"I don't think I'm ready…" Hellen started but Lana interrupted.
"Let me finish." She smiled at the couple. "Just touching, nothing else. And no touching the genitals or breasts."
"What's the point then?" Martin asked.
Hellen rolled her eyes, then looked at Lana, hoping the woman would change her mind on this bit of homework.
"The point is to touch and be touched and learn to enjoy it. It can be relaxing and arousing. Believe it or not, you can learn a lot about your partner with this exercise."
"Whatever you say." Martin shrugged. "I'll do whatever it takes."
Hellen sighed, "I'll do me best."
"Good." Lana nodded, all the while wondering if she shouldn't push Hellen to tell Martin what she'd remembered the other day about being assaulted. Seeing Hellen fidget, she realized that pushing her to reveal that, especially after the way she'd reacted to being asked if she'd ever told Martin, would be a terrible mistake at this point. Maybe later.
Vera shook her head and looked around, realizing that she'd dozed off in her chair at the table again. This was getting to be a nightly thing as each night she fought a losing battle to stay awake and not sleep in the hopes of avoiding more, well, hauntings. She'd come to the conclusion that no matter how many times she denied it, that was exactly what was happening.
Yawning as she stood and stretched, she shrugged her shoulders and made her way to her bedroom. If she was going to fall asleep anyway, she might as well toss about in her comfortable bed instead of sitting and growing stiff in that hard chair. She'd cracked her head on the table more times in the last week than she cared to think about. Of course, she'd dozed off at the table more times in this last week than she had ever done.
Settling down against her pillow, she sighed and let her eyes close, knowing that fighting sleep was useless.
Martin smiled as he touched his wife's shoulders and she jumped, scolding him for his cold hands. "Sorry, Love," he whispered then blew on his hands while rubbing them together trying to warm them. Touching her once again, he marveled at how very soft her skin was. Had she always been this soft to touch? "You're beautiful," he whispered.
"What?"
"Nothing. Just relax," he told her as he continued to massage her shoulders then moved down her back a bit before leaning over and pressing tender kisses to her lower back, working his way down.
"What are you doing?"
"She said hands or mouth."
"We're not having sex. Lana said that, too."
"This is sex. Turn over." Martin watched her turn over, glimpsing her breasts before she pulled her robe up to cover them. Tugging at it to pull it down, he frowned at her when she pulled it back up. Finding himself in a tug of war with his wife, Martin finally gave up and began to massage her legs under her robe, working his way down until suddenly she was moving away and sitting up. "What?"
"Your turn."
Martin frowned. What had he done? Surely this wasn't about the tug of war over her robe. Shrugging, he untied his robe then laid down, waiting for her to get comfortable.
Vera tossed about as images of the couple massaging and touching each other flitted through her dreams, the feelings Hellen had washing over her. Arousal, confusion, nervousness, too many things rattling around her brain. It's no wonder the woman had been uncomfortable while her husband had been massaging her the first time.
"Let me try you again, Love." Martin whispered as he caressed a wayward curl behind her ear.
Hellen nodded, feeling more relaxed this time than she had the first time. Laying down, she waited, sighing when Martin's hands gently touched her. His hands were warm this time when he touched her, his movements more tender. Letting her eyes close, she lost herself in the feel of being touched. She had never been touched like this, never enjoyed being touched in anyway other than a hug and a kiss, and even those things had become uncomfortable to her in the last few years.
Martin smiled when he heard a small moan slip from his wife's lips as he moved his hand over the curve of her buttocks. Who knew she would enjoy her bottom being massaged more than anywhere he'd touched? Concentrating on that spot, he elicited more moans and found himself grinning like a fool because he was causing his wife to make noises he'd never heard her make before.
Opening her eyes, Vera took a deep breath. Holy hell. If she didn't know better, if she were a teenager, she'd swear she was having a well…one of those types of dreams. At least that's what she felt like. Her body was tingling with sensations that she hadn't felt herself and it was playing havoc with her senses.
What the bloody hell kind of haunting was this anyway?
Who haunts someone with memories such as these?
Every damn one of them seemed to turn into something sexual which in turn did all sorts to Vera's body which hadn't been touched sexually in too many years to think about.
Vera scowled as she turned over and slapped at her pillow. "This is ridiculous, Hellen! Do you hear me?" she yelled then groaned. She was officially loosing her mind now, yelling at a dead woman. "Of course she doesn't hear you, daft old cow," she grumbled at herself before closing her eyes, wondering what sort of scene she was going to find herself in this time.
"So how did it go?" Lana asked the couple, watching as Martin smiled and reached out to clasp his hand around Hellen's.
Hellen nodded. "Okay, I suppose."
"It was wonderful. She was wonderful. She's so soft and smells gorgeous."
Hellen blushed and looked down at her lap. "Martin," she whispered.
"She was enjoying it. She was moaning while I was massaging her bottom."
"I was not." Hellen denied.
Lana chuckled at the couple. Hellen was clearly embarrassed by her reaction, but it was good to see that she'd enjoyed being touched considering the fact that she'd said in the beginning that she didn't want Martin near her much less touching her. "Was there anything you didn't like, Hellen?"
Hellen nodded. "When he touched the back of me thighs."
"That's when she turned over."
"Why didn't you like it?" Lana asked, watching Hellen fidget with the hem of her dress.
Hellen shrugged. "I just…I have a bit of cellulite."
Martin scoffed. "She has beautiful legs."
"Hellen, what really bothered you?"
"I feel like he," she started, her voice cracking. "What if he was comparing me to the young women he's had affairs with? It makes me feel uncomfortable."
Martin rolled his eyes. "What young women? There aren't any young women. I wasn't comparing you. I said you have beautiful legs and I meant it. I wouldn't mind…" he started the sighed when Hellen pulled her hand away.
"You wouldn't mind what, Martin?" Lana asked, almost sure she knew what his answer would be.
Martin shook his head. "Never mind. It doesn't matter. She wouldn't believe me."
"Hellen," Lana started. "maybe if you tell him the truth, he'll tell you the truth."
Hellen looked up at Lana, her eyes wild as she shook her head. "I can't."
Martin blinked in surprise as he watched the color drain from his wife's face. He'd never meant to hurt her, but maybe it was time. "I have had affairs," he admitted quietly.
Hellen closed her eyes, tears rolling down her cheeks. "I know," she breathed.
"It's been years since the last one though, you have to believe me, Hellen. I love you. I want you." Forcing her to let him hold her hand, he tugged gently. "Tell me what Lana wants you to."
"I can't, Martin. You said you love me," her voice cracked as tears rolled down her cheeks. "But you won't love me if I tell you the truth," she finished the stood up and rushed from the room.
Martin looked at Lana. "Tell me."
"I can't, Martin. She needs to. Go on. Go after her."
Vera was shaking when she woke, her face once again wet with tears. Wiping them away, she laid there staring at the ceiling, her heart breaking with the pain she'd felt from Hellen mixed with her own in sympathy for the fear the woman felt. Slowly drifting back to sleep, she saw flowers, hands fidgeting with…forget me nots?
Hellen fingered the soft petals of the flowers, mindlessly plucking them until she heard a noise and looked up. Feeling her heart begin to pound, she turned away. "Go away, Martin."
"No." Martin whispered as he moved further into the garden. Kneeling in front of her, he clasped her fidgeting hands. "Tell me, Love. What is it?"
"You won't love me anymore," she whispered as she tried desperately to pull her hands from his.
"Whatever it is, Love, it can't possibly change the way I feel about you." Martin caressed her hands trying to still their trembling. "Have you had an affair? Is that what this is about? I'd hardly have any right being angry about that."
"Oh god, I wish that was it," she cried. "Oh, please, Martin. Please let me go. Please," she begged.
Moving to sit beside her, Martin pulled Hellen against his chest, his arms wrapping as tightly as possible around her. "Tell me. It's hurting you. Tell me."
Clutching the lapel of his coat in her hand, Hellen finally managed to whisper the words she knew would rip her world apart. "I was dirty…soiled before I met you."
Martin frowned. "What? Hellen, love, you aren't making sense."
"Me mother…she said it was filthy and that I shouldn't tell because no man would ever want me."
"Hellen, love, what are you saying? Did someone hurt you?" Martin lifted her chin so that she had to look at him. "Tell me. Did someone," he swallowed. "Did your father hurt you?"
Shaking her head, Hellen swallowed down the bile that seemed to burn the back of her throat. "A man in the park. He was hiding in the bushes. His hand…" her voice broke and she had to swallow hard to keep from retching before managing to finish. "…between me legs."
"Oh god." Martin breathed as he pulled Hellen into his lap, holding her and weeping into her hair. "I'm so sorry, Love. So sorry."
Hellen wrapped her arms around Martin's neck and cradled his head in her hand. This wasn't how she expected him to react. Her mother had said no one would want her if they knew the truth, but here her Marty was, weeping into her hair. "Marty?"
Martin looked up, his hand reaching up caress her face. "What, Love?"
"You don't think me…" she started but stopped at the look on his face.
"No. I don't. I wouldn't have then, either. Your mother was wrong to make you feel that way, stupid old cow."
"But some men might have."
"They might have, but they wouldn't have loved you as much as I did and still do."
"Are you really not having an affair now?"
"Really. It's been years. I only had them because…"
"Because I wasn't giving you anything in return. I'm sorry."
"No, I'm sorry. If I hadn't been a selfish bastard, I might have seen there was a reason why you never liked sex. You always liked being cuddled and kissed, I should have questioned why you didn't like the other."
"You couldn't have known." Hellen sighed as she let her head rest against his. "Take me inside and hold me by the fire? Maybe touch me like you did the other night?"
Martin smiled and kissed her tenderly. "I'll do anything you want, Love. Maybe we should call Lana and let her know I've found you and that you're okay."
"Oh god, Hellen. You're breaking my heart." Vera cried as she came awake finally giving up and getting up. Another early morning visit to the club was in order to work this all out. As she got up, she frowned. "What about the other man? How does he figure into this?"