Author's Note: Hi everyone! I am extremely sorry for the ridiculously long delay on posting a new chapter. I finally figured out a solid storyline for this fanfic and I am already working on the next few chapters. My goal is to post a new one at least once a month, if not sooner. I hope you enjoy!
Please review! I love to get feedback!
Chapter 7
Katniss POV
The warmth of the sun on my face causes me to smile. After the embarrassing episode that I had when Chris came over for dinner, I was afraid that I would never see him again. It has been so difficult to come to terms with Peeta's death, but I finally feel that I might be able to move on. Chris has been so kind to me and he never questions my strange behavior. He is so kind. I only wish that I didn't feel this guilt.
The market is full life and wonderful smells. I walk down the street past the various stalls until I find what I am looking for. Chris sits on a bench to the left of a grain merchant. He is deeply engrossed in a book that he must have found at the local bookseller's stall. He doesn't hear me approach and I am sure to be quiet on my feet.
"Fancy meeting you here." I say as I take a seat next to him. He startles, nearly dropping the book entirely.
"Katniss!" He breathes, clutching his chest, "I didn't see you coming! How have you been?"
I smile, "I've been great. It's been so nice to spend this time with Annie and Finn." I look away, breaking eye contact, "I'm so sorry about the other night. I never intended for you to see me like that. I never meant for anyone to see me like that. I promise it won't happen again."
He gently pulls my cheek so that he can look me in the eyes again, "I never want you to feel ashamed for how you react to the torture that you've had to deal with in your life. The Capitol ruined every chance of a normal life for you and I know that you have seen horrors that you will never speak of. I want you to feel free to express your emotions without any feeling of regret." He leans in close so our noses are almost touching before he adds, "I will NEVER judge you, EVER."
I smile at him as I lean into a hug, something I never thought that I would wish to endure again. I feel safe in his arms, like nothing can harm me as long as I am with him.
The sun is setting over the water as Chris and I stand on the pier. His arm is wrapped around my shoulders adding a comforting weight to me. I never thought that I would like to feel the touch of another man after Peeta's death. I'm glad that I have found someone who can bring me the same sense of peace.
"Katniss?" Chris pulls my attention away from the melodious sound of the waves hitting the shore.
"Hmm" I reply in content.
"I am so happy that I met you. I am eternally grateful for our friendship." His eyes move from the horizon to meet with mine, "Will you let me be more than a friend in time?"
I don't know what to say, "Chris, I..." I try to find the words I need, "I would love that, but I am not sure that I am ready to make that type of commitment. I don't know that you fully understand what you would be getting into."
"I know that this will be difficult for you, but I just want you to know that I am here for you. I am fully aware of how you felt about Peeta. I know that he meant more to you than you let on and I would never do anything to diminish those feelings." He grabs my hands in his, "I don't wish to replace him, only to bring you the comfort that you deserve."
I smile up at him and he leans in closer, seeming to ask if I am okay with this. I lean in to meet him, accepting his comfort. Our lips meet in a gentle kiss. Warmth fills my body. It reminds me so much of Peeta. The moment is sweet and kind and passes quickly. Tears stream down my face as we break apart. I look away ashamed of what I have done. Chris backs away and leans on the rail once again. It's been three years and I still cannot get past my love for Peeta. Part of me just refuses to let go. It's too soon.
"I'm so sorry." I whisper. "I...I can't." Wiping my eyes, I turn away. "I have to go, I'm sorry."
I rush down the pier, back to the sandy beach. Chris calls after me, but I know that I cannot look back. I feel so horrible leaving him there like that, but I just can't handle the way I'm feeling. I need to talk to Annie.
It is nearly dark by the time I make it back to the house. Annie's soft voice floats down the stairs as she reads to Finn. He must be going to bed. I venture to the kitchen to grab something to eat. The phone rings, startling me. I rush to pick it up as to not disturb Finn.
"Hello?" I answer, trying to keep quiet.
"Katniss!"
"Jo? Is that you? Do you know when you will be arriving!"
"Yes, it's me. Katniss there is no time, something has come up in the Capitol and I won't be able to visit."
"What happened? Is everything okay?"
"I received an urgent call from Gale. I'm sorry but I can't tell you anything. I don't even know much myself."
"Jo, you're scaring me."
"Gale will call you soon, don't worry. He said he would tell you himself. Just tell Annie that I'm sorry and I will make sure to visit once I am back."
"Alright. Please keep in touch."
"I will."
The line goes dead and I cannot seem to control my breathing. I must return to District 2, gather some of my things, and head to the Capitol myself. I can tell that something is wrong and I'm not about to wait to hear from Gale. He treats me like I am breakable, as if one wrong word will send me into a whirlwind of tears. No. I am as strong as I have ever been. Nothing will ever break me again.
"Katniss?" I turn my head to see Annie behind me.
"Annie, I have to leave. Immediately."
"Why? Who was that on the phone? Was it Gale?" she rushes over to me.
"No, it was Johanna. Apparently something has happened in the Capitol. I can tell that its bad and I need to be there. I don't want to be left in the dark."
"Are you sure that you want to do this. You've just begun to feel better, I'm not sure that it's such a great idea.'
"I'm sure Annie, and I can't wait to see if Gale will ever call me about it. I just have to go" I lean in hugging her adding, "Jo says she's very sorry that she won't be able to make it. She said that she will visit as soon as she can."
Annie hugs me tightly and we are silent for a moment. She lets out a breath, "If this is what you think is best. I'm going to miss you."
"I wish I could stay. This vacation has been amazing." I meet her eyes, "I will let you know about everything I find out. Please tell Finn that I love him and I will be back as soon as I can."
"Of course I will." she replies. "Do you need help gathering your things?"
"No, but could you find out when the next train is leaving?"
Annie nods her head, grabbing the phone to call the station. I rush up the stairs to the room I have grown to love. I through my clothes into my bag, not caring to be neat. Chris. I need to tell him that I'm leaving. At the desk, I find a scrap of paper and a pen and scribble a quick letter to him.
Chris,
I am so sorry to tell you like this, but something came up and I am needed in the Capitol. I wish I could see you again before I leave. I am so sorry for leaving you earlier today, I feel horrible. I would love to try a relationship with you, but I need to take it slow. I will be back to District 4 as soon as I can.
- Katniss
I fold up the note, grab my bag, and run down the stairs. Annie is right where I left her in the kitchen.
"The next train leaves in ten minutes, if you run, you will be able to catch it." Annie tells me right as I walk in. She lunges in to hug me tightly. "Be safe."
"Thank you, Annie. For everything. I will be back soon I promise." I hand her my note for Chris, " Can you please get this to Chris and tell him I'm sorry?"
"Of course" She gives me one last smile before I am out the door, running to catch the train.
The train comes to a stop at the station in District 2. I made it to the train just in time to board before it left. I need to run to my house, grab some new clothes, my peacekeeper uniform, and replace the what was in my bag. I snap on my communicuff and adjust the pearl on my neck. I look in the mirror, attempting to make a face that appears strong. I have come a long way in the past three years, but I still have a long way before I will feel whole again. I pull on my fathers hunting jacket which creates a barrier of protection, giving me strength. I grab my bag once again, and run back to the station. Thank heavens the train hasn't left yet. I hop on the same empty car I arrived in and settle into my seat just as the train lurches forward.
A light breeze ruffles my hair and I open my eyes. I find myself sitting on the beach in District 4, the sun's rays shining down on me.
"KATNISS!" Prim's voice calls to me from the water. I stand and see her splashing in the water. "Come swim with me!"
I run down to the water, feeling the sand move beneath my feet. Prim smiles at me from the water and I run faster. Just before I reach the water, another voice sounds from behind me.
"KATNISS!" I stop in my tracks and look back to see Peeta standing where I ran from. "Wait for me."
"Okay." I say to him, turning back to the water. I watch Prim jump over the waves, bouncing with happiness. I go to step into the water, but I feel my feet sink into the wet sand. I can't move. Prim slips under the water. She bobs back up screaming, struggling to stay afloat.
"PRIM!" I try to move from my spot, only to find that I can't move any of my body at all, slowly sinking further into the sand. "PEETA!" I yell, hoping he can save her. My body rotates to face him, only to be surprised again. Peeta is forced to his knees by two peacekeepers, one on each side.
One of them yells to me, "Kill him, or she dies!"
I can't do this. what are they talking about? Suddenly I find myself holding a bow and arrow, aimed straight at Peeta's heart. I can't shoot him. I can't. Prim's screams become gasps for air, slipping under the water for longer and longer periods of time. I can't let her die.
"Do it Katniss." Peeta struggles out, "Please. Save Prim."
"I can't" My head feels like it is going to explode. I meet his eyes as my had releases the arrow.
My eyes snap open, my hands grasping the seat. It was just a dream. None of that was real. My heart feels as though it is going to beat out of my chest. I take a deep breath looking out the window. I can see the Capitol in the distance. I will be there soon. Focus Katniss, you need to be ready for anything. My heart slows to its normal pace and I brace myself for what is to come.