Bakura stretched as he logged off his computer, relieved that it was finally the weekend. Technically, Bakura was leaving early today so he was clocking out before his coworkers. He had taken the afternoon off for personal reasons. He glanced down at his phone, knowing he would be pushing it for time. Maybe if I hurry out of here, I can avoid that pest of a coworker of mine.
"Hey bestie, where're you going?"
And maybe I can't ever catch a fucking break.
"None of your goddamn business, Rebecca." Bakura muttered as he brushed by the blonde pipsqueak. He heard her huff in annoyance, but Bakura ignored the noise as he made a beeline towards the exit. He caught his coworkers glancing up at him before turning to stare at the short girl trailing behind him. "Why're you ducking out early? Are you going on a date or something?"
Bakura rolled his eyes as he stormed towards the door, trying to make a speedy getaway and failing. "No. Why the hell are you obsessed with my love life?" Bakura didn't really want an answer, but he figured diverting Rebecca to a topic different from his current quest to escape was more important. She skipped behind him, a large grin. "Because maybe if you had a special someone in your life, you would nicer to the people around you."
Bakura smirked at the suggestion. He was fairly certain he had been a massive asshole when he dated Marik and nothing would really change that. "Hate to disappoint you, but not even a boyfriend would solve that issue." He heard Rebecca sputtering behind him. Despite himself, Bakura glanced behind to see Rebecca standing in complete shock. "What now?" He growled, not sure why he had stopped. This was probably a dumb idea.
"Wait! You're gay?" Bakura blinked a moment before swearing under his breath as he saw Rebecca's expression changed from shock to excitement. Oh fuck. I don't want to deal with this. Bakura ignored the curious stares around them as he practically sprinted towards the door. "Why didn't you tell me sooner, Bakura? I always wanted a gay friend! Think of all the things we can do together!"
Bakura was sure Rebecca was trying to trigger his gag reflex at this point. "Fuck off, Rebecca!" Bakura yelled over his shoulder as he finally reached the door. As Bakura reached to pull the door open, he suddenly flew back as another person entered through the door. Bakura swore under his breath, struggling to keep his temper in check. "Watch where you're going asshole!" Bakura snapped at the figure who just entered where Bakura was trying to leave.
"That's no way to talk to your superior, drop out."
Bakura blinked as he realized it was none other than Seto Kaiba towering above him. Of all the fucking luck in the world. "Superior my ass, Kaiba. Get out of my way, I'm trying to clock out." Kaiba sneered, a look of distain plastered on his face. Bakura couldn't tell if that was Kaiba's face was always like this or if he only had that look when Bakura was around. Bakura suspected Kaiba had a serious case of RBF.
"Cutting work early? I'll dock your pay if you do." Bakura bit back a stream of swears and decided to make his point more eloquently. "I cleared this with my supervisor, jackass!" Bakura stood up only to feel someone hug his arm. He snapped his head in confusion as Rebecca attached herself to the albino coworker desperate to escape. "I'm sorry Mr. Kaiba! Bakura didn't mean to be so rude! He's just coming out of the closet, so you'll have to forgive him!"
I'm doing what now? Before Bakura could gather himself to yell at his coworker, he saw Kaiba's eye twitch as he scoffed at the two. "Oh god, can't you leave your personal life at the door when you come into work, flunkie?" Bakura glared at Kaiba, hoping he was only imagining his face was growing red with embarrassment. "I'm not coming out of the closet! Now get the hell off of me!" Bakura shook his arm as he tried to loosen the vice grip that was cutting off the flow of blood.
Rebecca looked at Bakura, her eyes flooded with concern. "But I want to be here with you in your time of need! You're in such a sensitive spot – you need the support of friends!" Bakura squinted his eyes shut, taking deep breaths. Okay. Fuck it. I'm done. Bakura jerked his arm sharply as Rebecca finally let go. Kaiba seemed content to watch the albino suffer, a smirk on his face as Bakura tried to compose himself between the two hassling him.
"Rebecca, piss off. I'm fine, damn it. And Kaiba, if you have an issue with me taking off early, then you should have yelled at my supervisor for allowing it in the first place!" Kaiba's smirk widened as he shrugged, brushing past the two. "I have more important things to do than to worry about you slacking off. Like pissing off a smartass computer geek." Bakura growled in exasperation, knowing that Kaiba loved toying with him just to get a rise out of him.
Before Bakura could be held up for any other stupid reason, Bakura flung the door open and rushed down the hallway, praying he would finally lose Rebecca along the way.
After several minutes of convincing Rebecca that he was not coming out and he was going to be okay, Bakura finally left his blubbering coworker and drove to meet his brother. It was the end of August and the heat and humidity reminded Bakura that he had a few more weeks to deal with this dreaded weather before cooler weather finally arrived. Ryou was mournful for the loss of hot weather while Bakura was relieved for cooler temperatures.
As Bakura parked behind the apartment, he saw Ryou coming outside to meet him. "Ready?" Ryou gave a small smile, Bakura's younger brother dressed more casually in jeans and a black t-shirt. Bakura glanced down at his own attire comprise of khakis and a short-sleeve black button-down shirt. It was a bit more formal than he would have liked, but he could tell that his brother was eager to get going. "Yeah, let's head over."
Ryou nodded as he shirted the bag in his hand. Bakura locked up his car as the two walked, Ryou humming lightly as they made their way down. The two traveled in silence as the graveyard came into view, a rather solemn mood settling between the two. The twins said nothing as they walked down a familiar path, one they had taken together every year on this day to visit three familiar gravestones.
Bakura felt a small smile grow on his face, the day being both sad and happy for many reasons. He glanced at Ryou, who gave him a small smile before kneeling down to clean up. After a few moments, Bakura joined his brother, sitting down in the grass as he searched Ryou's bag. He smirked as he spotted their lunch – perhaps it was unconventional, but Ryou insisted that they have a family meal.
Bakura wasn't really entirely sure how to deal with solemn stuff like this – Ryou had always been better at expressing himself than his twin. In some ways, Bakura found he always worried and even dreaded this day, feeling uncomfortable with this yearly ritual. Oddly enough, that wasn't the case today. This year, Bakura felt more at peace and far less anxious and confused than years before.
It certainly didn't hurt that Ryou's idea of honoring and remembering the dead was to have a picnic.
Ryou took a bite out of a rice ball, staring at the gravestones. After several minutes of silently eating, Ryou finally broken the silence. "How've you been? I'm glad the weather's great for a picnic. Makes me think about those summer weekends when we went to the beach. Those were fantastic." Bakura didn't say anything, knowing that his twin was speaking to their parents and not him. Bakura wasn't much of a talker, though he was glad that Ryou could fill the space for both of them.
Ryou gave a small smile as he leaned back to stare at the blue sky. "You won't believe, but I managed to convince Bakura to leave town and go back to that beach this summer. He complained and moaned the entire time, but I'm still glad we went. We hadn't been there since Amane's tenth birthday." Bakura snorted, glancing away as Ryou reprimanded him. Leave it to his brother to continue to tattle on him even after their parents' death.
"In my defense, it was mid-July and tourist season. Amane's birthday is in April. The weather is way better in the spring than in the summer." Bakura muttered out loud, somewhat surprised that he was trying to defend himself to the stone slabs in front of them. Ryou chuckled as he rolled his eyes. "Told you, not much has changed with him." Bakura growled at his twin, who seemed content to tease his older brother.
A comfortable silence fell between the two for a while longer before Ryou continued talking. "Guess what? Bakura's about to finally graduate. It took him ten years, but he got there eventually." Bakura rolled his eyes, knowing his brother was just trying to rile him now. He also knew Ryou was tricking him into talking to their parents. He decided to humor his twin for the time being. "I was working, you asshole. And you're welcome, by the way."
Ryou shrugged nonchalantly, but Bakura caught the smirk on his twin's face. That snarky son of a- "When Bakura's not busy with homework, work and bullying me, we go out to check out apartments. I guess Bakura finally got sick of me." Despite Ryou's word, Bakura could tell from the teasing tone that Ryou was more amused than anything else. He also found himself in the awkward positioning of explaining Ryou's words to headstones.
"What Ryou is trying to say in between being a jackass is that we're going to get separate apartments. Despite his bitching, it was actually mutual. We both need our space and the time seems right. Plus, Ryou's friends are loud and it's hard to do homework with them around. Especially if I'm considering getting my associates." Ryou just gave a large smile, finishing off the last of a rice ball, not denying the accusations.
Ryou continued to chat to their parents, though Bakura's mind was elsewhere. He had mentioned the idea of the two brothers getting separate apartments, despite Bakura's reservation. Though he had been hesitant about the process, he saw no reason to move forward. He couldn't put his finger on why, but Bakura felt cautious going ahead with this. A thought nagged at the back of Bakura's mind, but he brushed it aside deciding to focus on their visit today and worry about it another time.
The two brothers finished eating as they cleaned up after themselves. Bakura grabbed the bag as got off the grass, brushing himself off. Ryou said nothing, the grin on his face from earlier fading to something more somber. Bakura watched his brother, who deeply inhaled before releasing a shuddering breath, his normal, happy façade starting to slip. After a moment, Bakura finally reached an arm around his brother, resting his hand on his shoulder to offer a small bit of comfort.
Ryou bit his lip, but didn't look at Bakura, his eyes trained on their graves. Bakura was never good at handling his grief (or any emotion in general) – Ryou had always been more sensitive and open about his feelings. And even if Bakura wasn't sure the purpose, he understood how important it was that they kept making this trip out to see their family each year. Despite the painful memories, it was cathartic as well.
The twins stood there for a few more moments in silence before Ryou finally moved. He composed himself enough, a small smile plastered on his face. He glanced over to Bakura before glancing back down at the headstones. "Okay. See you later mom, dad, Amane. Take care now." Bakura said nothing, watching his twin as he stepped away. Ryou raised a hand to pat Bakura on the shoulder, the relaxed look on his face finally reassuring the former criminal.
Bakura followed Ryou, who followed back down the path almost as if looking for something. It took a moment before it finally registered that his twin was looking to put flowers on their family's graves. Bakura stayed quiet, but took the lead as he guided his brother to the flower stand located near by. It was strange that Bakura had visited this place only a few months back – the time seemed both longer and shorter.
As Ryou bought a several flowers, a thought crossed Bakura's mind, realizing there was something he wanted to do. He picked up an extra flower and followed his brother back as he placed the flowers by their graves. Ryou seemed satisfied by their work before turning to leave. Bakura stood back, his brother looking back in confusion. Bakura smirked before following down a different. "You go ahead. There's someone else I want to visit here."
Ryou cocked his head in confusion, but shrugged. "Okay. I'll meet you by the entrance." Bakura nodded as he waved his brother away. The two parted briefly, Bakura following down a different path. He had made the connection that a certain grave happened to be in the same cemetery as their parents – Bakura wanted to make a special visit to this person. He owed him at least that much.
As Bakura walked towards the solitary grave, he spotted a silhouette standing near his destination. He had a sneaking suspicion who might also be visiting, but continued nonetheless. He bit his lip as he noticed the long black hair and dark tan skin, a rather defining feature for a well-known Egyptian family. Building up the courage, Bakura took a deep breath as he passed Ishizu, who stood quietly by her elder brother's grave.
He could feel Ishizu's gaze burning into his back, but Bakura said nothing as he placed the flower on Odion's grave. He noticed a few fallen leaves and decided now was as a good time to clean up. It's that or turn around and face Ishizu right now. As he cleaned up around the grave, Bakura sighed as he stood up, brushing off his pants before turning around to face Ishizu. She, rather wisely, averted her gaze and focused on the headstone.
Bakura watched Ishizu for a moment before turning his attention to the ground. The two had barely spoken a word since Bakura spoke to Marik down at the courthouse. Aside from seeing her in passing at the hospital, Bakura and Ishizu hardly associated with each other. In some way, he knew Ishizu would immensely grateful if she never saw the albino again. She would happy if Bakura could finally bow out of their lives.
Well… I'm not sure about happy. He could see from the dark circles under her eyes that she had suffered through countless sleepless nights. A frown seemed to be permanently etched into her face, as if the whole ordeal had aged her. Despite seeing her suffering, he knew that there was nothing he could say or do to help her. If anything, any action or phrase would end up reminding her of everything she lost and who was responsible.
Bakura knew that he would always feel this guilt for his action. There would be no escaping that. But perhaps he shouldn't be crippled by his guilt but rather motivated to make sure he didn't fuck up again. If anything, this experience had made him realize how much he cared about the people in his life, and that even the best intentions could end up hurting people immensely. Just because he meant well hadn't necessarily reflected in the results of his actions.
Bakura shook his head slightly as he passed Ishizu, the two not exchanging a word as he left. Bakura was glad for this time to remember the dead, despite the painful burden it was. A different, yet all too similar burden that Ishizu also held. Bakura felt this flood of thoughts, a confusing swarm of accusations and defenses rushing through his head. He knew he couldn't put to words what he felt, but then again, Ishizu wasn't the one who would listen.
Well… perhaps not now. But maybe one day…
Like most Saturdays, Bakura found himself getting up and ready to head over to the hospital. Technically the visitor hours started earlier, but Marik enjoyed sleeping in. As their friendship started to mend, Bakura wanted to start off on the right foot. He figured it would be wise not to freak out Marik by watching him sleep. That likely would not be appreciated.
Bakura walked through the doors, a familiar path by this point. The receptionist glanced up at the albino as he approached the desk. "Do you have an appointment?" Bakura raised an eyebrow, realizing this was one of the newer hires on the job. "Yeah, here to visit a patient, Marik Ishtar." She nodded as she searched a calendar on her computer. "I don't have it on here. Did you clear it with his primary doctor?"
Bakura rolled his eyes, not enjoying the hassle the hospital could create. "Yeah, just call Anzu. Her extension is 818." The young lady blinked in surprise before cautiously dialing the number. A short conversation later, and Bakura was headed up the elevator with a visitor tag to see Marik. He couldn't help smiling despite himself. Even though it was hard to say whether Namu would make an appearance, Marik showed definite signs of improvements.
Bakura walked down a familiar hallway, passing a resident as he approached Marik's door. He noticed that it was slightly ajar. Bakura smirked as he knocked on the door, knowing better than to just barge in. He heard a voice telling him to come in as the albino opened the door wider. He spotted Marik sitting on the bed, hard at work in his sketchpad. He paused a moment from his drawing, flicking his eyes towards the door. Marik did a double take as his concentration was broken, a large grin breaking out on his face.
"You came back!" Marik declared happily. Bakura rolled his eyes, hoping he was imagining the blush on his face. "I visit every Saturday. Why is it such a surprise every time?" Marik shrugged, the stupid grin still plastered on his face. Bakura watched as Marik turned his attention back to his drawing before wandering around the room. Slowly but surely, the plain, white walls were remedied by the various paintings and drawings that Marik was working on.
"Good week at work?" Bakura let out an exasperated sigh as he walked around the room studying Marik's new art. "I survived it. I swear Kaiba or Rebecca are going to drive me insane that you'll have stick me in the nuthouse too. They're goddamn pains in the ass." Marik raised an eyebrow as he put down his sketchpad and grabbed a Rubik's cube off his bedside table, an amused smirk growing on his face. "That's pretty much you saying it's alright and you enjoy it."
Bakura glared at Marik before flipping the bird in his direction. Marik laughed but didn't say anything back as he tried to solve the cube. It had taken weeks of gentle prodding and teasing, but Bakura was glad to see Marik more like himself. Even still, he could see a sadness and weight to him, as if forever changed. That didn't surprise him and truth be told, Marik was growing and maturing. Who he would become was still a mystery.
That's fine. So long as he's back in any shape and form.
Anzu, who had been worried that she had reached a roadblock on Marik's progress, was delighted to see how much he was reconnecting after getting back into his art. With Bakura's advice, she had begun using his interest in art to help him in his therapy sessions. Marik wasn't a big fan of talking about the sessions, but he didn't seem completely averse to it. Though it was an uncomfortable topic, it wasn't unapproachable either.
Bakura studied two new drawings that were placed next to his window. The first one was of his sister, a small smile on her face. He realized that this was a much younger Ishizu, one who looked like she was still a teen. Even then, Ishizu had always seemed mature. Perhaps after everything the Ishtar clan had been through, they had to be. It was difficult to experience such hardship and not be affected as such.
Bakura turned his attention to the second drawing, blinking for a moment as he studied the portrait. "Is that supposed to me?" Bakura stared closely at the pencil sketching of an albino figure, though something about the hair and eyes seem off. Marik looked up from his puzzle to see what Bakura was staring at. He pursed his lips for a moment in thought before staring at the wall. "No… It looks like you, but I think it might be Ryou… I don't know. I think Namu might have…"
Bakura furrowed his brow as he turned back, his mind recalling the event several weeks back. Though Bakura had insisted that it wasn't a good idea, Ryou had asked to join Bakura and finally meet Marik a few weeks ago. Despite knowing everything would most likely go to shit, Bakura finally agreed. He ran the idea by Marik, who was more than eager to meet Bakura's mysterious twin brother. Namu had been very quiet and passive for the past couple weeks so Bakura figured it was as good a time as any to introduce Ryou.
Of course, because the universe hated Bakura, Marik wasn't there that day. Namu was in control, and although he wasn't violent, he certainly wasn't nice. While Ryou did his best at polite, forced conversation, Namu was callous, rude and crass the entire time. Bakura nearly lost it when Namu started making lewd jokes and suggestive comments towards his twin brother. By that point, Ryou had to drag his brother away before he could actually consider murdering Marik's crazy alter ego.
Bakura furrowed his brows as he looked back at Marik. Despite the plans made, Marik hadn't met Ryou yet. They had discussed the possibility, but after Namu's rather rude appearance, Bakura was hesitant to make any more efforts, despite Marik and Ryou's insistence. Seeing the drawn headshot of his brother shocked Bakura as he had assumed it was Marik who drew it. But Marik hadn't met Ryou yet – only Namu has met him…
In some way, Bakura wrote off Namu has a hopeless basket case. After all, his goal was to save Marik. However, as Bakura stared at the drawing of his brother, he felt confused. It never occurred to him that everything that was Marik, including his skills and interests, could be applicable to Namu. It was strange to imagine Marik's artistic sensitivity and delicate touch under the Namu's hand. That he was capable of something other than violence and pain.
How much of Marik is Namu and vice versa? This is confusing as fuck.
Bakura shook off these abstract thoughts as he turned back to face Marik, who was preoccupied with trying to solve a Rubik's cube. Bakura smirked as he sat down next to Marik on his bed, leaning back against the wall. He grabbed the sketchbook that Marik had been drawing in as he started up a conversation. "So, how's life in the nuthouse?" Bakura found insensitive remarks was always a good default in his life.
Bakura could tell that Marik was mildly annoyed by the description, but the amused smirked slipped through. Good to know I'm not alone in how awful I can get. "Things are fine here. I tried to say hi to my neighbor, but he was pretty freaked out seeing me. I'm guessing Namu said hi to him before I could." Bakura raised an eyebrow as he flipped the page, studying some of Marik's newer sketches.
"Which neighbor are you talking?" Bakura asked with only mild interest, his attention focused more on the book in hand. Marik pointed to the wall behind Bakura. "The neighbor who lives next door. His name's Mako. A bit loud, but not too bad."
"Isn't he that freaky fish guy?"
Marik snorted, shaking his head in exasperation. "He is not a freaky fish guy. He has a pathological religious fixation on aquatic sea creatures."
"I heard he fucked a fish."
Marik nearly dropped his Rubik's Cube as he snapped his head around to glare at Bakura. "He did not fuck a fish."
Bakura shrugged as he flipped through a few more pages. "He wanted to fuck a fish."
Marik made a rather strangled noise, as if trying to hide how annoyed he was with the albino. "I can't stand you." He muttered angrily under his breath, only causing Bakura to smirk lightly. Bakura flipped to Marik's new creation, raising an eye as he recognized some rather recognizable gold relics. "Hey, Marik. What's this you're working on?"
Marik turned his head back to look at what Bakura was studying. Marik smiled as he turned back to his Rubik's cube. "Dr. Mazaki thought it would be good if I took time to draw things from my past, both good and bad. Most of my art had always focused on the good stuff, but she thought perhaps reflecting on some of more negative or at least more trying periods of my life might help in therapy. I wasn't sure where to start, but I figured our last mission wasn't a bad place to go with. What do you think?"
Bakura studied this almost abstract take on the Millennium Items. It was rather modern in its take as the relics swirled and twisted towards the center, creating multiple golden paths towards the center. The gold wasn't the only color, as the edges were a gradient of gray before exploding with color. The only part that wasn't colored in was the center, to where the Items lead. Bakura couldn't make sense of where these Items were going, but then again, perhaps it didn't necessarily have to. It was art after all.
Still… "Where are the Items leading to?" Bakura asked. Marik grinned as he looked up to meet Bakura's brown eyes. "I don't know. At least not yet. I'm hoping to figure it out, but I don't think I've reached the end of that path yet. So for now, I'll just follow the yellow brick road to figure out where I end up." Bakura snorted, but didn't make a snarky comeback. In some ways, what Marik said made sense. Marik still had a long way to go, so he didn't need to know where his art and life would go as of yet.
Bakura glanced back down at the drawing, feeling a strange nostalgia. Seeing the Items reminded him of a complicated yet also simpler time of crime, research and smoothies. He raised a hand to trace the Puzzle, which pointed towards that mysterious center. "Any names in mind for this piece?" Bakura asked softly as he looked at the golden eye. "I don't know. I was thinking maybe something like 'Rings, Rods and Puzzles… Oh My.' What do you think about that?"
It took a moment for Bakura to realize what Marik was suggesting before looking. He caught that stupid smirk on Marik's face before realizing that the Egyptian was teasing him. Bakura snapped the book shut as he tossed on the bed. "That's the dumbest fucking name you've come up with yet, jackass." Marik laughed out loud, finishing up his fourth side to the Rubik's cube. "Yeah, but the look on your face was worth it."
Bakura grumbled under his breath, but said nothing. He didn't want to give Marik the satisfaction of mocking him. He let out a huff of air as he ran a hand through his hair. A comfortable silence fell between the two. Over the weeks, Marik and Bakura had carefully been mending their friendship. Bakura had initially been worried his rather snarky and callous nature would fuck him his attempts, but he found this attitude of his helped chip away at the shield that Marik had put up around himself. Slowly but surely, he was finding Marik again.
Bakura glanced back over at Marik, who finished solved his puzzle and was mixing it up again. "Hey, Marik. How's therapy going by the way?" Marik didn't say anything, but Bakura noticed how his hands paused for a moment on the puzzle. Marik shrugged, not meeting Bakura's eyes. "Okay I guess. It's not particularly fun, but I guess dealing with childhood trauma's not supposed to be fun." Bakura nodded his head slowly, turning his gaze away as he stared at the wall.
"Dr. Mazaki mentioned she's started a new therapy session with you. Some story therapy thing?" Marik let out a sigh, as if realizing that he wasn't getting out of the conversation. Bakura didn't want to pry any further than need be, but he also knew that if Marik didn't want to talk about something, he wouldn't. Bakura thought it counted for something if Marik still felt comfortable enough talking to Bakura about this.
"It's narrative therapy. I don't how exactly it's supposed to work, but I guess the idea behind it is to bridge the gap between Namu and mine's memories. There are gaps on both of our ends and if we can make a cohesive story, it'll help me process my trauma instead of hide from it." Marik narrowed his gaze as he raised his eyes to look at the wall, lowering his puzzle for a moment. "Ultimately, I need to learn to cope with the bad shit that's happened in my life because I can't keep dissociating and avoiding my problems."
Bakura studied Marik's profile. Though his words sounded sure, Bakura caught the nervous flicker in Marik's eyes, a hidden thought that wasn't voiced. Bakura raised his hands and rested them behind his head, trying to appear relaxed. "You seem a bit skeptical about this approach." Marik blinked as he turned around, almost surprised that Bakura picked up on this thought. Bakura just shrugged as he glanced away. He had known Marik long enough to pick up on these visual cues.
Marik sighed softly as he looked down at the bed to avoid meeting Bakura's gaze. His voice was soft and shaky, the nervous tremor undisguised. "… What if I can't get better? What if I can't learn to cope and I keep dissociating?" Bakura stared at Marik, his dark eyes stern. "Marik, you're going to get better." Bakura had only started talking when Marik cut him off. "You keep saying that, but what if I can't! I didn't even know that I was avoiding my problems so how am I supposed to learn now after all this time?"
Marik clenched his fists in his lap, his face contorted in frustration. "Bakura, you don't know what it's like in my head. I had always figured the blanks in my memories were just lapses of stress or being spacy. I didn't even know that I hurt you back before my trial. I just remember being so mad and furious and when I woke up, I found out from Ishizu that I had completely lost it. I didn't believe her until she showed me the camera footage. That's when I found out that I almost tried to… You don't understand how terrifying that is. When you can't even trust yourself."
Marik cut himself off before glancing away. Bakura said nothing, just watching Marik. After a moment, Marik lifted his head slightly to stare at the bed, a sorrowful look cracking through. "I just… I feel so broken. Like everything that's happened to me has just… destroyed me. And I don't know how to pick up the pieces. How do I live with my past if I couldn't accept it after all this time?" Marik spoke softly, the defeat evident in his face.
Bakura felt the pieces come together, the fear and concern Marik still held not seeming so fatalistic. He sat up, crossing his legs as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. Marik didn't look at Bakura, opting to stare at his hands still than meet the albino's gaze. After a moment, Bakura sighed as he glanced away. "Look, I don't know what it's like being you. I don't know what it's like having been through everything and I can't possibly know what it's like having DID. I can't know your struggle because I haven't gone through it."
Marik closed his eyes, ducking his head down. Bakura bit his lip as he thought before glancing away. "But I don't think your struggle defines who you are. You're more than your trauma. I'm more than a bitter asshole who was orphaned as a teen and forced to grow up sooner than he should of. I'm more than an older brother who made some awful decisions and later tried to justify his actions. My past isn't who I am, but it's a big part of me too."
Marik snapped his head around, almost surprised. Bakura now avoided his lavender eyes, feeling uncomfortable explaining so much. He had never explained his past at any lengths to anyone before. It felt… uncomfortable but relieving at the same time. "What I'm trying to say is that we each have our shit that's made us who we are. Your shit forced you to create an alter ego to protect you. My shit turned me into a reclusive asshole… Not really the same thing, I know. But it's the hands we're dealt in life."
Marik snorted as he glanced away. "I wish I had been dealt a different hand then." Bakura chuckled, a small smirk growing on his face. "Yeah, I can understand that feeling. But at the same time, I wouldn't want a different hand." Marik raised an eyebrow, glancing back over at the albino. "Really? You're glad about everything that's happened to you in your life?" Bakura winced slightly, not missing the accusation in Marik's voice.
"No, but at the same time, this is my lot. It makes me – me. Of course I would want my family back, but at the same time, I don't feel like my life has been terribly awful. It's been hard and there are times I've made some dumb as hell mistakes. Some things I can't change. But even if I could go back and change my own choices, I wouldn't." Bakura shrugged as he studied Marik's comforter. If there was one thing that hadn't change about him, it was his stubbornness. Even in the face of trial and pain, he was too headstrong to consider taking a different course.
Marik also picked up on the irony. "You know, sometimes I wonder if I'm the one who really needs to be in a psych ward. I don't know your whole life, but I can definitely say that you've made some fucking stupid decisions." Marik smirked at the albino. Bakura snorted as he glanced away. Part of him wanted to drop it, but part of him wanted to justify his response. "I know it's dumb, but I'd still do it."
Marik rolled his eyes as he chucked. "And what was so worth it that you'd go through hell and back again?" Bakura bit his lip as he glanced away to glare at the wall. "If I hadn't gone through everything I did, I wouldn't have run into you. And for all that's happened, I'm glad that I met you." The awkward silence that followed caused a rush of red to flood Bakura's cheeks. I swear if Marik cracks some dumb joke right now, I could kill him. This is mortifying enough as it is.
After a few moments, Bakura decided to steal a glance at Marik. The youth in question didn't stare at Bakura in a twisted or evil way as he had expected, but rather pensive. It was almost as if Marik was seriously considering Bakura's words. In a way, that was worse than just teasing Bakura and mocking him. What if Marik didn't wish the same? After a while, Marik gave a light smile, staring down at his bed instead of meeting Bakura's eyes. He nodded as he sighed.
"Yeah. When you put it that way, I guess I'd still do it all over again if I had the chance… I can't change everything that happened, but I wouldn't take back the choices I made. Because that's how I felt and that's what was important to me… Is it wrong that I feel that way, though?" There was a wavering note in Marik's voice, almost as if unsure in himself.
Bakura could understand that hesitation – so much of Marik's life was out of his control. What few choices he had in his life, Marik had made some dangerous and reckless decisions. Some of his decisions weren't entirely his, as he was influenced by Namu at the time. But still, Bakura understood Marik's feelings. He understood how these decisions and actions were what made Marik who he was. For good or bad, all of these choices defined Marik as the individual he was as well as who he was becoming.
Whatever the case was, Bakura realized Marik was waiting for his response. Bakura shrugged as he looked back up at Marik. "I don't really know. I don't think it's wrong or right necessarily – it's just who we are. It's not our circumstances that define us, but our actions. And I think you accepting and understanding why you did what you did is a big step forward." Marik thought over his words for a moment, huffing lightly at the realization.
Bakura bit back the smirk, feeling pleased that he had reassured Marik in his own way. It was difficult at first, but Bakura kept finding ways to support and encourage Marik. He knew that the therapy sessions could be exhausting and that it was difficult for him to see his progress. But Bakura could see it each time he visited – Marik just needed the help to see it in himself. Marik raised a hand to brush his bangs out from his face, one hand drawing aimless patterns on the bedsheets.
"You think I'm getting better then?" Bakura chuckled as he leaned back on one arm. "Yeah. You're getting there. And if you need help, I'll be here to nag you." Marik snorted, but his eyes remained focused on his hand drawing on the bed, the other hand now propping up his head. "It could be awhile, you know. It might be years before I'm 'cured.'" Bakura just shrugged, a smirk growing on his face. "I don't mind waiting. I'm a patient man."
Marik chuckled, rolling his eyes at the albino. Bakura's smirk faded slightly as he studied Marik. He licked his lips nervously as he stared at Marik's hand on the bed. He felt nervous about what he was to throw out to Marik. Part of him felt it was far too forward for him to suggest the idea, but he also knew this idea would nettle away at him until he said something. Bakura cracked his knuckled with his thumb as he turned to stare the floor. The floor was a much safer place to focus instead of potentially getting lost in his lavender eyes.
"And… I don't know if this is something that would interest you, but when you leave this place… I don't know if you had plans in mind… But I'm getting my own apartment. It'll be quiet and I don't like people so there won't be a lot of visitors bugging us. But I'll get games and a TV so we could watch movies if you want… But only if you want to. If you want to stay. I mean, for a while. I don't know how long- I mean. Fuck. I'm just letting you know, if you need a place to stay afterwards… my apartment will always be open."
Bakura felt immensely stupid for trying to make the offer. Every goddamn time, I choke up my fucking words and I look like a fucking moron. Why the fuck do I keep fucking doing this to myself? Bakura knew his face was blotchy and red, so he stared angrily at the ground. He could feel Marik staring at him, those goddamn lilac eyes just boring into him. Bakura felt like an idiot, but what was he supposed to do now? Retract his offer and look like an asshole? He already was an asshole, but more so than usual?
Bakura flushed as he heard Marik break the silence, his laugh ringing through the air. Bakura stole a glance over at Marik, his breath catching as the youth beamed happily at the albino. "You really are stupid. I think I'll take you up on that, so save me that spot. Like I said before – I'm curious to see what kind of place would a master thief live." Bakura was ready to make a snappy retort when he paused, realizing that Marik wasn't only insulting him.
"… Yeah, sure, whatever." Bakura muttered, a smirk growing on his face as he tried to shove aside the rush of embarrassment. At least he wasn't blushing anymore. If anything, Bakura felt relieved and thrilled that Marik had said yes. After thinking hard and long about it, the thought finally occurred to him as to why he had felt so hesitant about the whole moving out. Even though Ryou was a rather quiet presence most of the time, the thought of being completely alone in his own apartment didn't sit well with him. The lonely bachelor life honestly felt depressing to the former thief.
The thought that he wouldn't always be alone was a huge relief.
Bakura shook his head to clear away his insecure thoughts as he reached over to Marik's bedside table. He pulled out a deck of cards, grinning at the way the young man in front of him perked up. He's amazingly predictable in a way. Bakura settled as he enjoyed himself a leisurely afternoon of games, art and snarkiness. The scene was so alien and yet so familiar for the two. Occasionally when the rec room was empty, the two would go there to watch a movie together. Anzu would often come by later, baffled as to who locked the door to the public area. Bakura and Marik would be oddly silent at those times.
Several hours passed before Bakura had realized it, with only the smell of dinner down the hall making them aware of how much time had passed. Bakura ran through his mental checklist as he tried to recall if he forgot anything as he made his way to the door. As Bakura was muttering his goodbyes, his mind half-occupied, he felt Marik grab his shoulder. Bakura raised a confused eyebrow as he glanced behind. "What is it?" Bakura wasn't entirely sure, but it seemed like Marik always had something eating at his mind.
To his surprise, Marik seemed rather earnest and concerned. "You'll come back, right?" Bakura frowned as he turned around. Even though he had always come back to visit, Marik had always made a point of asking if the albino would visit again. Bakura understood the first couple of times, but it's been weeks now. Hell, it's almost been two months – why does he keep asking me? Bakura, even now, found himself still confounded by Marik's odd behavior. Some things never change.
"Why do you keep asking that? You know I'll come back and irritate you some more. This is odd even by your standards." Marik glared at Bakura, an odd blush growing on his face. He crossed his arms as turned to stare at the ground to avoid looking at Bakura, his face revealing both embarrassment and annoyance. "I know! But… I still worry that you won't. It's not like I think you're lying or anything… I just- I feel better when I hear it from you."
Bakura tilted his head slightly, noticing the soft tremor at the end of Marik's explanation. He had seemed rather miffed and annoyed, but there was that soft tremor. Bakura could tell that he was being open and honest with him. Bakura thought for a moment, glancing around the room. Even though it wasn't a bad place to stay, Bakura realized that this was still Marik's prison. Until Anzu said that he was well enough, Marik would stay here and not wander outside for a long time.
In a way, Bakura took for granted how he come and go as he wanted. He was not bound to the premises – Bakura would make the venture out to see Marik. But more than that, Bakura was the only one between the two of them who could. Marik couldn't go see Bakura if he left. He had to wait until Bakura came back. Though Marik never said out loud, Bakura knew that Marik enjoyed his company immensely, despite how he might deny it. Bakura could definitely affirm the same for himself.
Bakura looked back at Marik, who was looking away. Marik twirled a lock of golden hair between his fingers as he seemed lost in thought elsewhere. Bakura snapped his head away, not wanting to be caught staring. Bakura felt his chest clench, all too aware of his own feelings towards Marik. And although he had known go into this that he and Marik would only be friends, it didn't change the fact that he loved Marik. He accepted the fact that Marik wouldn't reciprocate his feelings.
So why did Bakura feel a flutter of hope when he saw Marik steal a glance back towards him before rapidly looking away?
Bakura flicked his eyes back up to Marik, the space between the two gradually closing as the two had subconsciously drawn closer to each other. In his head, Bakura knew things wouldn't work out – there was too much that happened for him to consider things going any further than its current state. He honestly had expected Marik to hate him forever, so their tentative restart to their friendship was more than Bakura could have hoped for. It didn't help that the two of them were terrible about being open about this sort of stuff to each other.
Bakura knew he shouldn't act on instinct because that usually was stupid way to go. Gut reactions and acting out on his desires was something that Marik did – not the great former Thief King. But after weeks of walking on eggshells around each other, Bakura felt tired of always being cautious and reserved around Marik. Bakura felt all desire to think rationally go out the window when he saw Marik steal a glance at the albino. Instead, he decided to act on this sudden impulse.
Before Marik could react, Bakura leaned forward, closing the gap between them and lightly kissed the young man in front of him. It was more of a peck than anything else, but the reaction was instantaneous, both of them blushing madly. Bakura glared at the ground to avoid looking at Marik. He didn't know if Marik would be pissed or upset with him for doing that. But after everything they had been through, what's the worst that could happen? If Bakura had overstepped a boundary, he would apologize and just move on. He could go about his life and ignore the stabbing feeling his chest.
Bakura kept avoiding Marik's eye, instead focusing on the wall next to them. He shoved his hands in his pockets as he sighed, struggling to keep up his indifferent façade. "Marik, I'll always come back. I'm coming back every day until the day you leave this place. Cause you're coming back with me, alright?" Bakura hated not knowing what Marik was thinking or how he felt. He had always taken for granted how Marik would almost always make the first move in their tentative relationship before. He had no idea how vulnerable it would make him feel.
Bakura stood there, feeling more like an idiot with each passing second. He was jolted from his anxious thoughts by a hand on his jaw. Bakura started at the sensation, confused as he felt another hand rise up, Marik now cupping Bakura's face. Bakura blinked rapidly as he felt a pair of lips press rather forcefully against his own. Bakura didn't understand how this was happening, but he found that he didn't particularly care. He had far more important things on his mind, like how amazing Marik's soft lips felt against his own.
Bakura returned the kiss in fervor, feeling rather breathless and giddy. When Marik pulled at his bottom lip with his own lips, Bakura felt his own mind scramble at the sensation. Oh fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck… Bakura was incapable of forming any intelligent thought, a stream of cusses and swears forming as a mantra in his head. Who the fuck cared how this all started? Bakura didn't give a shit. He had forgotten how incredible it felt to be close – physically and emotionally – to Marik.
Even if Bakura wasn't entirely what this entirely meant.
All too soon, Marik pulled away, ending the kiss. Bakura was still in a daze, his eyes fluttering open. When had he closed his eyes? Bakura focused on the lavender eyes in front of him, confused by the smirk Marik gave him. Bakura tried to focus as Marik let go of the albino to place his hands on his own hips, the Egyptian looking rather confident. "Alright. I'll hang around for you then. Just don't keep me waiting too long."
It took a moment before Bakura finally made sense of what happened. He gave a breathless chuckle, a grin growing on his face. "Well, alright then. I'll see you in a couple days. Don't get into too much trouble." Marik laughed out loud, an arrogant smirk on his face. "I make no promises!" Bakura rolled his eyes, feeling less flustered and more relaxed. He never could crack the code that was Marik Ishtar, even now. Not that that was a bad thing.
Bakura stepped backwards out the door, his smirk gone as a natural smile took its place. A once rare smile was becoming more common each time Bakura hung out with Marik. He knew things were still rocky. He knew they would be for awhile. But Bakura didn't feel as overwhelmed and worried as before. Instead, he felt calm, even reassured that things would somehow work out. It may not always be easy and it would most definitely be tough at times. But Bakura knew that he and Marik would find a way, no matter the difficulties ahead. Bakura liked a challenge.
After all, the Thief always got what he wanted.
AN: And that's it. Thank you so much for reading this through all the way to the end. So many mixed emotions about finally finishing this. It's rather bittersweet to see it all end, but I'm happy with the final product.
(Btws - Tes the title reference has been planned since chapter 1. Terrible but I can't help it)
A special thanks to my beta reader and best friend – my ineffable roommate. She is the real MVP who helped improve my writing immensely because she's awesome. Thank you for indulging my hobby by reading my fictional work based off another person's idea and property!
Thank you to the readers who stuck with me throughout this endeavor, in particular EyeDen47, , . 1, Riku Nanase, klaraz11, Darkhorse Douglas, Glitchpng, KatsuyaJou, KirschBluetenK, , Rinfantasy, ThayetRosethorn, YamiCreampuff, voxnocturnum, Alice Celestian, Mirria1, sayonoyoru and to the countless other readers whom I don't know but apparently dropped in to read as indicated on the view count and guest reviews. Your reviews, interest, and dedication to this story was really inspiring and helped me stay motivated and commit to this.
Thank you again. I hope you all enjoyed it. I hope to put up a one-shot in a couple of weeks, but until then – restez calme et tennez bon, mes amis!