… in the Ileenium system…
"Nope. I'm good," I said when I glanced Freya in the doorway. She was the third person who tried to bribe me with a cup of chocolate. That's how uncomfortable I was making everyone with all this training after only a week of really overdoing it. My mom who spent years complaining about all the sugar I was stuffing myself with all the time just left half an hour ago after trying the same trick on me.
"Oh no," said Freya smiling into the cup in her hands. "Go get your own, this one's mine."
"So that's the evil plan you're going to go with? Just standing there drinking it as I…"
"… mutilate some furniture?" she finished for me. "I thought we told you to stick to punching bags. This is a rebellion. We don't have budget to replace what you break."
I didn't answer. I did look around to find what I broke this time, just in case she wasn't just messing with me. Because that storage compartment did look a little more angular last time I checked.
"Are you here to talk some sense into me?" I said, narrowing my eyes. But that didn't seem to be it, judging by her unconcerned expression.
"I'm here to watch. This is quite entertaining, you know… I mean look at you, all coordinated. I bet you sleep with a ray gun under your pillow now – and you can use it too."
"Correct on both accounts," I admitted, not seeing what the big deal was. I did say I was going to get combat ready. How were people not used to me doing exactly what I said I would by now…? It was my specialty after all. "Also everyone sleeps with a weapon under their pillow. That's just common sense. This is a rebel base. We can get surprise attacked at any moment. Grandma sleeps with a ray gun under her pillow."
"Oh, she did that long before we joined up," said Freya with a grin. I wasn't entirely sure she was wrong.
"So… what? Are you going to just stand there until I agree to take a break?"
"Of course not. I'm going to sit down," she said and headed for the comfiest chair in my room. I rolled my eyes. I didn't know what her plan was, but it was not going to work. I was not going to slow down, dammit. Why was it alright for all the magic orphans to disappear somewhere where their only job was to train, but when I tried it I was being antisocial…?
"So here's the funny thing. I somehow assumed you'll be wearing that expression. You know the one… the slightly evil look you get sometimes when you take a second to look at the stars and wonder whether your arch nemesis is doing the same right at that moment…"
"My arch nemesis…?" I said, making a face. "Really…?"
"Yeah. That's the term we agreed on during an emergency meeting you weren't invited to. You were too busy learning how to put your weapon together in the dark or something, anyway…" said Freya before taking a moment to have another sip of chocolate.
"Oh," I said, seeing what this was all about. "You don't actually mind, do you? Just checking I'm not doing this for some weird, twisted psychological reason."
"Someone should. Except everyone is so focused on you turning into this lethal weapon," she said with a vague gesture in my direction. "If I didn't know better I'd say that is by design. All one big misdirection. But that might be giving you too much credit."
"You forget – I am a weapon of psychological warfare."
"Says the sociopath in the charge of the First Order. Allegedly. We still don't know that's why he sent you back, you know… Maybe he just grew sick of your constant smartass comments," grinned Freya.
"Nah. He'd just shoot me if that was all there was to it..."
"Whatever. Not getting sucked into that conversation again. Your weird preoccupation with one of our enemies is between you and the psychoanalyst we definitely must get you."
"How dare you," I said, pretending to be offended by the very notion. "I am preoccupied with all of our enemies."
Freya just shook her head and finished her chocolate in one long swallow. "Yeah. In a very specific weird way for each one. I should probably judge you for it but… well, who knows if I didn't develop this particular syndrome if I spent three months stuck with them. Though I like to believe that my final judgement on Kylo Ren wouldn't be he just needs a hug."
"Last time I saw him he absolutely needed one, though," I shrugged. "And that's all I can recall anymore. Memory is a funny thing."
"Tell me about it. Every time I try to remember the fight you used to put up when someone tried to drag you out of bed before noon all I can see is you waking up your martial arts tutor at five in the morning because you didn't feel like waiting for your lesson to start… Not to mention you beating the crap out of him," she added, clearly having a hard time keeping her expression serious.
"That's on him. No one calls me my young padawan and gets to keep his teeth," I shrugged.
"I'm not criticizing, understand. I'm all kinds of impressed. After all, the sooner you feel battle ready, the sooner you stop weirding everyone out with all this training. It's not like you're the one who'll be involved in the big, upcoming this will decide the fate of the galaxy fight," pointed out Freya. "Someone else is already taking care of all that."
"That's not how this works and you know it. The fight you care about the most is the most important fight in the galaxy. It's hard to give much of a damn about Siths and Jedis, what with most of us never even having met any our whole life. I had one digging through my brain and I still don't give a damn about the balance of the force."
"I'm well aware what's the only thing you give a damn about," said Freya, shaking her head. "And if you want my opinion, you look more than ready to beat him senseless next time you run into him, so how about you slow down with the training."
"Not happening. Training is good for you. Gives you stuff to do while others are sorting out the galaxy… helps you focus on your breathing and stuff…"
"Oh, you know that when he told you to focus on your breathing he was just messing with you, right?" grinned Freya. "Who cares if you breathe correctly as long as you kick ass…?"
"That's what I said," I said, agreeing wholeheartedly. Of course then he called me a padawan and one thing led to another. Anyway, I was as good as finished with the martial arts part of my training now. Defeating one's teacher seemed to be the universal sign of readiness… and having one's teacher scared of them probably translated into being the kind of threat even the Supreme Leader should be worrying about.
"Have you ever considered that we might have too much other important rebel stuff to do to actually go out of our way to capture Hux…?" said Freya, studying my expression carefully.
"Of course. That's why I have a plan B."
"Oh, let me guess… You're learning to fly next, aren't you? So you can steal a ship and do this on your own. To which I have to say don't you dare. Flying is my thing. If you need a lift behind the enemy lines you tell me," she said seriously. "And you better have actual plan when you do, instead of just vague ideas and too much anger clouding your judgement."
"I'll have a plan. What do you think I'm working on while I'm focusing on my breathing?"
"Planning out what torture you'll inflict on him once you have him locked up in a windowless room?"
"You know I had that all planned out since before I got away from the First Order," I said, not surprising her.
"So this is it now, isn't it? Just… waiting for what happens next. For months, probably, since we're all kind of dependent on when a teenager finishes her Jedi training. And all that time you'll be this scary, bizarro version of yourself, because you just had to begin taking all this seriously. For just about the worst reason there is, too. You do know the rest of us fight the First Order because they're oppressive and totalitarian and…"
"That's why I fight them too," I lied. Freya outright laughed at it... which was fair enough. "Oh, fine, so I don't care about all that nearly as much as I should. I still care about it, though. All those brainwashed Stormtroopers…? I met them. They're part of why I'm taking this so seriously."
"A part of it," said Freya in a tone that suggested there was something really wrong with that and if I asked her to explain I would just be making it worse. I shrugged. There was clearly nothing I could say – not if I hoped to avoid her I'm-judging-you expression.
"Oh but when our adorable new Jedi is all ready," I said, trying to change the subject. "Things will get interesting… I mean they always do when force sensitive people try to do their balancing act. And we'll get to be there to see it. That's something to look forward to."
"Don't even say stuff like that…" said Freya, clearly meaning it. "You know I can hardly wait. I mean how long can it possibly take…? Can we calculate it? Does anyone know how long was Luke doing flips all over Dagobah before he was ready…?"
I shrugged, having a hard time hiding my amusement at what was clearly serious torment for her. Instead I sat down on the arm of her chair and let her lean against my shoulder. There was something reassuring I probably should be saying, but I couldn't quite make myself. If I told her the wait probably won't be that long and we'll have a whole new adventure to go on before we know it, I'd be feeling like the worst liar in the galaxy.
"Yeah, it's going to be a while before things get interesting around here again," I admitted. "But it's not like we don't have anything to do in the meantime."
"I have no revenge to plot, remember…?"
"Good. That leaves you with plenty of free time then… I could use a spotter."
"You are not drawing me into your training," she said, sounding outraged by the very notion.
"Oh come on. It's what all the cool kids are doing now," I grinned. "It's gonna be fun. I'll give you a piggy back ride…"
"What? Why? How is that helpful in any way…?"
"No idea," I shrugged. "It's just how we do things in this galaxy."