… aboard the Finalizer...

"You smell like a trash compactor. Still shiny though. How do you do that…?" I grinned up at Phasma as I slipped passed her. "Oh what? You didn't think you'll get to leave me behind, did you?"

If I didn't know better – which I didn't, not with the helmet obstructing my view of her face – I would be almost tempted to believe she was relieved to see me boarding the ship. Well, she seemed to be the only one.

"Is that blood?" I said, turning my attention to Hux who was clearly less than delighted to see me again.

"Not mine."

I didn't even try to hide my disappointment at those news. "Whose is it then? Oh what? Is that above my clearance…?"

He didn't answer. Something about the way he didn't answer gave me an idea about who's been bleeding around here, though. My smile only grew wider.

"So… we're evacuating. I'm going to take that as a sign that we're about to lose our doomsday weapon," I said enjoying the look on his face those words provoked. "Do you need me to break the news to Darth Ben…?"

Neither of them answered. Something about my cheerfulness in the face of such destruction probably made them dismiss everything I just said as words of someone on the edge of hysteria. "Well, if you change your mind I'll be over there," I said and walked over to the nearest uncomfortable flat surface that would definitely not pass as a chair anywhere civilized. I quietly cursed the First Order and their weird repressed culture. They didn't even allow us comfy chairs...

I sat down and waited for something to happen. Judging by the noises coming from the outside all manner of interesting things were going on dangerously close by. I was almost sorry I wasn't seeing them. All that left me with was looking in the direction of the general doing my best impression of the evil glare he so excelled at - but it wasn't as satisfying as I thought it would be. And then there was Phasma, joining me here in the uncomfortable chair territory.

"You need to stop saying things like that. He's going to remember it," she said with just a trace of an emotion I didn't quite have the time to identify.

"Oh, let him. It's not as though he was a fan before. And he might actually let me do it. Talk to Mister force-makes-me-better-than-the-rest-of-you. It would be excusable - we're all having a pretty stressful day here, after all. No one will blame him for it. I know I won't. I'd love that, actually – high time I had some face-to-face with Darth..."

"This is going to be a long journey," she said, cutting me off before I got too far in my monologue. She sure sounded like she was having a stressful time of it. This really was a day for Stormtroopers to surprise me with being a lot more human than they first appeared.

"A journey? So we're not just evacuating? Oh don't tell me we're going on a road trip," I grinned and sunk deeper into my chair.

It was only then that it occurred to me I had no idea where we were headed. And though Phasma might have told me if I bothered to ask, I decided I'd prefer it to be a surprise. Who knew – maybe we were off to see the Emperor. A normal, human-sized Emperor. Yet another scenario that would offer me a perfect chance to get myself killed. There was no way I'd be able to keep to myself any comment about over-compensating when it came to his holographs.

I started humming to myself. An old, haunting melody I believed was known as The Imperial March. Hux immediately started glaring at me. I wondered if anyone ever told him there was more than one facial expression.

"If you want to say something just say it," I said with a smile that was bound to piss him off even further.

"There are escape pods on this vessel. Take one and…"

"Can't fly," I said stopping him before he got too hopeful about the chances of being rid of me.

"Not my problem."

I laughed.

Couldn't help it. It wasn't a hysterical laughter either. I was finding all this genuinely amusing. "I'm not going anywhere. Not when I have the front row seat to see all this," I grinned. "I mean look at you. You must feel pretty much the way I felt ever since I was told I'll be joining up the First Order. And I was taken from my home, my family, the sky… But you know, I have the feeling that before this is all over things will get a lot worse. And I am going to be there. I'm going to watch and enjoy every second of it. If it ever goes so far that you try to end it I'll be there. I'll be the person that will confiscate your weapon, because after all you've done you don't get to take the easy way out."

He stopped glaring and just watched me trying to figure out where was all this quiet fury coming from. "We had reasons for keeping you alive all this time, though I can't really seem to recall any right now. Keep using that tone with me and I might decide you have outlived your usefulness..."

"Oh well," I shrugged, not giving a damn about his not-so-subtle threats. If that was the case, then I was going to speak my mind even louder than before. "You know, I thought it was mainly about Ren, what with Skywalkers being just the worst. But if I'm being honest with myself... I really want to see you suffer. There it is. There's just something about you that makes me wish I had my blowtorch on me," I said with a smile that must have instantly made me look like the most evil person in the vicinity. Quite an achievement considering who else was in this room with me.

"What the hell was he thinking when he told us not to shoot you…?"

"Why don't we go ask him?" I said brightly and got up to my feet. "The timing is just about perfect. I bet he could do with a distraction."

I didn't bother waiting for an answer, just begun walking in the direction the smell of antiseptics and beeps of med droids were coming from. Which is why it freaked the hell out of me when I realized he actually followed me.

"Are you suicidal?" he hissed, grabbing my arm and forcing me to stop.

"Yes. Yes I am. Why is everyone so surprised by that? Just what did you people expect will happen after what you did to me…? Do you imagine I carry around this inner reserve of will to live? I don't. I'm human. We're pretty damn fragile when it comes right down to it. And why the hell am I trying to explain this to you? You're a lost cause if I ever saw one," I said with anger that had a lot to do with Elsa and very little with him. "Now where's that damn Sith…"

I stopped talking. Judging by the look of malicious amusement that just lit up his face that damn Sith was standing right behind me. I did the only thing I could in that situation. I turned around very slowly.

"Oh wow… that's one impressive scar."