Eien no Shasai
Hansei
Reflection
Sasuke awoke much later, his whole body feeling itchy. He pulled off the oxygen mask and breathed in natural air with a deep sigh.
What had happened?
His shoulder smarted with a sharp pain and his fingers brushed against thick gauze.
Ah that's right, Kakashi had sealed their marks.
He glanced over at the other bed in the room, a curtain drawn between them. He could hear the soft whir and beep of machines and knew his teammate lay there, still unconscious.
Getting to his feet unsteadily he walked over and slipped behind the curtain, deciding to check her status.
Tubes tangled around her, her eyes bandaged shut and an oxygen mask was stuck over her face. The rise and fall in her chest looked strained and artificial and the monitors showed various details from her heart rate and blood pressure to things Sasuke didn't understand. Bags of fluid were hooked up above her, dripping steadily into her body.
She had been in a bad way since the forest; he shouldn't be surprised that she needed more medical care than he did.
He took a seat by her bed wearily his fingers brushing over the back of her hand. It was icy cold like he expected, whispering a façade of death.
"What now?" Sasuke found himself muttering.
What was next with the Chuunin exams? Would she be able to continue? What of the others, the rest of his team?
"Ah! You're awake Uchiha-san!" A medic (or maybe a nurse, he wasn't sure) gasped, rushing over. Sasuke glared at the noise but stopped, noticing it made his headache worse.
"How long was I…"
"Oh only a few days, I'm surprised you're up and about so quickly!"
"And she hasn't woken up yet?" he enquired. Kari healed at a faster rate than him but had more extensive injuries. Even so, he was surprised that stupid stubborn streak had not forced her awake yet.
"Well she woke up soon after you both came here but she was caught in an accident so now she's sedated," the medic explained.
"Accident?" Sasuke echoed, eyes snapping up to lady's face.
"She got involved in one of the fights when it turned nasty," the medic explained and Sasuke's face darkened. He could see his stupid bull-headed teammate doing that. It wouldn't surprise him if Naruto had done the exact same thing.
"How bad was the damage?"
As her team-mate he had rights to her medical information, especially as she was without a family. Unless Kakashi had requested for him not to be told, he could get the basic information on Kari's health.
"Well," the medic fidgeted. He decided she was a nurse; she hadn't the composure of a medic-nin. "She had a trauma to the heart so it was touch and go for a little while but she seems to get more stable day by day."
The artificial machines keeping her heart and lungs in check suggested otherwise to the Uchiha. A trauma to the heart? Of course she'd jump in the middle of something so serious, the idiot.
"Ah, I see Sasuke's awake," Kakashi said, poking his head around the door. "Thank you, I'll take it from here."
"O-oh! Um well if you could make sure Uchiha-san gets back into bed before you leave?" she asked and Kakashi smiled behind his mask and nodded.
"So what's the real story?" Sasuke asked as Kakashi took the other seat by Kari's bed and felt her forehead under her bangs. He could feel the buzz of her chakra working under his palm and was relieved to see the monitors were not as erratic as before.
"Pretty much that, she sensed a lethal attack and went diving in to stop it," Kakashi said with a soft sigh. "She was barely conscious a moment before it but as soon as she sensed the bloodlust she was gone."
"Idiot," Sasuke murmured.
"Aa, I'll have to agree there," Kakashi said quietly, laying a hand over hers. "Always cold."
"Who was fighting?"
"The two Hyuuga," Kakashi explained and Sasuke's face soured.
"Her precious senpai?"
"She's managed to stabilise and that's the important part," Kakashi said, redirecting the conversation away from whom to blame.
"And what next for the exams?" Sasuke asked.
"You've been entered into another tournament, it's in a month's time."
"Who am I against?"
"The boy from Suna."
Sasuke looked surprised but then a smirk fell into place as he looked forward to the challenge.
"And her?"
"I've requested she be removed," Kakashi explained and Sasuke frowned.
"She won't be happy with that."
"She's against another boy from Sound, the brother of the one she fought in the preliminaries. Hokage-sama has requested that we wait and see if she recovers in time. If she's able to say that she wants to take part, I can't stop her," Kakashi said darkly, squeezing the hand under his.
"You're too soft on her," the Uchiha said quietly and Kakashi resisted the urge to scold his pupil. Sasuke didn't understand how close she had come to death. He found her urge to protect at any cost stupid but didn't see how self-destructive it was.
"You need to rest Sasuke," Kakashi said as he watched the boy's eyes struggling to stay open. "We can begin training when you have healed. In the meantime, watch over her and make sure she doesn't do anything else 'stupid'."
-X-
Kari sat in the ankle deep water with a sigh, listening to the splashing creature giggle and try to coax her into playing chase. She had been through this dream previously and knew there was no catching that phantom and was too exhausted to try.
"You almost died."
Kari hummed as the giggles turned into a voice, lilting but accusing.
"You nearly killed us."
"It was to protect a friend," she said tiredly. She knew the others would have the same accusations, the same questions. She could almost hear Sasuke calling her stupid.
"You don't have friends. You don't have a family."
"I am making one," Kari retorted.
"The Hyuuga have turned against each other and you got in their way, they hate you. You always get in the way. Haku didn't want you to get involved either. You got in the way of Sasuke's fight with the snake man too and look what happened there, you didn't protect him from being bitten, only made a burden for your team for the rest of the task."
"I have to protect them, Hinata would have died," Kari defended.
"How do you know she didn't? You didn't save Haku."
Kari folded her knees to her chest and held them. What if it wasn't enough? What if Hinata was…
"Dead?"
"Stop it," Kari growled and her subconscious laughed.
"You're just in the way, you're destroying the dynamic of Team Seven, and teams are only meant to be of three. You're invading team practices to bother your 'friends'. Kakashi is burdened with you. Kita was stolen from her family to be with you."
Kari's heart squeezed painfully.
"You are why Sasuke and Naruto fight. You are why Sakura is pushed aside."
She tried to find an argument but the more she tried, the louder and clearer the voice became and the more she could see where it was coming from.
"You don't fit. Wouldn't it be better if you just… disappear?"
Kari sat in the dark room in the pool of shallow water and listened to the whispers of her failures, wanting nothing more than to find her way back into the light.
-X-
Kari felt herself come to consciousness with a shock of pain. Not for the first time, it felt like she had an elephant sitting on her chest, although apparently this time it was on fire. The room was dull suggesting night-time and she managed to wiggle up to a sitting position, breathing wheezily.
Having learned from her previous mistakes, she shut off the machine with the right button and pulled her oxygen mask over her face. It hurt to breathe, her chest burned. Everything ached horribly.
She just wanted to go outside, being shut in a room wasn't pleasant after a very long dream being stuck in one.
She unhooked her fluid bags; pleased to see she was at least off the blood bag now and down to painkillers and what she assumed was rehydration fluids.
Her fuzzy legs led her out of the room and managed to navigate her out of sight of the medics doing their rounds. Her heart led her into a room where she found a small face with a shock of dark hair fast asleep under an oxygen mask.
"Oh Hina," Kari said sadly.
'Failed,' her subconscious whispered in glee and Kari's eyes burned with shame. She had taken Hinata's progress and strength and overshadowed it with her need to be in the middle of things.
She was angry at Neji but he usually never lost his temper. He lashed out when Hinata said he was suffering. How long had he been suffering and she hadn't known?
'You should hate him for attacking her, lash out, hurt him!'
Kari's cold sadness washed away the flickers of anger. Neji had asked her to quit three times, he hadn't gone in to the match with the intention of killing her.
'You should have known they were in pain, you could have stopped this. It would have been so easy what with how you love to get involved with things that don't concern you. You failed them.'
At once the room was too small and the beep of Hinata's machines were ringing in her ears. Kari's tears overflowed and she escaped out of the window and into the night.
-X-
"Of course she escaped," Sasuke said irately as he looked at the unmade bed, empty of the patient who was supposed to be stuck to it for, what was it, 'a few months' as the medic had said.
With her little invincibility complex she was still far too injured to have gone far.
"Stupid," Sasuke hissed venomously as he forced himself into a change of clothes. He was sore and drained and could do with another day before he head after Kakashi. Really he could do with a good week to recuperate but there was training to do and his enemy was strong. He didn't have time to go looking for stupid teammates.
Deciding that the medics would bring her back to the room if she were still in the hospital, Sasuke head out to seek Kakashi.
-X-
"Are you waking up, dear?"
Kari's eyes fluttered and she found herself on a soft bed, warm under soft covers. A young woman with a kindly face sat at her side, pushing Kari's overgrown bangs out of her face.
Mama?
Kari's heart squeezed painfully as the wishful word almost left her mouth.
"Where…?" Kari began tiredly and the woman smiled, resting her hand over Kari's.
"You were having a rest in the middle of the forest, it's not very safe for a young girl to do that," the lady explained. "You didn't look well so I brought you back here to rest. Did you have a rough mission?"
The kindness when Kari felt she didn't deserve it was really difficult for her to bear. She just wanted to burst into tears and cling to this woman but her pride wouldn't let her.
"Chuunin exams," Kari said quietly and the woman chuckled.
"Ah, now that does bring back memories."
"Ki-to-meeeee," a deep voice sang, the door bursting open with a bang as a broad man who filled the room with his presence strolled in, depositing some bags on a table in the next room. Kari peeked through the open door to try and get a look at him while the woman sighed fondly.
"Forgive my husband, he's rather boisterous and energetic," explained the lady that Kari now assumed was called Kitome.
"Kitome!" the man called, poking his head in several rooms before he found the right one. "Ah! We have a guest!"
The blood drained out of Kari's face and the couple looked at her worriedly.
"Are you alright dear?"
"Shoot, did I interrupt something again?"
"Y-your ears…" Kari murmured and the man tried to look up, looking puzzled.
"Oh! I usually have a hat on when I'm out but it's a hot day. I can see how it's a bit strange but this is just a clan-"
"Wait!" Kari interrupted and the couple looked surprised. Kari pulled off the hitai-ate tied as a headband and let her wolf-like ears pop free.
"Oh! You have the ears too!" the man exclaimed excitedly, the large triangular ears on his head twitching. "I didn't know there was another Tasukaru in Konoha! Are you just visiting or-"
He stopped noticing her eyes had welled full of tears and panicked looking to his wife for advice.
"What's wrong?" she asked softly.
"Y-you have the same ears," Kari sniffled, floods of warm tears rushing down her face. "I have no memories and they said I have no family b-but y-y-your ears!"
And she broke down in an ugly sobbing mess.
She felt the warm slide of Kitome's arm coming around her shoulder to rub her back, soft reassurances being whispered in her ear that it must be so hard but they can explain as much as she needed but Kari could not stop crying.
-X-
"Oh so you're 'the girl who fell from the sky' that some people were chatting about a few months back," the man said with a nod offering her a cup of tea. It was sickly sweet but she found it comforting, her side warm against Kitome's where the woman had a comforting arm around her. "Well I've only seen those ears on my Ma's clan so at least you know we're related."
"It must be overwhelming, to manage this far on your own and then find your way to us," Kitome said kindly. "And to Kaizo-kun with all his clan features."
"I can ask around and see if we've had any kids go missing," Kaizo said thoughtfully. "You haven't got the colourings of a usual Tasukaru, we usually have white hair and blue eyes, so maybe your mum or dad was form another clan."
"Even half the picture would be more than I could hope for," Kari said in a small voice cradling her tea. The couple were kind but she felt out of her depth and wanted the reassurance of her sensei. Was this all just a dream? Her subconscious was certainly nasty enough to make up such a thing.
"Maybe we're cousins! You're a champ to manage sprouting those ears when you have no idea who your clan are, your team must have been surprised!"
"Delicacy isn't his strong point," Kitome said with a sigh as Kari blushed.
"What do you two do? Are you ninja?" Kari asked.
"We're ANBU!" Kaizo said excitedly, squeaking when Kitome kicked his foot. "Er… I mean… err…"
"Kaizo-kun, how many times must I remind you that ANBU is a secret?" Kitome said with an annoyed look. He smiled sheepishly. "This is why we live further out, my husband easily gets overexcited and admits things he shouldn't."
"Oh there's worse vices," Kaizo said simply with a wave of his hand. "The Tasukaru clan has its biggest foundation in Kiri, we used to live up in Yuki but there was more work for us in Kiri to make a living. Ma's twin took after her dad so is in another clan up in a mountain not too far from Kumo but she's all fire and temper."
"I'm from Yuki, that's where we originally met," Kitome explained. "Kaizo-kun came on a mission here as a genin and decided this loud and friendly village was perfect for him. I had moved here as a child and was part of a team. We then had our Chuunin exams at the same time and he decided that meeting across different countries was fate."
"And then I got her to marry me!" he declared proudly and she blushed a little. "It was a nightmare getting a transfer but old Hokage-sama is a sucker for love stories."
"That's so nice," Kari said feeling warm. She hoped she would have a love like that one day.
"Oh! I should call Luca so he can go ask the wolves what they know!" Kaizo cried, having been caught in his story. A large dark wolf appeared with a coat streaked of black, grey and silver. The canine glared up at his master in irritation.
"What now Kaizo?"
"Kita!" Kari gasped. "I need to find Kita-chan!"
In a puff of smoke the small wolf fell in Kari's lap.
"Okaa-san called Kita-chan? Kita-chan is here!"
They all stared blankly at the small white wolf cub that looked around the room in confusion.
"Okaa-san! Than man has ears like us! Okaa-san! That's a big Kita! Okaa-san! Where are we?" the wolf cried excitedly.
"Oh? So that's where the new pup went," Luca said in a deep gravelly voice. Kari immediately bundled Kita to her chest and glared at the wolf, daring him to try and take her. "Calm yourself cub, I'm not going to take her away."
"You're not?" Kari said in confusion.
"He is not!" Kita agreed.
"The Tasukaru-clan has a long history with the wolf summon. Apparently it goes back to the very clan's foundation," Kaizo explained. "Usually a cub is born around the same time as who it will bond with and then joins them when they are more active. Usually the wolf is full grown and the child is ready to go on adventures," Kaizo explained. "But it depends on when your wolf likes and accepts you as to when you get your contract," Kaizo grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head. "I was the longest in clan history to be without a set summon because Luca hated my guts for standing on his tail when I was two."
"It wasn't that, you were just whiney and clumsy," Luca snorted. "I wanted to support a warrior, not babysit a stupid crybaby."
"I was not!" Kaizo shrieked.
"You still are," the dark wolf said in distaste.
"So you know about Kita-chan? And you didn't come for her?" Kari asked suspiciously.
"A wolf is summoned when their partner is worthy or when they need them. It is odd that Kita is so young and that you are so old without a summon assigned," the wolf said suspiciously. "To have our alpha-female's cub no less, it is very intriguing."
Kari clutched Kita tighter to her.
"Didn't you hear me the first time? I'm not taking her from you," the wolf said irately.
"Huh? It's Shizuka's pup? The old-wolf is practically barren," Kaizo said in surprise, yelping when he was swatted by Luca's paw.
"Show respect will you, insolent boy!"
"From what I know, a wolf cub is conceived as it is supposed to be dependent on when its partner is," Kitome said softly. "Shizuka lost her last pup as we lost our child."
"Kitome," Kaizo said softly, surprised she was bringing up the miscarriage. It was a sore subject for them both that they had lost their child, even after many years.
"And now a girl with no memories appears with your Tasukaru features, with a wolf cub that came from the alpha who originally produced one for our unborn child…"
"What are you saying?" Luca growled.
"Kaizo, I think Kari-chan is the child, our child."
-X-
"Well she wasn't anywhere I expected her to be," Kakashi said with a sigh as Sasuke sat moodily upon the edge of a rock, waiting for Kari to be found so his training could begin. "I found Kita-chan and she said Kari had called her, so I assume she's alright."
"Can we get on with it then?" Sasuke snapped.
"Show concern for your teammate Sasuke," Kakashi scolded.
"She's being stupid. Stupidity doesn't deserve compassion."
-X-
"Your…?" Kari asked, her heart thundering in her chest.
"You arrived here with no memories on the anniversary of when we lost her, at the age she should be," Kitome said thoughtfully.
"Kitome, I think you're looking too much into this," Kaizo said sadly.
"You know what was sealed," his wife said, grey eyes flashing silver. "It's not impossible."
"Honey, it is. Chakra can't reverse death."
"Sealed?" Kari asked and they all fell silent, Luca staring at Kaizo ready to silence him.
"Kari-chan, I think it's best that we call your sensei before I make any more assumptions," Kitome said gently, her face tight with pain. "If I am wrong, it's cruel to you."
The young girl looked at the woman's face, the shape of her eyes, the delicate slope of her jaw, her small nose. Her eyes were desperately trying to match the features to her own. Feeling choked and more than a little sick, Kari gently stroked Kita's head and asked for her to fetch Kakashi for her.
"And now we wait," Luca said solemnly.
-X-
"Kari wants me?" Kakashi said as Kita managed to sniff him out. She panted, tired from the run and he scooped her up. "Is it serious?"
"I dunno!" Kita admitted between pants. "The nice Obachan and Ojichan said it was best to get you before they talk anymore. The big Kita is mean so Kita-chan doesn't wanna leave Okaasan on her own."
"The big Kita?" Kakashi repeated puzzled.
"Hai! The Kita of the man with ears like me and Okaasan!"
Kakashi paused, his sharp mind putting things together. It was faster and messier than he would have liked but maybe it was best Kari knew some of the truth now. He had promised after all, that if she survived he would tell her.
"Okay, I'll come now," Kakashi said and Sasuke stood. "Not you Sasuke, I have to assess the situation. Don't give me that look – go and rest, we'll start training tomorrow."
-X-
"Kakashi!" Kari cried as he popped his head around the door carefully.
"Oh! Kakashi-chan is your sensei!" Kaizo said excitedly. "I remember when he was only a wee little pup and used to – OW!"
"Kaizo-kun, we can embarrass Kakashi-kun later, please stay on task," Kitome scolded as Kaizo rubbed his thigh where Luca had nipped him.
"Kitome-san, Kaizo-senpai, it's good to see you," Kakashi said shutting the door behind him and heading to Kari's bedside. He deposited a snoozing Kita on her lap and let her snatch his hand, squeezing it tightly.
"I was due to pay you a visit," Kakashi said, waving a manila folder at them. Kitome took it from him and opened the file, reading through quickly. "I assume that you have gathered from Kari-chan's ears that she may be a Tasukaru?"
"Is," Luca the wolf interrupted in a gravelly voice. "Our wolf pack bonds with only the Tasukaru clan. Kita-ko is one of ours."
Kakashi nodded, alarmed at the size of the dark wolf. The top of his ears would easily hit his shoulder if he stood. Kita continued to snore happily, oblivious to being a defining factor in Kari's bloodline.
Kakashi felt his fingers being squeezed and resisted the urge to look at Kari, knowing he would be distracted if he saw the warring emotions on her face.
"Kaizo," Kitome said gently and he looked at his wife, ears perking. She held the file tightly, the stamp of classified private information bright against her fingertips. "It's true. Kari-chan is ours."
The air left Kaizo all at once and the blood drained from his face. His eyes turned glassy with tears.
"You're sure?"
"Her DNA matches both of us. They checked it multiple times because they didn't believe it. She has all the Tasukaru traits. She has my wings."
"Wings?" Kari asked and Kitome smiled and her in understanding.
"Although I was born in Yuki and then moved to Konoha, my mother was originally from Sora before it fell. The Sorano clan were known for having exceptional flexibility and the ability to morph part of their ribcage into wings. The weaker your genetic link, the more difficulty you have though. My wings are manageable but I could not fly at the speed and distance of my mother. Though you have shown wings in a high stress situation, it is unlikely you will be able to fly."
"I can't say I remember," Kari admitted embarrassed.
"It was only for a short time, Kari-chan," Kakashi explained. "It was at the same time as your Tasukaru features came to the surface. As you are half of each clan, your genes were dormant to begin with. But your fighting style hails from both clans; I did wonder when I've watched you in the past. When you sprouted ears and a tail, showed accelerated healing and cried blood I knew you were Tasukaru – I just didn't know the details."
Kari nodded, feeling the information overloading her.
"In terms of… what is sealed," Kakashi began nervously and Kitome nodded her assent as tears continued to fall from Kaizo's bowed head. "Have you heard of the Kyuubi?"
"That Naruto has?" Kari asked and Kakashi nodded.
"A few months before, a spirit had gone into a rampage, corrupted by a rogue shinigami," Kakashi explained. "The reaper spirit delighted in chaos and pain and had attached itself to a spirit of natural forces that affects the living things around it, the land, the sea, the sky. This spirit was linked to the chakra of our very world, separate from the tailed beasts that were moulded into what they were. Crops and plants wilted, animals and people became sick with plague, the rivers flooded, bush fires spread and lightning tore apart the sky. It's in the Academy textbooks as The Great Natural Disaster."
Kari nodded but didn't understand how rogue spirits applied to her.
"As disaster spread, the Sorano clan were approached, known for having a good relationship with a deity of health and fortune. The spirit was kind and agreed to help seal the spirit but the immense power required a high price of sacrifice to tame the rogue shinigami. The Sorano clan swore to surrender their wings and ties to the Gods and give their life force to strengthen the good spirit. The good spirit overpowered the dark and in the confusion the spirit of nature stopped its rampage. The Sorano could only seal into one of their own and as a small clan they could not seal the spirit into an adult with a fully developed Chakra system as it would overload and the person would die. The clan was too small to split the spirit into many. And so…" Kitome paused, seeming to find it difficult to go on.
"And so, they did a double seal. Kitome was carrying twins. The spirits were sealed into Kitome and into the unborn children. The shinigami demanded one final sacrifice and one of the twins was taken to spare the other," Kaizo filled in and they all bowed their heads.
"The pregnancy was difficult and the baby was very active with the extra space and the quickly developing chakra network. The kicks were quite painful but the baby would soothe when I sang or when Kaizo would touch the skin over my womb. We were on a routine sweep of the Konoha borders when someone attacked us."
Kitome lifted the shirt to reveal a crescent shaped scar low in her belly.
"Sword straight through the brain," Kaizo stated quietly.
"We buried our baby on October 21st," Kitome explained. "And that's the day you appeared, 12 years later. In the very forest we were attacked."
-X-
"How are you feeling?" Kakashi asked as the couple pottered around the living room to give them some space.
"It's a lot to take it," Kari said sullenly. "So many people died for me before I was even born. Was I even born?"
"It's a mystery," Kakashi admitted and she sighed. "But at least now you know where you came from, genetically at least."
"Kaizo-san said they have to leave for an ANBU mission tomorrow, I still have so many questions."
"I'm sure you do," Kakashi sympathised. "Unfortunately we don't really have any answers."
"I had been hearing voices when I was unconscious," Kari admitted and Kakashi looked at her sharply. "Saying about all my fears and insecurities." She looked up at Kakashi worriedly. "Kashi, is that the voice of the demon spirit or is that the voice of those I killed?"
"You didn't kill anyone Kari," Kakashi said firmly and her eyes fell to her lap where Kita was still fast asleep. "One of your clans gave themselves to protect the village, that is something you should be proud of. Your body keeps everyone safe."
"But for how long?" she whispered touching the seal on her neck. Kakashi's hand immediately covered hers.
"You have people here who love you and will help you, you don't have to face this all alone."
Her tears kept falling as her heart struggled to manage all the feelings rejoicing at having parents and mourning the family she had never had the chance to meet.