A/N: I don't even know where this came from. If u have a wee!chesters idea just PM me.
Before Mary died Dean talked. A lot. In fact, John often wished he would shut up. He talked about what he thought about everything and what he was feeling. What he said was always genuine and came from the heart. His emotions flowed out his mouth without any restraint. If he was hurting he had no hesitation in asking for helping or telling someone.
After Mary died Dean became silent. And when he did talk again he was taught to lie. To pretend to be someone else. At school he had to pretend to be 'normal'. When he was hurt he had to pretend to be ok. When adults interrogated him he had to pretend that everything was fine. When Sammy asked him when dad was going to be back he had to pretend to be in control. When he was forgotten he had to pretend he didn't care. He had to wear a mask of so often that eventually he didn't bother removing it.
One of the things he learnt when he wore a mask for the first time was that complaining about trivial things threw people of the scent. If he complained about the music they wouldn't noticed how upset he was. If he complained about a splinter they wouldn't notice the way he was struggling to stand up. If he complained about the food they wouldn't notice how desperate he was. He also learnt that is you act like an asshole people will generally leave you alone. And that making jokes, however bad they are, convinces people you are fine better than an assurance. Dean learned to be loud about the small things but silent about the things that mattered. It took his dad and brother way too long to realise that when he said he was fine he was screaming for help. That he wore a perfect facade. That just because he was speaking it didn't mean he was communicating. That sometimes he needed them to notice he was lying.