Sorry for the long wait. This chapter took alot out of me. Please Note There are Several Trigger warnings In this chapter. Remember there is a method to my madness. Don't worry.

Chapter 6

Regina's vacation home shopping ended up being put off for another two months. Something about end of the quarter earnings and losses. Emma didn't really get the reason, but it meant the executive couldn't take a single weekend off. The single mother wasn't complaining though. Regina's lack of time off gave her more time to think about how to explain to Henry that she was going out of town for the weekend. In her excitement to have a vacation, she had agreed while completely forgetting that she had never left him alone for such a long time. She had been there either every night or when he woke up in the morning. How would he deal with her not being there? He was five.

Speaking of Henry, he was the reason Emma was rushing down the street at the moment. Her shift at the coffee shop was over, but she only had a few hours to get things done. There was the mandatory conference she had been called to at the school, then she had to take Henry home and feed him and do any homework required, then drop him at Granny's before heading for her night at the club. Jason had continually cut her hours each week. She stopped arguing with him about it when he called her a "baby mama". She nearly punched him in the throat, but August grabbed her first. She had started asking August to check the schedule the day of before she left home. As she expected, several times it had "magically" changed and she was no longer on staff for the day. As a result, her time at the club nearly doubled, and she wasn't lucky enough to only bartend…and tonight was a non-bartending night, meaning she need to 'primp' before she left.

"Ms. Hamilton's classroom." Emma said as she signed the visitors log in the front office. She looked down at her attire. White oxford shirt with a name tag, coffee stained apron and black slacks. She grinned embarrassedly as she removed her apron and threw it into her black backpack. Stupid, she thought as the secretary gave her a reproving look. With a nod to the door she headed down the hallway of the prestigious school. Emma couldn't help but smile as she saw the artwork, awards and trophies that lined the hallway. Her schools hadn't been anything like this. This was what kids needed; a strong start in life.

She had no idea what Henry had done that required a conference. He was always so well behaved, even in preschool. The teachers said he was no problem, so she was in shock when she got a letter last week asking her to come in.

"Ms. Hamilton?" Emma said as she walked in. She hadn't seen the woman since his first day and for the life of her she couldn't remember what the woman looked like.

"Momma!" Henry yelled as he ran up to her. She engulfed him in a tight hug. Her little man.

"Ms. Swan," an older woman said. She looked friendly enough, Emma thought. Older than Regina, but nothing ancient. Emma gave her a smile, but when the woman didn't smile back, her face cleared quickly.

"Why don't you go play baby, while mommy talks to your teacher for a moment."

"Okay." He ran back over to the mat with the alphabet on it while Emma sat down at one of the little tables. The chairs were tiny, but she made it work since the teacher didn't offer her any alternative.

"I was really surprised to get your letter. Henry has never had a problem in school…"

"Henry isn't having a problem. He is actually one of my best students."

"Oh!" Emma said, breaking out into a grin. Henry was one of the best. The best. "Then what's the problem?"

"Ms. Swan, are you aware that this school has rules for the attire of the students each day."

"Yes. I know the dress code."

"And are you aware that Henry has been out of the dress code several times a week for the last couple of months."

"What?"

"A plain navy blazer does not count. He has to wear a blazer with the school emblem, as well as a tie with the same symbol. He didn't have a tie for several weeks at one point."

"I understand that, but he is five. He spills things on almost a daily basis and he only has the one jacket…."

"Then he needs more than one."

"Those blazers are $75 ma'am. I can't afford to just buy him multiple sets."

"We all have our priorities Ms. Swan," the teacher said eyeing Emma's smart phone. "His uniform needs to be one of yours."

"Excuse me?"

"I know your….situation….and we've made certain allowances, but other students have complained as to why Henry gets special rules. This is why we have single standard for all of our students." Emma scoffed at the insinuation. She had priorities. Rent was a priority. Food when her EBT ran out was a priority. Babysitters and was transportation. Toilet paper a priority.

She could feel herself becoming upset. She was damn good mother. So what if she couldn't afford an entire school wardrobe for Henry. They were crazy with their prices. Who pays $75 for a jacket just because it had a gold symbol on it? It looked no different than the ones she bought Henry for when his official one was dirty.

"Ms. Hamilton, I work hard every day to make sure my son has what he needs. I am doing the best I can and he is a good kid, you said so yourself. I am a single mother…"

"Ms. Swan, other parents have mentioned their children complaining about special treatment. We can't have that. I'm sorry."

"Well what do you want me to do? Do you have a second hand store filled with uniforms? I will gladly go buy another blazer for 70% off."

"He has to get in line with the dress code or it will be considered insubordination. Too many incidents and he will be expelled. I'm sorry. You knew the rules when you enrolled him in September." Emma nodded, knowing she had no way to do this.

"How long?"

"We'll give you a month." She didn't say thank you as she stood up and called her little man over to go. He grinned up at her before waving excitedly to his teacher, promising to see her the next day. He'd be devastated if he had to switch schools. She had to simply try for more tips at the club. At least $250 more than she needed for her bills and necessities. That would give him another jacket, a couple of ties, and a couple of white shirts. She would do it for her little guy.

At this point, she was just happy the school didn't ask for special socks and underwear.

[SQ]

"They are just being assholes," Ruby said as she closed up her locker. "You should call the news. I can see the headlines. 'Boughie school expels son of single mother.'"

"Ruby, I signed a contract when I enrolled Henry. His uniform is a requirement. They are within their right to enforce it."

"But it's dumb, Emma. So what if his tie is just a plan blue tie. He's doing his work and being a good kid." Emma nodded and completely agreed. But there was nothing she could do. She hooked her stockings up to her panties via the garters and smoothed down the material.

"I know Rubes, but I'll work it out. It wouldn't be such an issue if my hours at the café weren't cut. I'll have to talk to Rob about increasing my nights here somehow. I need to take on a third night." Ruby arched an eyebrow.

"You know you don't want to do that Ems."

"No I don't but I'm not even part time with the café at this point and I have been looking for another job but I don't have my high school diploma so I'm not finding any. I need another night." She fluffed up her hair, adding a bit of hair spray to get the wild look to stay. "Its just another night. Three nights a month isn't much."

"I know but it was supposed to be temporary and…"

"I know. I know, but my son comes before everything, even my pride and I gotta do what I gotta do to make sure he stays in that school." The blonde shook out her body a bit, adjusted her breasts in the barely there bra before turning and posing in front of her friend, "so is this okay?"

"I'm sure you will be able to afford more than just a blazer before the night is over."

"Good…because I am nearly out of shampoo," she added, trying to add some levity to her voice and failing. Even with the fake smile on, her voice shook and the nerves were obvious to her long time friend.

"Emma you know, I can loan you the…."

"No. Just no. You have your own debts to pay. Granny's medical…"

"So what? I can pick up a night here and there with no problem. I have been doing this for years and don't mind the creeps leering at me. Emma this isn't….this isn't for you."

"Well it's all I got right now," she slammed the door to her locker shut and walked off before the brunette could get another word in.

Ruby didn't understand. Emma had been low like this before, hell she'd been poor all her life. She was used to doing what she needed to do. From stealing to rummaging in the trash when she ran away as a teen. But now it wasn't about her, it was about Henry. The last few years he was the only thing keeping her afloat. Whenever things seemed hard, she just pulled him into her arms and she knew she could keep going. She would do anything she needed to keep him from any type of harm. She knew there was no limit to what she would do to keep him from the hell that was her life.

[SQ]

**warning heterosexual lap dance**

The coy smile stayed on her face as she walked down from the stage. She had picked him out about two minutes into her set. Every time she stepped out of the spotlights glare, his eyes were glued to her more so than any other patron. Normally she kept her eyes on the spotlight at all time, to keep herself from seeing the customers at all, but she couldn't tonight. She had to take advantage of all aspects of her business; work them from every angle. She had to make sure she got as much as possible, and for some reason people seemed to be throwing singles and nothing higher.

She bent her head slightly and looked up at him from beneath the false lashes and heavy liner. As she walked pass, she ran her nails across his shoulder and up his neck, ignoring the disgusting feeling of his neck sweat on the pads of her fingers. She headed up to the bar, getting a glass of water from the bartender of the night. Never rush. It was something Ruby taught her the first time she did a dance. Make them wait, give them a moment to think about you before you offer so that they will be sure to accept no matter the fee.

"Another drink," she offered as she went back up to the man. She kept her voice lower than normal, a false sign of arousal that men seemed to eat up. She pulled the empty beer bottle from his hand, taking it to the bar to replace it. As she gave him a fresh bottle, she slid onto his lap, raking her short but manicured hands across his chest.

The music blasting from the speakers had just enough beat to give her a rhythm to rock on his lap. Luckily he kept his eyes trained on his chest to where she didn't have to look into his eyes. Facing them like this in the open was pretty easy, her eyes going to the stools at the bar as the moments in his lap were second nature to her.

She glanced down as she felt the sensation of a bill being placed in her bra. She kept the disappointment from her face as she saw it was only a single. He was one of those. The ones who used smaller bills to keep the dancers working.

She got off of his lap and turned around, bending over, feeling him tuck a few bills in her panties before throwing a few over her head.

She continued throughout the song till its end, only pausing to momentarily retrieve the tips from the ground. She tucked them neatly into her bra before turning back to the patron.

"Wanna go somewhere private," she whispered directly into his ear. She stood up behind him, pressing her breasts into his back, feeling his sweaty head against her neck. Luckily he didn't stink like some, she would have abandoned her pursuit if that were the case.

The man didn't answer, but grinned and stood from his chair and fished the appropriate amount from his wallet. Emma did her best to place a smile on her face as she took his hand and led him to one of the private rooms, pausing only to pass her tips and fees to Ruby for the brunette to lock up for her as she walked.

Private dances, while the most lucrative in terms of tips, were the thing she hated most about her job. It was easier when she was on the stage to not see them as people. People looking down on her, reducing her to no more than a breathing toy for their entertainment. On the stage, they weren't human...they weren't even there. She was simply moving her body back and forth the music. The blinding spotlight blocking out expressions when she wished, to where she could keep her eyes on the wall. Even when giving lap dances the commotion all around her gave her some relief.

Private dances didn't afford her that luxury. Up close she could see the faces, the leers, the grins. She couldn't help wondering what they were thinking of doing to her. She could see and sometimes feel the physical reactions they had to her. Taking her to a place in her past she didn't want to be.

The man was one of many…they were all the same to her. Men she saw several times a week. She didn't care for what he was saying, what little lines he felt the need to give her as if he wasn't paying for her services. They found the small booth quickly. She turned up the music as the man sat down in on the plush chair.

Emma had a way she dealt with it. She simply wasn't there.

As she swung around the pole, leaning in the direction of the man, she remembered what she doing this for. She reminded herself that this was only temporary. She wasn't always going to be some woman taking off her clothes and grinding on a pole for a stranger in a suit and tie. No she was going to be someone others respected. She was going to have a home. Henry was going to have siblings. They were going to live in a small house out of the city.

This was just a means to an end. He was going to give her the money she needed to keep Henry in a good school.

She spun around two more times, before feeling up her body. Her hands running from her thighs, up her toned stomach and caressing her breasts as she walked forward, forcing herself to look into his eyes and she brought herself closer to him.

**trigger warning for sexual assault memory...SKIP IF NEEDED**

She cringed internally as he ran his hands up and down her hips. Touching was usually a no for her, but she needed the money. They paid more when she allowed them to take liberties with her body, made it feel as real as possible to them. She turned around, facing the door as she slid onto his lap, feeling his hardness against her butt. She grinded her hips down, feeling him lift up to press himself into her.

"Ooh yeah….thats it," he moaned into her ear. She kept her eyes on focused on the painted wood, the door. This was only for a few minutes. "Such a good girl."

She shivered, as she heard the words against her ear. That was what he had called her. A 'good girl'. His 'good girl' when he took an innocence she didn't know she had; if she ever had it. Of course it was expected of her. She had to show she was grateful. They were allowing her in their house. Giving more than what the state had paid them for. Her rate had been nearly $30 a day. In Boston, that wasn't enough for a one bedroom apartment with food and utilities they had said. This was just a supplement. A little extra for giving her all they had.

And it was all she was worth. It was the only way she could live, even now.

Pretty blonde hair. Light eyes. A metabolism that kept her fit no matter what she ate. Men adored it. They gave her money for it. To see and touch her. She could remember nights where she would lie awake wishing she didn't look the way she did. IF she had been born with plainer features, or maybe if she could gain weight the way some others did, he wouldn't have wanted her. He wouldn't have creeped into her room at night. Invisibility was what she needed.

Emma counted down the last 5 seconds before she turned around in the man's lap and bounced in front of him, thrusting her breasts, which were sitting up thanks to a special bra, in his face. She shook her head several times, trying to remove the memory of how it had felt in his arms. It was only in her head. She wasn't a kid anymore. This man beneath her hadn't done her any harm. He was just a customer.

***end trigger warning for sexual assault**

She quickly stood and bent down in front of him, wiping the tears from her eyes while his own were trained on her ass. She backed up against him, letting him simulate whatever he needed in his mind. She felt a wave of nausea at the sounds of his grunts and moans as she backed up against his arousal. She felt a bit of relief as she heard the last song for this session heading into the final chorus. He was getting too worked up and she had no desire for have him finish near her.

***end heterosexual lap dance warning***

"mmmm," she falsely moaned, praying he didn't notice her red rimmed eyes. "I'm sorry our time is up, I was beginning to enjoy myself." She lied. She kept her voice low as she maneuvered his hand with a $20 bill into her bra where he could drop the tip.

"When don't have to stop," he said.

"Yeah…can't have you monopolizing all my time," she gave a sultry giggle to the end of her sentence, mentally rolling her eyes wondering why these men acted as if the women weren't paid actresses. She stood up, only to have him grab hold of her wrist. She couldn't help the flash of fear in her eyes as she turned to the patron. Would he not let her leave the room?

"I'm here next week too. Will you be working again," Emma let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

"We'll see." Hopefully the answer would be no. But if Jason knocked her off the schedule, she was going to have to make an appearance.

[SQ]

Emma stared at the ceiling of her living room/bedroom willing herself to nap. Ever since that night at the club, sleep had been nearly impossible. She was up with nightmares nearly every night. If it wasn't her replaying the events in her last foster home, it was Henry being taken away from her by the state because she couldn't afford to take care of him; because she was a bad mother. In those dreams, nothing she did was good enough for him. She was immoral. She couldn't keep him in a good school.

She was home again on a Tuesday afternoon when she should have been at work. Jason had kicked her off the schedule again. August of course kept trying to switch days with her, out of concern, but Jason ignored him every time. It was if she was already in ground, but people like him weren't happy with her being that low, they needed to stomp her down even further. She wasn't sure how much she could take. Her job search was going absolutely nowhere. Every place she went wanted at least a high school education and they would turn her down with a look of pity. She didn't need their pity. She needed a job.

She was pulled from her musings by the sound of her phone vibrating. Package-R. Emma couldn't help but smile as the name flashed.

Hey. I should have some time off next weekend. Still up for that weekend in Florida?

Emma still hadn't spoken to Henry or Ruby about going away for almost three days. There was no one else she could trust with her little boy, and Henry knew them well and should be okay. She had been a wreck the past week. With the stress increasing and increasing she was going out of her mind. She had to be able to count herself to make sure she and Henry were fine, but right now, she couldn't. She could barely function. There were times she was so deep inside her mind that she was forgetting the basics, like where Henry's bus stop was. She had to get away.

Sure. Should be fine. She was going to do this for herself.

Good. I'll call you later tonight to go through the details.

Emma threw the phone down without responding. Regina would call her.

She was exhausted. She was tired of crying every night, keeping it quiet to make sure Henry didn't hear her from the bedroom. Tired of her mind playing games on her. Even when she tried having a drink at night before bed, it didn't keep the thoughts from her head. She would have to talk to Granny and Ruby soon.

Emma looked at the clock. She still had over an hour till she had to head to the bus stop to get Henry.

Well no time like the present.

She left her apartment and knocked on her neighbors door lightly, keeping it low incase Granny was sleeping.

"Whats up chica?" Ruby asked as soon as she saw Emma at the door. "I didn't think we were watching the kiddo today."

"No. You aren't. I'm off. But I was wondering if you could watch him next weekend."

"Shouldn't be a problem. When?"

"Um," she stumbled stuffing her hands into her jeans pocket. "All weekend actually. Like from Friday evening to late Sunday night."

"What?"

"Yeah." Emma shrugged and tried to summon a grin as Ruby glared at her suspiciously. The brunette glanced off to the side before abruptly pulling Emma into her apartment and shutting the door.

"Spill."

"What do you mean?"

"Is this about that guy you've been seeing?"

"What guy? I'm not…" Emma didn't get a chance to finish her sentence before Ruby raised a hand.

"Don't lie to me Emma. I know you are seeing someone," the lanky dancer crossed her arms and glared at the single mother. "I know your schedule. You've been staying out later on Friday nights. You asked for personal time which you haven't taken since I've known you. You have a brand new phone and Henry's been attached to that tablet. Also I know when your EBT card is filled and you went and bought several groceries toward the end of the month last month. I didn't say anything because it's not my business but…don't stand here and ask me to watch Henry for an entire weekend and then tell me you aren't seeing anyone."

Emma's jaw nearly dropped. Regina helped her out that one time when she mentioned that her card had somehow not been filled properly. She had also been very careful. She and Regina never met at each other places. She usually tried to meet her driver a couple of blocks away.

"Well…I…I'm not exactly seeing anyone. Were just friends."

"Friends…"

"Yes friends…with…ya know"

"A fuck buddy?" Emma exhaled and leaned against the door. If she were to be honest that's all she and Regina were. They were friends who fucked. Nothing more.

"Yeah I guess."

"Oh okay. Well how come I've never met him. He should come by sometime."

"It's not like that. We're keeping it private." When Ruby continued staring, she exhaled. "My friend is...kind of…like…well...important. And we don't want anyone finding out we know each other. If it gets out it could mess things up."

"Important?"

"Yes important, as in an important job. Works at a big company somewhere downtown in a really high position. I can't say more, but I've googled enough to understand why it has to be kept under wraps."

"Rich?"

"Yes."

"So you've been sneaking around the last few months, sleeping with some anonymous rich guy who's been buying you some gadgets yet won't actually meet any of your friends." Ruby paused. "Emma are you insane?"

"Wha-"

"You're some pricks mistress?"

"Is not like that Ruby. Were friends!" Emma was thrown back as Ruby laughed. She let out a genuine laugh that was tinged with pity.

"Emma, people like us aren't friends with people like that. They don't become our friends. He is hiding you because he is ashamed of you. He is fucking you and keeping you hidden, giving you little tokens to keep you around." Emma didn't say anything. "Let me guess, he won't even eat in a restaurant with you. He invites you up to his room. Probably threw you some line about privacy?"

Emma's face answered the question.

"Emma baby….you aren't his friend. He's using you." Emma turned her head and looked down not able to stand the look of sympathy her friend gave her.

"What if I'm okay with that?"

"What? No way Em'"

"No, Ruby, I'm ok with it. Yes there is a weird power play here, but what if I am okay with that. What if I like the fact that I get things? I like the good food and nice hotel rooms. What's wrong with that?"

"It's wrong because he's using you and you are worth more than a nice lay."

"Well right now that's what I'm getting. The sex is good and I get to experience things I've never been able to."

"Okay well then he needs to step up and be a real sugar daddy then. Demand more."

"What the hell?"

"Seriously. If he is this rich prick who wants a friend with benefits you deserve more. Make him pay your bills and hell, get more. Get me an new iPhone"

"I'm not that kind of girl Ruby. I don't want a sugar daddy. We're just friends."

"So he gets to fuck you and keep his appearance and you get what? A dinner in a fancy hotel room once a week? Not only are you letting him use you, you are letting him use you cheaply? Really?" Emma turned around feeling herself getting angry. She had to remind herself that Ruby didn't know Regina. Didn't know anything about how they met, or what their agreement was. Ok sure Regina was rich and didn't want anyone to know about Emma, but it wasn't because of Emma. It was because of Regina right? Because she was in the closet.

"So…what you don't think I should go on this trip?"

"Emma, listen to yourself. You really wanna be one of those girls? The kind that thinks there worth being a hidden fuck toy to the elite. That as long as they buy you a trinket here and there its okay?"

"I need this vacation. You've seen the stress I've been under lately and I'm being offered an all expense paid weekend to Miami. You saying I should reject that on some moral ground of sticking it to the man? I'm a fucking stripper Ruby, I don't have much moral ground."

"Being a stripper is different. It's a job that gives you a certain about a money. You aren't sleeping with them. Hell you are basically this guy's prostitute!" Emma stopped whatever words were coming out of her mouth and Ruby hit the point she had been afraid of. Is that what she was to Regina? She had been worried that their arrangement had been akin to that...but Regina didn't treat her like a prostitute. They talked. They got to know each other. Yes they had sex and yes Regina paid for everything, but….they were friends…right?

"Look I just need this Ruby. I need these three days. I need to get away."

"I know…"

"No! You don't fucking know!" Emma screamed at her closest friend. "You don't fucking know how tired I am! I am so fucking tired of it all. I am tired of being strong every single God damn day when I feel like falling out." Ruby just didn't get it. Emma could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. Yes, Ruby had her grandmother, but she wasn't forced to keep up a front of stability in front of Granny. Granny was an adult. She knew the stresses and if Ruby wanted to sit and breakdown, the old woman would understand it. Emma couldn't do that with Henry around.

She was sick of it. She was sick of being looked at like another ghetto baby mama everywhere she went. She was sick of worrying about paying the next bill and worried about whether she was falling into lifestyle her foster mother told her she was. But most of all she was sick of faking it every day. She was sick of putting on a god damn front and acting like everything was fine when it wasn't. She was sick of doing every wrong and nasty, but legal thing she could think of to strange men, just to do right by her son.

"I just….," she slid down onto the floor, her head in her hands, tears flowing down her face. "I can't keep going Ruby. I can't…I can't take it anymore."

"Oh God, Emma."

"I know t-that….I know that I am nothing more than a warm body for he-him. But when I am with him I feel as if I am more. I don't remember my stresses. So if I am a hooker than I am. I'm a hooker, not for dinner or things, but for the feeling of being important. For feeling like I matter. When I'm with him….I don't feel like the trash that I am."

"You are not trash Emma. You aren't." the skinny brunette sat down on the floor and pulled the blonde into her arms. "You are an amazing and resilient woman and a great mother."

"I just…I want a good day. I want to go 24 hours without feeling pain. And when…when…when were together…"

"Go."

"What?" the blonde looked up.

"Go. Have your good days and we'll look after Henry."

"But you said that…"

"I know what I said," Ruby huffed. "Look, I don't know about this secret friend you have. I don't trust it, but if he makes you feel better, if only for a little while, then I say you go for it. Take this vacation and come back refreshed and ready to continue working and fighting for your little guy." Emma looked into the blue eyes and saw no judgement. She saw no sarcasm or malice. Unable to form words, she pulled the skinny woman close and hugged her as tight she as she could, her tears staining the red tee shirt Ruby was wearing.

"T-Th-Thank you," she whispered, leaning her head back onto the brunette's shoulder.

"Anytime sweetie," Ruby pressed a kiss to the top of the blondes head. She hoped she didn't regret aiding Emma in going on this trip. Whoever this guy was…she just didn't see this ending well.

[SQ]

Whew! Okay well next chapter will be less angsty...and Regina will be back. Review please!