Disclaimer: Based on real events, but some things are made up to help the story. Slight AU. Goes in a different direction.
Chapter 5 - February 2nd, 2017
"Am I crazy, or maybe this might be something real? Under the surface and nerves and the logic, do you feel what I feel? There's something about the two of us. There's no denying, there's no denying. I'm hypnotized, it's such a rush, don't wanna hide it, don't wanna hide it. Each breath I'm tryna keep my cool. Each step I don't know what to do. Are there consequences in the truth? If you only knew." - Excerpt from If You Only Knew, Jade Alleyne
"Now here's an exclusive interview with Miley Cyrus, Nick Jonas, and Demi Lovato—"
Nick shut off the TV in exasperation. It was as if every single channel had something that revolved around something like this. Demi, he knew, was drinking up the attention but defending both Nick's and Miley's privacy on social media. Nick wasn't really a fan of drama to begin with—the fact that it was evading his life (his life!) was even worse.
Miley and Demi were another curious thing.
They seemed to have rekindled their friendship, and he saw several pictures of Miley with Demi in both girls' social media. They seemed to be having a great time, and Demi had even captioned, just chillin' with my best bud, in one of her photos. In her others, she had either puts hearts or something like, love this gurllll. Same thing with Miley's posts.
It was weird, but at the same time, sort of weirdly perfect.
Meanwhile, Nick was a nervous wreck. He had just finished sound check with Demi and was in a hotel in LA, so that he was close to the stadium he was going to perform at. He was lounging on a chair in his hotel room with a guitar resting on the wall beside him and a pad of paper with writing scrawled on it, some of which was crossed out and rewritten. A pencil rested on the pad of paper.
Nick could go bother Demi—she was just in the hotel room beside his—but he knew she had her own life and didn't need his bombarding hers.
Nick pulled out his phone and went on Instagram, smiling as he saw the new photo Miley had posted. It was a picture of her with her dog Emu. Miley looked so beautiful, naturally beautiful, with no make up clouding her face. She looked beautiful with make-up, but the little flaws (if she even had any; Nick was a biased person when comparing Miley) about her made her even more perfect.
Nick sank further back into the comfort of his seat. He had seen so much more of Miley in the past few days than he had in the past few years. It was overwhelming—like a Miley overload—but, somehow, in the best way. He had missed her so much, but whenever he saw her (whether it was in person or on TV or something), he always seemed to freeze or make a fool out of himself.
Nick Jonas—the super cool singer/songwriter—could apparently handle anything and everything except her.
A loud knock sounded on his door, and Nick wearily looked at it. "It's open!"
The door burst open, and Demi entered, looking classy in a navy leather jacket with a overly-sequined belt. "Stop brooding."
"Who said I was brooding?" Nick demanded.
"You were obviously brooding."
Nick sighed and sank further into his seat. "Go away. I'm sleeping."
Demi slapped his arm lightly, and Nick reeled away, rubbing his arm as if she had whipped him. She rolled her eyes. "Stop being such a girl, Nick." Nick opened his mouth to speak, but Demi interrupted him. "Anyway, we're done with soundtrack, so you might as well get out of this damn hotel and have some fun." He quirked a brow, and Demi sighed. "You're really, really impossible, you know?"
"Oh? I wonder what that reminds me of."
Demi ignored his comment and took a seat opposite to him. "So, what're you doing for the show?"
"Who said I was doing anything?"
"Miley's there," Demi said with a roll of her eyes. "Not that anyone knows that—but you're obviously doing something."
"Your statements are utterly contradictory."
"I hope you realize that's not the right word."
"And I hope you realize that I want to kick you out of my room."
Demi sniffed exaggeratedly. "You don't appreciate me enough."
Nick sighed, sensing a kernel of truth behind her exaggerated words. "I'm sorry. I'm just—"
"—frustrated and confused, and there's no one but me to lash out at?" Demi guessed. He nodded numbly, trying to smile but knowing that whatever appeared on his face was unnatural as it felt. Demi smiled, and Nick basked in her positive attitude. It was tiring sometimes, to be honest, but he loved Demi like a sister, and she could always make him feel better—even if it was just for a heartbeat.
He smiled wearily. "Can you just read my mind now?"
"No, I can just read you," Demi said in a rare moment of utter seriousness. Then, she perked up. "So, is it a secret or what?"
"What?" Nick said, feeling guilty and not sure why.
Demi laughed. "What you're doing for the concert!" Nick smiled coyly and mimed locking his lips with a key and throwing the key away. Demi's lips puckered into a pout. "Pleaseeee! You know me! I can't wait that long!" she all but wailed. Nick couldn't help but smile at Demi's girlishness. Demi crossed her arms. "When I die of starvation from knowledge, it'll be on you."
Nick chuckled. "It's—what?—less than a day. I'm sure you'll survive."
Demi dramatically collapsed on the ground, feinting death. Nick laughed. She looked so ridiculous on the ground. "Haha, once again, your superior wit has gotten the better of me," he said sarcastically.
She opened one eye and said seriously, "Some say a man who cannot laugh is a very poor man indeed."
Nick scoffed. "Me? Poor? In your dreams."
Demi laughed. "Yes, but in your dreams, you would also have everything else you want..." He heard the hidden meaning behind her words and ignored it. Demi continued on, "Nick, I know you don't mean to ruin things with Miley and Liam." He groaned, and she quirked an eyebrow at him, confused. "What? You want to ruin her relationship—engagement—with him?" Then, she thought it over. "Of course you don't. But you still want her—"
"—not this again," he groaned.
"Yes, this again!" Demi said indignantly. "Take a good look at yourself in the mirror, Nick—"
"—I already do that—"
"—and think about how you're going to do this. Is Miley in love with Liam? She had a good thing going with him, and you just dropped the bomb on top of everything," Demi said, arms crossed. Nick frowned. Demi had a point. "If you really loved her, you'd want her to be happy. She was fine without you—she doesn't need you to break her heart yet again—"
"—she broke my heart, too!"
"This isn't about you," Demi snapped. "You could've gotten another girl—"
"—but they'll never be Miley," Nick interrupted. "Demi, I've been in love with her since I was a little more than a kid."
Demi sighed. "Don't break her heart—and you know what I mean. I'm just saying. If she dumps Liam but doesn't get with you..." He raised an eyebrow doubtfully. "I'm just putting the suggestions out there. She could end up really hurt. She's my best friend—she's still the down-to-earth girl I knew. She's always been down-to-earth though her fashion choices can be vulgar."
"She is down-to-earth," Nick agreed, "more so than most people involved in the music business. She's nice and kind..."
Demi bit her lip. "Just don't... break her."
He snorted. "Nobody can break Miley Ray Cyrus."
Demi narrowed her eyes. "If anyone can, it would be you." She stood up. "Well, I'll see you later, Nick."
"Wait!" The word came out more forcefully than intended. She raised an eyebrow in surprise. Nick sighed. "I'm sorry," he said miserably. "Everything's just... complicated right now." Demi sighed a little, gaze weary. She walked over and squeezed his shoulder. Nick watched her, and a chill chased into his belly, despite the fact that there was no wind in the room.
"Complicated," Demi repeated.
"Simple and complicated and impossible and irreversible," Nick burst out. He closed his eyes. "It's just... when you say it all like that... I realize how much I've really done..."
"Well..." Demi stared uneasily. "I really don't know what you should do. Get some rest. You look past dead, and you've got this huge concert tomorrow."
Nick bit his lip. "You're friends with Miley again." He didn't ask it. It was a statement.
Demi nodded quietly. "I'm seeing it from both sides..."
This piqued Nick's interest. "Does she talk about me?"
"Best friend's honor, I can't tell you," Demi said, crossing her arms. Nick glanced at his guitar, and Demi stood up. "I hope you're not going to do something big at the concert. I don't think Liam would be too pleased," Demi warned. "And Miley..?" Demi shifted uncomfortably. "I don't know. She's really confused right now. You two ended things, and she thought... well, you know, that you had moved on, as well. You've really messed with her head."
"I know," Nick said, feeling a pang ring through his chest. "You'll tell her I didn't mean anything like..."
"I'll tell her," Demi assured him. "And then some. Nick, pull yourself together. The last time you were this depressed was when you and Miley broke up. You've survived without her for a good number of years—what changed?" Demi paused. "Or... did you just think you had a chance because Miley didn't want to marry when Trump was president?"
"I don't know!" Nick exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation.
Demi strode over to the door. "Think about what you're going to do, Jonas." And she was gone, and Nick was left alone with his thoughts.
Nick had sort of come with the same conclusions Demi had, and he was sorry that Demi was in the middle of all of this, but... as much as Nick didn't want to hurt Miley (though he was sure he had already), he was hoping peer pressure would get her to... crack? No, that wasn't the word. He wasn't sure what he wanted now. Yes, he wanted Miley, but... his plan in his concert was already a little sketchy, but what if it didn't, you know, work?
A blank feeling settled over Nick, and he felt like he couldn't breathe, but at the same time, he felt like he was choking on something that wasn't there—like the feeling he had when he found out that Miley was engaged. Shock had evaded his insides first, prickly and gelid and so, so cold, and then, the pain and hurt and regret and all those emotions that he didn't expect tumbled through him—first like a light rain sprinkling his body and then a harsh thudding of icicles in his heart, down his spine, piercing his soul.
His entire world had fallen apart...
...and somehow, Nick had gotten back up. Maybe he was only okay because he shoved her out of his life. At premieres and parties, he'd fake a smile and pretend everything was okay. But he hated smiling when he wasn't happy. He despised saying he was okay when he was not, when he felt like he was drowning all over again.
He didn't want her to have so much power over him. He wanted to be strong without her, like she had been. She had always been an independent person, but Nick had always depended on someone, whether it was family or friends. Miley was strong, stronger than Nick could ever be. And it didn't seem fair that he was holding on to nothing...
So why was he still fighting?
Wouldn't it be so much easier just to give it all up?
And Nick decided, very simply, that his thoughts were quite depressing.
QotD: What's your favorite Hannah Montana song?
#IDK. All of them?
A/N: Hey, it's Darky! I know this chapter was basically just a filler, and the end part was pretty depressing (I think), but I was just feeling so horrible and stuff and was listening to depressing songs (which probably wasn't the best idea), so this is what comes out of it. I know, the end result was pretty terrible, but next chapter will have all the juicy details! x3
Review your answer to the QotD! Tell me your thoughts? I appreciate it though you don't need to. But who doesn't love reviews? ;)
- Darky