A/N: Basing this on speculation that Killian is tricking the Darkness. And…I'm sorry. (angst ahoy and spoiler alert)
She holds many memories, the threads in her sails marking the passage of time, each splinter and crack a piece of his story, his life and more often, his loss. The identical grooves along her side are worn down, shiny and smooth from fingertips tracing their path, mournful remnants of the final journey of his first love and his brother before her. Jagged lines mar the helm, his failed attempt to erase lessons given to a childhood forever lost.
Centuries of pain, once lessoned by Emma's grace, surround him again as the table beneath his palm crumbles like paper, the ancient wood no match for the power coursing jagged through his veins.
"I want to hurt you like you hurt me."
He wants to scream, tear down the world for what he's done and rip away the devastation inflicted behind Emma's eyes at his viscous words. Words he knew he had to say, to make her believe, to let go and reclaim her rightful place. Only he knows the truth in them, who, or more precisely, what, the words were actually directed towards.
This Darkness, this monster living inside him, manipulating, calculating, doesn't know his plan, the endgame it cannot see coming. He gave in for a time back in Camelot, his insecurities finding voice in his rage, against her. And she bore it, accepted it, and accepted him as she laid her trust in his hands, given along with her love and a promise for the future. A future that will never come to bear…
While his memories are crystal clear, his actions are cloudy, questionable, disjointed and barely hinged, all moves played out with one explicit purpose. His destiny will finally be fulfilled.
He will destroy the Darkness. He will save Emma. He will die.
These three things he knows with clarity.
He can only hope that she will one day forgive him, forgive herself, and let herself love again.
For he will love her always, to the end of the world or time.