Hi everyone! Please review my story once you read it. It would really help me to know what you think! Thanks for all of the support from my followers and thanks to those who have reviewed! This chapter is a little early because I have had plenty of time to write over vacation. School starts again this week though, so it will probably go back to once a week. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything!

Chapter 4

Katniss' POV

I've been here with Annie and Finn for a few days now. It is so nice to be away from District 2. Annie and I have been spending our days together while Finn is at preschool. I hope that Gale is doing okay back at home. Today, Annie and I are going to the market after we drop off Finn.

"Honey, lets go get dressed." Annie tells Finn as she clears our plates from the breakfast table.

Finn hops down from his seat and toddles over to me. He is wearing cute baby blue pajamas that show off his adorable chubbiness. He grabs my hand and asks me to help him get ready.

"I want to wear my lellow and boo shirt today, Auntie Katniss."

"Okay Finn. I'll come help you get dressed." I get up from my seat and lift Finn into my arms. I walk out of the kitchen and give Annie a smile to let her know that I am okay. Finn puts his little arms around my neck and snuggles into me. Tears come to my eyes as I think of what could have been. Peeta would have been such a great father. I never wanted any kids, but I would have had child for Peeta. He was always so good around children and I know he wanted some of his own.

A single tear rolls down my cheek. My chest contracts, but I don't give into the sobs that threaten to break free. I make it up the stairs and down the hall to Finn's room. I put him down and he goes straight to his dresser to get his shirt. I walk over to his dresser with him and I grab a pair of shorts and some socks for him. By the time I do that, he already has his shirt and a new pair of underwear on. I laugh at how eager he is to get dressed. I help him pull on his shorts and put on his socks. Finn runs over to his shoe bin to pick out his sneakers and I try to regain composure. I take a deep breath and close my eyes.

My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am 21 years old. I am a Victor of both the 74th and 75th Hunger Games. I am deeply in love with my old district partner, who is believed- known- to be dead. The war has been over for three years, yet I am still plagued with vivid nightmares. Gale Hawthorne is my best friend and honestly, I don't know what I would do without him. Seeing my friends and how they keep themselves together helps me keep moving foreword. I wish that I could get rid of the past, but the sun persists on rising, so I make myself stand.

I open my eyes to see Finn standing in front of me, holding up a pair of navy blue sneakers.

"Those shoes are awesome Finn!" I say as I lift him up onto his bed. I tickle his toes, making him giggle. He smiles at me when I am done tying his shoes.

"Auntie Katniss, can you stay wif us forever?" He asks me. His little green eyes look up at me in a pleading manner.

"I would love to Finn, but I do have to go home eventually. I have people that need me there, too." I think of Gale as I say this.

"Awe, okay." Finn reaches his little, chubby arms up towards me, asking me to pick him up.

I carry him downstairs and we meet Annie at the front door. She has all of his school things ready and his lunch packed. She also has our bag for when we go to the market later. She smiles at me with Finn in my arms; she has told me more than once that I am wonderful with children and will make a great mother someday. Personally, I hope that day doesn't come. My one soulmate is lost; gone forever.

We step outside into the warm, salty air. The walk to Finn's preschool is quite short and takes us less than ten minutes. When we get close Finn begins to squirm in my arms; his way of telling me that he wants to get down. I put him down on the sidewalk and he starts to toddle ahead of us. He gets so excited to go to school. I remember when he was just a little baby, right after the war. He is so big now, I can hardly believe it.

We get to the gates of the school and I decide that I would rather stay outside today.

"Annie, I think I'm going to stay out here and just sit on a bench. You go ahead and bring Finn, I'll wait here for you."

"Are you sure?" She looks at me skeptically. I just nod in reply and give her a small smile. She can sense that something is a little bit off with me today, but she doesn't question it. "Alright, I'll be out soon. Say bye, Finn."

"Bye Auntie Katniss." Finn says as he waves goodbye to me.

I sit on the bench, close my eyes, and listen to the noise of people moving around me. I picture myself sitting on the beach during the quarter quell. I watch the waves roll in and out in a controlled rhythm. Peeta appears next to me with his same heart-melting smile. I gasp, suddenly unable to breathe. He leans in and kisses me with all of the passion he has and I kiss him back with equal force. He pulls back from the kiss, ending it all too soon. The setting changes around us and I turn to see that we are in District 13. I look back at Peeta to see him preparing to lunge at me. I have to get out of here. I move to leave but I am too late. He is on top of me in seconds. I can no longer breathe and I close my eyes, hoping that he will stop soon.

His grip on me vanishes, but his arms are replaced by Gale's. He is holding me back from something and my eyes fly open. I look down to the tunnels to see Finnick and Peeta down there being attacked by muts. Peeta went down to help Finnick hold them off. I try with all my strength to go save them. I know that they won't make it out of there. Tears come streaming down my face. I yell at them with all of my voice. My throat becomes raw. Gale keeps holding me back as the other members of our group close the hatch, sealing their fate. I continue to scream and cry in Gales arms.

I hear my name being yelled in the distance. It seems to be getting closer.

"Katniss! Katniss please!" Some one with much smaller arms is holding me now.

"Katniss!"

My eyes fly open to see Annie hugging me; trying to bring me back to her. I try to say her name but my throat is raw and it comes out as more of a gurgle. My heart is racing and my body is shaking in fear. I search her face to make sure that she is real.

"Katniss, its okay now. I'm here, shhh. It's not real. It's okay." Annie whispers as she holds me in her arms. She repeats it over and over again and she rocks me back and forth.

I try to control my rapid breathing as Annie continues to comfort me. I feel myself begin to calm down. I realize that there is a group of people around us. I recognize a few of them as people that Annie has said hello to in passing. I have never had a breakdown like that in such a public space before. They must be parents of other children. I guess Annie had them come over to block the view of passers by.

"I think I'm alright now, Annie. I just need to sit here for a few minutes." I tell her. She loosens her grip on me and she leans back to look at me. She must think that I am okay now because she smiles at me. Her face is still full of worry, but she also shows understanding. She nods once before she stands from where she was kneeling in front of me. I watch as she politely thanks her friends for their help. She tells them that I am okay now and just need space. Annie comes back over to the bench and sits down next to me. The rest of the people disperse from the scene. A few glance at me before they leave.

"When was the last time that you had such a violent flashback?" Annie asks me.

"I haven't had one that bad in a few months. I have had a few since then, but normally I can pull myself out of them." I worry that I am getting worse instead of better.

Annie opens her mouth to say something, but quickly closes it. She shifts her position on the bench so that she is fully facing me.

"After the games," she sighs, "I used to have flashbacks all the time. They were like the nightmares that haunted my sleep, but they happened while I was awake. They were horrible and Finnick was the only one who could break the trance." She pauses before continuing, "He understood what I was going through and he was so gentle with me. They finally started to go away before the quarter quell. He had to leave to go back into the games and I lost it. They took me to the Capitol and they came back, stronger than ever before. Listening to Peeta and Johanna being tortured made it worse. When I was reunited with him back in District 13, he was there and they began to go away again."

She looks at me and gives me a soft smile, "Everything changed when I found out that he was dead. I lost all hope and I had no desire to keep moving on with my life. I didn't want to live without him. You're mother was actually the one who was able to break through to me. She told me that Finnick would not have wanted me to end my life and our child's just because he was gone. It made me rethink things. My focus became Finn and he made everything good again. I still have nightmares now and then, but Finn has become my anchor." Annie reaches and grabs my hands, "You need to find your new anchor Katniss."

Annie and I walk through the market, stopping at little booths along the way. It reminds me of the Hob back in District 12. We get some food for the days ahead. Annie goes over to the fish booth and I follow behind her. I see something sparkle out of the corner of my eye and I stop walking. I turn to see a booth with jewelry and pictures.

"Annie, I'm going to go look at this booth for a little bit." I tell her.

"Okay, I'll be over here." She smiles at me before turning back to the fish booth.

I walk over to the booth. A tall man stands behind the table. He has short, bleach-blond hair from many days spent in the sun, and deep green eyes. His skin is tanned, with a dusting of freckles across his face. The man smiles at me and leans down to rest his elbows on the table.

"Hiya Katniss." He says. How does he know my name? Oh, right. I forget sometimes that I am somewhat of a celebrity. Being a victor of the Hunger Games and the leader of a war can do that to people.

"Hi,..." I realize he didn't say his name.

"Chris, sorry, I thought I said that. I guess not." He laughs. I smile at him. "What brings you to District 4?" He asks.

"I'm visiting with Annie O'dair."

"Oh yeah. Little Finn is getting so big. That kid makes me laugh. He looks so much like Finnick. I wish he could have met him."

"Did you know him?" I ask.

"Yeah, he was my best friend when we were kids."

"Oh, I didn't know."

Chris sighs, "Not many people knew. He didn't want people to find out because he wanted to keep me safe from the Capitol. I miss him so much. I didn't get to see him often, but when I did it was always so great." He looks down for a moment before returning his gaze to mine. "Geez, that's one way to meet someone; bring up all the sad shit in your life."

I laugh, "We all have those moments."

"Hey, that's a pretty necklace." He reaches out and touches the pearl that hangs around my neck. "Where'd you get it?"

"Peeta."

"Wow, I am really bad at conversation starters today. Sorry about that."

"It's okay."

"Hey Chris." Annie shows up next to me. "I see you've met Katniss."

"Oh, hi Annie." He stands up from his current position to greet her, "Katniss and I have just been chatting. How are you, I haven't seen you in a while."

"I am well. Would you like to come over for dinner tonight? I bet Finn would love to see you."

"That would be awesome!" Chris looks over to me and smiles. "See both you lovely ladies at dinner."

He gives my hand a tight squeeze before he lets go and Annie and I walk to more booths. I look over my shoulder at him and see him watching me. I blush and my cheeks become hot. I quickly turn and follow Annie back through the market.

When we arrive back at the house, there is a letter in the mailbox addressed to me. It's from the Capitol. Weird. I bet it's from Gale. I sit at the kitchen table and open it.

Katnip-
I hope that you are having a good time with Annie and Finn. I just wanted to let you know that I am going to stay in the Capitol for a little while longer. I am on an investigation team and we need some more time. If you want to stay there for a few more days, that would probably be good. Johanna called the other day, before I left. She said to give her a call when you can. I think she wants to see you. I miss you and can't wait to see you again.
Love,
Gale

I wonder what he's 'investigating'. He has never had to stick around in the Capitol for more than a couple days. A chill runs through me and raises the hairs on the back of my neck. Something in his writing seems off. I can't place my finger on what it is though. I realize it is because he never, ever writes that formally. I cross my arms and rub my forearms with my hands for warmth. It's nothing, I try to convince myself, you're over thinking things as always. A little voice in my head protests, but what if it isn't nothing?