The wildflowers tickled my arms and caressed my hair as they danced in the breeze. It was one of the first nice days of the year, and the sun shone down on me like a warm blanket. My eyes were closed, and I was pretending that nothing existed but what was with me here in this moment. A breeze carried subtle hints of honey and lilac under my nose, and my lips turned up in a small wistful smile.
I already knew that this little excursion to the meadow would prove to be a big mistake, but I was too tired of focusing all of my effort on ignoring everything that had the potential to hurt me. Jacob never seemed to have any time for me anymore, not with his duties from the pack, and without my personal sun around, I could feel myself inevitably begin to shut down again.
I couldn't bring myself to regret it, though. Not then, at least. Even if I would have to pay for this tonight, it was all worth it just for this moment. I could pretend that Edward was lying next to me, just like he used to, and that the sweet scent I could smell really was coming from him. Plus, when I had first entered the meadow, I was presented with a green field lush with flowers and life, looking like it could be a picture of last spring. Mixed feelings of delight, pain, and longing had swirled through me, and I stood there for a few moments, taking it all in. It was a good thing, I finally decided. I didn't think I could take it if my paradise had been dead and empty like the last time I had ventured there.
"Bellaaa," the wind sighed. Velvet notes caressed my name as it circled through the air.
"Hello," I whispered, careful to not disturb the mellow peacefulness sheltering me.
"Bella," my name sounded again, and this time I could hear it coming from a spot right next to me. It sounded more alive, more real, than before. I kept my eyes shut, not wanting to break the fragile illusion that had formed. Cold fingers traced over my open palm, and my heart sped up. A musical laugh sounded throughout the air, with notes more beautiful than any song I had ever heard. Well, maybe except for one.
Edward began humming my lullaby, and everything I thought I had believed in suddenly turned around. With the manner he handled the song, it did not seem possible that he didn't want me anymore, not possible that he didn't love me. But then, I remembered that this Edward was just from my head, just what I wanted to see and hear. It's nice to dream, though, I thought.
"Will you stay with me?" I asked, and the raw vulnerability in my voice clawed through my throat. When did I become this weak? I supposed I knew the answer to that, though; when he left me.
"Bella," he said, and with the reverence in his voice, I couldn't help but believe his every word. "I never left." As he spoke, however, his words began to fade, as though he was drifting away.
I opened my eyes, and the illusion broke. He wasn't anywhere to be seen or heard. The sun still shone as brightly as ever, though, and my skin was warm for once. I stood up to leave, and cast a final look over the meadow. The flowers seemed to wave goodbye, swaying in the breeze, and as I picked my way through the woods, a certain sweet scent followed me home.