I.

She doesn't know if it's because they don't know, they don't care, or because after four years of working together her colleagues have finally learnt not to question her on her private life, but Gail has had to deal with no questions about Holly all day. The combination of that, the fact that they on patrol rather than issuing speeding fines, and the fading of her coldness towards Chris as she lay in Holly's arms last night has actually led to a relatively good day at work. Her visit to the morgue at lunch boosted that 'relatively good' to 'solidly good'.

She has one more shift tomorrow, starting at 6am, but that at least means she won't be on shift on Friday evening, then both days of the weekend off, which itself is cause for a minor celebration. Then most of next week she'll be on nights.

So, that last bit's not ideal, but it's four days away, Gail's certainly not dwelling on it right now. Even that's not all bad, because on Monday, Oliver comes back to work. And Steve's latest intel from Mother Peck is that they are going to wait a week or so until they offer him the Staff Sergeant position. Ensure his faculties are still all there, that he's still up for the job. Whilst that does mean one more week of Jarvis, it also means one more week of working with Oliver while he's still a beat cop.

Maybe some part of Gail's cynical side has snuck off into the shadows over the past few days, or maybe this is all just actually good news, but either way, she is definitely seeing the positive side of everything about the next week. By the time Holly texts her to let her know that she is waiting outside her apartment that evening, Gail is practically buzzing. When she sees the way Holly openly checks her out as she approaches in her tightest black jeans, the ones she had in mind to change into when she asked Holly to pick her up from her apartment instead of the precinct, she hits levels of happiness not experience in a long, long time.

"Why is your mother telling you about the Staff Sergeant recruitment, surely that's kind of classified information?" Holly asks, as they sit on her sofa after dinner, drinking wine and discussing their days. Really, really nice wine. Definitely nicer than anything Gail has ever bought, except maybe for her mother's dinner parties.

"It is. Steve has this theory that she likes to tell us supposedly secret information about what's happening at the division to remind us that she always knows what's going on, to scare us into not messing up because she'll find out and find some passive aggressive way to ruin our lives."

"Like a Panopticon?"

"The shape?"

"No, that's a pentagon. It's a prison design that Michel Foucault used to develop social theory about mechanisms of control?"

Gail just raises her eyebrows in bewilderment.

"The Panopticon was a prison design, with tower in the middle with blacked out windows that overlooked the prisoners all the time, so even though they couldn't see if they were being watched all the time, they would behave as if they were. Foucault suggested that this was a kind of a metaphor for how human populations are controlled even when no-one's actually watch…"

Gail leans towards Holly and plants a gentle kiss on the other woman's lip, shutting her up. "You're such a nerd. How on earth do you know that stuff?"

"My first year roommate was a philosophy major, I used to find her courses so interesting when she talked about them, so I read books every now and then when I have some down time." Holly shrugs.

"You read philosophy books in your down time? And you used to talk to your roommate about your courses? I just used to get really drunk with mine."

"Not just philosophy, whatever interests me; there's so much stuff to learn out there. I find it incredible that one person is never going to know more than a fraction of humankind's collective knowledge. And my roommate was an incredibly interesting girl, for your information."

Gail's eyes narrow. "You fancied her, didn't you?"

Holly turns a very light shade of pink. "Only a little bit, in a closeted 18 year old kind of way."

A smirk emerges on Gail's lips, but it soon disappears as she runs her tongue across her lips absentmindedly, concentrating on what Holly was saying before she cut her off.

"So that whole Pentoptagon thing…" She starts.

"Panopticon." Gail scowls at Holly's interruption, and the brunette raises her hands in a mock apology, while her face contorts itself into a lopsided smile, as it so often does when Gail tries to give her best glares.

"Whatever. Basically you were saying that it's a way that the people are controlled into behaving as the establishment wants? That's kind of radical isn't it?"

"I guess, but it's just a theory. I find philosophy super interesting but I don't necessarily prescribe to all of it." She purses her lips in thought refills her glass of wine. "There is a slightly more than theoretical basis to the Panopticon though, it is basically exactly how the Gestapo operated."

Gail's brow is still furrowed in concentration. "So… you're saying that my mother is like the Gestapo."

Holly bites her lip and narrows her eyes, trying to think of an appropriate answer. "I suppose I may have suggested they have similar methods. Sorry."

"No, it's alright." Gail grins and Holly doesn't think she's ever seen anyone look more happily devious. "I can't wait to introduce you to her."

Holly raises her eyebrows questioningly.

"You are so smart, she is not going to know what to do with herself."

Holly gives a half exasperated laugh. "Well I'm glad I get to be a pawn in this ongoing Peck family battle of one-upmanship."

"You're way better than a pawn, you're… a King. You're a game changer."

Holly's eyes follow her as she takes the pathologist's wine glass from her hands, placing it next to her own on the coffee table.

"Actually the King is kind of weak in chess, it's the Queen who's the most powerful piece; the King pretty much just needs protecting the whole game, that's kind of the point…"

"Shut up, Holly." Holly looks into Gail's eyes, and Gail feels her breath hitch. Her eyes dart from the brunettes lips to her darkening eyes and back again.

Holly has frozen. but there is no need to move, because Gail is in charge of this. She absorbed every one of Holly's words, catching all their meanings; intended and subliminal, stowing them away, but there is something increasingly taking over her mind that means she can't process them right now. A dark, deep blue something. A pure and unrivalled intelligence. A sceptical raising of the eyebrows and a playful smirk. A pair of dark chocolate eyes unwavering in their current undertaking to see right into the dark pits of her soul.

She doesn't consciously lean in to meet Holly's plush, full lips with her own, but she knows that it is happening and that she had every intention of doing it before she got so lost flickering her eyes over the soft features of her face.

And when it happens, it is everything she expected and more. They had kissed before; they had kissed softly, and passionately, and innocently, and slightly viciously, and deeply, and chastely, and firmly, and tenderly. But never before have so many of those adverbs been applicable at once. Never before have they kissed with this intensity. Never before have they melted into one another so wholly; never before have they melted into anyone so wholly.

And then there is need. Need which leads Gail to instinctively twist so she is no longer sat to the side of the object of her affection but instead straddling her leg and gently guiding her to lie back into some of the many cushions adorning Holly's furniture. Need which is making the blood burn hot through their arteries from their head to their toes. Need which is pulsating between their legs even though their hands remain rooted in each other's hair rather than working to evoke reactions through the touching of bare skin. But desire that is not so overwhelming that it consumes them and pulls them abruptly in one direction along that spectrum of love and lust. Not that it so much a spectrum but a complex web of emotions and interactions.

But whatever it is, whilst the need is unquestionably present, there is a sizable assortment of competing instincts and feelings preventing it from becoming all-consuming just yet. It is desire, but a desire in a multitude of incarnations.

One is Gail's aspiration to take in everything about this moment in its slow, beautiful entirety. Another, her aim to explore every part of Holly's entity; every physical feature, every movement and every reaction. And, most prominently of all, is her desire to not consummate whatever is between them on a night she doesn't have the time to do both of the above.

But whilst Gail's resolve means it can't be a kiss of wandering hands and attempts to stimulate and tease and satisfy, it is still a kiss of intensity. Because of their gentle movements; slow but not languorous, like every little thing they do is to express how much they care, and they can both feel that. Because of the way that when their tongues brush against one another they simultaneously release loud, uncontrollable moans that reverberate right the way through to their cores. Because of the way they can feel the heat from each other's arousal pressing against their thighs, for the first time displaying to both women the true nature of the effect they have on the other. But mostly because of the way that they looked into each other's eyes and could see each other falling at such a rate that nothing could stop them, and nothing will bring them back up. It is inescapable, and neither of them cares, as long as they're doing it together.

After what feels like an eternity and yet also no time at all, Gail pulls back and looks down at the woman underneath her, still not used to her hair not falling forwards to block the world out when she looks down like this.

"That was…" Holly whispers.

"Yeah." Gail breathes.

"You're something special."

"You… I can't believe how hot that was. I really wanted to touch you but I thought that probably wouldn't be conducive to me actually sleeping in my own bed tonight."

"You're not staying?" Holly's face falls slightly.

Gail gently drops another kiss onto the other woman's lips and Holly releases a loud breath in response. "I want to, believe me. I start at 6am tomorrow, I don't want to wake you up when I leave."

"I wouldn't mind."

"Also I can't really afford to spend all night doing stuff with you, which I would probably do if I stayed; I need my beauty sleep. But I'm off all weekend, if you are."

"Yeah."

"Good." Gail smiles, and settles between Holly and the back of the sofa, tracing her fingers over Holly's jeans as she rests her head on her shoulder.

"So what kind of stuff were you thinking?"

Gail frowns, and tilts her head up to meet Holly's questioning gaze. "I thought that much was obvious?"

"Oh right, so you were telling the truth earlier?"

"When I said that I'm over being freaked out…"

"Yes, you don't have to repeat it." Holly says hastily.

The frown hasn't left Gail's face, this conversation is baffling in so many ways. "I wouldn't have had you down as one of those prudes who can't say vagina."

"I'm not! I love everything about vaginas, the name included. It was just… kind of a crude way of wording it, and I didn't want to ruin the moment."

"I'm a habitual moment-ruiner, Holly, you're going to have to get used to it. And of course I was telling the truth. I want to have sex with you. After that little dalliance I know that even more than I did earlier."

"Dalliance?" Holly asks, eyebrows raised.

"Sh, I'm talking. What I meant when I told you that was that I'm not going to have classic Gail freak out about it. You've done nothing but make sure I'm comfortable, and I am, you make me comfortable. But I was trying to make sure you feel comfortable."

Now it's Holly's turn to be confused. "How do you mean?"

"Remember when I couldn't touch your boob and you told me you wanted me to be comfortable touching you? Well you haven't touched my boob, you're so scared I'm going to run that you're not just doing what comes naturally."

"What, so you want me to touch your boob?"

Gail sits up, realising the unintended genius to Holly's suggestion.

Holly props herself up on her elbows. "Yes, I think you should touch my boob. To get over being uncomfortable. When I touched your boob it showed me that you wanted me to and that it wasn't going to spontaneously combust in my hand or something terrible like that. So if you touch my boob, it will show you I'm not going to run."

Holly is fighting so hard to not burst out into fits of laughter that Gail can see her shaking.

But Gail remains steadfast, a deadly serious look on her face, her penetrating gaze showing no signs of succumbing to the bizarre hilarity of the situation. She just continues blinking, unwavering, until Holly finally gives in and responds.

"I… that's completely absurd."

"No, it makes sense. Touch my boob, Holly."

"Just… here? Whilst we're sat like this. No build up or anything?"

Gail shuffles to sit more upright, turning slightly to lean against the back of the sofa with her legs draped over Holly's. "Yeah, just a simple, over the bra boob touch, I'll even keep my shirt on, which is more than you were wearing when I touched yours. Both times. Come on Holly, this is like a level one lesbian activity, my first boyfriend Justin did it, and he was fourteen."

Holly sighs. "Fine, Gail, I'll touch your boob."

Gail's face lights up in triumph. "Don't sound like it's such a hardship."

Holly adjusts her position so she is also sat upright, and reaches out tentatively, before pulling back slightly.

"This is weird. It's like the least sexy way to touch a boob." She says, her hand hovering awkwardly between them.

Gail shakes her head lightly. "No, Justin was about as unsexy as this."

"Was he the boob biter?"

"We were fourteen, I let him grope me lightly over my clothes, not get near them with his mouth!"

"Right yeah. Sounds like you have a whole wealth of history of bad boob experiences."

"Exactly, so you really have no reason to be scared. There is virtually no chance of you being anywhere near the worst. Just do it. Do you want me to take your hand and guide you like you did to me, because I will." Gail looks at her earnestly.

"No, fine, I'll do it."

Gail offers an encouraging smile as the hand reaches out and lightly grazes her right boob, lingering there as Holly looks at her with a mystified expression.

"That's what you've got? A whole fourteen years of lesbian experiences and that's what you're giving me. I barely felt that."

Holly rolls her eyes and takes a hold of the soft flesh under her palm, moving her hand to stroke the entire rounded mass from top to bottom, where she stops.

Gail's tongue darts out to moisten her lips.

"Like that?"

"Yeah, something like that." Gail croaks, and Holly starts to stroke the breast with her thumb. Words escape her as her nipple hardens against the many layers of clothes between herself and Holly.

"That was… unfair. You're a tease." Gail protests, her voice low.

"Well, I really do hate to play this game but you started it, Gail."

"I know, I just wasn't expecting…" Gail snaps out of her daze, shaking her head. "See, it worked, we crossed a boundary and now you know that I'm not going to freak out if you touch me. So in the future, you can touch me without worrying."

"I know that's how it works in theory, but what if I take it a step to far?" Holly argues.

"You won't, because I'm not scared of this, of anything, right the way down to scissoring or whatever, if that's actually a thing- I've received conflicting messages; everything."

Holly still looks slightly worried though, so Gail reaches out and strokes her cheek.

"You're not going to scare me off, Holly. I don't know if you can tell from the fact that I cannot keep my hands off of you but I am into it. All the lesbian stuff, I it's working for me. It feels right, normal. I don't see how you could scare me off when everything we've done has just felt so... right."

Holly nods slowly "It feels right to me too."

"And I promise, I'll tell you if we're going somewhere I don't want to go yet. It's how this whole dating thing works. I know I'm not the world's best communicator but even I know that dating isn't any fun if you're constantly scared of each other."

"You promise?"

"I do."

"Okay..." She pauses, "I will too, for the record. Tell you if we're going too fast."

"Good." Gail nods contentedly, leaning in for a chaste kiss. "I should call Chris, he said he'd give me a lift home."

"Sorry, if I knew you weren't staying I wouldn't have had a drink. I can pay for a taxi if you want?" Holly says apologetically.

"It's okay, he owes me anyway for telling Dov he thought we were sleeping together. And I don't take taxis anymore, after… you know." They had spoken, briefly, when they were friends about the abduction. Only for Gail to confirm that Holly had heard about it, as of course, working with police officers every day, she had. She hadn't regaled the details to the brunette. And Holly hadn't pushed for them. Gail liked that, with Holly it was a thing that 'just was'. If Gail wanted to talk about it, she could, but if she wanted to ignore it, as she usually did, she could also do that, without feeling like she was hiding anything.

"Well he wasn't far off, we have slept in the same bed."

"I'd say he's currently about 2 bases off." Gail says, gesturing towards her breast.

Holly gives her a light shove to the shoulder before standing up. "Call your roommate, Peck."

II.

Twenty minutes later, they are parting with goodnight kisses and promises that Gail will text when she's safely home.

The drive home is quiet, Gail watches the lights around them increase in number as they head deeper into the city.

"You have a good evening?" Chris asks, eventually.

Gail shrugs. "Yep." Pleasantries were never really her thing. She never saw the point, you can tell from the look on someone's face if they've had a good day or not. People either ask if you're okay to just be polite, or because they have something they really want to tell you about their day. And Gail would really rather they just tell you, even though most of the time she has no interest in hearing it, rather than fanny around pretending to care about yours. Why not be honest, and just tell them what you want to say? Gail Peck may not be many things, but she is certainly honest, and she can pride herself on that. Some say 'brutally honest', but it is honesty nonetheless.

People care too much about what other people think about the insignificant parts of their lives.

Her friends often seem to think that she doesn't care what anyone thinks about her at all. And that's not true, she cares when people who are supposed to be her friends think she's entitled, or that she's heartless, or that she's somehow not as good or deserving as everyone else. But she doesn't care whether the average man on the street thinks she has no manners, or what her colleagues think of her diet. There's a difference that people seem to struggle to grasp.

Christ interrupts her contemplations. "Traci called to suggest we go to the Penny tomorrow night. She said she tried to call you but it went to voicemail."

That was true. Holly had been in the middle of a story about the last guy she ever dated. The poor, unsuspecting guy was the fall guy in so many of Holly's more entertaining stories about discovering her sexuality. Gail would've felt bad for him if it wasn't so funny. So yes, she hadn't picked up Traci's call. But when she never tried to phone again, Gail supposed it can't have been that important.

"Oh right, I must have missed it, I didn't hear it ring." Okay, so she may not be completely honest all the time, but Chris is the moral police and this is such a trivial issue she really doesn't need to argue with him over it.

"Yeah. So are you coming?"

"To the Penny?"

Chris nods. "Yeah."

"I'll probably be with Holly."

"You could bring her." Chris suggests.

Gail lets out a short laugh. More like a bark, than a laugh really. "Yeah, right, like I'm going to introduce you to her animals. She's already had one run-in with Dov, that's enough interaction for the year." She scoffs.

"You think you'll still be together in a year?" Chris asks, half surprised, half slightly excited.

"It's a turn of phrase, Chris." Gail groans.

"Come on Gail, you should come, everyone's going to be there, except Chloe and Sam, obviously, but everyone else. You, me, Dov, Traci..."

"You almost had me at 'except Chloe' but no, thank you."

Chris ignores her interruption. "…Steve, Nick, Andy…"

"Nick and Andy! Really!" She says with her best sarcastic cheeriness "You're really doing a good job of selling this one to me Chris, do continue."

"…Oliver..."

That caught her attention.

"Oliver's going to be there?" She tries to play it cool.

"Yeah, it was his idea."

Gail ponders it for a moment. "I guess I could come. For an hour or so. Then go to Holly's. I'll have to check she didn't have anything planned for us. But okay. Yeah. Maybe."

"Great!" Chris grins cheerily. "It's gonna be so cool; the gang back together again!"

"We never split up, Chris." Gail points out.

"Yeah, but it feels like so long since we've all been around and everything hasn't been about this shooting. And even before that, we weren't really all together like we used to be, what with you not talking to Andy, but now she's back with Sam..."

"I'm not going to suddenly decide to like her because she's no longer screwing my ex-boyfriend, Chris. That doesn't change the fact that it happened."

"And you're seeing Holly?" Chris offers.

"Doesn't stop it being a dick move and a stab in the back." Gail shrugs. And it doesn't. Nick, she's over, she could probably cope with being back on speaking terms with him in the near future, now he's no longer sleeping with the girl he fancied while they were together. She can't forgive him for that but she doesn't feel angry at him anymore. She can't exactly lie and say that it's not helping that she's happy with Holly and he's slightly heart broken, but she's been over him for a while; before Holly, and before Andy left him.

But Andy broke the code. No two ways about it. She had Gail's trust, Gail did nothing to push Andy into doing something to hurt her –something she can't exactly say about Nick-, and she did it anyway. Gail Peck doesn't really have much experience with friendship, but even she knows that's what Andy pulled was a straight up violation of the rules that govern how friends treat one another.

"Okay, well it feels like a reunion to me. We'll all be there, without our boyfriends and girlfriends, except Traci who'll bring the detective she's dating…"

"She certainly has a type." Gail muses.

"It'll be like we're rookies again!"

Gail frowns. "I'm not going to sleep with you again if that's what you're trying to suggest."

"I know!"

He looks over and sees Gail is not sharing in his excitement.

"Well I'm looking forward to it, even if you aren't!"

But Gail is already lost to him, her mind back on Holly, and their agreement to communicate. That's a new one. Communication. And it actually doesn't feel terrible. It feels good. It feels safe. It feels like trust. Okay, maybe she's not one hundred percent ready to open herself up and trust right at this present moment. She can thank McNally for that one. But she's getting there. Very close to there. But communication, that's new.

III.

Three hours into Gail's shift, she hears from Holly for the first time that day.

Holly: Just got into work ;-) How's the early shift going?

Gail: Long. Weird waking up without your babbling this morning

Holly: Was going to say it was nice to wake up under the covers, thief

Gail: Ha! Original

Holly: Don't pretend like yours was a comedic masterpiece

Gail: It was and you know it was

Holly: Do you have any plans for tonight? I usually order in on Fridays, may let you have some of my mango salad

Gail: Crap, said I'd go to the Penny for Oliver's 'I'm alive' party tonight. Meant to be going at 8, maybe could come to yours at 9.30ish. Would probably need a lift though?

Holly: :-(

Holly: That's okay, you have a night with your friends, we've seen loads of each other this week

Gail: No, I want to see you more than them

Holly: We can see each other tomorrow. And at lunch because I bought last night's leftovers in and there's enough for two (even if one of the two is you, yes)

Gail: Definite yes to lunch. But I'm seeing you tonight, even if I have to not drink and steal a squad car to get there!

Holly: Okay, I'll pick you up. Pls don't steal a squad car, don't want our night to be interrupted by you getting arrested.

Gail: You're the best

Holly: I know. But I'll wait until you text me, so you can stay later if you want. No pressure for you to come if you change your mind

Gail: Highly unlikely. Can't wait until lunch! Also save me a spring roll later, but no veggie crap

Holly: Shrimp?

Gail: It'll do.