"I'm not crying because of you; you're not worth it.
I'm crying because my delusion of who you were
was shattered by the truth of who you are."
-Steve Maraboli
-Ω-
Piper had snuck off that night to go buy more sanitary pads for herself. Considering the nearest store that sold them was two city blocks away, she'd been gone for quite a while at that point. It was a beautiful night. There were little stars you could see in the polluted sky of the big city, but the ones that were visible glittered like diamonds, competing with the brightness of the full moon in the navy sky. Jason was up despite the fact that it was curfew and his old body wasn't fit for being up late, and was very much absorbed in his book about Greek Mythology.
There was a tap at the window.
Jason didn't look up, since the tree that was planted outside had branches that occasionally brushed up against the window, and there were also plenty of pigeons who liked to perch on the sill and peck about. There was silence for about five minutes and the tapping came again. Jason seriously regretted closing the windows today, but the chill had been too taxing on his brittle bones and Piper had insisted that they remained closed. Still, he did not look up. Another five minutes passed. Jason was just beginning to settle back down when a hard knocking came at the window, knuckles rapping against glass, and Jason was scared half to death when he looked up to see a humanlike figure perched expertly on the windowsill. Two black, unidentifiable masses shifted behind them, and their face was cloaked in shadow.
Immediately he was high on alert, and he rose to his feet cautiously, his book lying on the bed, forgotten. There was a jiggling sound and suddenly the window flew open, despite the fact that it was locked from the inside. Blood roared in Jason's ears and he was afraid that his poor old heart would give out as the figure dropped gracefully onto the floor with a distinct rustle of feathers. He scrambled back, fumbling for any sort of weapon, but he and Piper had never had any use for one. The closest things to weapons in the nursing home were the knives, but those were all the way down in the kitchen.
Was it a rogue demon coming to avenge Lilith? They'd had a few issues with those during the beginning months. However, at that time Jason had been young, capable, and, most importantly, armed. There was nothing preventing this monster from snapping him like a toothpick, not when Jason had no chance of escape.
"Um…please, I don't want to cause trouble," Jason rasped, holding his wrinkled hands out in a gesture of what hopefully was peace as the figure rose to its feet. It was decidedly male, with broad shoulders and masculine stature, and it was humanoid. All signs pointing to demon. "Listen, I'm really old. What I did to Lilith was ages ago, and it wasn't even me that killed her. No correlation whatsoever. That was the Watchers. Now, you'll just go on your merry way I'll just stay here and do my own thing, got it?"
"You'll do nothing of the sort, Jason Grace," said a familiar voice, and Jason inhaled sharply as he assigned a face to it. The figure slowly spread the two shifting masses behind him, which turned out to be two huge, ebony wings that gleamed in the soft light from his bedside lamp. Jason felt tears pricking his eyes as the angel removed the hood to reveal a shock of black hair and bright, sea green eyes, which widened when he finally got a good look at the human.
"You haven't aged a day," Jason croaked, smiling. Perseus, however, seemed a bit shell-shocked. He crossed the room in two long strides and touched the human's hand gingerly, as if testing to make sure it wasn't a mirage of some sort, but when he felt the wrinkled skin and the frail bones he knew it wasn't a trick of the eyes. Jason chuffed a bit, "It's ok to say it: I'm an old fart." This, however, did not make the angel laugh, and the room lapsed into an awkward silence. Perseus ruffled his wings, causing black fuzz to twirl to the ground, and Jason couldn't help but gape. Even after sixty-eight years they didn't fail to dazzle him. That's when a bloody tear made its way down the side of Percy's face, but he quickly wiped it away, though he didn't give Jason any time to ask questions.
"This is urgent, Jason," Perseus held out the scroll to Jason, who took it from the angel's hands as if it were a bomb that would explode if handled too roughly. The parchment crackled at his touch and he untied the ribbon slowly, allowing it to flutter to the ground. Amongst the ecstasy that was overwhelming Jason's emotions, there was a twinge of disappointment; Perseus had not descended down to Earth just to visit an old friend, he'd done it because he had to deliver a message, which was his job. Then the realization of the fact that Archangel Michael was Perseus's boss, as well as the fact that the messenger angel delivered messages from him, hit Jason like a wave. He was holding a letter from an Archangel. An actual Archangel.
Slowly, Jason unfurled the scroll from its rolled-up form and gazed down at the words that could just have easily been a worshipped and sacred item like the Holy Grail or the Ark of the Covenant:
Jason Grace,
It is my honor to be writing this to you, however we must skip the nonsense and get to the problem. The Archangels have disappeared without a trace; one moment they were directing all of Heaven's activities and the next they were gone. However, not only Heaven is in need of your help; the death angels cannot keep up with all of the deaths that are occurring on Earth due to the fact that their leader, Azrael, is an Archangel as well. If we cannot locate him people who are supposed to be dead will keep on living, and that is not the natural order. I can barely keep all of the garrisons together and angels are panicking, turmoil building to the point where there is a very high possibility that we may have a revolt on our hands.
Even the Cherubim are completely and utterly dumbfounded at this crisis, and we have interrogated and looked into the minds of every single angel, even the ones imprisoned in the second Heaven, and all are clean. Some had suspected Lilith, but it takes thousands upon thousands of years to crawl out of Tartarus, and therefore when your friend Nico trapped Lilith it was decided that she couldn't possibly be the culprit behind all this. We hope you help us, though you must gather the old crew due to the fact that, when your abilities are combined, you are unstoppable. Best Regards.
-M
"Is this from Michael?" Jason questioned, looking to the messenger angel for answers. His black-haired friend, however, shook his head.
"The Metatron," Perseus replied matter-of-factly, folding his arms over his chest. When he saw the human's confused expression, he explained, "The scribe of God. He runs the archives as well as listens to and documents His word."
"When you first said that I thought he was some sort of Transformer." Every attempt at humor was going horribly wrong for Jason, and Percy began to furiously wipe at his eyes, leaving red smears across his cheeks. "Percy something is obviously wrong."
"The Archangels have disappeared!" Percy scoffed, holding his thumb and forefinger over his tear ducts to stem the bleeding. "Of course there's something wrong!" The angel was being terribly snappish, and Jason was starting to become quite nervous. Sure, in sixty-eight years they must have changed and grown apart, but at least the Percy he'd known would have at least been respectful. Now he talked to Jason as if it was below him to do so, as if the human were inferior.
"No, I mean something's wrong with you," he retorted, starting to become quite agitated. He paced back and forth in his irritation, keeping a wary eye on Percy in his peripheral vision.
"There is nothing wrong with me, I am the peak of human perfection; I am an angel! There can't be anything wrong with me!" Perseus bellowed, his whole body trembling. Jason was shocked, and he immediately knew from the tone of the angel's voice that society in Heaven had thrust those views upon him as soon as he passed through the gates. Before he could object, Percy pushed on, "Listen, I am an angel of God and cannot afford to have feelings towards humans. We were friends, Jason, but that was then. Now I am a servant of Heaven once more, and you cannot expect me to still harbor friendship from all of those years ago. Now, please, there are bigger matters at hand."
Jason had had enough. "Get out!" he bellowed furiously, though tears touched his eyes. "Get out of my sight and don't bother me again!" His voice had cracked horribly, and Jason cursed himself for showing so much emotion. Perseus did not look guilty in the least. He simply stared at Jason expressionlessly.
"Jason, I wish for you to see reason-"
"I don't give a rat's ass about reason, chicken feathers! I've waited sixty-eight years for this moment and here is what I get; a heavenly douchebag who his apparently a 'peak of human perfection' that cannot be bothered with thinking about anyone but themselves!" Jason was hysterical now, pure anger and anguish pulsing through his veins. Despite its importance, he crumpled up the note and threw it, where it rolled and stopped right in front of the angel's sandal-clad feet.
"You should not have done that, Jason Grace," Perseus warned lightly, and with a flick of his wrist the note floated into the air and smoothed itself out so that it looked as good as new. Despite himself, he couldn't help but feel slight awe at the little trick, but as soon as he met Percy's impassive stare, his blood boiled.
"Kiss. My. Ass," the human seethed. "Go find someone else and get out of my sight."
"I don't appreciate your tone, Jason," the angel snarled coldly, for once showing the beginnings of irritation. "Nor do I understand why you expected us to be like old pals when I returned."
"Well do you know what I don't understand, feather face? Your indifference. How can you be so uncaring?" Jason's voice was quiet now, yet full of raw betrayal. "You're like some sort of machine! What happened to the guy who would crack a joke once in a while?"
"That was when I was a fallen angel. I was almost human. Now I am above such emotions that drive me towards sin. Do you see what is happening?" Perseus demanded scathingly, pointing to yet another sticky crimson tear that left a red track as it made its way down his cheek. "I am turning into a Watcher. I am the only angel who has ever sinned since I am the only one who has fallen and come back, and had they done the same they would be crying blood, too. But no. I am different. I have been shunned, ridiculed, and singled out due to my experience rather than welcomed as a brave soldier, who was so loyal he turned down free will and left everything for Heaven."
"Are you implying that this is my fault, Perseus?" Jason could not believe what he was hearing. When the angel did not reply the human threw his hands into the air.
"I wanted you to stay! I really did!"
"And have me go into the Eternal Healing Slumber?" Perseus snapped, balling his hands into fists, though he was careful to make sure the letter wasn't crumpled.
"What side are you on?" Jason challenged, his words so full of venom that had he not been arguing with an angel his opponent would have flinched.
"I am on the side of Heaven!" Perseus insisted, his full-blown fury so potent that the water glass Jason had placed on the end table shattered.
"So you're saying that if I was bleeding to death and the other angels told you to not save me even though it wasn't fate, would you listen?"
"One, that would never happen since angels always make sure that fate is never twisted or manipulated, and two, you're more likely to die of old age first before you bleed to death. But if you say so, the answer is of course! If you turn this offer down you are just as expendable as any other human in this corrupted world!"
"That's it, your visitation rights have been revoked. Get out of my room, get out of this city, get out of this country, heck, get out of this world, for Christ's sake!" When Percy didn't budge, Jason took the tray that normally held medications and threw it at Perseus. Before it could connect with his skin, the angel held up one hand and the tray stopped in midair, clattering loudly to the ground. He turned his back on the messenger, the betrayal fresh and opening raw wounds in his heart, and hopefully once he turned back around the sorry excuse for a friend would be gone.
He began to wipe away the tears that were streaming down his cheeks, the back of his wrinkled hand dampening and reeking of salt. His shoulders slumped and began to shudder with his suppressed sobs, because he didn't know whether the angel had left yet. The treachery was gut-wrenching, but he knew that he'd lived a long, happy life without Perseus for sixty-eight years. He had a beautiful, supportive wife and other trustworthy friends who would understand. He could easily shut down the part of his heart he kept reserved for his feathered friend-turned-foe.
Then again all that time you dedicated at least ten minutes every day to looking out the window and praying he would come back. Even when you were in New York, where Perseus would probably never find you, you still prayed for him to come home. Prayed for his return. Then you moved back, but it wasn't all because your friends and family were here, it was also because if he were to come looking for you this would be the first place he'd search, whispered a voice inside his head, who Jason immediately strangled and silenced. He could live without Perseus, and he was sure of it.
However after a long, drawn out period of silence footsteps from behind alerted the human that the angel had not left.
Perseus took a deep breath and began, "Listen, Jason-" However, what the messenger was going to say was lost as Jason cut him off.
"That's Mr. Grace, to you." the human told him quietly, all of his newfound hatred for the angel packed into five simple words. Jason had hoped to injure the angel's feelings, but he knew that he was probably just as poker-faced as ever, which only added more fuel to the fire.
"You are being quite ridiculous, Jason, we are on first name terms."
"No we are not, Perseus. Now I'm pretty sure that I gave very specific instructions, but I'll re-state them for you just in case you didn't get them through your thick, feather-stuffed head: Go away," Jason's voice was deadly, even for an old man's.
"Ja- Mr. Grace, please reconsider. If you say yes, we can work together again. As a team like the old days." Much to Jason's content there was a note of pleading in the angel's voice. The human slowly turned around, staring at him. The old man's eyes, which used to be as sunny as the sky, were now shards of ice, and just as sharp and cold.
"I would accept, but then again how can I trust a partner who would let strangers decide whether to let me bleed to death or not. You aren't the angel I once knew, and I am sorry. I'm going to go to the cafeteria to get breakfast, so goodbye, Perseus. It hasn't been a pleasure." And with that, Jason reached for the doorknob, hoping that if he put distance between them he'd fight the urge to run to Percy and beg him to come home, but that's when a hand gripped his shoulder, a strong hand that was not very kind.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Grace," Perseus spat out the words as if they were poison. "But I was given clear instructions: this is not a choice."
Another bloody tear trickled down his face.
-Ω-
"What have I done wrong?!" Perseus screamed at the sky to whoever was listening, shaking his fists. He had flown to an abandoned field somewhere in Kansas, and nobody was around to hear his anguished screams. He had plummeted towards the ground faster than he had ever done before, as fast as his trusty black wings could carry him.
He'd flown away from the shock and betrayal in Jason's eyes as he had plucked him from his room like a hawk swooping down to catch a rabbit, tearing him away from everything he'd known and loved. He'd flown away from Jason's gasping as he struggled to take in enough air whilst Perseus' powerful wings had lifted them higher and higher. He'd flown away from Jason's begging to let him see Piper one last time, the begging that he'd mercilessly ignored. He'd flown away from Jason's pleas for someone to save him as Perseus, with one hand gripping Jason's shoulder, plucked a feather from his wing and tossed it in front of him. He had flown away from the anguished cry that had been torn from Jason's throat as they passed the border between Heaven and Earth, as well as his strangled gasp when he realized that he no longer looked or felt like an eighty-seven-year-old. He'd flown away from Jason's final words as the awaiting angels grabbed him by the shoulders and dragged him into Metatron's palace, kicking and screaming:
"YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND!" he shrieked, gasping as the thin oxygen levels began to have an effect on him. "YOU'RE A MONSTER! I SHOULD HAVE LEFT YOU ON THE STREETS TO DIE! I SHOULD HAVE LET THAT HEROIN KILL YOU! I-" Then the shining, gold-trimmed arched doors had slammed shut behind him.
Perseus collapsed onto his knees, burying his face into his hands, and couldn't care less as the gritty earth dug into his knees painfully. He'd needed to do that to Jason. For Heaven. He'd been instructed to show no emotion, instructed by the scribe of God Himself, and because of that he couldn't dare to disobey. Besides, the Metatron was the next best thing to Archangels, right? Percy's thoughts sounded like he was trying to convince himself.
You were so excited to see him again, so excited to deliver that one little message. Now the next time you see him he will be trying to wrap his hands around your throat, Perseus thought bitterly as his salty tears turned into blood, staining his hands red.
"I'm sorry, Jason, I'm so sorry," his words bubbled into sobs, sobs that were full of so much regret that anyone passing by would have broken down into tears just by listening to him cry. "You gave me so much and this is what I gave you in return."
"Brother, why do you cry so?" A voice startled him and he whirled around, drawing his sword. However, he saw one of his new companions, an angel of nature named Frank, and lowered his sword. "Your anguish is clogging up every angel's inner telepathy, so I was sent to ask what the matter was." Frank and his lover, Hazel, the angel who had filled in the position as Michael's messenger in Perseus' absence, were the only two who seemed to have accepted the black-feathered angel's differences. Even Archangel Michael had been a bit hesitant around Perseus before he'd disappeared into thin air.
"It's nothing of importance," Perseus replied, melancholy laced through his voice as his blood-stained hands fell limply into his lap.
"Surely such pain can only be due to injury. Shall I fetch an angel of healing? Perhaps they can mend your…" he waved his hand in the direction of Perseus' hands, "problem."
"No thank you, brother. They have already tried and failed to heal me. You cannot heal a Watcher of its curse. That I know." Perseus' eyes fell to the ground as he remembered the brave and kind-hearted Will Solace. "With the Archangels gone it is basically like we are lost sheep, and though God is with us He only helps when He feels it is necessary, like a shepherd watching his flock run away."
"Perseus, you are teetering on the edge of blaspheming," Frank cautioned, his expression grave. "Perhaps you should come with me to clear your head."
"I wish to be left in peace, Frank, if you don't mind. I must do penance on my own." Perseus answered, letting out a defeated sigh.
"Very well, though I must inform you that you are trying very hard. Very hard, indeed. Just because your brothers and sisters don't realize that doesn't mean you aren't making a difference." And with that said, Frank began to morph and change until he had taken on the form of a golden eagle. "Goodbye, brother." And with that he launched into the air, with Hazel hot on his tail feathers. Perseus watched them go until their small forms had disappeared against the star-spangled night sky. He calmed himself down and then, like scissors cutting a string, severed his telepathic link with the other angels. It was only temporarily, but he didn't wish for them to send another one of his brothers and sisters down to check on him and suggest help.
And with a mighty breath he let out a shriek to no one, an anguished cry that ripped through the air and caused the branches and leaves of the plant life to shudder wildly. He buried his fingers into his scalp and screamed until he could scream no more, gauging deep lines into this flesh that quickly began to heal.
"Tell me what to do!" he shouted at the sky, at the God he was furious at for not guiding him. "Tell me what I did wrong!" While Jason had bellowed curses and profanities at him, the other angels had applauded him, telling him that despite the emotions that must have been roiling inside of him, he had made the right choice. In a much smaller voice, Percy whispered, "Tell me so I can fix it." There was, unsurprisingly, no reply.
The angel collapsed onto his side, wrapping his wings around himself in a somewhat comforting blanket, and wept for a long time. It didn't take long for his tears to turn into blood once more.
-Ω-
(A/N) Thank you for all your support! And just a note that all of these chapter titles are derived from Edgar Allan Poe's The Raven. They are in no particular order.
Disclaimer: I only own the plot!