If Lyra kept telling herself that the hardest part of this plan was coming up with it, maybe she'd believe it.
Going back to Tap's was no turbulence-free flight, though. She transformed, hid in the shadows, then became visible.
Has she mentioned how ecstatic flying again is? Not as great to have to keep low, and she made a lot of noise, but in this lawless corner of a political prisoner wasteland, it wasn't as big a deal as initially expected. People kept their heads down here.
She'd love to flatter herself into thinking that nobody noticed and that this place didn't have all sorts of security measures similar to what Code Red had, but that would be a fool's assumption. Being paranoid had been Starscream's main complaint about her, yet he benefitted from it when it suited his purpose.
At least she had this direction. Popping her blasters out of subspace, she climbed the wall and landed on the roof with a louder than expected *thud*.
*pow*
Raise your hand if you didn't see THAT coming. At least they weren't completely sure where she'd come from, or that would have been the second face she'd need replacing. It illuminated her enough for them to know who they were dealing with, unfortunately`.
"YOU AGAIN!"
That seemed to be everyone's salutation. Never the Universal Greeting! Lyra was invisible and low to the ground, which meant they were trying to shoot higher objects, going with the rational deduction that she would go higher, as jets do. Some lucky break, being a car first before being mutilated. Now she was tripping them like an 80s cartoon.
The first one was unrecognizable and therefore useless to her, so he was dead. The second one trembled but did not waver.
"You are the worst Autobot ever," he snarled.
"You apparently never heard of my years as a Decepticon," she snorted back. "So Backbeat...want to let me into the nightclub the easy way, or is the hard way far more honorable? Please say 'easy,' I've already had a tough night."
"If you wanted to get in you shouldn't have killed my partner, 'cause he had the other half of the security lock in his processor."
"There's an emergency override inside. You just have to let them know."
"Like I'm gonna do that for you!"
She shrugged, even though he couldn't see it. "Okay!"
*pow*
TWO dead.
Fire a hole into the roof - probably a bad idea - try for where she thought they came in - a better idea - or just walk through the door like an idiot?
She hauled the smaller of the dead bodies in first, wrecking a card game. Everyone scattered for a second, giving her enough time to jump over the body and land in the shadow of Dark Bot's hiding place before the shock hit her left wingtip, causing her to pull back.
His angry roar came first. She decided that hearing "YOU AGAIN?" for the quintillionth time was boring. "Bah-weep-graaaaagnah wheep nini bong," she countered, keeping her voice as smooth as possible. How did Arkvander do it?
"YOU AGAIN!?"
"You were expecting Kickback?" There had to be something to short-circuit the force field, something simple, something even Wheeljack couldn't mess up...something... She inched along it, trying to keep her body from touching it, even as the bloodthirsty ruffians started moving towards her. "I need a couple of favors."
"You keep killing my soldiers and never get around to killing who I hired you to, yet you have the cast-iron manifolds to come back here and request assistance? VAPORIZE HER!"
It came to her immediately: if the field were incomplete, she could get a lot more accomplished than expected. Should this place lack a basement, though, forget it!
She shot through the floor, causing it to blister, then shatter. As she fell with the others she aimed for the spot in the now-ceiling that she thought might be supporting Dark Bot and fired. Better move it; the other assailants had landed in various levels of disarray, some able to bounce up and tackle her. There is no fun in being hit three different ways from three different directions. Once again, they assumed that as a jet, she would fly away instead of duck.
Dark 'Bot was holding on for dear life to the chair that threatened to slide into the hole stacked with angry Cybertronians who now knew what he looked like and were unimpressed with his average appearance. An ugly appearance, really.
"HEY!" Lyra remembered more colorful Earth phrases. "Are you MOTHER-FUCKING KIDDING ME!?"
The red, green, and neon orange bot realized that he was caught and scrambled to climb back up. NOW Lyra went into jet mode and grabbed that slag-sucking stutterer with a free arm, taking him as far away as possible.
His vocalizer wasn't the only hidden talent he had, however: one does not reach the peaks of brutality without knowledge of physical dominance. She was shrieking in pain a short distance later, forced to throw him on the roof of a building and chase him. After she'd shot his feet to hell she gave him a good swift kick in the stomach.
"AND STAY DOWN," she commanded. Primus, that hurt like a bitch!
"You will be dipped in acid SLOWLY," he promised. "I want your last moments to be EXCRUCIATING."
"I'm sure they will be, but not by your hand," she replied, shooting his foot a third time for good measure. "Tell me what kind of homing beacon you set off for your stooges to find you, and I'll let your other foot be repairable."
The bot tilted his head incredulously, as though he'd encountered a lunatic for the first time. "You have no idea who you are dealing with!"
Time to cuff his hands together. "Guess I'll have to dig around and pull it out myself!" she chirped, reaching for the obvious button. He didn't stop her. That meant something. Instead she put him on his stomach and reached for the shoulder.
"AUGH! NO! OK, OK, OK, I'll turn it off. Just-stay out of there!" Something was off about his performance. The miners she'd once worked with were malingerers, all of them, and they didn't act as insincere as this. She reached for the catch on his leg.
"NO! NO NO NO NO NO! Okay, okay it's OFF! Ya hear me, OFF! NOW QUIT IT!" Aha. The butt of the blaster rested on that spot, once his legs were secured.
"As I stated before...I need a couple of favors. You can radio your boys to get these objects and drop them off at specific coordinates and I'll pick them up at my leisure. I can pay you..." she paused to let him cackle over this. "Or you can consider my letting you continue to function a down payment."
"We will rape the slag out of you first..."
"I've been told I'm only mediocre, so you might get bored of that pretty quick. NOW, I've transmitted my demands and the place to get them, so go ahead and tell your boys and get a confirmation, 'cause I like to know these things went through..."
"...Peel your plating off piece by piece..."
"The Decepticons did that a while ago. It really stings, but after the fourth plate you stop feeling such intensity. Are they on their way?"
"...we will shatter your optics with our fists..."
"Had that done before, too. Didn't hurt so much as it was just inconvenient. Where's the confirmation?"
"...I personally will tear off your head and use it as an energon mug..."
"Well, that's a new one! Answer the question, please." He was wasting her time, and being a little slagger to boot. She ripped the plate in his leg off and heard him squeal.
"See, it really does sting. You should think about that before the next time your flunkies do that to some poor 'bot who only wanted to keep his paltry supply store open." He was fighting the restraints so badly she was afraid he'd hurt himself more than she would. "If I have to get out the soldering iron, I will."
He lay still.
"Much better, thank you. Now, again, please answer the question: where is their confirmation?"
"IN THE PIT, WITH YOU!" he screamed.
"Well, then you're just plain useless to me. I'll have to kill you and find another smuggler instead." She had a blaster that took a second to warm up and made a noise as it did it. "Bye-bye, Dark 'Bot."
"WAIT!"
She did. The warm-up noise hit a pitch too high to register to indicate that it was ready.
He took a very long time to get around to telling her. "They say it'll take two cycles."
"I don't have that time." She replied, knowing full well he was stalling. "They're almost here and if I see them, I'll have to kill you. None of them are that fast, since you were stupid and sent your best bruisers after Arkvander long ago and let me know who they are and how they fight." She let him have a second to digest this.
"My boys will-have to-have to go to earth to get it all."
"Nope. Headquarters has an embassy for the humans, you could get everything in the ingredients list yourself." She heard it in the air, loud and abrasive. They were coming. "If they haven't already sent a confirmation, we're done here, then." Stick the gun into the wiring and-
"They have! THEY HAVE! THEY HAVE!" this was true panic. The gun didn't leave its designated position.
"Where was this half a cycle ago? I'm on a time-table here, and you've wrecked it by being uncooperative."
His whole body and voice shook. "Holy Primus, you were a Decepticon."
"Don't throw your meager back-handed compliments at me." *beep* "There's the coordinates. They did their job, excellent." She bent over, putting her hand on his helmet to keep him still as she snarled in his audios. "I am keeping you alive only because you sprang me out of jail, albeit serendipity instead of any kind of generosity on your part. I only ask one more favor: you will wait ten micros before you sic your goons on me, no more, no less. Should I encounter ANY kind of interference, no amount of torture will keep me from finding a way to rectify the mistake I've made this evening. Good night."
She became invisible and transformed as she jumped off the building.
Starscream came stomping into his lab, muttering under his breath, letting the door *whoosh* behind him before stopping, staring at it in exasperation, and opening it again.
"Thank you," a disembodied voice said.
He would never get used to that. "There are no detection devices in here," he reminded her.
She reappeared, smiling. "Creeps you out to have me following you around all the time, doesn't it?"
He turned away. "You are not ruining my bad mood." She was more than likely looking over his shoulder. There she was. "You ARE ruining whatever good will I have towards you!"
Mishap smiled. "You know why I have to watch you." He had started walking towards his experimental table, paused, then walked to a counter and refrigeration unit, pulling things out of it. She loomed as he placed these on the table, making him consider her nuisance as a potential tool.
"Then be helpful!" he nudged a small book labeled Better Homes and Gardens New Cook Book towards her, out of his way. "Read the instructions."
She attempted to pick up the book but it tore to pieces in her hands. "I can't read this! No one has taught me these markings!"
He smacked the remains out of her hand and pointed to the screen. "I've translated it into Cybertronian."
"You set me up for disaster, then. Thanks." She could read all languages of Cybertronian just fine. Those tiny lines of shapes were beyond her education, however. "3/4 cup booter, softened."
He paused to transpose for the scale he was enlarging to and put something yellow into a container. "Proceed."
"Two...what is that word... oh, eggs."
"You've heard of eggs, have you not?"
"In one class, once. My tutor was not a proponent of comparative species. She thought I had a gift for politics, not zoology."
THAT amused him. "You had a tutor? My, you must have been high society!"
"And if I was, it doesn't matter, the Decepticons took it away." The Decepticons took away everything she'd ever known, ever.
Starscream cared not. "Next ingredient!"
"This part makes no sense."
"The sum of its parts will be comprehensive to ME. READ IT."
"Two cups all-purpose flawar."
He glanced at the screen. "I misspelled it. Close enough."
"Three-quarter cup unsweetened...some kind of powder...coh-coh?"
"Which I lack. MEGATRON!" He was on the radio too fast for Mishap to do anything other than duck first, disappear second.
The Decepticon leader - her boss - smoldered on the television. He was a living supernova, even at rest. "Starscream! My confection had better be complete, or else you are wasting my time!"
"It wants COCOA. I have none. Your Dino-beau better be ready for a bland cake, if I cannot use chocolate!"
"Nonsense! Soundwave!" He had turned to his left.
"Rumble, Frenzy, eject: operation: grocery shopping."
This was too much for Mishap, who had to leave the room to stifle her laughter.