Peeta and Gale are already there when Johanna and I arrive. Delly and Effie were there an hour early. When I step through the door, I feel Peeta's eyes all over me. I feel my face flush, and when I look up I can't seem to take my eyes of him either. He's wearing a suit the color of sand that cuts in all the right places. My eyes trail down his broad shoulders and linger. I can feel an electricity between us. He steps up to me and whispers in my ear, "You look stunning." I just nod. I want to wrap his tie around my fist and pull his mouth into mine, but I try to push the thought away. Try.
The house smells amazing. I see pots and pans keeping warm on the stove and give Haymitch a quizzical look. When Sae comes around the corner and begins stirring one of the pots, it all comes together. I take in the rest of the house. It's cleaner than I've seen it since Hazelle. There is a blanket hanging over the entry to the dining room so we can't see inside. When Sae announces dinner is ready, we all start making our way there when Haymitch shouts, "WAIT!" We all turn back to look at him, but he only has eyes for Effie.
"I'm not good at words. I never have been, but here goes. Effie Trinket, you make me wild. With anger, with passion, with frustration. I am infatuated by you. But most of all, I'm wildly in love with you." I see Effie beaming out of the corner of my eye, tears glistening. "I know 12 is a simple place. I know I'm a simple man, but I feel like this box is a home whenever you are here. So… this is for you." Haymitch pulls the blanket from the door.
His dining room has been transformed. It is elegant, and extravagant, but tasteful all the same. The walls are covered with a shimmering pearl wall paper. A crystal chandelier hangs from the ceiling and refracts a burst of colors onto the walls. Underneath is a grand table of mahogany, with swirling, scrolled legs. The chairs have cushions of satin. There is china glistening on the table, and an extraordinary cabinet to house it that's lit from the inside. A carpet stretches below the table, with vibrant blues and greens. We are all stunned into silence by its beauty. It's not overdone, but it's by no means simple. The room is refined. Fit for a lady.
Effie is hiccuping sobs back as she takes in each detail. She pulls her fingers across the table. She inspects the filigree that dances its way across each piece of silver. She holds a crystal flute in her hands. This means more from Haymitch than anything ever could. He boarded himself up in this house for years. He was isolated, and he pushed away anyone who tried to let themselves in. He's giving himself to her.
"Did you do this all yourself?" Effie manages to get out through tearful eyes and a gleaming smile.
"Well, Octavia helped with the design a little, but I spent the time you were gone putting it all together," he says.
I haven't seen them kiss since the hospital, but Effie crosses the room and places a soft kiss gently against his lips. "You never cease to surprise me, Mr. Abernathy."
"Well, the kids made me remember that life is short. And I want you in mine." I can tell he's uncomfortable with these public declarations, but he's doing it for Effie. They kiss again, and Haymitch clears his throat. "Let's eat!"
Sae has really outdone herself. She's made chicken in a rich orange marmalade, carrots dressed with ginger and lime, chard braised with bacon, and a salad with apricot and candied pecans on a bed of spinach. We beg her to stay with us, but she excuses herself and ducks out. Effie is beaming all through dinner. We laugh and eat. I feel alive. I smile and Peeta and he smirks back at me. Under the table, I place my hand on his thigh. His eyes flash for only a second, and then he continues his dinner discourse like nothing is happening. I slowly slide my hand up, and he's asking Gale to pass the carrots. I can feel the heat emanating from his body. He's excited, and I'm not stopping.
Effie clinks her crystal glass with her fork, drawing everyone's attention. She makes a speech, which I'm sure is lovely, but with everyone's eyes glued on her I slip my hand up. He is hard under his pants as I slowly slide my fingers up and down. I feel his body stiffen, his breathing become ragged. Everyone raises their glasses and drinks a toast. Peeta smiles to no one in particular.
The night wraps up and everyone makes their way home. Gale and Johanna leave first, followed by Delly. Peeta and I smile and hug Effie. Peeta shakes Haymitch's hand. The joy in this house is infectious. I feel elated. I'm dizzy with it. Peeta and I cross the yard to our home. I fumble with the door knob, and the moment our bodies are through Peeta pushes me into the closed door. His mouth is on mine. His hands are everywhere. I reciprocate, pushing my hands through his hair and sucking on his ear lobe with my lips. It drives him crazy and he pushes me into the door harder still. I can't keep my hands off him. I reach behind him, pull his hips into me. We both groan as we connect. I want more of this feeling.
He takes my hands in his and presses them above my head. I'm pinned to the door, and he is trailing kisses across my neck and down my chest. They are sloppy and wet and passionate and are setting me on fire. He pushes into me again and I can feel how excited he is. There is heat radiating from between my legs, and I'm certain he can tell I'm right there with him. Peeta pulls the strap of my dress from my shoulder and runs his mouth along where it used to be. He sweeps his arms under my legs and lifts me. I wrap my legs around his waist and we can't stop kissing. He carries me into the living room and up the stairs. Peeta kicks my bedroom door open and deposits me on the bed.
I prop myself up on my knees so my eyes are chest-level while he stands in front of me. I think he's panicked a little, seeing where this is taking us. I grab his tie and pull him toward me. "Are you coming?" I ask. He leans down and kisses me, slower this time. Methodically, like he's trying to memorize me with his lips.
"I've just… I've thought about this for a long time." His eyes meet mine. I know what he's hoping I'll say, but I can't do that right now.
Instead, I place a hand on the side of his face. I kiss his chin. His cheek. His forehead. I pull myself up and whisper into his ear, "Me too."
That seems to be enough for him right now. He runs his hands through my hair until he's holding the back of my head. We collapse on the bed together. The pressure of his body pressed against mine makes the synapses in my brain spark. I push one of my legs up between his and he moans into me. His hands linger just below my breasts, and I see Peeta bite his lip. He starts placing kisses on my collarbone, and he slowly drifts down until he's at the edge of my dress. He kisses the skin along the seam until I'm arching my back into him. I prop myself up beneath him and unzip the back of my dress, letting it fall open. Peeta just sighs as he takes me in.
"Could I…?" I take his hand and cover my breast. I am on fire. He gently massages me and runs his thumb over my nipple. I moan and knot the sheets in my hands.
"This all needs to come off," I say, gesturing to his clothes, and I'm frantically unbuttoning his shirt. He unknots his tie and tosses his jacket off the bed. I get the last button open and his chest is bare. He leans down and kisses me, and the feeling of his skin on mine elevates everything I'm feeling. We've been chasing this for weeks, months, years even and I am delirious. He takes one of my nipples in his mouth and I gasp. I grab the pillow, the headboard, his hair. I'm clinging and desperate. I slowly glide my hand over his stomach, tracing a route downward that is both terrifying and exhilarating. This is new to me, to both of us. I feel so vulnerable and yet so empowered. This is going to be messy and terrifying and fun, and I can't image doing this with anyone but Peeta.
He's kissing my mouth again, dipping his tongue in and out with mine when I begin unbuckling his belt. His eyes open wide and lock on mine. This is really happening. This is really happening. I feel like the words are echoing between us, but my lips are humming and I feel alive. The look on his face is intoxicating - shock, excitement, anticipation, pleasure… When I finally wrestle his belt away, I unbutton his pants and slip my hand inside. He is hard and impossibly smooth. He lets out a groan and he buries his face in my neck. I have no idea what I'm doing, but I must be doing something right as starts shaking when I slowly stroke him, moving my hand up and down.
"Katniss," he breathes into me. His voice is raw and husky, and it sets my body humming. He kneads my breast gently, as I keep moving my hand. "Can I…. can this come off?" He gestures to my dress. I sit up and raise my arms over my head and he pulls it off of me. I'm exposed in just my panties, but it feels exciting and safe. He slides them down and over my ankles.
"Your turn," I say and we slide his pants off and throw them away from the bed. His skin is everywhere. We are tangled together, scars streaking our legs and stomachs and arms, and it's not painful. It's the story of us. How we got here. Every mark on my body is mirrored on his. The boy who will always be by my side. The boy with the bread. The boy who gave me hope.
"Peeta," I say, and my throat closes. My eyes fill with tears. I know what I've realized. I am hopelessly, utterly, madly, desperately in love with Peeta Mellark. He can see it all over me. I am trying to get the words out, but I'm choking on a happy sob. He knows, and our movements still.
"You love me. Real or not real?" he asks.
"Real," I breathe out, and I feel relief. I feel a weight lift from my chest. I feel free. "Real." I kiss his shoulder. "Real." I kiss his jaw. "Real." I kiss his mouth, and he moves with me. "Real." I shatter every wall I've built up between me and this boy. "Real."
Peeta sits up and pulls me into his arms. He's holding me impossibly tight, stroking my hair. He presses his cheek into mine, and whispers in my ear, "I'm staying with you. Always." I slide him into me and he clutches my body to his and groans into my neck. He slowly starts thrusting his hips and I mirror him. He reaches his hand down and starts caressing me where our bodies meet. Everything suddenly heightens. Our eyes are glued to one another as our bodies seem to know what to do. I press a kiss to his mouth and he's moaning into me. I'm panting and he accelerates everything… his hand, his hips… I'm pulling at his hair and I need his mouth on mine. He throws me back onto the bed. He holds his body over me and he's thrusting into mine. I'm slipping, I'm trying to hold on, but I'm losing control. He's almost there and I can feel it to. Suddenly Peeta groans and his body stiffens, I feel my back arch and everything inside me is exploding in waves.
Peeta collapses onto me, every inch of our fire mutt skin pressed together. Both of our bodies are shaking slightly, and we just cling to one another. I take his hand, like we did on the chariot. Like we did in the Arena. Like we've done a thousand times since. His hand belongs in mine.
"I love you," I whisper into his hair as I run my free hand along his back. His body relaxes into me.
"I love you, too," he says, only this time, I'm not afraid.