Author's Note: Hi! So, here's Chapter 9 as promised. I'm not entirely happy with this one. But, I wanted to get this out and it's about as done as it's going to get, lol. I hope you guys like it. ^^
Disclaimer: I still do not own Merlin, sadly.
Chapter 9
"Why did you do that?!" Mordred demands sharply as soon as the guard is gone and they are officially locked away in the cell.
Emrys slides Mordred an adorably confused look, quirking his head to the side, "I couldn't stand aside and do nothing. I said that already."
"You've done it before!" Mordred snaps harshly, ignoring how Emrys flinches at the accusation. "Staying at Arthur's side is more important than any one life. Including mine!"
"No."
Mordred's eyes widen at the firmness of Emrys' tone, gapping at his lover. Emrys stands up straighter and focuses on Mordred with steely blue eyes, "I spent too long choosing Arthur over everyone else. I can't and I won't allow someone else to pay for my silence again, Mordred."
The raw determination in Emrys' voice and the strength radiating from him is breathtaking. Conviction looks good on Emrys and Mordred swallows heavily at the way Emrys' confidence makes him feel. A faint sigh escapes Mordred and his outrage dims mostly in the face of Emrys' conviction, "If you die-"
"Then I die." Emrys interrupts, eyes flashing with a complicated mix of emotions. "At least I will be able to say that I stood by the side of the man I love."
The world stops for a moment as Mordred's breathe catches in his throat. He never expected in a million years that Emrys would ever say something like that so easily. Considering how long Emrys held on to his wariness and how often he's been burned before, Mordred thought that there was a possibility that Emrys would never admit to his feelings.
Shock passes across Emrys' face as he realizes what he just admitted, but surprisingly, Emrys just lifts his head stubbornly and stares back at Mordred with confidence. No stuttering, no take backs. Just warm fondness and confidence radiates from Emrys.
Shaking off his surprise, Mordred steps up and curls his hand around the back of Emrys' neck. Using the leverage to pull the taller man down into a biting and desperate kiss. Mordred curls his free arm around Emrys' waist, pulling the thinner man in until there is no space between them left.
What feels like years later, they separate for air. Mordred pants softly as he leans in to rest his forehead gently against Emrys'. "I love you too." Mordred whispers in Emrys' mind, both of them shuddering faintly at the intimacy of the moment.
An uncertain future may await them out there, but in this moment, there is nothing but love and an overwhelming sense of relief. They don't have to be afraid anymore.
/BREAK/BREAK/BREAK/
Arthur slams his way into his quarters, breathing heavy and uneasy as panicked thoughts swirl around his mind. Merlin?! Magic?! How long!? All these troubling thoughts plague him as he paces his rooms. For all that Arthur is stunned by the revelation, he's also strangely unsurprised. Merlin having magic is the answer to all of Arthur's lingering questions. It's why Merlin does the things he does, why he knows so much, and why anything that has to do with magic always ends up leading right back to Merlin.
It's because Merlin is magic. To think that someone had been hiding their magic under the court's nose for all these years and no one ever noticed. And lord, the loneliness. How lonely has Merlin felt all these years? Arthur knows how Morgana's loneliness and fear twisted and destroyed the caring woman he had known before. And she had only known about her magic for a year at the most. If Merlin has been doing magic since the beginning, then that means he's been hiding for nearly ten years now!
Arthur wonders how it's possible that his friend is still generally his friend. Oh, Arthur can readily, and perhaps guiltily admit, that Merlin has not been the same happy-go-lucky young man that Arthur first met for a while now. But, at least he hasn't become a twisted shell of a human being like Morgana has become. No, he's just bitter and tired. And you've done that to him.
Legs giving out from beneath him, Arthur drops on to the foot of his bed and places his head in his hands as he tries desperately to breathe through his emotions. He thought Merlin couldn't shock him any more after admitting he poisoned Morgana. Arthur had no clue how wrong he was.
"Arthur?"
Arthur lifts his head from his hands and looks up at the face of his very concerned wife. Guinevere looks as if she's been calling Arthur's name for a few minutes now and is clearly troubled by Arthur's mental state. "How could I not have known?"
That's the question that has been burning in Arthur's mind ever since he saw that damn blue orb floating in the palm of his best friend's hand. How is it that he could have missed years and years of magic use? Is he truly such a terrible friend that he never saw when his best friend was doing behind his back all these years?
Arthur mentally argues that it's not like Merlin didn't try very hard to hide his magic. Always sidestepping questions and giving stupid answers. Like the tavern! Lord, the tavern. What a silly and stupid excuse and yet Arthur bought it each and every time that Merlin employed that ridiculous line. Hell, even when Merlin denied being at the tavern, Arthur just assumed he was lying about that! How many times did Arthur attribute the tavern to times when Merlin was actually off doing something magical instead? How much of his friend's life has he truly missed?
"Arthur," Gwen interrupts Arthur's swirling thoughts gently, "You couldn't have known. He hid this from everyone, not just you. Can you even imagine what keeping a secret like this would be like? To fear every minute of every day of your life?" Gwen bites her lower lip as her eyes well up sympathetically, "Oh, Arthur, he must have been so scared."
And hadn't Arthur made that same observation only a day ago? Except then Arthur had thought it had been fear for Mordred that had Merlin so emotional. But now that Arthur had this new piece of the puzzle, he could see the fear wasn't just for Mordred. It was a bone deep fear that must have been festering for years and years. If Arthur was right and Merlin has been practicing for ten years at least, then that's ten years that Merlin has let this secret fester and consume him.
Arthur's not sure he could have done that himself, keep a secret like that. How many times has Merlin been nearly caught? How many times did Merlin think it would be his turn on the pyre? The mere thought of Merlin burning at the stake makes Arthur's sick to his stomach. He could never see his friend burn. Ever.
But, still… Magic was illegal for reason… Wasn't it? Arthur isn't sure anymore. The stories his knights have told him. What his own queen said about magic. Is it truly right to keep magic illegal when magic can do so much good too? Was his father wrong all these years about the evils of magic, or are his knights the ones who are wrong? Have they been tricked into seeing magic as something safe when really it's all just a slippery slope?
Arthur doesn't know, and his heart and mind are too torn between what he's been taught his entire life and the fact that there is not an evil bone in his best friend's body. How could magic be evil if Merlin is magic?
"Gwen," Arthur chokes out, his voice raw with emotion, "I don't what to do."
He puts his head back in his hands and tries to force himself to breath as the implications of everything the past few days has shown him washes over him. Arthur can feel the bed dip beside him as Gwen takes a seat next to him on the bed. A light, warm hand settles on his back and Arthur leans into the comforting presence of his wife. And breathes.
/BREAK/BREAK/BREAK/
Merlin and Mordred have been seated on the dungeon floor, pressed shoulder to shoulder and dozing occasionally as they wait for the hours to pass. The sun makes its trip across the sky and daylight turns to moonlight as hours pass. By the time the sun has risen again, Merlin's mouth is parched and his stomach rumbles hungrily. Neither he nor Mordred had been brought any food since the trial, and that was an entire day ago.
Perhaps he'll just starve us to death. Then he won't have to make a decision. Merlin thinks a touch bitterly to himself. Maybe that was a bit unfair of Merlin to think, but hunger would make anyone a bit irrational. Strangely, Merlin thought he'd be more afraid now that his secret has been revealed. But he only feels numb, and an odd sense of relief.
It's done, his secret has been revealed and there is nothing left to do except sit and wait for the verdict to be given. Maybe they'll die today, or maybe he and Mordred will be exiled. Banished to another kingdom, and forced to make a new lives for themselves. One way or another, Merlin knows he'll still be by Mordred's side and that's enough for him. I can't lose another person I loved. I just can't.
Sure, it will hurt when Arthur banishes him, or worst case scenario, Arthur orders his execution. Arthur is the brother Merlin never thought he'd want, and it would hurt to lose that friendship. But, Merlin knows it would have hurt so much worse if he had stood aside and let Mordred be sentenced without him. Losing Arthur would hurt, but losing Mordred would have destroyed Merlin.
"It's time, Merlin."
Merlin blinks blearily and looks over to the cell bars, a bit startled to see Gwaine and Leon standing there. He hadn't even heard the knights arrive. Still, if Gwaine says it's time, then it's time. This has been the moment that Merlin has been waiting for all his life really. Ever since his magic manifested, he's waited his whole life for the other shoe to drop. Now it finally has. And now the time has come for fate's path to be chosen. No matter whether destiny is ready or not.
Author's Note: So, I know I promised both chapter 9 and 10 by the end of the week. Unfortunately, I got a bit caught up and I haven't had a whole lot of time to work so Chapter 10 is still unfinished. Regretfully, I'm going to have to partially break my promise, but I'd rather be a little late and publish a good chapter for you guys then to try and rush it for tonight. Since you all deserve the best ending I can write. So, sorry, but Chapter 10 won't be up until tomorrow. Sorry again. -hugs- And I really hope you guys liked this chapter.