Leonardo Pov

The obnoxious smell of bile is what I wake up to, and I curse rather loudly when I come to realize I'm sitting in a puddle of my own throw up. My head swims as I stand up, immediately falling back down. Legs weak and wobbly, I have to hold onto the wall for support, just barely making it to the bathroom before a wave of nausea hits me like a tsunami, and I'm bent over the toilet, releasing all of last nights alcohol into the bowl.

I strip myself of my clothes, bringing them into the laundry room. It isn't hard to start the washer, and then place the clothes in the dryer right after. This apartment was my home for nearly a year, I know it's ups and downs like the back of my hand.

Getting into the shower in the masters bathroom, I turn to the water to full heat, letting the warmth wash over me, not caring when the scorching hot liquid burns my skin. I take the time to reflect, letting everything in my world sink in.

It's well past two, the day being Wednesday. Karai's supposed to die in three hours, and I'm still not quite sure if I want to be there to witness her last breath. What would be the thoughts racing through my mind in that instant? Would I cry, or would I sit there, numb and emotionless? Would my heart ache and swell from the absence of the love Karai has given me every day for the past year, or would it decay and hollow, feeling as empty as it appears? I want to know the answers, but I'm too afraid to live the moment.

Never would I ever have imagined that I'd be put in the position where I had to chose whether or not I want to watch my fiancé die. Before now, I'd say yes in a heartbeat, because I want to be with her in her finale moments. I want my hand in hers to be the last thing she feels before drifting into a state of . . . nothingness. Now, though, I'm not so sure I can be there. The pain of it all would be too unbearable, and I don't trust myself; I've already been so out of control lately, I can only imagine what I'd do the second I heard that flat line.

"Aghhhh!" I let out a scream, pounding my hand against the shower wall repeatedly.

There's no escape from my sadness, it dances around me, singing a mocking tune that hisses in my ears, like a sinister cry for help.

I can't go to that hospital, I'll go home instead. Spend a few hours with my family, and then I'll go to Byerly building, and make the leap that'll change my life forever.

By ending it.

Clouds cluster in the sky, rain dripping down, pattering against the roof of my car. It's silent now, never mind the drizzling rain. I sit alone, staring blankly at the house in front of me, the one belonging to my family. Glancing up to the second floor, I peer into my bedroom window. Images of nights spent between me and Karai in that room come flooding into my mind. Dancing, chatting, massages, watching movies. Kissing, showering, sexing, me drawing her. We did it all—we were in love with one another, nothing in the world could stop us.

I open my door, anxious to get into the house, to get the day over with. To get this life over with.

The house is quiet when I enter. I don't bother to slide off my shoes before making my way to the kitchen, the usual gathering spot for my family. Sure enough, there everyone is: Raph, Donnie, Mikey, Dad, Claire, Jake, and . . . Karai.

My eyes widen in shock as I'm pulled into her arms. "Leo! Omigod, I was so scared! Where have you been?"

The gears in my mind are turning, trying to process this. Right now the doctors should be pulling her plug, and no one will have showed because I'm too fucking selfish to wish her goodbye. Instead, she's here, wrapping me in her arms, a worrisome expression playing on her face. "No . . ."Guilt is eating at me as I'm suddenly realizing just what I was about to lose. I'm realizing what I was ready to let go of. "You're supposed to be dead."

Karai Pov

"Well where do we think he is? He left yesterday morning at eleven o'clock and it's five o'clock the next day; he should be home by now, or at least be answering his phone," impatience fills Raphael's words to the brim of existence, boiling anger radiating off of his body.

Michelangelo, who sits beside me at the island countertop, rests his chin on the marble surface, his eyes glazed in fear for where his eldest might be. "You sure you can't track his phone, D?"

Shaking his head slightly, Donatello replies, "No dice. It's must be dead, or broken."

No one knows quite what to say. Leonardo's missing, and we don't have a clue as to where he is. I want to cry, because without him, I feel like a piece of me is missing. I can't cry though, not here, not in front of his family. Still, I will remain surrounded by empty feelings until my lover returns.

Across the table, Jake stands up, pushing his stool back. He his over to the fridge, his eyes searching for something. Clumsily, he grabs and drops a Coke, cursing under his breath as he bends down to pick it up. "Personally," the boy starts, taking a small sip of his soda, "I think that Leonardo is out fucking a bunch of sluts he found on the side of the street."

"Jake!"

"That comment was completely uncalled for."

"Leonardo would never cheat on me," I hiss, my eyes narrow, teeth clenched.

"You were in coma for over a month, kinda a let down in a relationship, don't ya think?" Jake's bitter tone is enough to make me ball my hands into tight fists.

"Oh, you little-"

"Shhh! Did you hear that?"

In the main room, the front door is slammed shut, and heavy foot steps come closer and closer.

Leonardo.

Hesitantly, I stand up, approaching the door slowly.

I'm still a few steps away when the door opens, and there he is, in a stained t shirt, his hair messy and untamed, just how I've always liked it. I hate the hair gel he uses as much as he hates the makeup I wear; we love each other just the way we are, we don't want the other to change, not in the least bit possible.

There's a stunned silence filling the air as our eyes meet and lock. The sapphire orbs I gaze into are filled with astonishment, confusion, and a hint of regret, even.

I can feel my face light up just at the sight of him, and I break free of my frozen-solid state, lunging at him with open arms. "Leo! Omigod, I was so scared? Where have you been?" I demand, refuted pulsing through my veins as I hold my fiancé in a tight embrace.

He doesn't return the hug, only stands in a stiff position, a look of pure terror sketched across his face, like an illustration created for all eyes to study.

I pull back, suddenly frowning. He beats me to the next line, his tone filled with guilt and disgust, "No . . . you're supposed to be dead."

What?!

My stare fixates on my hands gripping his left with enough force to move a mountain. It takes every fiber in my being not to scream. Or cry. Or puke. Or collapse on the ground like the weakling I am.

"We should talk upstairs," I mumble, my words just barely audible, "alone."

Leonardo nods, taking a quick look at the other faces in the room before turning and leading me up the stairs.

The walk to our bedroom is long and makes forever feel quick. But as soon as we pass through the door, as soon as the door clicks shut, I'm wishing we were back down stairs, where the tension between me and him under the watchful eyes of his family would eat at me like a starving pack of wolves. The seems like heaven compared to this.

There's a distance between us, not just a physical one, either. No, I can feel us drifting apart with every second dealt in silence, and that scares me. We've both put forth a high amount of effort into our relationship, so why is it crumbling before our feet?

He sits on his side of the bed, his legs swung over the mattress, feet touching the floor. He has the sheets clasped in his fists as he just barely rocks back and forth.

"What's with us, Karai? Why are we always at odds with each other?" His voice is raspy, as if it hadn't been used in years.

I shake my head, walking over to sit on my side of the bed. Our backs are turned to each other, we do not touch, our smile at each other's company. Something is brewing, what it is, I'm not quite sure of. Yet.

"I don't know, Leo. Why did I wake up from a coma only to find you not there?" My words are sharp, deadlier than my tanto.

"Karai . . ."

"No. No, just shut up. I'm done with your shit, I'm not taking this anymore." We're both surprised by my quick remark.

Tears prickle my eyes as I slide the twisted engagement ring off of my finger. I throw it backwards, hitting him dead in the back, without turning to look. He picks it up, though, I can hear him twisting around, shifting so that he can recover the abandoned item.

I stand up, moving towards our private bathroom. Leaving the door open, I begin to apply the makeup I'd left off today, turning on my flattening iron upon doing so.

His eyes are on me, they burn holes in the back of my head, heating up my neck like his touch would.

"Where are you going?" God, the boy knows me all to well.

I whip around, a sarcastic grin on my face as I make my way towards him. "I figured I'd hit the club, find a couple guys to screw. Nothing different from what you did when I was in the hospital," I spit as I speak, suddenly willing to broadcast my anger and impatience.

He leaps to his feet, eyes wide in argument. Denial is painted across his face like a pretty picture, and I'm anxious to hear the counterclaim he's mustered up. "Is that what you thought I was doing? That's where you think I've been, out fucking a bunch'a girls I found on the streets?"

I bit my lip as his eyes go from resentment to betrayal in a split second, as if someone had flipped a switch. But I don't back down, I don't cave in an apologize, not now. I've made it this far, there isn't any turning back now.

"I don't see a reason on not to believe that's what you've been up to."

"Well you're wrong."

"And you're a lying, cheating, disloyal bastard!" The insults I scream bounce off the walls, echoing like a lost cause.

"Call me what you want," his voice is low, and threatening would be an understatement, "but I am not disloyal."

Leo's face is firm, his lips in a straight line as he reaches for my hand. I try to pull away, but his grip is too strong. There isn't point in trying.

He slides my ring back on my finger, the action delicate, showing that he cares. His eyes soften, expression loosens to the point of relaxation. It soothes me some, just to see him so calm, despite the brief argument that may or may not still be taking place.

"I love you, more than all the stars and planets and solar systems and galaxies in the universe. You're my everything, and the last thing I could ever want is for you to give up on me like this. And if you really want to know where I was, I'll tell you." Leaning forward, Leonardo presses a kiss to my cheek, his rough lips soft against my skin. "I was at our former apartment, wasting away in bottles of vodka and miller light."

"But . . . why?" I whisper, reeled in completely.

My left hand caresses his cheek lightly, my right rubbing up and down his muscular bicep.

"Because I was told you were going to die, and I couldn't stand the thought of living without you. So, I drank myself numb." He brushes a strand of hair away from my face, tucking it behind my ear. "It's a good thing I came home."

"Why?"

"I was going to kill myself." I stumble backwards, the wind kicked out of me. Processing this is like trying to start up an old, broken computer; pointless. It's written right in front of me, plain across his forehead: suicide. He was going to commit suicide. Because I was meant to die.

"Oh, Leo." I collapse back into his arms, sobbing into his shoulder. He rubs his hand in small circles on my back, in an act of soothing me.

"I'm here, though, it was just a close call. Nothing more, nothing less." How can his voice be so calm when mine quivers?

"I could've lost you. I could've lost you!" The second time saying this, my voice roars. Anger and hostility courses through me as I pound my fist against his chest. How could he even think of leaving his life behind? Even more, how can love me enough to let that thought cross his mind? "You have such an amazing life, why give it up for the sake of me?"

"Because, Karai, our love is eternal, though our bodies are not. I was willing to make a sacrifice of it meant having you in my arms once more."

I don't reply, there isn't much to say. He loves me enough to end his life so we can be together. I'm sure I would've done the same in his position. If he had killed himself, I would've followed him into the next life, no doubt.

"I love you." He presses a soft kiss to the crown of my head.

"Love you, too."

Leonardo, much to my dismay, unwraps our arms from around each other. He sits me on the bed and kneels in front of me. Wiping away my tears, he smiles, his grin so wide I'm afraid it'll break away from his face, and float into the nothingness of above. "Say it again," he whispers, his voice delicate.

I smile, shaking my head slightly as I repeat the three powerful words. "I love you."

"Again, but louder, so everyone can hear."

Now grinning, I lean forward, breathing his air. "I love you."

Leonardo's low, hardy chuckle fills the room. "I said, louder, so everyone can hear."

"You are my everyone," I clarify as I slide off the bed and onto his lap.

"That's cheesy," Leo remarks with a smirk. His hands are on my hips, and he pins me against the bed.

My head tilts to the side as his lips near my neck. Letting my eyes fall shut, I let out a sigh of pleasure. His lips feel like heaven on my skin, pure and delectable. "But it's true. You're the only one I care about. Nothing else matters, not to me."

He pulls away from my neck, resting his forehead on mine instead. "One day, I'm going to give you more to care about."

"And what'll that be?"

"Our children." His eyes are locked on mine. He's solemn as he caresses my cheek in his hand, dead serious as he continues to speak. "We'll move away, to the country, and it'll just be us and our kids, no one else."

"What about your brothers?"

"They'll stay behind. Sure, we'll visit them from time to time, but we'll live in solitude, the peaceful kind."

I grin, ideas forming in my mind at this thought. "I like this plan."

"I figured you would." His lips meet mine for a fraction of a second, a mere peck, before he's into something else. "Now, finish getting ready. I'm taking you out tonight."

My heart flutters, skips a beat, leaps out of my chest. "Where to?" I'm more than open to this proposal. It hasn't been just the two of us in a long time, let alone a date.

"I don't know yet. But tonight, we're going to be what we really are: reckless teenagers. I'm gonna play the part of the attractive 17 year old good-boy-gone-bad, whilst you'll be the stunning 18 year old ruthless-with-a-big-heart girl that I've fallen for. And together, we'll be crazy and destructive," Leonardo smirks mischievously, putting me into a seductive mood.

"Sounds dangerous."

"Last I checked, your birth certificate read that danger is your middle name."

"And dork is yours," I shoot playfully.

Together, we laugh, Joy bursting out of us like fireworks. "Maybe," he says. "Now get ready, this town ain't gone wreck itself."

He hoists me up, pressing a gentle kids to my cheek before squeezing my hand and turning away. "Wait, where are you going?"

"To clear some things up with my family," he calls back.

Leonardo leaves me alone, with a smile plastered on my face. The promise that everything is alright to the core lingers in the air even after I'm in isolation, and the hopeful atmosphere lifts me off my feet, and drags my mind to fantasies of tonight.