Katniss POV

Chapter 1

Bright, golden, morning sunshine permeates the room. I feel an extra weight on my abdomen. I open my eyes and take a minute to adjust to the bright light. I look down at my side and see an arm draped across it. I shift my gaze up to see his beautiful sleeping form. He looks so young and peaceful. His short blond curls lay in a mess on his head. Slowly I shift my position, as not to wake him, and lay my hand across his bare chest. A few minutes pass as I lie there watching the steady rise and fall of his breathing as he begins to wake. In an instant his eyes flutter open, revealing his breathtakingly, sapphire-blue eyes. He hums, content, when he notices my hand placed over his heart. He turns and smiles, making butterflies twirl about in my stomach.

"Morning Sunshine." He says in a deep voice that causes my heartbeat to quicken. He leans over and gives me a sweet kiss and mumbles, "I love you" against my lips. He rolls away onto his back, still smiling at me.

"I love you too." I reply in full honesty, giving him a smile that is only reserved for him.

"I love you so much Katniss."

All of the sudden he is gone and the sun disappears. The temperature drops in the room and I am left trembling. Panic begins to set in as my eyes try to search the now completely dark room for any sign of him. He was there just a moment ago, how can he be gone? My hands reach through the dark looking for something, anything, to hold onto. I begin to scream his name over and over again until my throat is raw and it only comes out as a raspy whisper. I curl into a ball on the now hard cold floor as I feel my mind begin to slip away…

"KATNISS!" Someone is yelling my name and I can feel strong arms shaking me as I am brought back to reality. I open my eyes to see Gale leaning over me with a concerned look on his face, his deep grey eyes glistening in the moonlight. He stays like that for a good minute before, just staring at me, searching me, before he begins to speak.

"Are you okay? You've been screaming and crying for the last five minutes." Just then I realize that my cheeks are wet and I feel the pounding of a horrible headache beginning in the base of my skull. I am shaking all over and once I realize that it was just a dream, I start to relax a little bit. I have never told Gale anything in depth about my experience in the Hunger Games, other than the fact that they bring back too much emotion. I frantically grasp at my neck until I find what I am looking for, my pearl. The pearl that Peeta gave me on the beach during the Quarter Quell. I roll the pearl at the end of the small silver chain between my thumb and forefinger. I instantly feel safe and calm at the thought of him. I look back over to Gale and tell him that everything is fine, that I just had a bad dream. I know that he doesn't believe me, but he knows better than to push the subject.

I roll over and pretend to fall back asleep, steadying my breathing. Eventually Gale settles back into bed and drifts back to sleep. I look at the clock on my nightstand and it reads 3:45 am in bright green numbers. I lie awake, unable to fall asleep after the panic I felt from my dream, until the clock reads 5:30 am. At this point I might as well get up and start my day. There is no use wasting my time trying to do something that is impossible.

I crawl out of bed, careful not to wake Gale, and tiptoe to the bathroom to take a shower. I close the door behind me and turn on the lights. I stare at myself in the mirror and notice the dark circles under my eyes from the sleepless night. I look horrible, but what else is new. I walk to the shower and turn the water to the hottest setting that I can stand. I stand under the water letting it wash away all the pain and sorrow. I cry and it feels good, letting myself let go. The pain from the war still feels so fresh, like an open wound. I wash myself and stand there for a moment before getting out. I turn off the water and dry myself off. I quietly walk to the closet in our room, Gale is still fast asleep on the bed. I pull on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and my father's hunting jacket, one of the few items I still have from my past.

The floorboards creak as I walk down the hall to the apartment's small kitchen. I imagine smelling freshly baked goods as I walk closer to the kitchen. When I get there, I walk to the stove and put on a pot of water for some tea. I need to think of something to get my mind off of things because I can tell that today will be difficult. As wait for the water to boil, I walk over to the balcony looking over the forest. I open the door and am hit with the crisp fall air of District 2. It has been three years and I can still smell the fresh pine breeze from District 12. I miss it so much. My heart clenches when I immediately think of Peeta. I stop myself from thinking about the past, take a deep breath, and head back inside.

In my head I repeat the words that remind me that I am still sane: My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am 21 years old. I am a Victor of both the 74th and 75th Hunger Games. I am deeply in love with my old district partner, who is believed- known- to be dead. The war has been over for three years, yet I am still plagued with vivid nightmares. Gale Hawthorne is my best friend and honestly, I don't know what I would do without him. I wish that I could get rid of the past, but the sun persists on rising, so I make myself stand.

The pot is screaming, telling me that the water is boiling. I pour some water into my mug and place a teabag in it letting it absorb the flavor. I have to get out of here. I need a change in scenery. Hurrying down the hall to the bedroom, I have to remind myself to be quiet. If I want to leave without being pummeled with questions, I have to be quick. I grab my duffel bag from the top of the closet and fill it with clothes and a couple pairs of shoes. I glance back at Gale's sleeping form before walking out of the room. I throw in my hunting boots and lug my bag to the front door. Back in the kitchen, I open a drawer, pull out a piece of paper and a pen, and write a note for Gale:

Gale-
I am on my way to District 4 to see Annie and little Finn. Be back in a couple days. Please don't worry about me while I am gone. I just need some time away.
Love,
Katnip

I leave the note on the counter next to the stove, so that he is sure to see it when he makes tea for himself. I grab my bag and head out the door. Gale knows that I will be back soon and he won't question my sudden hiatus. He'll understand that I need to be with someone that truly understands my pain, right? Annie understands what it was like to not only be in the games, but also lose the one you love.