Homonyms

*~Szayelapporo Grantz~*

Welcome, writers, and prepare your pathetic minds for the infusion of perfection that is my teaching. Although your feeble attempts will never reach the pinnacle of perfection that you should always crave, yet you should continue to attempt it. Always be ready to learn from your mistakes, because, I assure you, you will continue to make mistakes. We can't all be perfect.

Ahem. Now, today we will talk about homonyms. These are words that sound the same when spoken but appear differently when written. It is simply horrific how so many writers cannot tell the difference between three completely dissimilar words. In particular, and our examples for today, are the words "peek," "peak," and "pique."

Nnoitra: You're just making up words.

Szayel: No, I'm not. You'd be surprised how many times Fan Fiction writers use each of these.

Nnoitra: I've never seen anyone use the last one.

Szayel: That's because most of them use one of the first two when they mean the last one. That's the point of this lesson.

Nnoitra: *Snorts.* Whatever. Everyone knows what they mean.

Szayel: ... shut up and go away.

Now, our first example, "peek," is usually a verb, and it means to sneak a glance at something or someone furtively, especially from a hiding place where the object being viewed doesn't notice the viewer.

Nnoitra: You mean like what Gin does all the time with his cameras?

Gin: I'm not peeking; I'm watching. It's completely different.

Nnoitra: How is that different?

Szayel: Both of you shut up! I'm teaching here.

"Peek" can also be a noun: to take a peek at something. This is similar to "peak" in that it can also be both a noun and a verb. The difference is that "peak" is usually a noun and "peek" is usually a verb. "Peak" refers to the highest point of something: you can say that a character reached the mountain peak, or that his excitement peaked at a certain point in a battle.

The last word is the most important; this word is the single most abused word in Fan Fiction-dom, with how seldom it is used! I can't begin to list all of the times where someone has used the word "peak" or "peek" when they meant "pique!" In fact, the correct usage is so rare that I will automatically like a story more, even if everything else about the story is terrible, if the author simply manages to just once use "pique" correctly.

Nnoitra: Passionate about this one, are we?

Szayel: Shut up! You have no idea of the pain I have endured in having to actually read some of these stories in preparation for what should be a very simple lesson! The pain! The agony!

Gin: *Snickers* You were reading some of the steamier stories about yourself and Nnoitra, weren't you?

Szayel: I WAS NOT!

Nnoitra: Wait, what? What do they write about us?

Szayel: Nothing! Back to the lesson.

You've all doubtless read the turn of phrase where something "piqued his interest." The word to use is pique! It means to provoke or ignite an emotion! You can't "peek" someone's interest. It doesn't even make sense! Don't you people use dictionaries?!

Aizen: Calm down, Szayel.

Szayel: *Pant* Yes, Lord Aizen. *Clears throat.*

So that is our lesson for the day. Just because words sound the same when spoken doesn't mean that they are in the least related to one another in meaning. "Peek" means to look at something and can be a verb or noun. "Peak" means the pinnacle of something and can also be a noun or a verb. "Pique" means to arouse or stimulate, and it is ONLY ever a verb! Don't mix them up!

Ulquiorra: Actually, "pique" can also be a noun. If a person feels pique, it means that he feels irritation.

Szayel: ...

Ulquiorra: ...

Szayel: I hate all of you.

A/N: I feel like Szayel would be a very boring teacher myself. Either Nnoitra or Grimmjow will be up next. :)