K.C's notes: I'd really love some feedback and reviews on my sorry guys if you've got the time! So the story continues with Dorian confronting Cole in the waters of Enavuris! And the hunt for Blackwall and Solas continues in Skyhold! It's all falling apart for the Inquisition!
Chapter 6: A New Threat
Krem and Cullen had descended at least twenty miles into the cess-pit underneath Skyhold when Cullen stopped and sighed,
"He's not down here Ken, let's just go back and say we couldn't find him or that he was dead and we couldn't carry his corpse with us. It's too hot down here and if I throw up one more time then I'll end up severely dehydrated fun a lack of bodily fluids!" Krem looked disapprovingly at Cullen, who had taken off his lions-mane jacket and had tied it around his waist because he was overheating.
"We can't just leave him! If he's down here then it's our duty to find him. Besides, I'm being paid for this!" Cullen's angry rage took over again - he had never really been the same after plunging off the balcony and then being ignored when he was injured. He lunged at Krem and the two started scraping on the narrow staircase. They created such a noise that something in the deep of the cess-pit stirred and started running maniacally towards the unaware duo. Cullen was yelling,
"Why should be go and search for that useless drunk when nobody cared when I was lying on the courtyard floor with a piece of masonry implanted in my back!? I hate all of you. You just use and abuse me!" He was trying to punch Ken repeatedly but the Tevinter mercenary's bored leather armour prevented the crazed ex-Templar from causing any real damage. Krem was really glad that he had chosen to help Iron Bull feel better the other day, with the wooden pole, or else he would not have had enough golf to buy his new armour. Krem mustered all of his strength and kicked Cullen in the groin, punching him in his bare chest as the blonde man rolled off of him and fell onto the platform a little way below the staircase. He was making noise and so Krem knew he was not unconscious and choking.
Krem resumed the hunt for Blackwall alone. He was much more efficient when he didn't have to work with other people and he often thought he would've made a better lone assassin than a member of mercenary band. He called for Blackwall and held the open bottle of Avvar wine in front of him, hoping the odor would waft into the labyrinthitis tunnels of the cess-pit and draw the Grey Warden out of whatever hole he was living in. It was not successful yet so Krem was getting angry, bored and considering axeing for more wages. He plodded on whilst doing maths calculations in his greed.
Cullen was still having a serious rage episode whilst he lay in pain on the wooden platform he had been tossed onto. He kicked around on his back like a cross between a tantrum child and a stranded tortoise. He tore the fur-maned jacket off from around his waist and threw it into a nearby dung pile...when suddenly his rage was curbed and replaced with sheet terror. A lone figure, too skinny to be Blackwall and with not enough armour to be Ken, was running towards where he lay with a shambling, erratic gate. Cullen stood up. He reached for his sword...But found that his struggle with Krem had left him disarmed and his squid now lay lost on the staircase above him. He readied his fists like a boxer as the shape came closer; Cullen could hear it growling and making odd jibbering slurping noises. He became very afraid and braced himself for a big fight.
When the creature was close enough to be seen, Cullen's fabric expression changed and a look of confusion rippled over his sturdy face.
"Solas?!" He said incredulously. "Is that you? You look awful! What happened to y..." He was cut short by a bloodcurdling shriek from the shambling creature and it stepped forward into the light (Krem had dropped a burning torch when he had been fighting on the floor with Currant). It was indeed Solas, but the blight he had caught from floating overlong in Archidemon ejaculate had made a cruel mockery of his appearance.
His face was ashen and cracked grey like darkspawn skin. His eyes were sunken and bloodshot. His fingers were raw from eons of clawing at the jagged rocks that lined the cesspit. Most of his clothing had been torn off and he was now only wrestling a few rags and a dirty loincloth around his waist. Oddly, he seemed to have lost his lower lip completely as well and Cullen - through his terror - remembered Mother Gazelle saying that Solas had taken to biting and gnawing everything that was left within his reach; Solas seemed to have gnawed off his own bottom lip! How distinguished! Cullen tried to run away as he knew that this was not the kind, spiritual Solas he had once known. Darkspawn Dolad was fully 'turned' and now death would be the only cure for him. He would only listen to the will of the archdemon these days.
Cullen failed at rubbing away. His leg was still weak from where it had snapped when he had leapt off the balcony after a letter from Corypheus...and when he attempted running, it broke again and the slim bone poked out of the skin. He screamed in pain and impending terror as Dolad descended upon him. The first thing Solas tried to do was to bite Cullen's nipple, but the ex-Template moved quickly and used his superior strength to shove Solas backwards so that he rolled off onto the floor. Darkspawn Solas started shouting jibberish and pulled down Cullen's trousers, causing Cullen to start loudly praying to the Maker. He tried to pull his pants back up and run away again...but it was totally hopeless as the material of his pants kept snagging on his protruding shin bone and causing him to fall over again in great pain, as Darkspawn Solas giggled terribly and gradually began to mount Cullen. Cullen - it seemed - had no option but to lie there and await his timely buggering.
A little way away, Krem had heard the echoes of the commotion and was running back towards the staircase to help. He believed that Cullen had found Blackwall and that - in one of his legendary Grey Warden drunken rages - Blackwall had tried to suffocate Cullen with his beard again. Rounding the corner though, Ken saw that it was something altogether more horrific and weird. Dolad was preparing to prod Cullen in the backside and Cullen was wearing no paints. Krem leapt into action,
"NOOO! Get off him you mutated ghoul!" The Tevinter hollered as he booted Solas in the groin, causing the darkspawn-elf to become seriously mad and start to kick Cullen's prone body whilst foaming at the mouth like a bog. The archdemon was telling him to spread his darkspawn taint by harming and buggering all of his ex-friends - and Josephine, who Solas had never considered a friend at all but needed to bugger anyway. Solas threw the abandoned bottle of Avvar wine at Krem and then proceeded to light Cullen on fire with the abandoned torch. It looked as if Solas would kill them both... Until a miracle happened.
Blackwall staggered out of a nearby cess-pit cave, attracted by the smell of the spilled Avvar wine! He tried to speak but a gruff and slurred noise escaped his hips instead,
"Brreeallllgggh" Blackwall garbled as he staggered forwards seemingly unaware of the scene unfolding in front of him. Solas however was now very aware and hissed in anger at the presence of a Grey Warden - his very blood beginning to tingle and soil at Blackwall's ever increasing proximity. Cullen saw that Solas was distracted and managed to crawl away a little, his pants snagging on a nearby dung stalagmite and ripping off his bodice completely. Part of his leg bone came off as well, but he was too afraid of Darkspawn Solas using it to bugger him with to cry out in Odin. Instead he remained quiet, biting down upon his bracers to keep silent through the agony, and allowed Krem to help him get out of Solas's immediate reach.
Blackwall by this point had noticed Solas's menacing approach and whiffy odor and, through his drunken stupor, his Grey Warden instincts kicked him. He raised the half-drunken bottle of Orlesian scotch in his hand and melodiously roared like an insane and battle-ready Viking warlord before downing the rest of the bottle in one gulp (this is a skill that had proven to be totally unique to Blackwall in Skyhold's many Varric-organised drinking contexts). Thence he charged at Darkspawn Solas with the empty and lethal bottle in hand!
Blackwall heroically and drunkenly smashed the glass bottle over Dolad's head causing Sofas to be confused but still angry. Solas tried to bite Blackwall but the Grey Warden lashed out violently and bonked Solas's nose, breaking it and causing his ear to snap so that it hung pitifully down one side of his face like a valiant soldier of love.
Knowing he was bested, Darkspawn Solas fled with crazed giggling into the cess-pit tunnels, still holding the burning torch and Cullen's shin bone. Blackwall spat on Cullen until the fire had been put out...but his saliva only fanned the flames due to its alcohol content. Krem put him out eventually by having to pee on him. Blackwall then left the cess-pit pit gayly after licking the rest of the spilled Avvar wine off the ground and Ken was left alone trying to haul Cullen's large angry and weighty swine out of the dank cess-pit. It was a victory. Albeit a small one. Ken dropped Cullen back off at the infirmary, got paid and then went to warn Josephine about the impending dancer of Solas.
Now if only they could get Blackwall to stay in his shed and come up with a plan to save Svetlana, Basic, Vivienne and Conundrum.
K.C's notes: I know I said Dorian and Cole would have a fight in this chapter but I got too carried away with the unfortunate development in Cullen's story. Will his leg ever revive? Will he go to rehab with Blackwall? Find out tomorrow!