… the Ileenium System, some time later…

"We need to talk about this…" said Freya in a tone I would expect from my mom. Except she knew better than to try to parent me…

"Define this. This habit I have of making everything around me work…?" I said, not taking my eyes off the components spread on the floor around me. "This incredible contribution I'm making to the war effort? Because guess what – everything works around here now."

"Yeah. Everything works," said Freya in a tone that let me know she was giving me time to figure something out for myself. I sighed and put down the calcinator I was glaring at for five minutes now.

"Why are you saying it like it's a bad thing?"

"Because I know how you are when everything works. When there's nothing left to fix," she said with a frown, "and you have suddenly all this time on your hands. And you turn… well, thorny. Except more."

"Your point?"

Freya sighed and sat down on the ground, with the pile of faulty electronics between me and her. "You can be pretty unbearable. And demoralizing. I didn't mind the idea of you being that way to the First Order, but these are the good guys and they're dealing with a lot even without you being… What? What did I say?"

I wanted to answer her, but I found one of my hands was covering my mouth, making the movement automatically as though I somehow suspected I might begin screaming in the next second or two. I didn't. It was pretty close though. "Oh… of course…"

"What just happened?" said Freya, making no secret of how much I was freaking her out.

"I… I think I know why he just let me go," I said and realized I was smiling in a distant, dreamy way. I was going to get angry about it very soon, but for now – for as long as the initial shock kept me numb – I was simply amused. Amazed. Both.

"Are you going to tell me?" asked Freya after she gave me all the time with my own thoughts she was willing to spare me.

"I am demoralizing, aren't I?" I said, still unable to get rid of that astonished smile. "I am exactly the kind of person that shouldn't be here, pointing out we're underdogs and have no hope of winning this war…"

"Yes," confirmed Freya, clearly not seeing where I was going with this.

"That… frakking…" I said clenching my fists to prevent myself to go all Kylo Ren on everything in my line of sight. "He tried to weaponize me."

"You already are weaponized, thorny."

"Yes, but… I think it might be his twisted idea of psychological warfare. And the worst part is that it would absolutely work… But he didn't know about you," I said with a chuckle that sounded just a touch hysterical to me. "He didn't know he was sending me back to my family. If he did I would never make it out of that ship alive."

"Come on, now," said Freya, clearly having some trouble believing it. "I know hating that guy is your only hobby these days, but…"

"He didn't just want to be rid of me. He wanted to harm the Resistance at the same time… I mean who even thinks like that?" I said, getting up to my feet. I felt like pacing. I needed to do something about all this energy suddenly surging through me and I refused to take the Kylo Ren route. I might be mad, but I refused to be break-some-equipment kind of mad. "You know, this makes things so much worse… If it was just that I'm, you know... all the things I am... I think I would be alright with that. There are days when I'd throw myself out of the airlock just to shut me up, and I am me. But this is just..."

"Evil?" guessed Freya. "I mean if you're right it would be one evil plan."

"Yeah. No. I think we need a new word for him – evil just doesn't really do the trick," I said as I kept pacing.

I was weaponized all right. It wouldn't take a whole lot to set me off in the state I was in right now… "I feel like calling grandma to deal with you, but I'm also pretty sure I shouldn't leave you alone when you're like this," said Freya as she watched me pace.

"I'm fine actually," I said and stopped.

The fact that I wasn't lying surprised even me, though this was something I really should have seen coming. "This is… better. Better than what I was doing since I came here. At least now I can stop wondering. And fixing things. Because you're right, I was running pretty low on things to do," I gestured towards the pile I've been dealing with when she came in. "I was taking inventory for the last ten hours. I was going to volunteer for the med bay next, because fixing machines and fixing people can't really be that different, right?"

"I'm almost scared to ask what are you going to do instead of fixing…" said Freya. And seeing my evil, evil smile she didn't even finished that thought.

… later that day…

"What do you mean we can't just do that? We know their frequencies – how hard is it to send them a message…?" I said, feeling like grabbing this communication officer and shake him out of his current attitude.

"What did we say about keeping our tone civil…?" said grandma chidingly. I turned to her with did-that-tone-ever-work-on-me look that made her sigh with exasperation. "Thorny, why don't you go wait outside while I take care of this?"

She was probably right about that being my best course of action.

That didn't mean I managed to leave without one last glare aimed at the poor rebel who didn't know that no is not a word he wanted to use in my presence. Ever.

"I'd tell you not to terrorize my staff, but I suspect it would be pointless," said general Organa when I almost walked into her on my way out.

"That's what I've been sent here to do," I said automatically. "I mean… I'm sorry. But they did tell you I was emotionally compromised, right? Someone must have put that in a memo or something. Also I'm not doing a great job of hiding it."

"Would you like to talk about it?" she said kindly, almost disarming me right there.

"No. I'd like to yell about it – and I will, just as soon as they patch me through to the First Order…"

Judging by her smile I must have said something very amusing. I sighed, trying to let go of my barely suppressed anger. It didn't quite work, but then I didn't expect it to. All I could really hope for was bringing my voice down to some more reasonable volume. "I just… I want him to know how spectacularly his evil plan failed. It would make me feel a lot better, you know? I can be back to my usual sweet and cuddly self."

She openly laughed at that one and that helped a little. "I'm sorry," I said again. I've been using those words with her a lot now that I thought of it. "It's just that I know it will ruin his day to know how badly he screwed up…"

"And it will make your day to tell him."

"Well, yes… that too," I admitted, smiling a little. "I know we fight for bigger, ideological reasons and all that. I've been trying to keep that in mind, but… that's just not going to work. To me this is personal. You get it."

"Thorny…" called grandma from her communication console, before the general could answer. Not that she needed to. She did get it. She was about the only person around here who took all this more personally than me.

"I won't give you a headache with the details, because it will take a lot of doing to get the message to the First Order. You just go ahead and record it now, alright? You need the catharsis," she said as she gestured for me to sit down.

"Thanks, gran," I said softly. And then I was alone in the room. Just me and my white-hot anger to keep me company. "Right. Let's do this…"

And then I just sat there for whole five minutes, saying absolutely nothing. It was a case of having so much to say I simply didn't know where to start. Of course I should have gone with the half-genuine thanks for reuniting me with my family which wouldn't just tell him he screwed up big time, but also made everyone else who might come across my message wonder if he perhaps didn't have a heart after all. That would end his carrier pretty quickly, considering how the First Order felt about that kind of thing. It would be the perfect revenge…

So why was I sitting here in silence, not saying any of it? "Let's do this," I repeated and leaned over the keys with a half-formed plan.

I wasn't going to just sit here talking to myself hoping it might get to him one day. That wasn't what I needed. I just had to figure out how to do this without announcing my current location... Which proved to be quite a headache of a technical problem. But there was nothing I couldn't do when I was sufficiently motivated. And I felt very motivated.

… some time later, in a faraway corner of the galaxy…

"Did you miss me?"

"No."

"Didn't think so. Just calling to let you know your evil plan failed. I mean it backfired so spectacularly… Let me put it this way. Not an hour after I've been ordered to get into that escape pod I was getting a hug from my grandma. I know, right? What a coincidence that the ship that picked up my distress signal was full of my relatives. Care to guess what made them joint the Resistance?"

"What do you want?"

"Oh I just got it. The look on your face. Priceless. But it gets better… I've been a real asset to the Resistance ever since I showed up. General Organa said – and this is a quote – that they'd be lost without me. So much for me demoralizing the hell out of your enemies. Anyway. That's enough about me. How are you? And how's Phasma? Still shiny?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Reminding me I made the right call getting rid of you."

"You're not rid of me. Don't ever think that. Actually I have a feeling we'll be seeing each other again very soon. The Resistance is very interested in getting their hands on you."

"The Resistance is…"

"Understaffed and underfunded and probably a bunch of other things on top of that. But they did manage to blow up your favorite toy. Now what does that say about the First Order?"

"Are you done?"

"Almost. Just one last thing…"