A/N. Dear Jemily fans,

I know that chapter 10 upset a lot of people, and you guys all think that that would have never happened. I totally understand how you feel and I'm sorry you didn't enjoy it, but I didn't want this story to be so mundane, like a lot I have read, where they get together and live happily ever after, I wanted it to be longer lasting and be slightly controversial. I ask, no, beg of you to not give up on this story, and believe me it is definitely not finished yet, there is a lot I have left to write. This might surprise you but it has always been my plan that Emily and JJ would not get together straight away, but that doesn't necessarily mean they won't get together at all. I'm going to try to use the next few chapters to explain why Emily did what she did. Please try to understand what I'm trying to do, and thanks for all the reviews good, or bad they mean a lot to me. Thank you for your time, I hope you enjoy the rest of the story. - R.

Emily was on the floor. She couldn't get up, and she couldn't cry; she was just sitting on the floor in silence. Emily Prentiss was well and truly broken, but she couldn't go after JJ, she couldn't tell the other woman that she had made a mistake, that she had just panicked, and that she loved her with all her heart. She couldn't do that because deep down she knew she had done the right thing. She couldn't hurt JJ anymore than she already had this way, she couldn't wreck JJ and Henry's lives or ruin JJ's job. If she didn't let JJ love her, she wouldn't let JJ get hurt, or at least that's what she told herself.

Emily was destructive, if she had a good thing it was like she felt compelled to destroy it. She couldn't destroy JJ. So she just sat still, her heart screaming out at her to call JJ, text JJ, run after JJ, anything that would get her JJ, and after a while she let tears roll down her cheeks. Why did she do that? Why couldn't she have just told JJ how she felt?

"STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!" Emily thought. She had told herself that she would wreck JJ's life if she got into a relationship with her, but the truth was Emily had already wrecked JJ's life; JJ had put her heart out on the line when she told her best friend how she felt for her, and Emily had just got a sledge hammer and smashed it to pieces. This made Emily feel even worse, if that was possible, and the brunette just couldn't compartmentalize this.

A little while later and Emily was still sitting on the floor, she had tried to get up to get coffee, but she broke the mug, then she got mad and smashed her coffee maker up, it was so not like her, but she couldn't control herself, she wasn't her anymore, she was just the shell of Emily.

"Freaking Dyke." Emily kept replaying the words in her head, she couldn't believe she had said them. She was pulled out of her mind by a soft knock on the door, she hoped with all her heart that it was JJ, but she knew that it probably wasn't.

"Emily, let me in." Garcia's slightly angry voice traveled to Emily's ears, the brunette didn't respond. "Right, Miss Prentiss, listen here, you may be a federal agent, and you may be like a sister to me, but LET ME IN or I swear to god, I will BREAK THIS FREAKING DOOR DOWN!" Emily sighed and Garcia heard the lock click open. "Thank you." Garcia said, sarcastically. Emily was still in her pajamas, and her hair was not even brushed, it was just falling down and sticking up in random places around her head.

"What?" Emily grunted, really not in the mood for a lecture right now. "What do you want?"

"I came to see if you were okay, JJ told me what happened. You hurt her, Emily, you really hurt her." Penelope said, taking a step towards the other woman.

"I know." was all Emily could manage to say before fresh tears started running from her eyes and she collapsed into a wailing wreck in Garcia's arms. Garcia took a small amount of pity on the other woman and lead her towards her living room,

"Don't expect me to feel sorry for you just because you cry." Garcia said, sitting Emily into an armchair.

"I don't." Emily sniffed, trying to hold back the rest of the tears she felt filling her eyes.

"Are you going to tell me why you decided to break JJ's heart?" Garcia asked, Emily couldn't really explain why, the one reason she had was pathetic. "I know you love her."

"It's because I love her, Penelope. I love her with all that I am, and I can't hurt her."

"Why don't you trust yourself to be with her?" Penelope asked, tilting her head to try to understand better.

"Because, she's so perfect, and I'm not. I ruin anything good. I'm so much older than her and she's got Henry, and her job, she's got too much to lose." Emily explained, tears somehow restraining from falling down her face.

"Do you honestly believe that?" Garcia asked.

"I've got to." Emily paused for a moment, mulling over a thought in her head, "That's why I'm leaving the team." She said. Garcia turned pale.

"You're leaving the team? Why? Surely you guys can work this out." Emily shook her head.

"No." She said. "I will not rub this in Jennifer's face, she doesn't know that I love her back, and the best way for her to get over me is if I just disappear, I can't hurt her anymore this way."

"But, you can't leave. We're a family, Emily." Garcia said.

"It's hurting me too, but it has to be this way." Tears fell down Garcia's face. "Don't worry, we'll still see each other, I swear it to you." Garcia knew that Emily was a woman of her word, but that didn't make this any easier.

"Are you sure this is what you want to do?" Garcia asked. Emily nodded.

"Certain."

A/N. I'm really sorry if you didn't like this chapter, and I know you don't want Emily to go, but trust me, it's a crucial part of the story.