There's a moment of silence that follows after Hiccup falls to the ground. It's as if everything seems to settle, deflate. Everything is calm, but that only lasts for a brief second as Stoick rushes to Hiccup.
"Hiccup!" he rushes to Hiccup's side, and carefully cradles his son's body.
He carefully turns Hiccup's head until he holds it in the crook of his arms.
"Hiccup," he cries.
Guards behind him were securing Alvin and Savage while the Beserkers handled the dragons. Gobber and the others gather around Stoick. Vikings on the outside of the arena gaze on worry and heartbreak.
The stiffness of Hiccup's body scared Stoick in a way that h never thought was possible. He couldn't feel Hiccup's heartbeat, his breathing was so minimal that Stoick wasn't sure if he was imagining it.
Stoick brushed a few strands of Hiccup's hair out of his face, his skin wasn't cold, rather warm.
Stoick sniffled. "Hiccup, please, wake up." he begs.
Suddenly, Hiccup's eyes fluttered. Stoick felt his small body grow rigid, only to relax seconds later.
Hiccup's eyes fluttered open.
He moans in pain. He blinks a few times before peering up at his father. "Daddy?"
Stoick looked down to see his son, and a wide smile of relief and happiness flooded him. "Hic- Hiccup," he begins to chuckle. "You're, you're alive! He's alive. He's alive!"
The men and women cheer in happiness and rejoice. Some toss their helmets into the air, dance around in joy. The overall feeling of joy permeating the air.
Hiccup tries to shift, but his boy was in too much of pain to try.
"Easy son." Stoick coos, and Hiccup relaxes.
"Dad?" he asks, and the feeling of happiness that Stoick feels just overwhelms him.
He was once again his father. He peers down at Hiccup, and Hiccup's eyes were glass like.
"I, I'm so sorry." He says, on the verge of crying.
Stoick says nothing, but just holds his son into a close hug. His cheek tickled by Hiccup's hair, the warmth of his son's body close to his own. Hiccup began to shiver slightly. Stoick was about to pick him up and carry him back to the house, but something stopped them.
A soft moan.
Hiccup's head snapped up and looked around. Toothless laid sprawled across the floor of the arena.
"Toothless. . ." Hiccup almost squeaked, it was a mixture between surprise, shock and worry.
Suddenly Hiccup picked himself up and carried himself to Toothless. He practically collapsed at Toothless body. He felt all around Toothless head and snout. Warm breath seeped through his nostrils and soon Toothless' eyes fluttered open.
Hiccup let out a breathy laugh of relief. "Oh thank Thor!" he cried as he hugged the Night Fury.
Hiccup's legs shifted so one was stacked on the other. And pressed his cheek to Toothless' jaw line. Toothless licked his cheek and cooed in relief to see his owner safe. Stoick made his way with Astrid and Gobber while the others freed their dragons.
Astrid kneeled beside Hiccup. Normally she would punch him to make him pay for scaring her, but something about the way Hiccup looked now, he seemed, delicate.
Fragile.
Feeble.
She was even scared that if she did punch him, he'd crack and shatter into a million pieces. Like perfect porcelain.
Instead, she gingerly placed a hand on his shoulder, and he didn't pull away. He didn't even react. He didn't look at her or even acknowledge she was there. He lifted his head and continued to stroke Toothless' head. He seemed fine as he slowly shifted himself into a more relaxed position.
"Hiccup," Stoick said, so gentle that hiccup looked to make sure it was him. "Let's take you and Toothless home. You need to rest."
Hiccup just stared at him for a moment. He didn't reply. His eyes were wide like he had just seen something that terrified him, emptiness within them. His eyebrows were furrowed in a worried look. Hiccup swallowed thickly and for a second Stoick was worried he said something wrong, or something was happening inside Hiccup's head.
Suddenly, Hiccup began to shiver and shake like. Like he'd been caught in a sever snowstorm with nothing on but a tunic. He looked down and wiped a few more tears from his eyes. "S - sorry."
"No," Stoick whispered, leaning over and putting a soft hand on his knee, "Don't apologize for crying. It's okay." he said soothingly.
Hiccup placed his hand gingerly on top of Stoick's; squeezing it as if it were the only comfort he was ever going to receive.
Hiccup opened his mouth, as if he was about t say something, and then – he burst into tears. It was accompanied by an anguished wailing that almost drew tears out of Stoick and Astrid's' eyes. Hiccup was sobbing now, unable to control it anymore.
Between the sobs and gaps for breath, somehow, Stoick and Astrid managed to catch his words.
I'm sorry.
He kept repeating it over and over again. Trying to get the point across, trying to tell everyone that he meant it. And they did, but their hearts just broke at the sight of him.
A beautiful, broken boy.
Stoick didn't offer any comfort, but only because he wanted Hiccup to let it all out. He needed to. He deserved to.
Sob after sob continually wrecked Hiccup's body. He would constantly gasp and wheeze. His cries were so heart wrenching, tears flowed down Astrid' cheeks. But not due to watching Hiccup break down, but because he was expressing his emotions.
He had been locked away in his own mind, trapped behind Alvin's cold doppelganger that he created. He had been forced to be locked away.
She tried to imagine what he went through.
It's like a storm that cuts a path. It breaks your will.
Having someone else, who was you, but at the same time, wasn't you, control your body. Injure your loved ones. Force you into a being you never thought could be. To be conscious of what you're doing, but have no control. The thought alone terrified her.
To go through it, that was something of another story.
Hiccup began to rock gently back and forth in his father's arms. Stoick rubs his back in gentle circles. He turns Hiccup toward him and lets him sob into his chest. Astrid can't help but search for Hiccup's hand.
When she finds it, she grabs it and gives it a gentle squeeze. While there was no pressure in return, she stayed there, and he let her. It hurts her heart to see Hiccup cry. Deep inside, Astrid makes a promise to herself.
I will stand by you. I will help you through. When you've done all you can do and you can't cope, I will be there. I will dry your eyes, I will fight your fights.
"I will hold you tight, and I won't let go." She whispers out loud.
I won't let you down.
Hiccup was later carried back to the house, slightly drowsy, and after given a glass of water and clean new clothes, he was put straight to bed. Goathi was scheduled to give him a checkup tomorrow. Everyone agreed he needed rest.
In the meantime, they can discuss on what should happen to Alvin, and Mildew since he aided in the attack on Berk.
As Stoick tucked Hiccup into bed, he couldn't help but see how such a child Hiccup looked. Cuddled in bed, curled into a small ball. Stoick sighed and placed the Nader stuffed animal in Hiccup's hand. And immediately, Hiccup's fingers enclosed gently around it. With a kiss on the forehead, Stoick blew out the candle next to Hiccup's nightstand and went downstairs.
Gobber and Astrid had stayed behind, and once Stoick was downstairs, Toothless went upstairs. Stoick sighed as he plopped down into his chair at the table.
"How is he?" Gobber asks.
"He seems fine, but I'm not letting my guard down until Goathi comes tomorrow. And then I still have that meeting in a few minutes at the Great Hall." Stoick sad frustrated, rubbing his temple where a headache just started to form.
"Oh no you don't." Gobber said.
Stoick looks to him in confusion. "What?"
"You stay here with Hiccup. I'll go to the meeting. The men will understand." Gobber says.
"Gobber, that's not necessary." Stoick says.
"Oh it is." Gobber retorts. "You've been through enough for one night. The last thing you need is another weight on your shoulders."
"Look, I can handle the meeting," Stoick starts.
"I know you can." Gobber interrupts. "But you can't handle being away from Hiccup."
The words find their target and Stoick's shoulders slump.
"You've had enough old friend." Gobber goes on, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Look, Hiccup's home and in his own bed. Just try and relax."
Stoick manages to smile. And all in all, he's grateful. After tonight, and until tomorrow, he'd rather stay behind and watch Hiccup 24/7. Stoick stands up and hugs Gobber, giving him good pats on the back. He really is a true friend if he can see the pain behind Stoick's eyes.
Gobber soon left with final words of. "Get some rest."
With the fire as the only sound in the house, Stoick tried to calm his nerves by doing his carving. After grabbing ten two-by-fours from the backyard, he starts to carve. The one thing that's keeping him grounded is the fact that Toothless seemed to show great recover after the battle.
But then again he was a dragon, and a Night Fury, things still could be different for Hiccup. The thought of his son being permanently damaged made him jerk too hard on the wood and he accidentally gashed his thumb. He hisses in pain and sucks away the blood.
It was around eight o'clock when he started, and by the time he was done, it was half past midnight and the living room was half filled with ducks, turtles and just random shapes Stoick created. Fingers raw and filled with splinters, he finally placed the knife and wood eon the table and went to bed.
The next morning, Goathi made her visit to the house. Outside a gathering crowd huddled around the house, waiting eagerly for the results. Things seemed to be looking up. Hiccup woke up this morning fine and mentally together, a little shaken by the whole experience, but at least together.
He finished his breakfast of two eggs and yak milk along with two apples. His speech and talking abilities seemed okay. Today it was breakfast in bed; Stoick didn't really feel comfortable of having Hiccup walking until Goathi recommended.
Stoick told him about Alvin and Mildew. They were sent back to Outcasts Island after no food or water for three days. They were literally dumped back on the island and their dragons were released. They may return to Outcast Island, they may not. But Berk had no use of them since training them seemed impossible.
Not exactly the right choice, but since their master was Alvin, one can assume their loyalties remained.
Once inside, Gobber escorted her upstairs and she got to work checking Hiccup. She had him follow her finger back and forth to see his eyes motion. He would follow her finger, she'd ask how many fingers she'd be holding up, and simple math problems to make sure nothing gave him sudden, severe headaches.
She asked him, indirectly, simple questions to see how he would answer. His words were clear and find. He seemed okay. Goathi had him wiggle his fingers and make a fist, touch each finger to his thumb, then wiggle his toes. His range of motion seemed fine.
Finally she had him stand and walk around the room. He was a little wobbly since he hadn't gotten out of bed, no thanks to Stoick. But once he stretched he walked just fine. He bent his knees, squatted and did jumping jacks. Hiccup walked up to his Dad, both waiting as Goathi wrote on the wood floors.
Gobber translates. "Good news. Hiccup's in perfect health!" he says. "He'll be fine after a few days of rest."
Hiccup and Stoick hug together in relief to know Hiccup was still piece together.
"But," Gobber interjects, and Hiccup moans in frustration. "Goathi feels it would be best if Hiccup got some therapy."
Stoick and Hiccup look to each other in surprise.
"Therapy?" Stoick asks.
"Well it's just a suggestion, but she thinks, if the experience was traumatic for Hiccup, therapy might be helpful. Of course you don't have to, Hiccup. But the options always there in case you want to."
Hiccup nodded in agreement that it was fair. The fact that it was optional made him more open to the idea. "Well, it seems like a good idea," he starts.
"But it's only your first day up, give it some thought and we'll see how you feel." Stoick suggests.
"Yeah sure." Hiccup agreed.
"Good. Now why don't you go downstairs and freshen up." Stoick suggests.
Hiccup nods and hugs Stoick before he heads downstairs. Stoick watches as he steps downstairs, and after thanking Goathi for her time, Gobber escorts her back home. The crowd dispersed after Gobber gave a brief rundown of Goathi's inspection and everyone le with relieved smiles.
Down in the bathroom, Hiccup drew himself a bath. Using an old shield as a mirror, Hiccup stares at himself as he sees reminisces of Hadrian. The inky locks of hair, the scars of battles with people and dragons. Blisters from handling weapons too often. Soreness from swinging, jumping and sparring.
While Hiccup admired his new muscular physic, he didn't want to see any reminder. Apart from the scars healing on their own, Hiccup knew one thing could possibly help bring closure. He snarled and snatched a bar of soap.
He took a big inhale of air and dunked his head into the tub. He covered his hands in suds and starts to wash his hair. He scratched his head and felt his head tingle and burn from his nail scraping against his scalp. Coming up for an occasional breath, Hiccup didn't stop until every last trace of black was gone.
By the time he washed his head with the final cycle of water, his scalp was bright pink and tingling. He tossed his up gasping for a big breath and catching his breath. He inhaled and exhaled until his heartbeat settled and he felt normal again.
After he used a towel to suck most of the moisture out of his hair, he simply let it air-dry and found something clean to wear. He finds his old green tunic, fur vest and dark green pants. He dresses in less than a minute and looks to the mirror again.
Now he looked like himself. Good old Hiccup. He took a deep breath, finally satisfied with how he looked. He stepped out of the bathroom and found his father by the fire pit, packing away some potatoes into a burlap sack. He looks to Hiccup and smiles.
He was glad to have his son back. But there was still one more thing he needed to do. Hiccup stared at the fire, then to Toothless who was eating fish out of a whicker basket. Toothless catches him staring and his ears perk up.
Hiccup suddenly runs upstairs. "Hiccup?" Stoick calls.
Hiccup's foots catches on the last step and he crashes to the floor. He forces himself to rise and enter his room. He makes his way to the trunk that was next to his bed. While he had the strength, he undoes the latches and pries the top open.
Trembling in weakness and anxiety, he stares at the blanket of black in his trunk.
Black leather bands specked with hostile silver studs, tightly strapped boots studded on the toes, and pants covered with buckles and dull silver chains. All folded so neatly under plates of armor, the Outcast logo just peeking out from the corner of the shoulder pad.
Hiccup swallows thickly and reaches a steady hand down to grab the garments. He snatches everything, even the armor and rushes downstairs. He notices his Dad glance at him and he looks back. Stoick's eyes flick from Hiccup to the clothes, and with a nod of assent, Hiccup feeds his clothes to the fire.
They clothes caught immediately and were already burning, but the metal merely heated. Hiccup's hand clenched into a fist. He turns to Toothless. "Toothless."
Toothless immediately springs up and walks over to the fire. Hiccup points and Toothless blasts the plates of armor into smithereens. He melted the chains and Hiccup stared in pride as the melted metal mixes with the clothing. Forming into something freaky, then fully configuring to the charred wood and ash.
With a sigh of relief, Hiccup falls back into a stool placed near the fire. "Feel better?" Stock asks and Hiccup nods and smiles.
"But there's still a few more things I need to do." He says, and when Stoick looks to him, and sees a shy smile, he smiles back and gives him permission to leave.
But not before Hiccup gave his father a hug goodbye.
Hiccup first sniffed out Bucket, who recovered well from the wound from the jail. Hiccup was a little nervous to talk to him, thinking Bucket would hate him, but Bucket was more than happy to see Hiccup. Hugged him even when Mulch told him he was here.
Hiccup got a little teary-eyed when he tried to apologize to Bucket, but all Bucket did was wave it off as some accident. He simply hugged Hiccup tight and Hiccup returned the hug.
"Welcome home, Hiccup." Bucket said and Hiccup's eyes watered.
Thankfully Mulch sad it was time to get back to work, relieving Hiccup of having to cry in front of Bucket. Hiccup waved to the two men goodbye and headed to his next stop. The Academy. With the help of Gobber, Hiccup apologized to each dragon individually. They didn't seem that offended and Meatlug even gave him an apologetic lick on the cheek.
Hiccup had already made his amends with Toothless, and while he still carries the weight of what he did to Toothless, Toothless doesn't hold it against him. But Hiccup refuses to lift the weight until he can find a way to make it up to Toothless.
Everything he did as Hadrian will haunt him until he finds a way to make it up to everyone. What he did, what he said to everyone. He will ever forgive himself, and he will forever carry the burden of what he did, it's less than what he deserves.
His final visit was the trickiest one. Astrid.
What he, or Hadrian did to her, it was unforgivable. Disgusting. Hiccup's just lucky Astrid has a strong spirit. One of the many things he admired about her. He made his way to her house, and was thankful she was home.
She smiled when she opened the door. "Oh, hey Hiccup."
She gives him a hug hello and Hiccup pats her back. "Hey, Astrid."
"What's up?" she asks happily. She seemed in a good mood, hopefully this won't be so bad.
"You wanna go for a walk?" he asks, and she smiles in answer.
The two teens made their way to the woods where they talked and avoided the subject Hiccup wanted to talk about until they reached the meadow of spring flowers. Hiccup gently takes Astrid's hand and pulls her to a stop.
"Astrid?" he began.
She kept her gaze downcast at first, drawing as near as she dared, surprising herself as she scooted the toes of her shoes within inches of his boot and foot. Hiccup didn't rush her. She focused first on the stitches on the collar of his tunic – a straight line, then an X, and a straight line again – and worked her way up to his collarbone, and the light wisps of his hair.
"Hiccup." She whispered. She looked to him. His eyes, partially lost in the brown recesses of his hair, stared down at her.
"I'm so sorry." He says. His throat constricted, and he turned his own attention to his feet. "You know I didn't mean it," he went on softly, "and . . ." he shut his mouth quickly, before he was able to make himself sound anymore pathetic.
"Don't worry about it," She said, so gently that Hiccup had to look at her to make sure he hadn't imagined the faint note of amusement there.
Hiccup stared at her for a moment. Astrid felt the brush of Hiccup's knuckles against her law. Startled, her eyes gleamed at him. He skin seemed to him from where he touched her. He leaned down close to whisper, the sensation of his breath against her cheek nearly causing her eyes to flutter shut.
"May I?" he asked.
She felt herself fluttering all over from his closeness. She wanted to step closer, toward his familiar scent and his low, sweet tone.
"Yes." She said in the quietest whisper.
Hiccup leaned down and kissed her neck. The smell of something fresh filled her nostrils as his mouth trailed up to her jaw. She felt his arms sling around her mid-back. She never felt so safe and secure in the arms of a hiccup. She loved how Hiccup was so sweet, gentle, and respectful.
Maybe one of the reasons why he wasn't a Viking was because he was a gentleman.
She breathed him in as his mouth sought hers, savoring the smell of her perfume, edgy but feminine all at once. He raised both hands to cup he face, to hold her lips against his own. Then he stopped kissing her and just brushed his cheek against hers. Astrid slowly leaned in, her head resting in the crook of his neck.
Astrid wrapped her arms around his torso and pressed his frame to her. Her eyes softly closed and she whispered, "I missed you so much."
Hiccup cradled the back of her head in one hand while the other rested on the shoulder blade area of her back. Soon both hands hugged her shoulders, and Hiccup pressed his forehead into her shoulder. "I missed you too."
Hiccup slightly leaned back until his back was pressed against a tree. They stayed like this, hugging, embracing each other. Memorizing the other's scent as if to never forget it. Hiccup's eyes watered as the warmth of Astrid's body radiated into him.
As he breathed in, a shaky breath mixed with a slight sob made Astrid pull away. His body shivered slightly. "Hey, it's okay." She whispered as she wiped away a tear. Her hand stayed there, cradling his cheek.
Then she smiled sheepishly as she held Hiccup's hands and swung them back and forth like a little girl. Hiccup smiled and chuckled in amusement. He rarely ever saw the childish side of Astrid. It was defiantly cute. Then she walked into him again and the two shared another passionate kiss.
Astrid pulled away and turned and looked at the sky. Her eyes widened when she saw it was an orange and purple blaze. "Oh, we need to get back." she said, but not in the sense that she was late for a curfew, but something else.
"Why?" he asked out of curiosity.
She smiled, excited. "Come one you'll see."
She took Hiccup's hand, intertwining their hands and she led him back to the village. As they walked through the village, Hiccup couldn't help but love the way Astrid' hand felt in his. It was soft and smooth.
As they mounted the steps to the Great Hall, she spun him around and covered his eyes.
"Whoa, whoa hey! Astrid, what are you doing?" he asked with an amused tone.
"Just wait," she said.
They walked forward and Hiccup heard the doors open by unseen people. When they closed, Astrid's hands were removed. There was a sudden light that blinded Hiccup, but when he adjusted, lanterns were stung all around the Great Hall along with banners with the Berk Crest on it.
Everyone from the village was there and they all shouted, "Surprise!"
Hiccup smiled and laughed as he looked around. "What's this?" he asks.
"It's a surprise party." Fishlegs says walking up and hugging Hiccup.
"To celebrate your return." Gobber said. "We missed you Hiccup."
"To Hiccup!" Bucket cheers and the entire hall cheers to him.
While everyone mingled, Hiccup noticed a few Beserker men around.
Dagur! He nearly forgot.
Hiccup peered and looked all around the hall for Dagur, and managed to find him sitting at a table near the fire pit. Hiccup took a deep breath, prepared for the worst that Dagur could do, and walked forward.
Dagur didn't seem to notice him coming, and when Hiccup was at his side, he said. "Dagur?"
Dagur looked up from his meal and his eyes rose in surprise. "Hiccup." He said. He rose from his seat, and Hiccup stood his ground.
"Listen, Dagur, I'm sorry about what I did to you. I now it was probably unforgivable, and you have every right to be furious with me. But please all I ask is that you stay allies with Berk. We really need you and your men-"
Hiccup was stopped with Dagur's hand showing his palm to him. Hiccup swallowed a thick lump in his throat. But something in him, what felt like relief, eased his rigid muscles when Dagur said, "Bored again."
Dagur chuckled, a normal chuckle compared to the deranged tone it usually had. "Look Hiccup, I don't blame you for what you did. You were merely a puppet, and Alvin was pulling the strings. I only feel regret that you had to suffer through that."
Hiccup's eyes widen in amazement. For a deranged man, he certainly had a calm side to him. "Wow Dagur. I've never seen this side of you." Hiccup admits.
"Well it certainly took the right, person to bring it out. I guess I should thank you Hiccup. You certainly slapped some sense into me." Dagur said, and while there was no accusing in his tone, Hiccup felt guilty once more.
He didn't want Dagur to change. As crazy as it sounded, Dagur the Deranged was one of many things that were a par to his normal life. He wanted nothing to change, and certainly nothing that reminded him of what he and done as Hadrian.
And while he would've loved to have a sane Dagur around, he wanted it to be natural. Not something that was forced upon him because his life was at the mercy of a sword.
Hiccup felt a hand on his shoulder. "Hiccup, there's nothing for you to feel guilt about. You changed me for the better. Believe me I'm still deranged, but now, I have more compassion, and most of all respect for you." Hiccup looks up. "The real you. Hadrian was a warrior, but you're more of a man than he'll ever be."
Hiccup smiled. "Thank you Dagur."
And with a couple pats on the back, Dagur left to go mingle with the villagers. Hiccup found Astrid within the crowd, and joined her in a dance well-known among the villagers.
And for once, Hiccup felt truly, free.