Hadrian waited too long. Thinking he was having some bad dream, he crashed back into Smashley's bed. By the time he woke up, it was near nine o'clock. Her parents still hadn't some come yet. But the village was already bustling with activity.

After snatching his tunic and taking out his pants from Smashley's dresser, Hadrian steps in them and sneaks out the back door of her house and stalks his way through the alleyways all the way to Hiccup's house. He uses the cover to pull on his tunic, then sneaks between two houses, slinking to one side of the road up to Hiccup's house.

But just as he reaches the first step, the world takes an alarming turn. Hadrian stops dead in his tracks and clutches his head. The liquor was affecting his brain. He staggers to his knees and grips the step, digging his nails into the stone. He opens his eyes and the world is out of focus. This makes his stomach lurch.

"Hadrian!"

He flinches as the word rattles his skull. Knowing it's Hiccup, Hadrian forces himself to his feet. He tries to focus on the feet that come towards him, but they move too fast for his vision. He squeezes his eyes shut and wills his vision to focus. He sidesteps this way and that, and just as he thought he was going to crash, Hiccup pulls him into his arms. Over his shoulder, Hadrian can see Stoick and Gobber in the doorway. Despite his embarrassing and rather degrading position, he glares at Stoick.

"Where were you?" Hiccup presses. "Are you okay?"

"I . . . I can't . . ." Hadrian struggles to say. He grips the back of Hiccup's tunic, his feet slipping on the stone. Then as his head drops on Hiccup's shoulder, his overwhelming scent of wildflowers and a calmness spreads through Hadrian, he lets go in Hiccup's arms.

When Hadrian wakes, he barely makes it to the garbage before the white liquid boils its way up his throat. It burns more coming up than going down, and takes worse, then adding the thought of waking up in Smashley's bedroom. He's on his knees trembling and sweaty by the time he stops vomiting, but at least most of the stuff is out of his system. Enough making its way into his bloodstream though, enough to result in a pounding headache, parched mouth and boiling stomach.

Hadrian manages to draw himself a bath and sits in the warm cocoon of water before he realizes he's still in his undergarments. Hiccup must've just stripped him of his old ones and tucked him in bed. Throwing them into the bucket, Hadrian grabs the soap and begins to scrub himself. He covers himself from head to toe in suds, before he leans over the side of the tub and throws up again. It's mostly just bile and he scoops up a handful of water, swishes it around in his mouth before spitting it into the grass.

Once he finally feels clean enough, he steps out and pulls on a towel, ignoring the rest of his dripping body and hair. He lazily pulls on a fresh pair of undergarments and crawls between the sheets; surely knowing this is close to what it feels like being poisoned. He sits with his arms across his knees and his head resting on his forearms. The footsteps on the stairs send a new shock of panic through him. He's not ready to face Hiccup about everything. But he needs to pull himself together, show Stoick that he's strong.

It's a struggle to force himself to move his head. It already growing used to his seated position, but he does, pushing his wet hair out of his face. Trying to ignore his throbbing temples, he braces himself for the confrontation. Only Hiccup appears in the doorway, holding tea and yak jerky, his face full of concern. Hadrian opens his mouth to say something, planning to start off with some kind of joke, and bursts into tears.

So much for being strong.

But it is just Hiccup, who oddly enough has now become the only person in the world Hadrian is certain he trusts and cares for in any way.

Hiccup sets the tray on the end table and crawls up next to Hadrian, holding him, making quiet soothing sounds; just as he did when Hadrian had that nightmare, until Hadrian is mostly cried out. He then gets a towel and dries Hadrian's hair along with any other exposed skin he can reach, while trying to coax some tea and jerky into him. After he helps Hadrian dress in some warm pajamas, he layers more blankets on him and Hadrian drifts off again.

Telling by the light coming in through the skylight, it's around late afternoon when Hadrian wakes again. There's a glass of water on the end table and he gulps it down thirstily. Hadrian slowly shifts and places his feet on the floor, gazing at the wood. He circles his eyes around and turns his head from side to side. Things still feel a little rocky, but way better compared to before. He stands and dresses then pulls on a thin jacket feeling a little chilly.

Before he heads down, he pauses at the top of the stairs. The infectious feeling of embarrassment springs a leak in his chest as he thinks about the way he handled losing Lightning.

The mere thought alone striking his very heart with pain.

Downstairs, Hiccup was sitting by the fire; Toothless sprawled at his feet, reading a book. He gets up and embraces Hadrian again, but not overly emotional. Hadrian knows he's simply holding back to make things easier for him. Which is sort of a good thing if Hadrian's going to confess what happened last night – everything that happened. Looking at Hiccup's face, it's hard for him to imagine that he's the very same boy he wanted to kill nearly three years ago. The combination of that and all that has happened and followed – the dreaded demon Lilith, that battle they did on Berk, aiding him in the dreamworld, the training of the Valkyrie and now Lightening – all of which has aged his years. He's grown a bit too, they're nearly the same height, but given Hadrian's still a little taller.

He ladles out a mug of broth for Hadrian without comment. They sit there, almost peacefully, sipping their broth and watching the sunlight pierce through the many cracks in the wood. Small specks of dust dance in and out of the beams. Hadrian finishes his broth when he decides to speak, and it pleases him to hear his voice smooth, with an occasional need to clear his throat.

"So, how bad was it?" he asks. "Give me a category."

"I don't think I can. That's the first time I've seen you drunk. Along with Heather's explanation of what happened at the shop, I was actually worried you would come home." Hiccup replies.

It was made to be a joke, but it hurts Hadrian. Both the fact that Heather came to him and that he was scared Hadrian would come and harm him. All of the liquor in the world wouldn't make Hadrian hurt Hiccup. He's proven his friendship when he resurrected Hadrian, and long after since. Besides, this wasn't his fault to begin with. The only thing that would've happened was that he might've gotten hurt preventing Hadrian from ripping at Stoick's jugular; which in a sense only adds to the fact that it's good he didn't come home.

"Gobber upset?" Hadrian asks, propping his feet on the table and tipping back on his chair.

"Eh," Hiccup answers.

"What's that mean?"

"In a way, I think he understands. I mean obviously he doesn't have that liquor there to simply raise a toast to the sharpening of a good sword." Hiccup says.

Hadrian chuckles and rubs his hair. "So uh, Heather came by?"

"Yeah."

There's a moment of silence before Hadrian continues. "What'd she say?"

"She only said that you ran off into the rain after you two had an argument."

"Oh."

Hadrian's rather relieved and yet curious as to why Heather left out their kiss, that of which is one of the few things crisp in his memory from last night. Of course she could be embarrassed, but why? Not like Hiccup will forbid them from seeing one another, or maybe she thought he's get mad at her for telling Hiccup. Whatever the case Hadrian wanted to know, but he can't go see her knowing she's still fearful of him. And that he had spent the night at Smashley's. The very idea of Heather finding out makes his heart skip a beat. Hadrian's not stupid; he'll have to tell her since she's bound to find out sooner or later. And he had to prevent Smashley from bragging to the other girls and have Heather overhear.

One hurdle at a time.

"So, where'd you go after you left the shop? You obviously didn't come home." Hiccup asks as he readies to sip from his mug.

"I want to tell you but, you can't get mad."

Hiccup raises an eyebrow in attention. "What?"

"Smashley and I . . . we kind of hooked up last night." Hadrian speeds through the words, but it was enough that Hiccup heard every word. He chokes on his drink and coughs viscously. Hadrian walks over and pats his back until Hiccup stops coughing.

"You what?! How drunk were you?!"

"Enough that I woke up without my clothes, and she walks out of the bathroom wearing my tunic." Hadrian says.

Hiccup squeezes his eyes shut and groans running his fingers through his hair.

"Yeah." Hadrian says.

Hiccup sighs in aggravation. "Well maybe now she'll leave you alone. And go off bragging to her friends!"

"Look I feel bad, but I was intoxicated and Heather and I -" Hadrian stops himself before going any further.

"What?" Hiccup interrogates. Hadrian's silent. "What? Come on, tell me!" Hiccup urges excitingly.

Hadrian sighs. "Okay, she came to see me, and given I had gone through two bottles by that time, some things were said, she was wet from the rain and, we ended up kissing."

"Shut up. No way." A smile creeps along Hiccup's lips so wide it looks like a grimace. "You two kissed?!"

"Shut up! You'll tell the whole village!" Hadrian hisses, but he's smiling too. "Yes we did. But after that she smartly rejected me, given I was drunk and I guess I was still upset about Lightning," Hadrian pauses as his voice catches. "So I just ran over to Smashley."

"Unbelievable." Hiccup says, his smile slightly fades. "Are you going to tell her?"

"I don't know. It was one time, one drunken mistake, and I don't want her to think I'm a jerk."

"Well, not to alarm you but, Heather's smart. She assumed you went somewhere. I mean think about it. You were drunk, emotions raging, and she rejects you. She probably predicted this." Hiccup explains.

"Maybe." Hadrian says, he turns and gazes into the firepit. "I just hope she doesn't get mad."

"Well, in a way, if she knew it was going to happen, she really shouldn't be mad." Hiccup points out.

"But girls can be emotional. She'll start talking about one of those 'read between the lines' garbage." He taps his fingers along the side of his mug. "She'll find some reason to be mad with me."

"Hadrian, I told you, Heather's smart." Hiccup assures. "She'll probably be more concerned about your kiss if anything."

"Please stop saying that we kissed." Hadrian asks.

"Why?" Hiccup smiles slyly. "It's cute."

"I don't know it's just, I don't think she'll want to bring it up. I was drunk."

"Well do you remember anything else?" Hiccup asks.

Hadrian pauses. "Some."

"Like?"

"Nothing you need to know." Hadrian says getting up from his seat.

"Aw, come on! Now I'm curious!" Hiccup says.

Hadrian places his mug in the sink and turns, resting against the basin. "Since when are you the gossipy kind?" Hadrian questions.

"Since I've learned you might actually like someone." Hiccup teases. "Come on."

"Hiccup, its' nothing. Nothing I want to talk about." Hadrian dismisses. He goes and sits back down at the table, propping up his feet. "So, to change the subject, how're things with you and Stoick?"

Hiccup swallows thickly. His body goes rigid, and Hadrian can see this. He simply waits for Hiccup to answer his question. Hiccup takes a deep breath and sits down next to Hadrian.

"As you can well imagine, we had a fall out after you left." Hiccup explains. "Some things were said, and I, in a way disowned him."

Hadrian sits forward in his seat, dropping his feet and leaning on his elbows to his knees. "What? What's that mean?"

"It's hard to explain, but he did the same thing to me when he found out I was keeping Toothless a secret." Hiccup says. "If you'd seen you would've understood."

"No, no I get it." Hadrian murmurs.

Hiccup looks to him and he can see a look of hurt and sorrow in Hadrian's forest eyes. A small bud of warmth and happiness blooms at Hiccup's core. Who'd thought that they'd become so close after all they've been through.

"It was all a waste wasn't it Hiccup?" Hadrian suddenly asks.

"Hadrian," Hiccup scootches closer. "To do a good thing in the world will come back to you."

Hadrian's face hardens. "Lightning will never come back to me, Hiccup. He'll be forced to live in that horrible place until he dies or is beaten to death." Hadrian sniffles. "It's so unfair."

Hiccup folds his lips in. "Yeah, it is."

"He'd be better off free. Flying again in the wild. Rolling through the wildflwoers." Hadrian smiles at the thought of Lightning rolling around, becoming covered in buds and sneezing at the pollen.

"So, I need to ask," Hiccup starts, folding his hands in his lap. He looks up to Hadrian. "What are you going to do now?"

Hadrian feels his heart skip a beat, his breathing becomes shallow as he sits back. What was he going to do? Go after Lightning? It's really what he wants to do, but it's too predictable. Stoick'll probably have Vikings guard the house and follow Hadrian anywhere he goes. Besides, he doesn't even have a plan besides breaking in, taking back Lightning, and fly off. And without delving more into the intricate parts of it, like how he'll defeat all for the Berserker and Outcast guards given he'll most likely be alone. How will he get there? Will he be able to make a hasteful retreat on boat? Could Hiccup be willing enough to lend him Toothless? Stealth on the island could be an option. But someone will notice if Lightning's out of his cage. Then there's the matter of Lightning's sanity, his trust. Hadrian had failed him. He let the Berserkers take him and he couldn't stop it. Maybe that's what pains him the most.

Hadrian sighs. "I'm getting my dragon back."

"How?"

"I don't know."

"Promising."

"I just need to have a valid plan. And you can either help me or get out of my way."

Hiccup's quiet before he swallows. "I could get the other riders." Hiccup suggests.

Hadrian smiles. "No, Stoick'll just see everything coming. He knows I'll try and go after Lightning, and he'll probably make sure some guards watch me twenty-four seven so I don't screw up the alliance."

"What if I lend you Toothless? He can get you to and from there easily at night."

"But once I get Lightning, I'll want to ride him, and Toothless can't get around on his own. And before you say anything . . ." Hadrian stops Hiccup's next suggestions with a halting finger. "You can't come along with me, Stoick'll be suspicious if we're both gone."

"I'll tell him we're going on a search and rescue mission. Those take two to three days, tops." Hiccup says.

Hadrian ponders over this thought for a moment. "Stock won't trust us going together anywhere for the next few days. He'll invite himself."

"True." Hiccup says as he rests his elbows on his knees.

"Which is why I'm not leaving."

Hiccup's head snaps up. "What?!"

"Not yet. I plan to, but I need to think of a better plan before launching head first into anything."

Hiccup slightly relaxes. "Oh. Wow, that's usually your thing, punching and ask questions later. You've changed." Hiccup smiles

"I know," Hadrian groans. "I've been hanging around you too long." He gets up and pulls on a cloak as he opens the wooden door. "I'll be back before lunch."

"Where you off to?" Hiccup asks.

Hadrian straps a leather sheath around his waist, and slides his two knives into place. "Hunting. Get out some frustration."

"Be careful." Hiccup says.

"When am I ever not careful?" Hiccup quirks an eyebrow. "Don't answer that."

Hadrian stays positioned in his tree stand as he watches the forest floor below. Even when he's a mere five feet up, there's no sign of movement yet, but he didn't care. He needed to clear his head. The fresh air helps to rid his senses of the rest of the liquor from last night and gives him a more open feeling instead of being cooped up the house. Bow in hand, he knocks an arrow and practices drawing back. After another hour of nothing, he climbs down and decides to scope the floor on foot.

He takes careful steps on the dead leaves, smoothly paces on pine needles and hops along pebble trails. He only manages to spook a rabbit out of is hiding place, and a squirrel that practically ran over his toes. They're not clean shots, but he's not trying. He urges to catch a boar or some other large animal so he can have a fight. It would seem fate isn't working with him.

He wanders back around mid-afternoon with both the rabbit and squirrel dangling from his belt as he heads for the butcher's stall. Trading the game for a good sized coin pouch, Hadrian slings the bow over his back and twirls his knife with his fingers as he makes the blind trek to the Gobber's shop. Lightning starts to invade his mind as he passes the Academy, Lightning's former cage empty. The blackness of the shadow overtaking the space, reclaiming it as the sun stretches it along the square. Hadrian lets the memories of Lightning swallow him whole.

Hadrian's mind is still clouded as he enters Gobber shop and walks in the back near the sparing room with its racks of weapons. Hanging his bow up, Hadrian can see gouged notches in the doorway where he most likely carved the date of Hiccup's birthday to track his growth.

The memory of Lightning burns within Hadrian, a bed of lives coals he swears he'll stop walking across. Grief rises, thick and hot, trying to suffocate him. Hadrian's eyes sting, and he digs his nails into the wood of the door as a single sob escapes him.

He will not break down again.

He will not.

He refuses to walk into the house with tear-stained eyes and trembling lips. Stifling the next sob that shakes him, Hadrian blinks away the tears and clenches his hands into fists. Lightning can't escape the hostilities of Outcast Island. Not without help.

Hadrian's eyes slide toward the still-open door of the sparring room as an idea – a ridiculous, bold, almost impossible idea – takes root. Lightning can't come home without help, and Stoick shows no inclination to take back his precious alliance. But Hadrian doesn't need his help. Not when he's spent years training how to handle himself in combat, smuggling weapons to the woods and making sure he could defend himself against any threat.

And not when he know how to rack.

The addition of Hiccup's willingness to help him is a tiny sliver of comfort Hadrian grabs onto with desperate strength. It pains him to admit it, but Hiccup is better at planning than he is. If anyone can help him – if anyone on Berk would want to help him – it's Hiccup. But with Stoick already suspicious of Hadrian going after him, the risk of getting caught in an escape attempt is high.

Too high to allow Hiccup to come along.

Hiccup will fight him on it. Probably hate him for it. But by Hadrian going alone, he already hates Stoick, so he'll have nothing to lose if he were to get caught.

But he won't.

The grief subsides, sinking beneath cold, hard purpose.

His hand finds the hilt of his knife and he begins to rummage through the weapons in the sparring room.