Author's Note: Oh Jesus, I'm so so so so very sorry that this has taken forever to be updated. Dx I have like literally no excuse. Well, I mean I have a few decent excuses like the fact that I'm a Senior in high school and I'm also taking two college classes and I'm drowning in ridiculous amounts of work. But! I still feel horrible that I still haven't posted the last chapter of Hope Lost nor have I have updated this story in like forever. Again, I'm so so sorry, and thank you to everyone that is still following this story.

Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.

Warning: This has maleXmale relations, and hints at sex. You've been warned!

Chapter 5

Arthur stands by his bedroom window the next morning, watching his manservant prepare the horses for the day's journey. He had chosen his most trusted knights for the mission having already told Leon to tell the others to be prepared to leave bright and early. Arthur even had requested for young Mordred to accompany them. Despite what he saw earlier between Mordred and Merlin, Arthur was unwilling to distrust his young knight. Just seeing the skip in Merlin's step since Arthur witnessed the moment between young Mordred and his wayward manservant reaffirmed Arthur's belief that he should trust the young Druid. Surprisingly, Arthur had come to notice that Merlin was a quick judge of character. The manservant had been wary of Agravaine months before Arthur's uncle's betrayal became known. Even Morgana, before her act of betrayal, had received a brutal cold shoulder from the usually friendly man. Arthur may call the man an idiot, but he wasn't quite oblivious enough to not realize that said manservant seemed to know a lot more than he ever admits.

As the King stands contemplating the mystery that was his manservant, Guinevere walks up behind Arthur and lays a gentle hand on his arm. "Are you sure you want to do this, Arthur? You could just send the knights to check the woman's story; you don't have to go yourself."

Arthur turns to his beloved Queen, taking her hand in his own, "I need this Guinevere. I have too much on mind and the castle suffocating me. You know I've always been more of a knight than I have been a politician."

Guinevere laughs softly, shaking her head in her bemusement, "I can never discourage you from actively protecting your people, can I?"

"I wouldn't be the man you fell in love with if I didn't."

Guinevere kisses Arthur on the cheek before pulling away to offer her golden King an understanding smile. Both the King and Queen glance out the window to see Merlin preparing the horses. The young manservant seems to be laughing at something, shooting a glare off into the distance at someone the royal couple cannot see. The Queen turns to Arthur, looking thoughtful, "Have you two made up yet?"

Arthur shifts uncomfortably, unsure of how to reply. In a way, the answer to his Queen's question was yes for Arthur did apologize to his friend, but the doubt and swirling confusion that tossed and turned in the King's mind believed that the peace between the two friends was only temporary. Especially with the precarious position the manservant's magical lover was in. "I believe that for now we'll be fine, but I don't think everything has been resolved." Arthur huffs, "Merlin has always been a riddle wrapped up in a mystery and now I know there is even more layers to the man that I never even considered."

The King sighs, taking a seat at his desk with a groan, "It seems he's been hiding so much more from me than I realized." He glances at his Queen, an empty pain in his eyes, "I always thought we were friends even if we never spoke of it, but now I'm not even sure the man trusts me."

"Of course he trusts you, Arthur! He would lay down his life for you, and even has on occasion. He wouldn't just do that for anyone. He's your closest friend, Arthur. Always has been."

Arthur slams his hands down on the table, his temper getting the better of him. "Then how come I didn't know!" He shoots to his feet, pacing the length of the room. "He never showed any signs of distress or grief when Ethan and this Freya died. He told me that he never met his father, yet I overheard Mordred suggesting that there was more to the story than Merlin told me. I told him everything, and he's been there for me through Morgana and Agravaine's betrayal and my father's death."

Guinevere moves to Arthur's side, laying a hand on his shoulder to stop his pacing. "It seems like, Arthur, that you're more upset that you weren't there for him when you feel that you should have been. You're not angry at Merlin, you're angry for Merlin. You feel guilty for possibly pushing your closest friend away when he needed you most."

Arthur swallows hard, letting Gwen's statement sink in as his rage fades under the tidal wave of guilt. Because it was true, Arthur didn't feel any true angry at his young friend. Sure he was hurt that Merlin clearly didn't confide in him. But, Arthur felt more guilt for not proving to Merlin that he could confide in the King. Merlin was Arthur's closest friend, and if the manservant didn't feel he could talk to the King what did Arthur's people think. Did they believe him unapproachable? Uncaring? Arthur wanted his people to know he would hear them out, and he wanted his friends to know that they could come to the King for anything. Arthur wasn't his father, he was a man first and a King second. He didn't want to make the same mistake of pushing everyone away like Uther did. Uther's cold, tyrannical behavior had been the last King's downfall and had turned his own daughter against him.

Arthur pulls his Queen in for another gentle kiss. He continues to hold her in an embrace as he smiles softly at Guinevere. "You always seem to know what I'm thinking before I even do." He chuckles, "I'd be lost without you."

Guinevere pulls away from Arthur, grinning playfully, "Of course you would." She pushes Arthur towards the door, "Now go on, you have a village to go rescue."

/BREAK/BREAK/BREAK/

Merlin, Arthur, and the other knights in the party set out from Camelot a few hours after daybreak. As usual, Arthur rode in front with Merlin at his right side, joking around like they usually did. The other knights' cold shoulders had thawed at seeing Merlin and Arthur's joking around. The atmosphere amongst the group was light-hearted despite the fact they were riding out to face an unknown magical creature. Gaius had been unavailable at the time for Arthur to ask his advice, so they were essentially riding out blind.

Yet, despite their lack of information or knowledge the group was in high spirits. Even Merlin, the most cautious of them, was babbling and insulting Arthur with casual ease. The group traveled for most of the day, only stopping as the sun began to dip below the horizon and the sky was painted a somber orange.

The knights dismount from their horses with practiced ease, leaving the horses for Merlin to tend to. Merlin, having already dismounted and started the campfire, walks over to tie the horses to the trees. The knights take a seat beside the campfire, the good humor from earlier fading as talk of strategy picked up. "I say, we ride out early tomorrow. That way we'll reach the village by early afternoon." Elyan offers.

Leon wisely states, "That does seem like the best course of action. If we're to believe that the beast only attacks after the sun descends then we wouldn't want to blunder into the village unprepared just as the creature arrives."

Arthur nods, agreeing with his men. "Then we'll set out before dawn." He looks at each of his men, "Do any of you have any of idea what creature we might be facing."

Everyone seated around the fire shakes their head. Puzzled expressions mar the knights' faces as finally the concern and worry catches up with them. "I believe it to be a griffin, sire."

Arthur looks up, surprised by whoever added in their input. Mordred, the one who spoke up, had just returned from refilling the water pouches for the other knights. He takes a seat on the ground beside Gwaine, looking wiser and more knowledgeable than any man of his youth should. Mordred calmly repeats, "From what the woman described, I believe it to be a griffin."

For a moment, Arthur frowns while thinking over what Mordred said. Then suddenly, the puzzle pieces click together in the King's mind and he exclaims suddenly, "I've faced a griffin before!"

Percival, Elyan, and Gwaine look confused by Arthur's statement as they are unable to remember such an incident. Sir Leon looks contemplative; probably remembering vaguely the slain griffin Arthur spoke of. Merlin walks over and settles by the fire with a pot as he starts setting up to cook dinner, "You didn't slay the griffin, though," Merlin teases as he stirs the fire with a branch.

Arthur momentarily looks sheepish before huffing arrogantly, "That is beside the point."

The other knights don't seem very reassured by Arthur's statement as Gwaine sneers, "I think actually Princess, that's very much the point. If you didn't kill the griffin, who did?"

Arthur grumbles, shifting in his seat uncomfortably, "Lancelot. Lancelot killed it."

Percival eyes brighten with recognition, remembering Lancelot mentioning it when the two had traveled together. Elyan looks like he had swallowed something bitter at the mention of Sir Lancelot, and Sir Leon has a look of admiration plastered on his face as he adds in, "He was a brave man for facing the griffin. Especially after he was thrown in the dungeons and stripped of his knighthood."

Arthur was especially surprised at the tidal wave of grief that seems to take over Merlin's eyes behind his usual mask. The King knew Merlin had been close to Lancelot before, but Arthur had thought Merlin had lost his respect in the dead knight after Lancelot had betrayed his King's trust by romancing the Queen. Absently Merlin murmurs, "He was always too honorable to his own detriment."

All of the knights exchange weird looks, unsure if Merlin even realizes what he just said out loud. Arthur's jaw clenches slightly at the respectful glint in Merlin's eyes, not pleased to see the respect and care that Merlin still holds for the man that betrayed him. "Lancelot was a traitor to the crown in the end."

Merlin seems to snap out of his memories, his eyes growing stormy with anger and shockingly, guilt. The manservant opens his mouth, prepared to retort, then stops and closes his mouth silently before stalking out of camp in a huff. The rest of the group shares confused and worried looks as the young man disappears into the forest.

It was past nightfall before the group began to start to worry about Merlin. The King decided to send Mordred off to fetch the wayward manservant in hopes that the servant's lover could convince him to return back to camp. The knights, showing their worry more than their king, paced around the camp doing Merlin's chores for him. The knights and king having already eaten now are cleaning up the camp and setting up the bedrolls in painful silence. The chirping of the birds and the men's breathing was the only noises that could be heard in the nearly still forest. It was only when the majority of the knights had already lain down to sleep for the night that Mordred and Merlin finally returned. The King, who had taken the first shift to guard, was relieved to see the return of his manservant even if the two men ignored the King completely and immediately when to their rolls to sleep. It was only as Arthur sat there watching the two raven haired men drift off to sleep that Arthur began to really ponder why Merlin looked so guilty before storming off.

/BREAK/BREAK/BREAK/

The fire crackled and sputtered, struggling to stay alive as the night drew on. It was the dead of the night and the only two souls awake at this late hour was the young King Arthur and his first knight Leon. Leon, having woken to relieve Arthur of his shift, noticed Arthur's thoughtful expression and decided to take a seat beside his siege.

It pained the loyal knight to see such a withdrawn expression on his youthful king. The king was much too young and too new to his kingship to have such worry lines on his face. "Are you alright, my lord?" Leon murmurs softly, not wanting to disturb the other men.

For a moment, Leon feared the king would not answer his question and would only become more withdrawn, but after a long pregnant pause Arthur finally stirred, "Do you believe magic to be evil, Sir Leon?"

Leon blinks in surprise, taken aback by the king's strange question. The knight follows the king's line of sight to the two raven haired men that the king was staring at with a haunted expression. The young knight and the older manservant were laying far too close for the relationship between the two not to be personal in nature. It was unsurprising to the observant first knight, who had already noted the two men had been dancing around each other for some time. What did surprise the knight was that the king was staring at the two men as he asked such a strange question. "Magic is against the law, my lord." Leon finally replied concomitantly.

This finally seemed to draw Arthur's attention away from the two sleeping men to stare at Leon with a daring expression, "That isn't what I asked you, Leon. Do you personally believe magic to be evil?"

Leon struggles for a moment, torn between his loyalty to the law and his own personal feelings on the subject. In the end, his loyalty to the young king wins out, "I do not personally believe magic to be evil, my lord."

The king continues to stare at Leon as if measuring Leon's honesty before finally nodding stiffly at Leon's answer. "Why?"

Again, Leon struggles for the correct wording to get his point across without offending his young King. "Magic once saved my life if you remember, my lord. If the Druids had not stopped to treat me with the Cup of Life, I would not be here today."

The king looks puzzled for a moment as if he was trying to remember that particular moment in history again, before nodding once more and looking away with a renewed thoughtful expression. Leon, realizing that the king was not planning to go to sleep anytime soon, settles back as comfortably as possible against a nearby tree and watches the fire dwindle to embers with the troubled King seated beside him.

Author's Note: Again, I am so sorry for how long this has taken me to post. And another huge thank you to all my followers who have been so freaking patient with me as I take my sweet time getting my two pieces of FanFiction finished. I promise that I will finish everything and I know how the plot for this story is suppose to go and how this will all end. It just might take me awhile to get there, and I apologize in advanced. I hope that I'll have Chapter 6 posted before Thanksgiving so keep an eye out. -Shirley