Tomorrow
A/N: Chapter five was completely inspired by the song Picture by Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow.
/Flashback/
Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.
Chapter 5: Picture
With Arthur
Alfred's departure had been a shock to Arthur. The days felt slow and torturous, a slow hell that he wished would end. Francis had been a good friend to fall back on. Hadn't done anything to Arthur until they cleared their way through his uncertainty and feelings but by then it was too late.
/Flashback/
"Francis," Arthur greeted.
Francis nodded. "What can I do for you, mon petite Anglettere?"
Arthur huffed at the man who was posed, leaning casually against the doorframe with his arms crossed. "We have already spoken."
"Non," he refuted. "You said we had to talk."
"Public is not the best place to air one's laundry, Frog," Arthur snapped.
Francis smirked. "No, I suppose it is not. Tea?"
"Yes, thank you," Arthur said as he and Francis moved into the house.
"Really, why are you here, Anglettere?" Francis asked, making tea for his guest.
"Alfred and I fought," he said softly.
Francis frowned. "You are always fighting."
"This one went too far. It's over, Francis," Arthur said, his face twisted a bit in sadness.
Francis slipped some whiskey into Arthur's tea, knowing the man would not open up further without some help although the fact he was a lightweight helped a bit too.
By the time Francis had the whole story, Arthur was in his arms somewhere between distressed and needy, trying to kiss him. Francis took Arthur upstairs and gently laid him down. As he tried to pull away Arthur clung to him and pulled him down into the bed, trying and failing to kiss the Frenchman as he turned his head away.
"Why?" Arthur asked brokenly. "Don't you like me?"
"Oui," Francis responded gently. "It is out of respect for you and our friendship I deny you."
"Why?"
Francis chuckled a bit. He had forgotten how childlike Arthur could be. "You would regret it later. If we ever became a couple I would not want you to regret such a thing. Besides, you are still very much in love with your Alfred."
"He's not mine anymore," Arthur slurred, already asleep.
Francis kissed him on the forehead. "He was always yours, just as you have always been his. No one ever stood a chance between you two."
/Flashback end/
In the months since Arthur left he would only occasionally catch a whisper of how Alfred was doing. Matthew would not speak to him, but Gilbert would slip a few words to Francis who would pass it on to Arthur. It was painful to hear of new friendships and he once heard Matthew speak of a Kiku who Alfred was claiming to be his best friend other than Tony the Alien.
In his attempt to forget Alfred he found himself thinking more of him and in trying to hide away what had been Arthur found himself wanting. He would catch glimpses of memories in every part of town and he thought, perhaps this is why he left. Arthur currently happened to be dating a sensible young woman by the name of Allison. The two were moving slow and she reminded him entirely too much of Alfred, but he knows that is what drew him to her, her smile like his could light up a room and her attitude was always so upbeat. When they fought it was playful and never really taken seriously.
He sighed as he realized he still had to clean up some things. Just as he was about to go into the kitchen his cat knocked over something from the book shelf. Arthur moved to go pick it up but his breath hitched as he caught sight of it. It was William Shakespeare's The Tempest. Alfred had given it to him, a little note inside, but it was the picture that held his attention. He had not thought Alfred had left even a single picture behind, but he was wrong. It was one of them together leaning towards each other. He took it to the room he shared with Allison on occasion and cried.
He put the picture away and drank his sorrows, by the time Allison came around he was drunk and he dragged her to bed as she giggled at his enthusiasm. He looked at her and saw Alfred. He wondered if maybe he could have changed for him. He turned his thoughts back to the woman before him, mischievous eyes shining and he thought of another pair before shoving it back down. He refused to give in to those thoughts. He couldn't think of him while lying next to her. It wasn't fair.
With Alfred
Alfred was excited when he first arrived in Italy. While he was not in a major city like Rome, the villas of the country were beautiful. He was being taught by an herbalist who followed the old ways of gypsy medicines, and sometimes he was reminded of Arthur and his fascination with the occult. Other days, he would enjoy time with the man's grandsons. Feliciano and he had hit it off really well, Lovino…he was himself. He didn't understand at the time, but they all had their masks and slowly they had begun to fall in place of true friendship.
Feli loved being around people, he was affectionate and caring openly, wearing his heart on his sleeve, but he had his insecurities well hidden. Lovino was the opposite; his hardened exterior protected him from himself and others. By acting like he didn't care, Lovino could act as though he wasn't hurt or afraid of rejection, but his insecurities always made themselves known. Alfred himself wore a mask of cheeriness and playfulness that were not entirely lies, just hiding his pain from the loss of Arthur.
Feliciano brought over Ludwig, his boyfriend as it were, and introduced him to Alfred. Alfred didn't understand how the two could be a couple until he saw them together. Ludwig was strict, loyal, and a seemingly unmovable stubborn person when it came to following the rules, but he softened for Feliciano and often talked with Alfred about medical procedures and practices. Admittedly, Ludwig himself only had a passing interest in medicine and his heart lay in engineering, something Alfred only ever dabbled in out of boredom, but they made a connection and a friendship.
Antonio was a bit more confusing. He seemed to just understand Lovino during the weeks Alfred was trying to figure him out. When he found out Lovino and Antonio were a couple he shrugged. It made sense to him because the two were so close. Like he and Arthur had been. The thought sent jolts of pain through his heart at the memories that threatened to overwhelm him, but he smiled at his friends and joined them in conversation. This was also of course, how he met Kiku.
Kiku was another med student, one from Japan, interested in alternative medicines he had already spent some time in China, Russia, and Vietnam. Kiku also had the same interest in video games, introduced him to manga and anime, and would watch movies with him. It was to Kiku whom he revealed his heartbreak, Kiku who helped him move on, Kiku who had become his best friend, and it was Kiku who he eventually managed to fall for.
Alfred still held Arthur in his heart, but he wanted to be happy and Kiku was offering everything he had ever wanted. Kiku may not understand the physical touches as just reassurance to have someone close, and he may not enjoy public affection, but he never denied Alfred in public. Their friends knew they were together and respected their boundaries and Alfred never had to worry about if he was doing something wrong because Kiku, politely, shyly, cutely, would inform him if he was uncomfortable with what Alfred was doing.
Safe to say Alfred wasn't expecting to find Arthur's picture, it dredged up old memories of hurt and longing he had thought all but forgotten.
/Flashback/
Alfred was excited. He and Arthur were on vacation with their friends and the hotel was beautiful. The trip couldn't have been planned better.
He came and went as he pleased, leaving Arthur to relax as he wanted, but his friend's half-hearted smiled told him something wasn't right, especially when Arthur didn't talk to him for a few days. He caught sight of Arthur and smiled as he started walking over, but stopped short as he saw Francis behind Arthur and spin him around into a kiss.
Alfred turned around, all thoughts of spending time with Arthur gone, hurt and rejection in their place. He wondered if Arthur's doubts were the reason he didn't want to tell their friends about him. Did he love Francis more?
He waited for Arthur to seek him out, drinking cheap wine as he stayed in his room. Arthur didn't come, didn't seek him out even just to spend a bit of time together.
He didn't know that was the beginning of the end of their relationship.
/Flashback End/
Alfred didn't notice when his breath caught and he slid to the floor. He didn't feel the tears sliding down his face or notice his friends' worried glances as they caught sight of him as they walked in from their outing. He barely noticed Kiku sliding next to him and for the first time in their relationship offering comfort in a way Alfred desperately needed by hugging him.
Alfred's eyes shuttered closed as he sighed. He had waited for Arthur even now without realizing it and seeing his picture hurt. Talking to Matthew and asking after Arthur, checking to make sure he was all right, it was how he found out about Allison. He put the picture away. He had Kiku and that was enough for him.
He had found himself wondering about Arthur how and where he'd been, but Kiku was everything now and he couldn't stand to think of Arthur while next to Kiku.
"Alfred-kun?"
Alfred's breathing shuddered. "I'm okay…just wasn't expecting that, forgot about it if I'm honest."
Kiku nodded, unwilling to push for details. Alfred would share what he pleased when he was ready.
"What was that?" Lovino asked, a combination of curious and shocked by Alfred's sudden breakdown.
"I found a picture I wasn't expecting," Alfred said quietly. "Of the guy I loved since childhood who broke my heart."
Nothing more was said.
Weeks later
Alfred was surprised to run into Arthur and Francis in Italy, his time almost complete in internship and he would be returning home soon, but he didn't expect to see them here.
"Hey," Alfred greeted awkwardly. "How've you been?"
"Hello Alfred," Arthur returned. "I've been well, you?"
"I've been okay," he returned shuffling awkwardly. "So is this a thing?"
Arthur looked at him curiously until Alfred gestured with his hands at the two of them before Arthur got it and blushed. "No, no, Francis wanted to cheer me up after I broke up with Allison is all. He's a good friend," Arthur said softly.
"Oh."
"What about you?"
"I was just wandering for a bit. Kiku and I decided we were better as friends, no hard feelings there. He's brilliant."
"Oh."
"I missed you, ya know? It's like the world went dark and grey on me or something," Alfred commented shuffling his feet awkwardly. "It's been nice talking to you though."
"Me too," Arthur said, making Alfred look at him curiously from his aborted attempt to walk away. "I missed you too. You remind me of brighter days."
"Yeah." Alfred agreed. "I'll see you around."
Arthur looked at him.
"I'm going home soon. My internship is almost done."
Arthur smiled at that. Maybe Alfred would come home to stay.
"I've got to go, church, Lovino might strangle me if I'm late or interrupt the service."
"Sure thing," Arthur said awkwardly. He watched Alfred walk away and turned to Francis. "I need something to drink."
Francis frowned a bit but understood. Whatever had happened between them, it had left a lasting impact. They had never been so awkward, even when skirting around their feelings, as they were now. They had thought of each other for so long Francis didn't think they'd ever stop loving each other, but with what had happened it wasn't just a surprise. He couldn't understand why they were living life this way.
The next day Arthur found himself staring at Alfred's name on his phone. He wanted to change. Wanted to tell Alfred he was sorry. Wanted to tell Alfred he still loved him, but he was a coward and couldn't bring himself to hit call.
He jumped as his phone rang. Alfred's name lighting up the screen.
"Alfred?"
"Hey Arthur."
"I didn't think you'd call."
"I didn't either."
"Why did you?"
"I can't stop thinking about you. You're one my mind all the time. I still love you, never stopped really. Kiku helped, but there was a gaping hole in my heart that belonged to you and he understood. Not that it quite mattered since he was still hung up on Mei."
"I love you too…come back home?"
Alfred felt a smile spread across his face. "Of course."