A/N: Hey guys! I have finished this episodes chapters yaaaay! There wasn't really much to work with, and I was worried I wouldn't be able to give you the usual four parts BUT I have managed it! I wrote SO much for last weeks episode and the chapters where really long so I'm afraid these are shorter because I essentially only wrote two chapters, but I decided to cut them both in half so there'd be more updates! I was waiting to finish writing before I updated which is why it has taken so long! BUT I needed to know how many parts I was gonna have so I could do this...
Okay guys, I'm gonna make a deal with you! SO there is now a two week wait for the next episode, so instead of uploading all four parts one a day, I'm gonna do two this weekend, because I'm going to be way too busy to update this coming week, and then two next weekend or I can spread out the final two parts over that final week? Sound good? Now here's the second part of the deal. Remember my lovely beta reader Emilie? Well she and I came up with a little plan. Because of that wait for updates when you usually don't have to wait...I want you to tell me which scenes you'd like me to re-write or fix from any episode you like, or any one-shots you'd like me to write for you! Someones already asked me for one one-shot and I'd actually planned to do something similar so that'll be coming soon! But yeah, let me know what you'd like!
I'm currently uploading a three parter of missing scenes from the fashion show episode, I'm going to write 7x01 from both Caleb and Hanna's POV tomorrow. I've got an idea for a new multi chap that I'm going to start writing this week, but that probably won't be posted until after this to be honest! And I've got some other one shots up my sleeve from Caleb leaving, to the Wren thing, to Ravenswood and so on and I'm willing to write and post as many as you'd like along with whatever else you request, so let me know :) Sorry if these chapters aren't as good as last weeks but seriously...NOTHING happened this episode!
Also, lovely Guest, I do have Twitter, but it's my personal one and I'm not sure I'm ready for everyone to know me! I do have a tumblr though, which I just started and haven't actually had time to make look fancy so it looks crappy but still! Link is on my profile!
Caleb made his way up to Hanna's apartment in a rush. He was late. He knew he was late. He was hoping Hanna wasn't back yet, because he knew she didn't like to be left alone as much as she tried to get rid of him. He'd been telling himself Hanna would be fine because she'd be with Mona. Mona wouldn't leave Hanna alone. But what if she had because she thought I'd be back any minute? What if they'd got a lead on the phone and Mona had just dropped her back assuming I'd be here and didn't know that I wasn't. His thoughts went around and around in his head. He felt awful, he said he'd only be a couple hours and he'd figured he'd be back before her. His stupid phone had died so he couldn't even let her know he was on his way. Caleb ignored the elevator and ran up the stairs, bags swinging from his hands.
He'd had no problems gathering his stuff together at Spencer's, it hadn't taken that long. Well it would have been faster if he wasn't dancing around humming to himself, but the happiness just wouldn't stay in. He was moving in with Hanna….sort of..but he'd take it. He'd carelessly thrown all of his clothes in to a couple of rucksacks and holdalls. Taking more care with his computer and various gadgets. He'd combed through the barn to make sure he had everything and then he'd taken the bags out to his car and shoved them in the back. Done. He'd been right on time. Mona had texted him to tell him that she and Hanna where going ahead with pinging the phone and that he wasn't needed and they'd be a little longer. That had pissed him off but he had to acknowledge that Mona was more skilled in that particular art than he was. So he'd let it go. Hanna would be with Mona..and Caleb still had stuff to do and now he had time to go all out. He'd driven to the store, and spent a long time picking out all the foods he knew Hanna liked and the ingredients needed to make more of the food that Hanna liked. Hoping that having her favourite foods to hand would entice her to eat a bit more, and it would make him feel a tiny bit better if she did. So he'd grabbed a shopping cart and loaded it up. By the time he'd checked out he was cutting it a little fine.
Mona had texted again to say she and Hanna had to 'go do something' and had refused to elaborate. She just said they'd be a couple hours but it wasn't exact and he wanted to make sure he was there. Maybe he'd gotten a bit too carried away with the grocery shopping. Not that he'd admit it to anyone except Hanna. Groceries stowed in the car he'd turned to his final task. Takeout. Hanna's favourite Tai takeout to be precise. The ultimate temptation for her. He'd wandered in to the restaurant and placed the order, and then had some time to kill while he waited. He'd been twitchy, figuring it was about time for Hanna to be back and starting to worry he wouldn't be there on time, he'd been repeating to himself that Mona would be there…Mona wouldn't leave her and he'd been pacing up and down in front of a row of store fronts, as he'd turned to pace back the other way on one of his many circuits…he'd spotted it. It was perfect. It was exactly right….in every single way. He'd stared at it. Sensible thoughts tried to crowd in to his head but he shoved them out. There would be a day when it was necessary and he wanted to be prepared. He didn't want to wish he'd gotten it. He wanted to have it ready. So he'd rushed in to the store. Luck had been with him. It took a little longer than he'd been expecting to sort out the details but he'd walked out of the store a little while later with it stashed away, feeling euphoric. He'd gone back to pick up the takeout, which hadn't been waiting that long. Then he'd headed back to the apartment. Hitting every red light on the way and getting stuck behind every slow driver. He knew he shouldn't have wasted time in that store but he couldn't…he couldn't walk away from it. He'd parked hurriedly and rushed out of the car. He hadn't seen any lights on in Hanna's apartment but he'd hurried up to it anyway with as many bags as he could carry. He'd grabbed his stuff, the takeout and as many of the food bags as he could manage. He figured he'd come back for the rest, shortly.
He finally made it to the front door of Hanna's apartment. He fished around in his pocket for the spare key, found it and put it in the lock. He bustled in and gratefully dumped the bags down on the floor, making sure to place the takeout on the table. The sound of the bags and his bustling must have blotted it out because once he'd placed them down, he'd turned to exit the apartment to go grab the rest of his groceries..and he'd heard it.
Panicked breathing, mixed with sobs and….his name? He was confused for a split second but then it clicked.
"He's gone…he's gone…he's gone…..Caleb….gone…"
Oh no. "Hanna?" Caleb called, reaching for the light switch. He fumbled around before finally hitting it and the lights flickered on, illuminating the scene before him. He swept his gaze around but it took him only seconds to spot her.
She was sitting with her back to the wall, clutching her phone in her hand, and holding it to her chest. Like she was hugging it. Tears washed down her face and her chest was heaving. He wasn't sure if she was even seeing him.
"Caleb…..Caleb please…" she choked out. He felt his heart clench and he swiped at his face. Dammit, when am I going to stop screwing this up. He could have blamed Mona and her lack of communication…lack of time frames but he knew he was really the one to blame because he'd spent too much time in that store.
"Han? Han I'm right here" he said calmly as he slowly approached her, not wanting to startle her.
No reaction. She continued to sob, calling for him again and again and Caleb realised she wasn't in the apartment. She was back in the barn. He slowly crouched down next to her.
"Caleb….help me…Caleb" she cried. He swallowed. He settled himself down on the floor next to her carefully, so he was seated as close to her as he could be without touching her.
"Han?" He said a little louder. "Han it's me"
"Please Caleb, I'm sorry….I'm so sorry I let you down, please" Caleb frowned, he wasn't sure this was anything to do with the barn. What? …oh. "Please come back, please, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Caleb please come back…please….please…please don't leave me" Hanna sobbed out. Caleb decided to chance startling her and he wrapped his arms around her pulling her swiftly in to his lap. He stroked her hair, feeling tears slide down his face.
"It's okay Han. I'm here. You didn't let me down. I'm right here" He repeated soothingly. Trying to make sure his voice sounded steady. He wasn't sure how long they sat like that. Him murmuring his apology again and again. Telling her he was there, that he wouldn't leave her again. I'm sorry Hanna, I'm so sorry. You where worried about hurting me again but I just keep hurting you. He felt Hanna's breathing slowly start to calm down as he held her tightly, stroking her hair over and over. Hanna shifted in his arms, tilted her head up to look at him. She looked exhausted, tears staining her face and he felt his heart crack.
"Caleb?" she whispered, "You came back" she smiled weakly.
"I never left Han. Not really, I got caught up with something and it made me late back, and I….I broke my promise to you. I'm so sorry Hanna, I didn't…I….I'm sorry" he struggled to find the words. Caleb tightened his hold, pulling her closer to his chest.
"It's…it's okay. I…I..the dark freaked me out, and getting up here alone..and I…then you weren't here and I…I thought…I thought you'd left me again. I thought you'd gotten tired of how….how broken I am. I-I-I Thought I'd let you down again." she whispered. Caleb closed his eyes and wanted to punch himself in the face. Actually..he wouldn't have to. Mona would probably oblige when she found out. Aria might even take a turn too.
"Hanna. Listen to me. You never, ever let me down okay. I'm the one who let you down. I shouldn't have left, I should have stayed and talked it out, leaving like I…leaving my phone it was childish and…and…rash and I regretted it but it was too late and then…" Caleb trailed off frustrated at himself. "I let you down then and I let you down when I left you in that room alone. I went along with the plan, it was my job to keep you safe, I told you I would. I should have stayed with you in that room, found a way to hide in there, I never should have left you alone. I should have been close. Then tonight…I thought I'd make it back in time, but I saw the…..that store and I… I keep letting you down Han. Again and again." Caleb moved a hand to cup her cheek, as she tilted her head to look at him. "You could never, ever let me down Hanna" he murmured, thumb stroking her cheek. Hanna didn't look like she believed him. He knew what she thought, and she was wrong. "One day I'll make you believe me" Caleb promised her. Hanna nodded absent mindedly and looked around the apartment with wide eyes, avoiding his gaze but making no move to get out of his hold.
"I….I….it was like the apartment vanished and I was in New York and then the….the barn and then New York. I don't know…..I don't…I panicked. I was already anxious and then….I couldn't find you. I checked the entire apartment but I knew you weren't here, and it was like New York all over again and-" Caleb opened his mouth to apologise again but Hanna rolled right over him, "No. Don't apologise again. I get it. I know you're sorry, I just….I'm sorry you came back to me like…this. I just…I freaked out. I thought you'd left me, and it's like my brain just….it took over it…it made me see New York and the Barn and it was like I was re-living it on a loop and I couldn't get out…until you." Hanna said the last part softly. She let out a humourless laugh. "What the hell is wrong with me? Lucas has this insane security system but I still….I still….I couldn't even get up to turn the lights on because it was dark, and I'm an adult who's terrified of the freaking dark. All I could think about was getting my back to a wall so he couldn't come up behind me, so I wouldn't be…wouldn't be vulnerable. Which is ridiculous because I knew no-one was here and….and….he couldn't get to me anyway because he's dead. I killed him. I buried his…I buried his body. Then I kept seeing….seeing…" Caleb squeezed her.
"Shhh Han, it's all my fault okay. There's nothing wrong with you" Caleb comforted. Hanna snorted.
"Seriously Caleb?"
"Well…okay, yeah. There is something wrong with you Hanna, but it's not something you should be ashamed of. Han…it shows you survived. All this terrible stuff happened to you….but you survived it. You're still here. You're still fighting. I know it's awful, I know it's hard. But you'll….we'll get through this. Together. It'll be okay" Caleb murmured. Hating himself for bringing Hanna back to this place when she'd been doing kind of good after her recent outpouring to Aria and Spencer and…him. Technically. "You even managed to leave the apartment to help your friends and prove to yourself you could" Hanna let out a weak chuckle.
"And look how that turned out" He felt her shudder and resumed stroking her hair, hoping to keep her anchored in the moment.
"Han. The dude had it coming. We don't even know who he really is. You have nothing to feel bad for. He tortured you. Who knows what he wanted to do to Ali, he was chasing her down in the woods so it can't have been good. He made her think she was crazy. He wasn't a good person."
"I know Caleb…I know but I still….I still…"
"After what he did to you, no-one could blame you for hesitating Hanna. Anyone would have. We've been over this Hanna. I love your big heart, but I also kinda hate it right now because it's making you feel horrible for killing a guy that was just….evil. You even…buried the guy" Caleb tried to keep the anger out of his voice. He still couldn't believe the girls had let her do it.
"I had to Caleb. I….it was like everything was happening really far away and I couldn't stop staring at him…in to his eyes. He was right in front of me and they moved him and then Mona was there and they'd….they'd dug a whole and I had…I had to do something. I couldn't just sit there anymore and I had bury him. I needed to. Because…because I felt bad and because I….I wanted to make sure he was dead. Make sure he was really there in that grave. I needed to see him be buried Caleb" Hanna whispered.
"I get it Han. I do. I just wish….you hadn't had to do it" Caleb said. Hanna nodded.
"I'm really sorry Caleb. For…for tonight and…and everything" she said, sniffling.
"Don't you dare apologise to me, you have nothing to apologise for Hanna. Not to me" Caleb said vehemently. "This…tonight..this was all me. I made a promise to you and I broke it and I'm….I'm so sorry Hanna"
"It's not your fault Caleb, you can't be with me every second of every day"
"No but I can try" Caleb said seriously. Hanna smacked him on the arm.
"Don't be stupid" Hanna said absent mindedly bringing up the hand that had ended up on his arm, up to his face. He leaned in to her hand. But before he could respond a voice rang out from the doorway.