I walked into school the next day with all eyes on me. I was wearing the same clothes I had tried on in the store and was just as uncomfortable. Everyone's eyes were also on me which was very unsettling and was an example of a time where I would need Craig but he was busy with someone else. It felt terrible. I couldn't tell if they were amazed or disgusted.

I finally made it (after what felt like an endless journey) to our gang's table and sat down next to where Bebe was already sitting.

"Looking good," she whispered a little too loudly. I blushed and hid my face behind my hair, not wanting to see everyone's reactions.

"Damnnnnn, Tweekers! I never noticed how good of an ass you've got. I'd tap that," Kenny stated. I looked up to see everyone staring at me. Apparently my new look was more drastic than I had thought.

"I second that. You look… well… hot! Damn, boy," Clyde jumped in as he looked me up and down. I didn't know someone's face could get so hot. I briefly looked over at Craig from the corner of my eye and saw him staring as well, dumbfounded. It seemed as if everyone dug my new style. Everyone except Maddie. She looked pissed that her boyfriend was practically drooling over someone else.

"Craig!" Maddie shouted in a high pitch that made Bebe and I flinch. We all turned to the couple to see Maddie giving Craig a death-stare.

"What? I can't even look at other people now?" Craig exclaimed angrily before storming off to what I would assume was the restrooms. I should have been glad that they were fighting, but I hated to see Craig upset like that. However, Bebe was beyond satisfied with our results. But we weren't done yet.

"Jesus, what the fuck is his problem?" Kenny perked up once again. We all shrugged besides Maddie. She was fuming. After a few moments, she decided to abandon the table, leaving the five of us.

"My new- uh- look I guess you could say has s-some interesting reactions, wouldn't you say?" I decided to speak up. Everyone nodded awkwardly after experiencing an uncomfortable argument between the star couple.

…

A few days after the argument incident and things have seemed to settle down between the two. They were back to sitting next to each other and holding hands and kissing. All the things I wanted to do with him. I continue to talk about wanting to be her but it's true! It's all I wish for.

I sat on my bed, leaning against the headboard and rocking my shaking body back and forth, listening to the pounding rain. It was 2:00AM and I was awaken by a panic attack not only a few minutes prior to now. I took my meds but I didn't know what else to do. They never seemed to work and (surprisingly), I haven't had a panic attack since Maddie and Craig got together. Now, I didn't know what to do. Do I just suffer and wait for it to pass? Do I call Craig like I used to and let him help me? I chose the latter.

I clicked speed-dial and held my phone to my ear as I listened to the rings. It only took two of them before he picked up. I felt bad for waking him up at this hour but it was all I could do.

"M'ello?" a groggy voice spoke from the other end of the line. This made me miss our late night talks.

"I'm really sorry for waking you up I'm sorry but I'm having a panic attack and don't know what to do. My meds don't work and I'm shaking and I need help," tears were now brimming my eyes and the image of my Christmas-light lit room became cloudy.

"Give me five minutes," was all I heard before the line went dead. However, I knew exactly what he meant. I sat there shaking and crying my eyes out. I felt like I was dying. Maybe I was dying. I couldn't tell the fucking difference. Everything felt so surreal and scary.

Five minutes later, my phone lit up.

Craig: Let me in.

I bolted from my bed, down the stairs, and to the front door. Quietly that is as to not wake my parents up. I felt bad enough for have waking up Craig.

I opened the door slowly since I knew it was known for creaking. There stood a very wet Craig at my doorstep at two in the morning. We locked eyes for a moment before he pulled me into a hug. I began to cry harder. I was afraid and I missed Craig. We rarely talked anymore since Maddie came into play. He rubbed my back as I buried my face into his wet jacket, soaking it more than it already was.

After a few minutes, I felt myself being lifted off the ground. It took me a moment before I realized Craig was picking me up bridal style. I began to blush but hoped it was hidden behind the darkness and my tears. He began to carry me up the stairs and back into my room. I was already beginning to calm down.

He set me down gently on my bed and got in with me. He pulled my comforter over us and pulled me close to him so my head was nestled in his jacket. It didn't even bother me that his clothes were soaked. All that mattered was that he was here with me. I finally calmed down enough to sleep. Right before I fell unconscious, I felt Craig press a kiss to my forehead. I fell asleep with a smile on my face for the first time in weeks.

…

The next morning, Craig had disappeared yet again. It wasn't much of a surprise at this point. I dreadfully got ready for school when I noticed a note on my desk.

Tweek,

Know that I still care. Maddie is overprotective. Don't let her know about how close we are. I don't think she'd like that. I still love you, Tweeky.

-Craig.

I knew he was sincere. The note was too cheesy for someone that serious to write, so I knew he had to be serious. However, I was still upset that he seemed to care and choose Maddie over me. Nonetheless, he still cared, and now I knew that.