ENTERING THE GAME

Chapter Six

"Something's Rotten in the World of Greyhawk"

David screamed bloody murder when the spider landed on him, knocking him down. It was a lot bigger than the rats, around the size of a Dalmatian dog. It looked like an enormous tarantula, but was bright purple in color. Its many red eyes glared at David as it snapped at him. He could see something dripping from its fangs, which looked like knives. Poison?!

The other three all froze for a few seconds at the sudden attack. Andy, remembering he was the best armed of the group and thus the least likely for the monsters fangs to touch his skin, forced himself towards it, swinging his sword wildly. He missed, and took a step back as it lowered itself to leap again.

"Get it off me!" David screamed. "Get it off me!"

Andy swung at it again as it leaped at him. The flat of his blade struck it, sending it flying towards Greg, who shrieked as he jumped back, swinging his weapon so that it went flying back towards Andy. "Hot potato!" he yelled.

"I don't want it!" Andy yelled back, swinging again. He cut off two of its legs. The crippled spider landed on its stomach and dragged itself to its web, where it hurried up it towards the ceiling. Tom, the only one that still had a torch, set the web on fire. There was a horrible high pitched scream as the fire ran along the thin strands of webbing. Tom jumped back just in time to keep from being showered by what must have been hundreds of baby spiders. He and Greg jumped about wildly to avoid them while David and Andy stomped on as many as they could.

"That's it! I'm out of here!" Greg said, turning and hurrying away while David and Andy were still stomping spiders.

"We're out of torches anyway," Tom said, hurrying after him. He and Andy had burning sticks that they'd lit into the fire, and that was now their only light.

David started to follow, then looked up at the ceiling. "Do you see the big one anywhere? Did we get it?"

"I don't see it," Andy said. Then something fell right onto his feet. It was black and charred, but it was clearly the large spider. Andy screamed and kicked it away as it tried to snap at his ankles. "It just won't quit!"

David stabbed it. "That should take care of it," he said. "I hope." He tried to lift his sword and realized it was stuck in the spider as he lifted the barbecued bug off the ground. "Oh gross!" he yelled. "Help me get it loose!"

"I'm not gonna touch it!" Andy said. "Whack it against the floor a few times!"

It took nearly a dozen whacks to get it completely free. Even then David's sword was now covered in black spider blood and guts. He held it well away from him in disgust.

"Watch it you don't fall on that or hit somebody with it," Andy said.

"I'd rather not watch it at all," David told him. "This world just keeps finding more and more ways to be disgusting, doesn't it?"

"You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred," Andy said.

"Oh, ha ha," David said, rolling his eyes at the Super Chicken quote. He tried rubbing his gory sword against a mound of old cobwebs on the ground. There was a clinking sound.

"What was that?" Andy asked.

"Spiders in this game are supposed to have treasure," David remembered. He lifted his sword. To his disgust, the cobwebs stuck to it. He scraped it against the floor. Much of it came loose, but not all. However, several small flat round objects fell out and rolled about.

David and Andy gathered them up. Three copper pieces, four silver pieces, two gold pieces, and two coins of some metal they didn't recognize. "I'm guessing this is electrum," David decided.

"Well, at least we got something valuable out of all this grossness," Andy said.

"Yeah," David said. "Hey! We should check the rats' nests! Rats sometimes have treasure too!"

…

Linda watched the dwarves walking away. Why was the girl wearing a beard? Was it that weird for girls to go adventuring that they had to disguise themselves?

She was very curious, but she was sure the dwarves wouldn't talk to her. The girl had called her a twit, and her brothers would probably be worse, especially when they realized Linda knew that their sister was a girl.

She shook her head, then decided while she was outdoors she might as well finish looking around the village. She'd seen everything but a few buildings up ahead and to the right. She started to walk there, then decided to take off her shoes and carry them. She didn't know how long they'd last, but she didn't want them to have holes in them before they were even on their way.

Five little boys ran past, dressed in rags and covered with mud. They were laughing and shouting and pushing each other. She didn't know what they were up to, but she knew boys sometimes acted really crazy when they were together, egging each other on to do mean things they normally wouldn't do when they were alone. They might decide to pick on her just because she was a girl. This made Linda furious, but her mother had told her that she needed to pick her battles, and only fight when it was very important or when she had to.

The next building was big and old and looked official. Town hall or something, maybe? Well, it probably wasn't very interesting, and since she didn't belong here in this world, it might be a good idea not to draw too much attention to herself. If she was asked where she came from originally, what would she say? "Oh, I come from another world, and I somehow got here by playing a game, but I don't know how it happened." She was sure that wouldn't end well.

Linda kept walking. Past the big old building was what looked like a feed store. She could see huge bails of hay and the place smelled absolutely awful. She heard a baa and then an oink sound. Yup. Animals were definitely kept here. Well, she didn't feel like looking at sheep or pigs, and decided to go back to the temple. As she approached the smithy again, she could hear talking mixed in with the clanging of hammers. Walking past, she looked in to see the two male dwarves pounding a big weird shaped mound of metal in a big fire. As she watched it slowly began to take on the shape of a big club or mace. The girl was working the bellows, and had soot all over her hands and forearms. The males had taken off their shirts, and were covered with sweat and grime. The girl, she was surprised to see, had done the same, although she had a heavy apron tied around her that covered her from chest to mid-thigh. Linda didn't see the blacksmith anywhere. Had he taken their money and told them to make weapons themselves? She'd never really thought about what blacksmiths did, but it seemed like they were supposed to work their forges themselves, maybe not even trust other people in their shops alone. She guessed this smith just didn't care. Or maybe the dwarves told him they'd do it themselves. Weren't they supposed to be really great at making weapons? Maybe they didn't trust a human to do it for them.

Well, it wasn't Linda's business. She turned to leave and bumped into a table with several horseshoes on it. The table wobbled and one horseshoe fell to the floor with a loud clang.

"Are all humans so clumsy?!" one of the male dwarves demanded.

"Wait, I've seen her before!" the other male said. "Are ye following us? Go way! We don't like humans!"

"Well!" Linda said, shocked that they'd come right out and put it like that. "Fine! I don't think much of dwarves either!"

"That's because ye're a twit!" the first male said. There was that word again. "Twit." What did it mean, anyway? Sounded really rude!

Linda glared at the dwarves. They glared back. While they were all shorter than Linda, the males were broad and very muscular, not to mention scary looking, and Linda looked away first.

She again turned to leave, being careful she didn't bump into anything this time. Instead she stubbed her toe on a horseshoe lying on the floor, lost her balance, and reached back for something to grab onto to break her fall. As luck would have it, she grabbed the apron the female dwarf was wearing. There was a ripping sound as the ties, unable to support her weight, snapped. Linda fell on her butt with the apron landing on top of her. The dwarf girl, now wearing only a short skirt and boots, squealed and dropped the bellows to cover her chest. The bellows hit the weapon they had been working on, sending it clattering to the floor. Her brothers quickly removed the bellows, which were now singed.

"We'll have to pay for this!" one of the males said.

"Not us! Her!" the other said, pointing at Linda. "And look at my mace! All bent on one side! Ruined!"

"What's all the yelling about?" came a voice.

"The smith!" one of the males cried. He hissed to his sister, "Hide your dugs!"

"Ye'll pay for this, human!" the dwarf girl hissed, grabbing her shirt and putting it on. Since she was covered with sweat and soot, her shirt was now filthy. "Oh, how ye'll pay!"

Linda gulped. "Would it help if I said I'm very very sorry?" The dwarf girl clenched her fists. Linda would have ran, but the males were blocking her way out of the smithy. She backed into the wall of the building and covered her face with her hands.

…

The priest fumbled in the pocket of his robe. He pulled out a large key. The lock was old and took a bit of work to unlock. He'd have to replace it one day, or find himself unable to get in. The door creaked open loudly. The dim rays of his lamp barely pierced the room beyond, which otherwise would have been in total darkness. He stepped inside, leaving the door open. If it closed behind him, he might not be able to get out without smashing the door, something he doubted he could do if he tried. He didn't like leaving the door open, someone might come by and see inside. It would be very bad if any of his acolytes found what he kept here, especially if they reacted the way he thought they would. It was difficult enough to get disciples these days. He couldn't afford to drive any off, or, worse, silence any.

He walked through the room, shining his lamp on an old incense burner here, a slightly bent tripod there. He lit an ancient brazier, which seemed to give off as much smoke as light. He looked over his discovery yet again, slowly, carefully, rarely touching it and then very gently. The slightest bump could be disastrous. He wasn't sure what he was looking for. Some way to open it, or get it to do something, but there was nothing. No switch, no button, no hidden lever. There seemed nothing to do but try trial and error. Of course, he wasn't about to do it himself. And certainly he couldn't expect to risk the health, lives, or even souls of his acolytes. But perhaps the unbelievers. They did not seem very clever, and did not follow great Pelor. Perhaps they had never heard of this thing. But if one were to perish while experimenting, it would be very bad. The others would no doubt seek revenge, and that would completely destroy his life's work. He'd have to consider this carefully.

He put out the brazier, made sure every last coal was out (the last thing he needed was everyone rushing in this room to put out a fire!) then, stepping outside the room, shut the door and relocked it. As he did he heard talking. He dropped the key back into his pocket and hurried towards the sounds. Had the unbelievers returned already? He'd need to make a decision soon, or they'd be leaving before he could get them to do anything. Wait. Was one of them complaining about a rat bite? Perhaps he could stall them for awhile, even if he fixed that elf girl's arm.

…

Andy sighed as he stepped out of the dungeons. He and David pushed the heavy stone door shut. It creaked loudly as it slowly closed.

"You guys stink!" Greg complained.

"So do you," Andy pointed out.

"I hope the priests planned for that," Tom said. "I don't want to stink until the next heavy rain. Whenever that might be."

"I don't want to stay in this world until the next heavy rain!" Greg told him. He looked down at his foot. "Where's that priest? I need cure disease or something! My foot's gonna fall off!"

"Too bad they didn't bite you in the mouth," Andy muttered.

"What was that?" Greg demanded.

"Cool it, guys," David said. "At least we're out of there, and we got some treasure."

"Yeah, but we probably lost most of it when we set fire to the rat nests," Greg pointed out.

"Well I sure wasn't going to go picking through the nests while the rats were alive!" Tom said. "Hey, you think they've invented soap yet in this world?"

"I don't remember it being one of the things you could buy," Andy told him. "I think they used some kind of lye or something for soap. Ate your skin off."

"Why did we think this world would be cool?" Greg demanded.

"The game didn't go into that much detail," David said, looking around as they walked for something to wipe his gory sword off on. This temple didn't seem very prosperous.

"Wonder where the priests are?" Tom asked, looking around. "You think this is their meditation period or something?"

"Who knows?" Andy told him. "I just want to get rid of this stink and lie down for awhile."

"I think I want that drink I ordered in the bar," Greg said. "Don't tell Linda. She's a real spoilsport."

"You seriously want to get drunk?" Andy asked.

"You sound just like her," Greg said. "Is she your girlfriend or something?"

Andy's face felt warm. "She's not my girlfriend!" he said, looking away, wishing he'd bought a helmet with a visor. He was sure he was blushing.

"Come on, guys," Tom said, now well ahead of them. "Let's find that priest. I want to get off my feet too. I'm exhausted."

"My foot!" Greg cried, suddenly limping again. "Is it turning black?! I'm gonna get you guys if I lose it!"

"I'm sure the priest can take care of it, if he can fix a broken arm," David said. "Let's get this over with. I want to get rid of this stink and lie down as much as the rest of you guys."

Still muttering and complaining, the four guys went looking for the priests.

…

Not finding Linda, Penny had gone back to her room and sat down on the hard cot, feeling sad and abandoned. It was like they'd all ditched her, like Andy was always trying to ditch her. He hadn't wanted her to come along with him. Okay, if she'd stayed at home she wouldn't be stuck here now, but then she'd've missed out on what was probably the greatest adventure any of them would ever see. She just wished she could do something about it. Darn ol' arm!

Depressed, she looked around for the toad. Where was it? She felt like crying. Even her familiar didn't want to hang out with her! She struggled to get up, which wasn't easy when she could only use one hand. Well, it was supposed to be hers, so it had better get used to being around her!

As Penny started off to look for the creature, she again missed noticing the little black cat, which had been watching her curiously from a dark corner of the room, before crawling up in a ball, yawning, and taking a nap. Surely Penny would notice it soon.

…

The "toad" had hopped to an empty room. Slipping behind the door, it polymorphed into its true form. It concentrated as it cast a spell. What looked something like a window opened in the air. "Master!" it hissed. "Master, I am here!"

A huge creature, looking like a woman with fangs, six arms, and a body that, a few inches below the navel, became a snake, suddenly appeared in the "window." "Well?" an unearthly voice demanded. "What do you have to report?"

"I have managed to take the place of the familiar of one of the strange group, Mistress," the little monster said. "A very young elf, a child, actually. I have no idea why she would be with the humans."

"An elfin child?" the snake woman said, tilting her head slightly to the side as if to think about this. "Are the others young or old?'

"I fear I have not yet seen the others," the creature admitted. "Although the elf girl has offered to introduce me to them once they return. They are apparently performing some sort of quest for the priests of Pelor."

The snake woman made a face. Pelor. She'd lost a lot of followers, human, orc, demon, and others, to followers of the sun god.

"She seems quite stupid, Mistress," the creature added. "Why are they so important?"

"That you do not need to know unless I decide you do!" the demoness said haughtily. It would never do to allow one of her minions to know that she herself did not have any answers. She only knew that a gate had recently been opened. A gate to an alternate material plane, and not any that she was familiar with. Certainly not Toril, which seemed the most common plane to connect to this one.

"What are your orders, Mistress?" the toad thing asked.

The monster thought about this, one hand stroking her chin, another scratching her bare stomach, a third snapping its fingers as if that would help her think. She ran the fingers of her fourth hand through her hair, tapped the floor with a long painted fingernail with the fifth, and absentmindedly stroked the hilt of one of her weapons with the sixth.

"Observe each of them," she said at last. "Learn their names and abilities and attempt to discover what their plans are, then report to me again tomorrow at midnight. But see to it they do not suspect that you are anything other than the elfin mage's familiar. Do not allow any of them to hear you speak except the girl, and be certain she believes she can only understand your speech because you are her familiar. Do not allow her to discover otherwise!"

"Of course, Mistress," the creature said, slightly bowing its head. "I will not fail you."

"See to it you do not," the greater demon said, "or I'll turn you back into a larva and feed you to a mane!"

"Of course, Mistress," the creature repeated, as the demon cut off contact. The toad face twisted in a snarl. "Of course…"

The demon crawled away from the mirror, snake like tail scraping lightly on the stone floor. Rehnaremme had long hoped to gain more power and become a demon lady or even princess. In her mind she had long ago planned how she would decorate and populate her own layer of the abyss.

Rehnaremme crawled through a great doorway in the castle that had never had a door. She frowned as she slithered down the four steps into the next room. When she was a princess she would take on a new form. One with legs. Although perhaps she would keep her six arms, or at least four of them. One could always find uses for having more than only two.

…

"There you are!" Penny cried, hurrying over to the toad. "Why did you hop off? Are you hungry?"

"Hungrier than you might imagine," Greptog told her.

"Then let's get you something to eat!" Penny said, picking it up and carrying the toad out of the room and down the long corridor. She turned the corner and almost walked into her brother and the others.

"Eewww! Yucky!" she cried, wrinkling her nose. She would have pinched it shut if she hadn't been holding the toad in the only hand she could use at the moment. "You guys smell so nasty! Were you rolling in poo or something?!"

"Close enough," Andy muttered, feeling too tired and too disgusted from rat hunting to tell her to shut up. He didn't know what he wanted to be when he grew up (assuming, of course, he ever got back home) but he knew there was no way he wanted to be an exterminator! They must have absolutely no sense of smell and not care what ugly things crawl all over them and try to bite them!

"Anyway, look what I got!" Penny cried, shoving the toad in her brother's face.

"What the heck do I care about an ugly old toad?" Andy demanded, pushing it away from him. The "toad" made an odd sound, like a snarl. Penny blinked. Did toads snarl? Well, this one talked, so she guessed it could snarl.

Andy walked on. He didn't seem to have heard the snarl. Neither did the others, who also walked past her. She pouted, puffing out her cheeks. Andy and his dumb ol' friends didn't give a darn, and she still couldn't find Linda! Well fine! She turned and started to walk back to her room. Then she remembered that if the guys got rid of the rats, the priest had promised to fix her arm. She hurried after them.

…

The girls haven't done any fighting yet, but they've gotten themselves into even more trouble than the guys have! And what exactly is the old priest up to? Maybe we'll find out next time!