A/N:

Hey folks! I'd just like to say a quick thank you to everyone who reviewed. Shutouts to LydsLife, Gazza, BaconBabe77, Iamthebestwriter, cryinginagony annnnnd the other unnamed guest!

Since I have already written a considerable amount of this story I will be posting often for the next few weeks (A big shock for most of you who know me, I know). I will be more motivated to update sooner with reviews though ;)

Disclaimer (I forgot to do this before, oops): All MR characters and plots belong to JP (the great and almighty creator of the series).

Claimer: All the stuff that comes out of my brain through my fingers and onto your screen is mine and I take full credit for it (even if it's stupid, which is often the case).

Happy reading!

Chapter 1: Protocol Wedgie

Fort Hunter Ligget is a combat support training facility. It says that on the big sign out the front. What it doesn't say on the sign is that the whole place is BLAND.

Everything (and I mean literally everything) is green. Not a "living and thriving" green, though, more like a "dead, dying and sick" green. Someone probably thought that by painting every building the colour of grass camouflaged the base (and it probably works for someone who doesn't have genetically enhanced vision) but, frankly, from the air it just looks like a giant person had a wicked hangover after having one too many tequila shots the night before and uncontrollably vomited on every surface in sight.

I hate barf green almost as much as I hate the cold.

I landed heavily on the roof of the outer watch tower and tucked my wings away. A guy stuck his head out of the window typically used to speak with drivers of army vehicles entering the base camp and turned to look upwards at me.

"That was one hell of a bang." He said up to me with a distinctly southern accent.

I smirked down at him then crouched to be closer to his level. "Problem?" I asked.

"Well, usually people knock on the front door and not give me a gigantic heart attack by jumping on the roof. How'd you get up there anyway?"

I rolled my eyes but didn't respond. I jumped lightly down onto the concrete driveway and leaned against the window frame. "I'm here to see General Starfish- I mean, Starvish. I thought I'd be nice and let you guys know I was here before I walked in."

The guy frowned. He was every typical army cadet ever. His uniform was perfectly in place (you know, in case he needed to kiss the butt of someone important today) and his sandy hair was shaved close to his head. "Every person wishing to enter Fort Hunter Ligget is required to sign in here and–"

"And perform other bullshitty protocol nobody cares about." I blew a piece of hair out of my face. "Sorry, buddy but those sorts of rules don't usually apply to me. What's your name?"

The Private looked me up and down skeptically. "Shouldn't I really be asking you that–"

I cut him off neatly by raising my hand and introducing myself, "Staff Sargent Maximum Ride, returning from assignment." I pretended to tip an invisible hat at the soldier, "Pleasure to meet you."

The Private's eyes grew comically large and he quickly snapped to attention. "P-P-Private Luke Connell Ma'am. I've heard about you." His mouth flat-lined, "I apologize for my insubordination, Sargent!"

I threw my head back, "Argh. Please don't do that."

The Private, his hand still saluting me by his forehead, blinked stupidly. "What?"

"Please don't act a total ninny. Drop your hand and be a regular human being, Jesus." He did, looking confused. "Okay, great! Now, I'm going inside and you are going to stay here and continue doing what you've been doing. Cool?" I didn't wait for him to reply as I snapped my wings out and jumped vertically into flight. I looked down to see Private Connell gaping, open-mouthed out of the watchtower window. I laughed a little to myself.

As I approached the little grouping of buildings further inside the camp I noticed two people waving me down. I figured that Private Whatever-his-name-was had called ahead for me and that these people, shielding their faces from the blinding Californian sun as they gazed up at me, were my escorts. I glided lower and snapped in my wings when I was low enough to drop down to the earth safely.

The pair consisted a man and a woman both dressed similarly in field uniforms of camouflage print. However, while the women wore an impressed expression, the man's hard eyes glared ahead of him.

"Sargent Ride," The women greeted, saluting and smiling broadly. I tapped my head and flicked my fingers condescendingly in return. "I'm Sargent Major Brown and this," She indicated the stone-faced man beside her, "is Corporal Hamsmith. How was your journey?"

I crossed my arms, "Fine."

Sargent Brown's smile didn't falter, "Great! The General will see you soon. In the meantime, we figured you'd appreciate freshening up a little." She beckoned me with her outstretched arm to walk ahead of her towards one of the buildings. I did, arms still crossed.

Sargent Brown directed me to a shower house and handed me a bag I hadn't noticed she was carrying. She looked about to say something, but I pushed into one of the shower stalls and ended any possible conversation. Knowing that Starfish seeing me "soon" would most likely not be anytime soon, I took my sweet time showering and washing the grit out of my hair with some of the shampoo that was in the bag Brown had presented me with.

When I had toweled off I inspected the clothing they had given me. I pulled a face when I saw pantyhose. The regular uniform I was forced into was bad enough, but the mandatory service dress uniform was a thousand times worst. I tried not to scream when I saw that they had even included the small, black, heels which completed the outfit. I took a deep, controlled breath and forced myself to start putting on the black skirt and tucked in the white shirt. Someone had taken the liberty of embroidering my name and rank above the pocket. Wow, how goddamn considerate.

Once I had pantyhosed up, I stuffed my old gear back into the bag and slammed open the shower stall door, unimpressed at my new attire. Brown smiled even wider at me when I exited while Corporal Hamsmith inspected his shoes critically. "Lovely! Now, we'll just tie your hair back and you're all ready to meet with General Starvish!"

I raised my eyebrows, "I'm wearing a skirt for you people! No way are you yanking my hair into one of those disgusting buns." I said, gesturing to Brown's own hairstyle. Brown frowned and touched her bun self-consciously while the ever-silent Hamsmith scowled more deeply.

"I'm sur–" Brown started but I held up my hand.

"No way," I repeated vehemently.

Brown looked ready to argue but it was (very surprisingly) Hamsmith who replied gruffly, "Let's just take her to the General." With that, he turned on his heel, hands still clasped behind his back and walked away. I followed, not waiting for the still frozen Brown.

When we reached Starfish's office, Hamsmith knocked. Brown smiled, slightly tighter, at me and opened the door. As I passed her, she whispered to me to stand tall.

Pffft. Like I need advice on how to carry myself.

Hamsmith nodded at me as I crossed the threshold and shut the door behind me.

The General was situated in a high back chair facing the wall away from me, his back turned. It was silent. I waited for him to speak, arms crossed. When it was silent still more, I unfolded my arms and picked out the wedgie I was getting from my new undergarments.

Finally, the General said, "Welcome back, Maximum." He spun in his chair to face me. I took in his shocking red hair, streaked with gray and his stern expression. He stared at me silently for a second before saying, "I have your new mission."

I raised an eyebrow but stayed silent. Very, very deep down I was I disappointed. I had been hoping to have some time off to spy on my– the Flock.

They aren't yours anymore, Max, I reminded myself.

The general leaned forward so that his elbows rested on his desk with his hands clasped. The one thing that I've always like about Starvish is that he gets to the point. He took me in and then spoke, emphasizing each of his words, "Have you ever heard of a man called Nicholas Ride?"

A/N2:

REVIEW AND I WILL UPDATE! Please tell me your thoughts.

~El