Morning guys, another chapter before I do a ten hour shift. All I will say is I'm sorry Armin. Hope you enjoy :)
When Armin gets home it's nearly one in the morning and he feels a sinking in his stomach when he sees the light on in the kitchen, indicating that Reiner is both home and still awake. That means I have to tell him... He doesn't want to have this conversation, he really doesn't want to have this conversation but he has to. He will need to give Erwin an answer eventually and he is going to have to have one convincing enough that it will get him off his back for a while. Still doesn't mean he wants to talk about it because talking about it feels a hell of a lot like entertaining the notion as a valid option.
He takes a deep breath as he pulls his keys out of his pocket and, with trembling fingers, unlocks the door. Just do it, just get it over with quickly... He locks the door behind him and, bracing his hand against the wall, begins to unlace his boots.
"I'm home," he calls softly, almost praying that he's wrong and that Reiner is already asleep, he just forgot to turn the kitchen light off.
No dice.
Reiner steps out into the hallway and leans against the door frame. "Welcome home," he says. "Good shift?"
"Same old really," Armin shrugs as he kicks off his boots and drops his bag. Ease into it, can't blurt it out first thing. "How was yours?"
"Tiring," Reiner replies, "but I got paid today so I don't care that much."
"That's good," Armin smiles.
"Have you had another chance to talk to Smith about an advance?" Reiner asks.
Armin deflates. "Y... yeah I need to talk to you about that." So much for easing into it...
"That sounds ominous," Reiner says, "everything alright?" He closes the distance between the two of them and Armin suddenly feels very claustrophobic. He's too close. I need him to not be so I can think straight...
"Erwin called me into his office this evening..."
"Yeah?" Reiner presses as Armin tails off.
"There's a few changes he's going to be making to the club and he wants me to go along with them."
"Yeah?"
Deep breath. "He wants me to start having sex with the customers as well."
Silence.
Armin had expected Reiner to at least say something, not just stare at him with the most unreadable expression on his face. What is he thinking? Why is he just staring at me like that? The silence stretches on for too long and Armin can feel tears pricking the corners of his eyes. He can't take much more of this.
"Say something, please," he says, voice cracking.
"It's not a terrible idea,"" Reiner finally says.
"What?"
"I mean we really need the money and it's just sex right?"
"What?!" Armin is struggling not to succumb to the tears that are already threatening to spill. He can't be serious?
"You will get paid more right?" Reiner asks.
"Well Erwin says I will but I don't know how much I trust him to keep his word on that," Armin says.
"As long as it's more than you're getting now then it's okay, right?" Reiner shrugs.
Why is he being so flippant about this? The urge to cry is suddenly gone and replaced with anger. Armin glares up at Reiner.
"You can't be serious," he says. "You can't actually be telling me that you'd be happy with me having sex with other people."
"It's just sex though," Reiner shrugs again.
"Oh my god!" Armin shakes his head in disbelief and brushes past Reiner to head towards the kitchen. I can't be around him right now... Reiner doesn't give him the chance to get some much needed space and follows him.
"What's the problem?" he asks.
"I should think it should be obvious!" Armin hisses, rounding on him.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't want to do this!" Armin cries. "I don't want to start having sex with people for money. That was never an option!"
"But think of the money thought," Reiner says. "We wouldn't have to struggle for a while. We could have rent when we need it and we could save up so you wouldn't have to do it after a few months."
When he puts it like that it doesn't sound like such a terrible idea... but it's still the one thing Armin never wanted to do.
"It would only be for a month or two at most," Reiner says. "I can pick up as many shifts as possible and we just continue living tight so we can save. It doesn't have to be forever."
"I guess that could work," Armin sighs, his resolve already beginning to break, "but are you sure you'd be okay with it because I don't think I would be."
"You thought that about the stripping at first," Reiner point out.
"I suppose so..." He wasn't wrong. Armin had had reservations about taking his clothes off for money, rationalising that it wasn't sex so it wasn't too bad, but that isn't the point. There is no way of rationalising it away this time but, if Reiner was right and he only had to do it for a month or so in order for them to save, then maybe he could...
Reiner cups Armin's chin and tilts his head up so that he has to look at him. "I know it's shit right now but it won't be like this forever," he says.
Armin wants to believe him, he really does. "I just don't think I'm comfortable with the idea of sleeping with someone who isn't you," he says in a small voice. How did it suddenly turn like this? How did it turn so that he's actually considering this now?
Reiner presses a kiss to his forehead, after gently brushing his fringe aside. "I'll still be here," he says. "I'll be here to look after you when you get home. It won't be forever, I promise you."
Pressure on both sides has Armin's resolve cracking. Tiny hairline cracks that mean when he finally breaks he shatters like thousands of tiny shards of glass. He feels Reiner's big, strong arms wrap around him, pulling him close to his chest.
"I love you," he whispers and Armin shatters. Tears prick the corners of his eyes again but he swallows them down. Don't make me do this then!
"Well I guess if it is just sex..." he says after a deep, steadying breath. "And if it isn't going to be forever..."
Reiner pulls back, tilts Armin's head up again and presses a soft kiss to his lips. "Everything will be alright, I promise you."
Will it though? I mean I guess it could work but I'm still not sure. Armin worries his bottom lip as Reiner looks at him expectantly, waiting for an answer. He sighs.
"I'll go talk to Erwin tomorrow and tell him I'll do it," he says. He can't quite bring himself to look at Reiner. He feels dirty, tainted somehow, and he wants nothing more than to crawl inside himself and block it all out. He's already started to retreat into his own head when a tender hand brushes his hair behind his ear. Finally he looks up to see Reiner's lips mere inches from his. The hand moves to cup his cheek and Reiner runs his thumb over his bottom lip.
"As long as mine are the only lips you're kissing," he says before closing the distance between them and brushing his lips against Armin's, a subtle hint of a kiss.
Despite everything it's still a kiss that makes Armin's knees a little weak and he allows Reiner's hand to slip round the back of his neck, deepening it. He parts his lips as Reiner nips his bottom lip, allowing that tongue to completely dominate his. Does he want this? Does he really want to sleep with Reiner after all this? Reiner actually thinks it's a good idea for me to fuck other people for money... Jean wouldn't have wanted me to...
Armin pulls away suddenly, eyes wide. What? Where did that come from? He doesn't know if that is any way true of not but he should not be thinking of Jean at a time like this. He can feel himself trembling as he looks up at Reiner.
"Are you okay?" he asks, noticing the sudden change.
"I'm sorry," Armin says, "I just... I don't know if I can do this right now."
Reiner's arms wrap around Armin's tiny frame. "How about I make you feel better?"
"What?"
"I can make you feel amazing," Reiner says pressing a light kiss to just below Armin's ear, "if you let me."
He really doesn't feel up to it but Reiner's lips and the hand teasing under the hem of his t-shirt and hoodie are insistent. He could protest till he was blue in the face but he doubts Reiner would listen to him right now. Teeth lightly scrape against his neck and he does allow himself to melt a little. Maybe this will take my mind off things...
A hand slips under Armin's clothes before two fingers begin to tease the waistband of his tracksuit trousers. "Reiner!" he gasps, his breathy voice ghosting the shell of Reiner's ear while that hand slips into his trouser to palm his cock, coaxing him to semi-hard.
Breathy moans and whimpers leave Armin's lips as Reiner continues to palm him through his boxers. He's trying his best to stay in the moment and not think about the conversation they just had or the one he is undoubtedly going to have to have with Erwin tomorrow. Reiner's lingering kisses to his lips, neck and jaw are helping somewhat but not completely, he still feels a tiny bit sick to his stomach.
"So gorgeous," Reiner whispers before he pulls his hand out of Armin's trousers to make short work of his hoodie and t-shirt.
The hands are back on him as soon as he's out of his clothes and Reiner takes the opportunity too lavish attention on both Armin's nipples at the same time. A knee comes up to press against his semi-hard erection and the fractured pieces of Armin's resilience begin to crack even further.
"Reiner..." he pants placing his hands on Reiner's huge shoulders in a futile attempt to stop him. "Here?"
"The blinds are closed," Reiner says between kisses. "No one can see us."
"O... okay," Armin says quietly. He's not wrong, no one can see them but that's not what's really eating away at him. He lets his hands drop from Reiner's shoulders and watches as he strips his shirt off and tosses it to the floor with Armin's discarded clothes.
With both of their shirts off Reiner pulls Armin tightly against him, kissing him fiercely, and Armin has to admit that the skin on skin contact is very nice. Those hands slowly creep down to the top of Armin's tracksuit trousers and begin to push them down.
Armin's breath hitches but he doesn't try to stop him again. He lets his hands hang uselessly at his sides and Reiner doesn't seem to notice that he's not participating. He should start. If he's actually going to fuck other people for money he really needs to learn how to fake it. Trembling fingers begin to undo Reiner's belt and jeans. The faster I do this, the faster it's over...
Reiner takes a step back in order to remove his jeans and boxers before stripping Armin of the last of his clothes as well. It feels strange, doing this in the kitchen, and Armin wants to cover himself but Reiner links their fingers, pushing Armin against the wall. Lips find purchase on his neck and Reiner's hands go to grasp his backside, making Armin gasp.
"W... wait," he cries as those strong hands begin to pull his cheeks apart. He's not going to do this dry is he? "Do you have lube or anything on you or..."
Reiner smirks. He gives Armin's lips a quick kiss before he goes to his discarded jeans. He rummages in the back pocket before he pulls out a condom and a bottle of lube. "I bought them with me," Reiner says, "I've been thinking about fucking you against the wall for a while now, thought tonight would be the perfect opportunity if you're up for that."
"O... okay."
"Turn around then."
Armin does as he's told. He hears Reiner squirt lubricant onto his hand and braces his own against the wall, willing himself to relax, as the first finger slips into him. It does feel good – Reiner knows just how to make me weak – but whenever he gets too lost in the sensations ugly thoughts start creeping into his mind. This is what I'll have to get used to and knowing it's not going to be Reiner...
He barely notices as a second finger is added until Reiner gives them a hard thrust into his prostate and Armin cries out. It does feel good, he keeps telling himself. It does feel good I swear... Reiner's fingers pull out and Armin hears the condom wrapper tearing open, then the sound of latex against skin and more lubricant. He turns to see Reiner stroking himself, covering himself in the lubricant. Once he's done he cups the back of Armin's head and pulls him into another kiss. He grabs Armin's backside and picks him up. Armin's legs immediately wrap around his waist.
"Oh god Reiner," Armin moans softly as Reiner sheaths himself inside him. He's pressed right up against the door, his arms wrapping around Reiner's neck as he begins to thrust up into him after a few seconds.
"Fuck Armin," Reiner hisses, "you feel so good."
Light moans and whimpers begin to increase in volume as Reiner slams into Armin's prostate. They haven't tried this before and the new angle would feel fantastic if Armin's thoughts weren't so preoccupied. It's still good but there's a barrier between them and Armin's the only one that notices.
"You close?" Reiner asks between stilted breaths.
"Yeah," Armin lies. He just needs a little more... He tightens his grip on Reiner's shoulder with one arm while his other hand goes to pump his own cock. That's enough to push him over the edge, especially as Reiner stills inside him and cums. Armin cums a few pumps later, covering his chest in white. Both of them are panting, desperate for breath, as Reiner pulls out and sets Armin down on the floor. He presses a hot kiss to Armin's lips before gathering his clothes. He hasn't noticed how watery Armin's eyes are or how unresponsive he was when they fucked and Armin kind of hates him for it.