Raven tapped the end of her pen against the piece of paper on her desk, hoping that the words she wanted to write would magically appear on the couple of pages she'd ripped out of the diary Beastboy had given her so long ago. Even though the thought was foolish and she knew it was foolish, she still had yet to write anything

Even though she'd sat down half an hour ago, everytime Raven touched the tip of the pen to the paper, she hesitated. Even after all this time, she was still afraid to tell Robin how she felt. Maybe, if she had told him earlier, she wouldn't be in this situation.

But months and months ago, she had been afraid too. She'd never planned on love. Never planned on living long enough to fall in love with anyone, never planned on falling in love with someone she was going to be around 24/7. Never planned on losing that love to another, either. Raven was starting to realize that she'd been given so many opportunities to tell him how she felt, and that she'd passed on so, so many opportunities to ask for his love. But she was never good at dealing with emotions.

Her entire childhood had been built around controlling them, stuffing them into tiny pockets or sealing them away completely if need be. The closest she normally came to showing any amount of emotion was through sarcasm, whether in or out of battle. But nothing good had ever come of her showing emotion; losing control due to fear, feeling upset at their missing teammates, letting anger get the better of her… it almost always ended in her friends and any nearby objects were injured or destroyed.

So to suddenly be feeling an emotion that was commonly described as the most powerful feeling one could possibly experience… it was no wonder she was clueless how to act.

Until now.

That was, if she could work past the fear. Even though she'd decided to tell him her thoughts and feelings through a written medium, the idea that Robin would read this and know how she truly felt still made her hands shake and caused her chest to tighten up. Part of her was sad at feeling fear telling Robin, of all people, the truth. There was once a time when she would've happily told him anything if he'd asked.

It was because deep down, Raven knew that once she told Robin everything, things would change. And she hated change. Her daily routines may not change, the villains certainly wouldn't stop attacking, and her friends weren't going anywhere anytime soon. But things would change between her and Robin. How long would the awkward encounters last, the uncomfortable silences and never making eye contact because of the shame eating away at her? How long would she have to avoid speaking to him unless it was absolutely necessary?

And how long until the news spread to the others, to Starfire and Beastboy and Cyborg and Titans East and all the other honorary Titans? How long would she have to endure pitying looks and the "You can talk to us" from her friends? She didn't want pity. She didn't want things to change.

But things had already changed, Raven realized, so long ago when Robin and Starfire had first declared their love for each other in Tokyo.

She finally realized what had to be done. Things had changed, and she needed to change too. The pain was eating away at her, and if she stayed, one day Raven would end up bitter and full of hatred, leading an unfulfilling life, questioning why she bothered to continue at all. The only way to free herself was to escape.

She picked up the pen and started writing. The words started flowing freely after that. A couple of tears fell from her cheeks onto the paper as she wrote, but she wiped her eyes and continued, trying her best to explain why she was leaving, that she didn't hate him or Starfire, and that maybe one day, if they ever met again, they could friends once again.

As she stood and folded the letter, there was a part of her that was already telling her that she was being foolish. What about the villains? More importantly, how far would she get before Robin and the others started searching for her? Even if Robin didn't know how to respond to her confession, even if he never told the others that Raven loved him, Beastboy and Cyborg and Starfire wouldn't want their friend to leave.

Raven pushed those thoughts of her mind. They had all saved her life, so many times, not only from villains in the midst of battle, but from the weight of Trigon's prophecy as well. Shouldn't she be the one to decide what happened with it? She wanted to be happy, and staying here wouldn't grant that wish.

~Hollow~

Looking around her now barren room, she sighed. Putting everything into an easily accessible hammerspace she created with her magic had taken a lot out of her.

Well, not everything was gone. The one thing she'd left behind was the picture Robin had taken with her, one she'd framed and kept on her nightstand. The good memory he promised had remained intact, but looking at it just reminded Raven of something she could never have.

It was dark out. Before she put her clock away, it had read a little past 10. She'd spent a little while packing, so now it had to be closer to 11, possibly later. After a quick internal debate, she decided not to stay another night. If she wanted to put distance between herself and the Titans, it would be best to move as soon as possible, instead of waiting.

She left her communicator, the picture, and the papers on her bed. Once the others realized she was missing from the Tower, the first place they'd go is her room. A part of her was worried that someone other than Robin would find the note, but ultimately, Raven realized that she would be gone when the truth was revealed, so it wouldn't matter either way.

Exiting her room and heading to the roof, she stepped out into the cool night air. It was getting close to winter, and she pulled her cloak tighter around herself as the wind whipped around her. For a moment, she stood still and closed her eyes, before ascending into the air and flying towards Jump City.

The first step in her plan was to get clear of California. Once she got to Nevada, she'd stop and rest.

And after that, Raven would take it one day at a time.

~The End~