K.C's notes: So the story is going to continue now. What will happen when the rest of the inquisitors companions wake up and find that she is bone? What about Corypheus?! Will he raise Skyhold to the ground or will he leave with the Inquiry and then cause everyone to panic when they can't find her? COMING NOW!
Chapter 2: The Kidnap of Hope
She did not remember neighing knocked unconscious and dragged out of the Jeep courtyard by some of Copyious's Tevinter minions. She did not know how far they had dragged her or war she now was. When Svetlana awoke she found herself in a dinghy feel. It was no more than 5ft wide and 3 ft long and it was making the Inquisitor feel like she was prematurely in a boffin. She started to panic a lot when she looked around and found that none of hey compatriots were with her, only a Shelton town in a corner of the dingy cell who's head had fallen to land at his decayed feet. Standing up, Svetlana was about to cash for help when she decided that it may not be a great idea. After all, the womb type of person might hear her and come to harm her instead of free beer! No. Svetlana resolved to free herself from the CEll before her captors came to question or like her.
She tried to pick the lock but because she was a mag and not a rogue she was unable to do so. She pulled a Haiti out of her hair and attempted to remember how Sera had picked the locks under the Chantry in Haven (before the whole town was gluten up by Corypheus and his archon)... For several moments she was still and quiet whilst she tried to lock the lock... But then the hairpin broke and jammed the for closed. Svetlana cursed under her bread and kicked out at the wall. Why was Sera so obsessed with angering nobles she hated rather that teaching her useful skills like lock-picking and artery? "Stupid Sera and her sandy nobbers" thought the inquisitor. She looked to at the window and began to wonder if she could climb up to it and squeeze out... But the walls of the cell were damp and full of Todd, so her attempts to climb were met with lurker success. The window, upon closer examining, was also booked shut with magical energy. The inquisitor screamed in anger and rattled the bars of her cell. She could only wait until her complainers launched their rescue attempt... The world looked bleak for Alabama.
Back in Skyhold the entire keep had been aroused by the blowing off the war horn. Cassandra ran from the courtyard up the Nikéstairs to where the war horn stood... But the inquisitor was already gone. The Nevarran Princess (76th in line for the throne of Nevarra) cursed and shouted for Cullen to join her on the tablets. The Templar commander heard her yelling and jumped out of his roll, flung on his trousers and ran shitless up onto the ramparts after untangling himself from his knitting.
"Cassandra! What has happened? Why do you look so hardly frightened and what is that letter you're holding in your hands?"the shirtless man stood close to Seeker Cassandra and they both stared in Abdul horror at the piece of parchment in the black haired woman's hair.
Cassandra unfolded the letter and read: "Inquisition. I, Corypheus, have stolen your larder! You broiled my plans in Haven and you turned all the grey wardens against me when you uncovered the plans of my servant - Magister Livius Almond of Vybranium - at Absinthe Fortress. Now I have sick you a crippling blow by kidnapping your leader and throwing your plans into disarray. Find me if your dare and we will come to some agreement on how to proceed from herewith! Do not be callous and date me!"
The letter was signed with Angering wax seal which showed the ancient royal crest of Devilter. Cassandra crumpled it and threw it over the side of the bagging area. Cullen looked at her in disbelief! How could she just throw away such and imposter piece of information!?
"NOOOOOOOOOP!"he cried at he tried to dive off the balcony area to retrieve the piece of parchment. He landed awkwardly and broke his keg, howling in pain as he clutched the parent in one hand and his leg in the other.
At this moment Solas and Sera both appeared on the scene together, Sera rubbing her eyes with tiredness and Solder still wearing his nightclothes. Upon seeing Cullen lying all shitless with his broken leg, Sera began to laugh uncontrollably and point at him whilst leaning against the tavern baulk. Solas found the situation altogether Less funny and enquired loudly,
"Why is Cullen injured, hurr? Why did the warn horn sound? Where is Svetlana?" Then he noticed that the archdemon was still trying to take offense at the opposite end of the keep - one of its wings was badly damaged and as salt it was difficult for the beasty to take off (this had happened at Adamant Fortress when Chief-Warden Cattle had blasted the archon off the precipice of the Fort with her magic).
"Quick! Kill it before it takes flight again!" Bellowed Solas whilst reaching for his STD. He rushed forward whilst Sera reached for her bow - which was in a nearby barrel because stupidity Cole had put it there for safekeeping so that nobody would die. Secretly Sera agreed with Svetlana (Las inquisitor) about Cole being out to get everyone - after her next plan against the nobbers, Sera decided she would target Cole for her pranks. Solas jumped over Cullen deftly as he rushed to meet the archdemon in combat; Cullen felt ashamed and altogether less of a nan as his broken and bleeding leg prevented him from fighting.
Solas hit the archdemon with a lighting billy which caused the gargantuan creature to brown and thrash in Odin. The archon thought it would be more than a match for a few humans, but the elf's magic had injured it's dad and so it was a little afraid and decided to put out the call to the darkspawn so that they would come and help. The archdemon screeched and caused the main router of the keep to crack, causing Dorian to fall out of bed and goodwill his arm. Unhappiness.
The archon bit down hard on the masonry of the keep and spat it towards Cullen and Cassandra in a blast of reddish magic. Cassandra dodged expertly but Cullen was already crippled and struggled mightily to get out of the way. It was all for nothing though as the red metric with masonry inside it came hurtling towards bin and impacted his fat. Cullen passed out with pain and Iron Bull's charger's came to pull him out of the rubble before the archon came to stand on Jim.
Iron bull himself Fran out of the tencommandments and - whilst still undressed from his night with the tavern wenches - charged the archdemon whilst holding a plank of wood with a male in it above his head. The archon felt the pain as the Qunari man brought the plank down onto his long tail... And knocked blackwall unconscious at the same time as he drunkenly began to haul himself out from his chef to help the fight. Blackwall's liquor bottle smashed in the floor and this would cause him a lot of emotional turmoil when he returned to consumation.
Vivienne heard the commotion but she did not want to disrupt her meditation so she spent a great deal of mental energy trying to ticket out the archon before he could fly away to Austin.
Cole was busy hiding in the tabernacle like a girl, though he knew the archdemon would not hurt him because he was secretly in league with Tevinter. That's why everything Cole did was engineered to shoot everyone in the Jeep. He took Sera's bow in order to disarm her and he stole the Inquisitor's own magical staff with the intent of using it to turn the Solas into a darkspawn at a later date. Cole secretly hated Sofas and wanted to see him cold and rotting in the Deep Toads. Cole could be Mary when he wanted to be.
Varric suddenly appeared on the bagging and leapt onto the archon's head. The toilet rotated and flapped its wings as it began to become airborne. Varric shot a couple of bolts into the creatures head and one of its ears came off before it Burka into the sky with Varric on its back.
Cassandra gasped in shock. Iron bull toasted in his nakedness. Cullen was almost dead but nobody was paying attention because BASIC HAD JUST BEEN KIDNAPPED BY THE ARCHON!
Cole came to administer some herbs to Cullen to stop his premature death (he had to keep up appearances or people would get autistic of him and begin to suspect his involvement with Tevinter.)
A few hours later, Varric's unconscious body was hurled into the cell next to Svetlana's own. They were both purifiers of Corypheus. Whatever could they do now!
But there was more reason to fear; the archon now had a personnel vendetta against Solas...And would stop at northings to corrupt him.
K.C's notes: OMG! Now Varric's been kidnapped too! Don't worry though, Cassandra and Solas have a plan. But what are the archdemon's plans for Dolad?