A/N: Here we go guys! This is it, the final part! My amazing beta reader has okayed it and I'm hoping you'll all get to check it out before the new episode tonight so there's no overlap! I know it's been okayed but at the same time I'm really worried you guys won't like the Jordanna break up! It's just to me...it seemed really unrealistic that Hanna would decide to run off to New York after being kidnapped, I know she's probably repressing stuff but still...I'd be scared to leave the freaking house! SO. Yeah. I'm still having a debate about continuing this, purely because I don't want to be writing with no end goal in sight or no idea how to end this and then end up abandoning it! SO if you could all let me know what you'd prefer...
Option A: I carry this on either by myself or with the show and try to puzzle it out.
Option B: This is it. It's done
Option C: I mark this down as complete...then do a separate fic for each episode that needs "fixing" as it where!
I'll watch the new episode at some point tomorrow (Wednesday) when we get it on Netflix and take your comments in to account before deciding what to do :)
Thank you guys so much for being so supportive and welcoming, and for all the reviews and feedback and encouragement, it's blown me away 3
Caleb was staring, and he knew it was probably incredibly creepy, but ever since his conversation with Spencer, he couldn't stop imagining her in the dollhouse. Imagining what could have happened to her in the dollhouse to give her that look in her eyes. Couldn't stop imagining what had happened to her in the past 24 hours to give her that look again. Emily had left not long after Spencer. She'd been going to stay, but Mona had convinced her to leave Hanna to her. Although Emily hadn't taken all that much convincing from what he'd heard of the conversation as he came back in to the apartment. Caleb was sure that like himself, Mona didn't want Emily around Hanna right then, not when the other girl was feeling so resentful. Caleb knew she didn't mean it, but he knew Hanna was picking up on it, and he didn't need anything else making her feel terrible. Once Emily had left, Caleb had gone searching for Hanna. Mona had wrapped her up in a blanket like a small child and settled her on the couch, with an array of foods scattered on the low table in front of her. Hanna was staring at the blank TV screen with an uncomfortable amount of intensity.
"Hanna?" Caleb said, softly so as not to startle her. Hanna flicked her eyes from the screen to his, and he felt his blood go cold at the emptiness in them. "Han, are you okay? Why don't you put the TV on?" She didn't reply. She just went back to staring at blank screen. Although he was fairly certain she was seeing something he wasn't. Like whatever had happened to her over the past 24 hours on a loop. "C'mon Han, I'll even watch that movie you like without making a joke…the one with the pink on the cover and-!"
"They all have pink covers" Hanna said in a monotone voice.
"I think Caleb means Legally Blonde, your fave movie like ever" Mona chirped as she entered the room.
"Caleb knows what Caleb means, okay?" he said. He'd been hoping to bait Hanna in to a conversation, nothing irked her more than him mocking Legally Blonde, in any way shape or form. He frequently described Legally Blonde as the "the one with the pink on the cover" and refused to say it's name. Normally she would have jumped on his comment and reamed him out for it before lecturing him about the movie and it's positive portrayal of blondes but…..nothing. He didn't even think she'd heard him properly.
"I think we're past the time for whatever it is you where trying…and failing to do" Mona whispered to him as she passed him, before settling on to the couch next to Hanna.
"I was going to sit there, Mona"
"Oh I know, I just don't care" Caleb glared at her. Before he noticed Mona side eyeing Hanna for a reaction. She hated it when they bickered, but Mona's plan hadn't worked either. Mona turned to her next plan…food, while Caleb became lost in thought.
He knew what the burns where from. What they meant, but he didn't know what else had happened to Hanna. She wouldn't talk about it, not to him, not to Aria and not to Mona. All of them had tried, and gotten nowhere. Hanna wasn't saying a word. He knew he shouldn't push her, he had to let her open up about it in her own time, but the wait was killing him. His brain was on overdrive imagining all the horrifying scenarios he could conjure up. He was so engrossed in his thoughts that he didn't notice Mona trying to get his attention until she threw a Twizzler at him.
"What the hell Mona?! That's perfectly good candy….." he trailed off as Mona kept looking pointedly at Hanna. Hanna was staring at the blank screen, without really seeing anything. But now her breathing had started to speed up again, almost like she was about to have a panic attack, and she kept repeating "no" over and over, sounding more panicked each time. Like she was stuck in a waking nightmare. Shit. I dropped the ball again. Dammit Caleb.
"Mona put the movie on. NOW. It'll distract her….I hope" he said as he moved closer to Hanna.
"Han? Hanna?" no response. Screw it. Caleb picked her up off the couch, sat down on it, and placed her in his lap, with his arms wrapped tightly around her as she started to flail around. He started to murmur nonsense in her ear, while Mona fiddled with the DVD player. Considering how smart Mona was, she spent an awful long time trying to work out how to use it. He thought he heard her sniffle but he wasn't sure. Eventually Hanna began to calm.
"Caleb?" her voice was a whisper.
"Hanna?" he peered down at her face.
"I'm safe right?"
"I'm here aren't I? You're always safe with me, you know that. Now follow my breaths" He felt Hanna nod against his chest, felt her start to breath with him until her breathing was back to normal. He expected her to pull away but she didn't.
They sat like that for the rest of the day, with Mona next to them, watching chick flick after chick flick, anything for Hanna to focus on so she couldn't fall back in to her thoughts again. Eventually Mona had had to leave.
"I have to go, but I'll be back when I can. Something's wrong Caleb…really wrong. I mean I'm not surprised but…"
"Yeah. I know" he replied, distracted. Mona just nodded at him, and made her way out, having already said goodbye to hanna.
"You can go too you know" Hanna's voice came from the couch, where she was curled up.
"I'm good here"
"When I said you can go, I meant leave. Now"
"I know, I just chose to ignore it" he smirked. She scowled.
"Look Caleb, I'm really tired and I just want to be alone okay"
"Not okay, I'm not letting you out of my sight again. Besides….I need to talk to you"
"Didn't we already do this today?"
"I'm not wasting any more time Hanna. I spoke with Spencer. Ended things"
"Good for you"
"Hanna-"
"I'm engaged Caleb. What do you want me to say?"
"I want you to admit that you don't love that guy as much as you love me. You and I both know your reasoning for that kiss was bullshit. You love me. I know you do. And I love you" Hanna wouldn't look at him.
"I destroy everything, Caleb. Look how many times I've ruined things with us. And I will again. A or no A. I can't do it again Caleb. Every single time we argue, every single time we break up, or you walk away from me…it breaks me more and more"
"So you'll marry a guy you don't love?"
"I do love him"
"No Hanna, you don't"
"Yes. I do." she said vehemently.
"You're deluding yourself Hanna, you want someone who you think can give you a normal life, but you'll never have a normal life, not after everything you've been through. He could never begin to understand you. Whatever you have with him…it's nothing compared to what we have. And you don't destroy everything Hanna, I'm as much to blame as you are okay?"
"Everyone around me gets hurt. Because of me. It's all my fault. Emily resents me because me being here means Ali's in danger and that's my fault. You leaving me in New York, that was my fault too and-"
"No Hanna, I was stupid and immature okay, that was me. I screwed up,I never should have left you like that, I regretted it but it was too late and -" Hanna was shaking her head.
"I don't want to talk about this anymore. Could you just leave please?" he noticed her hands shaking.
"No"
"Caleb"
"No Hanna. I told you. . .You"
"Because I've never heard that one before" She sniped.
"Hanna I-"
"CALEB!" she screamed at him. Caleb sat stunned. Hanna was breathing hard, tears filling her eyes.
"Oh Hanna-" Caleb rushed over to her, wrapping her in a hug, she tried to fight him, but he kept holding on until she gave in. He held her as she sobbed, he didn't know for how long. Eventually she fell asleep and Caleb smiled down at her fondly. He adjusted his hold on her, then carefully got to his feet, before carrying her in to her bedroom. He tucked her in and just gazed at her for a few minutes.
"Goodnight Hanna" he whispered, kissing her on the forehead. "I love you".
Caleb went back out to the lounge and settled down to sleep on the couch. Much as he wanted to stay close to Hanna, even he realised watching her while she slept was creepy, like that sparkling dude from that movie Hanna made him watch. It took him a while to fall asleep, all he could see was Hanna in the dollhouse. Hanna in the photo that AD sent. Hanna hanging in the bell tower. Hanna breaking down. Hanna running back through the rain to get to him, but the apartment being empty. Him gone. Her heart breaking. The images played on a loop, older memories joining in. When he broke up with her. When she found out he'd been spying for Jenna. Over and over again.
"Dammit" he punched the couch.
Hanna was wide awake in bed. She'd woken up not long after Caleb had tucked her in. Like without him there…she didn't feel safe enough to sleep. Not it wasn't like that it…it was that. She stared up at the ceiling. Caleb's words repeating over and over and over. He was right. That's why she was so mad. He was right. And it wasn't fair to Jordan. She liked Jordan, but she couldn't deprive him of the chance to meet someone who cared about him as much as she cared about Caleb. She just…..she wanted to be normal. But that was never an option for her. She was scared of screwing things up with Caleb again, but she didn't have the excuse that he was happy with Spencer to argue with anymore. She couldn't keep ignoring her feelings. The entire time she'd been kept in that barn all she had wanted was Caleb. She'd wanted Caleb to hold her and protect her and make everything okay. She hadn't thought about Jordan at all. Not until Caleb had shoved that ring in her face, and that was not how she should be thinking if she was going to marry Jordan. It should have been him that she'd wanted not Caleb. She couldn't ruin Jordan's life by keeping up this engagement with A running about willing to harm anyone she cared about. If she stayed with Jordan he would get hurt. Because of her. Because of a girl he was in love with….who didn't love him back quite as much. Maybe if she'd never had to come back to Rosewood, things would have been different. But then…..she and Caleb wouldn't have been reunited.
Caleb…..He was in just as much danger as Jordan would be, but unlike Jordan, Caleb knew everything. He knew what to expect, knew to be prepared. Hanna briefly wondered if she would ever be able to push Caleb far enough away that he'd be safe, but he'd been different today. He'd been….more like the old Caleb. She'd missed that Caleb. She also knew that Caleb would never, ever leave her to face A on her own. He kept telling her over and over again that he wouldn't leave her but he'd said that before and still done it. She loved Caleb. She wanted to take him back. But she found herself….not quite as trusting of him as she'd always been before. I guess we'll have to work on that. She thought, it took a few minutes for the thought to sink in, and once it had…she knew what she had to do. She picked her phone up from the night stand, scrolled through her contacts but hesitated before she dialled. I can't meet him in person, if I do he'll see all the marks and he'll ask what happened and I can't tell him. But if I do this over the phone…I'll be the worst person ever. Hanna debated with herself internally. It's better if I stay away from him, then he'll be off A's radar. No. you where engaged, you have to do this in person. Hanna thought about leaving Rosewood, travelling to New York, all by herself. Strangers everywhere. Any one of them could have been the person who grabbed her. Could have been the person who tortured her. She was fairly certain it hadn't been Mary Drake. The figure seemed….taller. Masculine. The thought of being alone, in New York, the city she loved so much…..made her blood run cold. Made her palms start to sweat. Made her heart rate speed up. She couldn't, she couldn't do it. She made up her mind. She snapped the bedside light on, went to Jordan's contact and hit FaceTime. She needed Caleb. She needed him right now, and she needed to let Jordan go.
He answered after a few minutes, looking strangely wide awake.
"Hanna?"
"Jordan, hey. Look we really need to talk"
"So you finally decided you want to talk to me?"
"I'm sorry, I know I've been terrible lately?"
"Only since you've been to Rosewood"
"Yeah, well it'll do that to you. Listen I'm going to be spending a lot more time here, and-" Hanna's voice cracked.
"Hanna? What's wrong?"
"I…..I need to break up with you"
"What do you mean, you need to?"
"I mean, that while I've been here I've realised that I don't feel for you the same way you feel for me and it's not fair to you. To let you marry me. You would never get to be truly happy, because-"
"Hanna, why don't you come back here and-"
"NO. No I can't. I can't leave Rosewood. I don't feel….I mean….I can't….I don't…. I-I-" Hanna felt herself start to panic.
"Whatever it is, I can fix it, I would move heaven and earth for you"
"I know and I'm so sorry, but you deserve to be with someone you deserve, and that isn't me. I was clinging on to you to try and have some sort of a normal life, but that's not an option for me and it never has been and it's not fair to keep trying to use you to get something unachievable"
"Hanna-"
"I'm a one woman wrecking ball, I destroy everything, I can't let you get caught up in that. It's not fair to you. Everyone was supposed to get what they want but I-"
"Hanna you're not making sense, don't do this, I love you"
"I don't love you" she blurted out. "I mean, I love you but I'm not….I'm…." she trailed off. Jordan's expression had changed.
"This is to do with your ex isn't it?"
"What? No"
"It is. I knew there was something between you two" he seethed.
"Jordan this wasn't supposed to-"
"Keep the ring, I don't care what you do with it"
"Jordan, at least let me explain, I-"
"Goodbye Hanna"
"Goodbye" she whispered.
Well that could have gone a lot better. Hanna took her ring off and placed it on the bedside table, then wiped under her eyes. She stared at the for a few minutes…she felt a weight lifting off her shoulders. She rolled on to her back and tried to drift back to sleep, tossing and turning. It was no use, she couldn't sleep with the light on. She so desperately wanted to sleep….to fall in to nothingness. She stared at the lamp. She could do this. She was tired anyway, she'd fall asleep in no time. She was better than this, stronger than this. She took a deep breath, reached over and flicked off the lamp. Hanna lay there, eyes shut, attempting to sleep, memories of the barn clamoured to at her, she tried to force them away. Again, and again. She opened her eyes, all she could see was darkness. Surrounding her.
Closing in on her oppressively…claustrophobically. She'd been kept in the dark in that barn or whatever it was, never sure when the next blow would come. Unable to see her hand in front of her face. Doused with freezing cold water. Shocked. Hanna felt her breathing speed up. The blanket Caleb had wrapped around her so lovingly wasn't comforting anymore, it was constricting. Gasping for air, Hanna launched out of bed and blindly swatted at the wall looking for the light switch. The light blinded her, but she didn't care, it was better than the dark. She wrapped the blanket around her, her breathing calming. She curled up in the corner of the room, back to the wall, eyes on all the entrances and exits. So she could see what was coming. She thought about Caleb beyond that door, she knew he was still here, she'd seen in his eyes that he meant what he was saying. He wasn't going to leave. But hadn't he said that before and still left? She thought back over her conversation with Jordan. She'd done the right thing. She couldn't let it go on any longer, couldn't keep him in danger any longer. She knew it wasn't fair to Jordan, if she had been able to, she would have done it face to face, like she should have, but right now she didn't think she'd be able to leave her apartment, let alone the state. He could be really happy with someone else, someone who thought that he was her soul mate. She knew Caleb was her soul mate. They always found their way back to each other. He was made for her. She would never love anyone like she loved Caleb. He wanted her back, he'd spoken to Spencer, ended things. He was here, with her, making sure she was okay. But how long would it be before Hanna screwed everything up again? She wasn't the same person she was before, she wasn't sure she'd ever be. She wanted Caleb, so badly, right then. To comfort her, but she was scared to call out to him. Scared to break the silence. But she didn't have to.
"Hanna, are you okay?! I saw the light on and…." Hanna looked up at Caleb as he trailed off. He was staring at her with love, and sympathy and a swirl of emotions too fast for her to read. As she stared up at him and locked eyes with him she knew….she knew she'd take him back. She knew she made the right choice. No matter that she knew she'd screw things up again, she would do it because she loved Caleb. He made her feel safe in a world where she was never safe. He always came for her, always saved her. She knew she could never let him go. "Caleb" she whispered. He came towards her carefully, picked her up and carried her over to the bed. He placed her down, readjusting the blanket so she was snuggled inside it, then made himself comfortable, before pulling her back towards him, wrapping his arms around her. "Go back to sleep Hanna"
"But Caleb-"
"I know." They stared at each other.
"I called-"
"I know. I heard you. I was worried someone was in there with you so I listened"
"Caleb-"
"Shout at me tomorrow, you need to sleep"
"Stop cutting off my sentences!"
"Stop talking" he retorted.
"But I need to-"
"We'll fix it in the morning okay?" She nodded against his chest, before closing her eyes. It wasn't long before Hanna was asleep.
Caleb smiled down at her. She finally looked peaceful. Caleb had heard her voice, and moved from the couch to just outside her door. He'd heard her side of the conversation with Jordan and he knew she'd ended things. He should feel triumphant, but instead he felt incredibly sad that Hanna had been so damaged that the thought of leaving the apartment to go to New York had sent her in to a panic. He remembered how much she had loved the city, and he vowed to get her back there again one day. She would need to after all, when she signed Lucas's deal. Caleb would help Hanna heal. They'd take it a step at a time. He knew she'd open up to him eventually and pour out what had happened, but he could be patient until then. She'd be back to her normal self in no time, all of this a distant nightmare. They would be okay. He had his Hanna back and he was never letting her go again.
