands quivered in guilt. Expressions of blatant confusion became clear as tears flowed down Elora's cheeks. Leliana pushed forward from the crowd of concerned companions. The spymaster rushed over to the grief stricken elf.

"My friend, what has got you all worked up. Did you do something worth apologizing for?"

Wiping away her liquid sorrow she reassured Leliana with the next half of her speech.

"I'm fine. It's just you all have come so far in this fight for Thedas. I apologize in regards to the future. No matter what happens from this moment onward I want you all to keep fighting with every drop of might in your blood. Never give up hope. Every new horizon brings a new day. Take it day by day. Fight for what matters most in your life be it your loved ones or for your own life. If you are out there neck deep in demons just remember Thedas is your home and you won't let Corypheus win. I believe every one of you has the power to make a difference. It has been a great honor to fight by your side but again I must apologize. Please forgive me. Mythal guide you all."

Suffocating silence encircled each member of the Inquisition. No one could pinpoint why Elora gave the inspiring speech. The apology echoed with a haunting presence in the room. Only one who was trained in the art of perception would be able to catch on to Elora's scheme.

"Elora! Wait! Don't walk out that door! What the hell is going on? I'm not a blind fool."

Leliana's apprehensive voice cut through to Elora's pointed ears. Hand on the doorknob, Lavellan froze, trying to push back the urge of lashing out towards her best friend. Elora wanted to escape the twenty eyes that tore into her back. Her escape route lay right behind the door but there was no evading Leliana's question.

"Leliana, please I must be going. I have to meet up with someone. I told you all there is to know, nothing more, nothing less."

"Elora, just what is it you plan on doing? There is only two reason a person gives a speech such as that. Before they go into a great battle with their greatest foes or as a farewell speech. Which one is it, Elora?"

Elora could feel the tips of her ears become hot while trying to cook up a lie that would get Leliana off of her case. Worried glances and whispers bombarded Elora's ears and soul. Tears splashed on to the cold, stone floor. She prayed she wouldn't have to turn around to face her friend.

"Leliana. Please…stop…this. This is none of your concern. I gave my speech and let's just leave it at that. Can I not just give you guys' inspiration once in a while?"

"My friend, I have eyes and ears everywhere. I noticed a small detail in this room only Josephine mentioned earlier. Sera and Cole are not present. If you meant to inspire us you would have had all your companions from your inner circle join tonight. The tips of your ears are red, you're lying. I know Cole is sitting on the battlements outside. I caught sight of him through the window before I came down here. Bull, is Sera really not feeling well?"

"Um, no. She has been stuck in her room all day. I asked if she wanted to drink with me earlier but she told me to fuck off basically."

Elora's heart raced in her chest feeling as if it were going to explode. NO! I will not let her blurt out my intentions. They must not know. Damn it, Leliana! Why do you have to make my life so complicated right now? Fuck these ears, always giving me away. Should have worn my armor and helmet to hide them.

"I don't know what is going on with you lately Elora but don't lose your focus just because Sera made you realize the truth inside yourself. Frankly, I don't even think Sera knows what she wants in life."

Elora turned around so quickly it made her head spin. Anger coursed itself through her veins. A red film became cloaked over Lavellan's eyes. Small, short breaths seeped out from her lungs. Rage filled her voice.

"YOU DON'T KNOW A DAMN THING ABOUT SERA! STAY OUT OF THIS LELIANA! BACK OFF! I HAVE MADE A DESCISION AND NO ONE NOT EVEN YOU, IS GOING TO CHANGE MY FUCKING MIND!"

Leliana backed away from Elora, fearing for her own life. A small tear of shock slid down the spymasters pale check. Entering back into reality, Elora was astonished at the sight before her. In Lavellan's rage she pulled out her concealed dagger and held it against Leliana's bare throat. Blinding anxiety rolled over Elora's trembling hand, making her release the weapon to the cold, stone tiles. Disappointment hovered above her companion's heads as they looked on in sheer horror. Mouth gaping wide, petrified disbelief ran through her legs down to her feet as she backed away closer to the exit.

"I'm….sorry…I didn't mean…I must go."

Bolting through the great hall Lavellan spared no time to arrive at the battlements. Legs moving faster than the world revolving around the small elven woman. Guards blurred past Elora's tear clouded eyes, wind entangling its grip through her ginger hair, Elora couldn't pull Leliana's horrified features from her mind.

"How could I commit such a monstrous act? Leliana has been there for me since Haven. She is like the older sister I never gained as a child. I'm nothing but a mistake. An unimportant blimp on this forsaken land. I never deserved this Inquisition."

Stopping in the middle of the busy courtyard to catch a much needed breath, Elora looked towards the twinkling diamonds that filled the night sky. Rays of the moon cast a spotlight on the dreary elf, illuminating the intricate, blue flowers that marked her pale complexion. Eyes closed, she took in the air of the night through her nostrils. Small laughter from children could be heard throughout the hold. The repetitive sound of an axe slamming down on logs echoed back into Lavellan's ears. Notes from Maryden's lute slipped under the cracks of the door to the tavern. Elora had a difficult time getting used to all the emanating sounds when she first arrived at Skyhold. Home was quiet and crickets would play their lullaby each night before she dozed off. Soon peace would knock at her door.

"It's almost time Ilena. My ina'lan'ehn nas'falon. One will become two."

Cole sat patiently atop the stone wall, overlooking a single window in the tavern. "Inquisitor, I'm happy you have come. I was starting to worry that your friend wouldn't let you meet me."

Elora crossed her arms as the cold nipped at her. She cautiously sat down next to the young spirit, hoping he would emit some kind of body heat. A raven made its perch beside Cole. He dipped his finger down to the stone, letting the intimidating creature hop on to this temporary foothold. He stroked the back of the bird's head affectionately, calming the raven's flapping wings.

"A small being such as this raven can endure the harshest of times, Inquisitor. No matter the cost it will find a way to survive and help the world in some way. He could spread the seeds of berries so another bush can grow, becoming a food source for another animal. The raven helped and now the other animal is fat and happy because of the bird. This raven is like you, except you help people. They like you Inquisitor. Please don't make them sad."

"Cole, I already told you, nothing is going to change my mind. Now what did you want to show me or are we just going to sit here and talk about ravens all night?"

The raven flew off into the dead of night, squawking its goodbyes. A flame came to life in the lonely window of the tavern. A shadowy figure sat down on a cushioned bench, head low with depression. Pillows were hurled at the closed door with extreme vexation. Once all the pillows hit the door, the small framed figure grabbed a glass bottle of what looked like whiskey and chugged it down without pause. Once the whiskey was all consumed the bottle was shattered against the door. A yell of dissatisfaction seeped through the window.

"Piss weak shite! Fuck the bloody world. Just had to get her panties in a knot! Stupid head of mine gets me filled with stupid shite feelings for Lady Herald! Then I'm the one to get an arrow shot at me!"

"That is what I wanted to show you, Inquisitor. I wanted you to hear her thoughts if you are willing to listen."

Needle pricks of fear tickled Elora's skin in the moonlight. Hearing the symphony of a voice she grew to love tore a gaping hole of regret into her pounding chest. She was sure Cole could hear her panic. Nails scraping against the cold, unchanging stone, Elora wished she had the power to vanish into thin air. There was no escaping this hell that Cole invited her into. The door was locked behind her until the demon was done making amends for the mistake she created.

"Fine, but only for a few minutes. I'm in desperate need to care of something"

Cole sat in unwavering silence, staring blankly down at the courtyard below. A child like expression became apparent throughout the spirit's face. He seemed as if he lost his favorite toy or a precious family member.

"Cole, are you okay?"

"Yes….umm no. Before I tell you her thoughts I need to know one thing. What's going to happen to us and this Inquisition if you go through with this?"

Cole's eyes pleaded to Elora for a definite answer to the problem they might face. Lavellan skimmed her mind for an answer but there was no point. She already knew the answer from the start. Being the Inquisitor, people relied on Elora to share all advice and all knowledge about forthcomings. She answered all questions with a precise, tactical input. This time was different, the answer was simple and it wasn't to her liking.

"Cole, I honestly don't know. It's ultimately your decision. Not mine. As for the Inquisition I wouldn't know either…."

"WHY! Inquisitor, people are going to die if you do this. Why can't you just fight!? You're my friend and you make me happy. I can make you forget about all of it. You act like you don't even care about anyone but yourself. This will make Sera very, very sad. I'm not ready to go back into the Fade yet, I want to continue helping the Inquisition. Please Lavellan, don't do this. If you can't stop this for your friends, then stop for Sera."

Leaping up from the stone wall and back onto solid ground Elora's anger subdued her. Cole was running the elf's patience thin. A lecture wouldn't change her mind. Stubbornness is the building blocks to Elora's strength in battle, never backing down from a challenge. Even if the challenge was her storm of untamed emotions.

"SHUT UP! I do care about my friends, don't assume I'm not fighting. I lost this battle when I said goodbye to Sera. Cole, quit trying to reach into my heart because all you will find is a chunk of ice. This is the only way I'm going to win and in the long run Sera can forget about me this way. I'm making this sacrifice for her. I can't listen to you lecture me anymore. Goodbye Cole."

Elora halted in her haste to reach her next destination as a flurry of words resonated in the night. The memories touched her mind in a way that only happened once in her lifetime. Each picture and scene played in a dazzling loop, each more serene as they replayed in her memory banks. The darkness was erased in her mind momentarily the more her heart grew with affection.

"The sun glints on the sword of faith and strength of Thedas. Her voice is beautiful and her hair flows in the wind like a red rose petal. Blood rushes into my cheeks making them hot. Did she just look at me? Of course not, probably has the hots for Curly. I wish I could explain my feelings for her. Not good with words only arrows. Morning sunlight seeps into the fabric of the leather tent illuminating the Herald of beauty. She sleeps soundly. Even the tattoo on her face highlights her striking blue eyes. Can't keep my eyes away, mouthwatering as if looking at delicious cookie. No! Stop! She probably doesn't even like women. Probably too elfy. Pain sears down my body like a hot iron. A shadow of death blackens my sight. Ilena! No! She tried to save me. Does this mean she likes me? Who is Ilena? NO! NOT BALDY! I knew it! She is too elfy for me. Trees scrape yellow and red exposing pale skin in the cold night. Tears flood the forest floor. I'm done trying to find happiness. I don't want to be in this Inquisition anymore. I held her hand while she told me about her past and I didn't have the courage to tell her what I felt. Why can't I tell her like a normal person? A small body asleep in the cold forest, I have nothing to live for. I have had enough heartbreak. A beautiful sound hits two pointed ears, a rustle in the bushes reveals a glamourous sight. Heart beating with intense desire as she gazes into my eyes. I want her. No I want her forever. The truth floats in the air as two lovers kiss with a passion that cannot die out. An ache resides in two cores. Each ignores the lust to fall to the ground. Hooves pound the dirt, laughter escapes from two happy souls. The race of love. Sera, I'm alive again. Thank you! The smell of hay fills my nose but she has claimed my heart. I think she is the one to heal my festering wounds. Please Andraste, let this be the one. Two tongues dance in harmony as each lip welcomes the touch. I never want to stop kissing Elora."

Elora couldn't help but slide her finger over her bottom lip as she desperately tried to remember the feel and taste of Sera's petite mouth. The thought of the archer drove Elora crazy but she didn't let it push her away from her harrowing decision.

"Inquisitor, would you like me to continue?"

Elora nodded knowing her mistake was about to be unfolded out of Sera's heart.

"Gloom falls upon a cold heart, a chest catches her sparkling eyes. Anxiety twirls in her fingers, a decision that must be made. Is Elora mad at me? Why is she sad? What is in that chest? No! I've seen that look before, it can't be. Words of despair filled a heart that beat with hope. Let's be friends she says. A door slams and echoes with heartbreak. Nimble feet pick up the pace through the crowded hall. Tears well up in the eyes that once held light. PURE SHITE! I was wrong, I'm wrong about everything. Inky is just another stupid mistake. She hurt me but does she not see I actually love her. I get this weird feeling when I'm around her. No one else gave me that gift before. No one, not even Inky, can love an elf like me. What did I do to deserve this? Andraste, help me."

Cole casually walked over to the shaking elf. A caring hand of comfort rubbed the shoulder of a friend in need. "You see, Inquisitor. She still loves you. Why would you want to give that up?"

"STOP! DON'T TOUCH ME! THAT IS EXACTLY THE REASON WHY THIS MUST BE DONE! I FUCKING HURT HER COLE!"

Elora shoved Cole's hand forcefully off her shoulder making it clear not to touch her again. What Lavellan heard was overwhelming enough to put her in a frenzy of disgust towards herself.

"Inquisitor, she…."

"Enough Cole! I'm done debating this with you. Tonight is the last and final time anyone here is going to see me. I'm done with all this bull shit. I'm done being the Inquisitor. I'm done being the reason for hurting the ones I love. It is time for me to join Ilena in the Fade. At least I will be at peace there and I will become whole again. Goodbye, Cole. Don't try and seek me out in the Fade either."

Elora stormed off in a remorseful rage leaving Cole behind in the dust. He watched as Elora disappeared behind the tower and out of earshot.

"You can come out now Sera."

Sera revealed her figure from the shadows with a distressed look gathered in her eyes.

"Did I just hear that shite right? Does she really want to kick the bucket because of my arse?"

Cole grimly turned to Sera and thanked her for staying quiet.

"How long have you been standing there?"

"Well I heard you two griping about my arse through the window and I just had to see what had your undies in a wad. Wait a minute…you meant for me to hear that didn't you Creepy?"

"Yes, I did. You may be the only one to stop her from killing herself over her grief. If she dies tonight then all of Thedas will die with her, including us. I know deep down you want her back. I know you want to help her love you again. She loves you as well, I can see it inside her. You were right on one thing though, she is the one to heal your festering wounds Sera. You have to show her the path Sera. She has not been on that path for years now that is why Ilena is stuck on her mind. Sera, please show her true passion"

Sera awkwardly stared at the ground kicking a small pebble around and rubbing the back of her neck with embarrassment. There was no way she was going to look Cole in the face after what he just said.

"But...uhh...what if she is still upset at my arse? What if she isn't…you know ready to…uhhh…show me the color of her underwear? Damn it Creepy. Why did you have to make this weird?"

Cole lifted Sera's head up with his finger underneath her chin and offered her an assuring smile. "Trust me Sera. I believe in you. You're the only one who can warm her heart. Now go, we are running out of time. She will have an audience so no matter what happens keep your focus on Elora."

Sera took a deep breath and nodded to Cole, taking off in the distance, determined to reach her beautiful flower.