A.N.: Dear all, please note that the rating of the fic was upgraded to Explicit. There's a reason for that :3

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Chapter 4
We were in screaming color

24th of September, 2015
Park Axis Toyosu (Oikawa's apartment)

There had always been something about Oikawa's kisses. Some strange spell or hypnosis that, without fail, would make Iwaizumi's mind go blank. Make him forget the wrongs and the rights, make him throw all his reasonings and thoughts away, make him completely fall under that intense and unique spell that was Oikawa's taste. He believed it had been a teenager thing, blamed the hormones and their insane sexual drive, blamed their recklessness, blamed the immaturity of the whole situation they had gotten themselves into. It was simply easier to believe in that than on the fact that Oikawa's lips had the ability to make him lose his mind.

But he wasn't surprised when all rationality simply vanished with Oikawa locking their lips again. All that was twirling around in his head, simply gone. Washed away with the warmness of a kiss he had missed so dearly.

And from there to being pushed against Oikawa's apartment door, was just another whirl of voices and shapes that didn't really matter.

His overcoat was on the floor, his shoes were thrown somewhere and his suit jacket was about to follow. Oikawa's lips were latching on his neck as his hands sank under Oikawa's t-shirt feeling the warmth of the skin he remembered so damn well. Their bodies were flushed together and grinding. Iwaizumi rolled his hips in a harsh movement and his stomach jumped when he heard Oikawa moan on his neck. He took one of his hands to Oikawa's hair, pulling it and stealing another breathtaking kiss from him, before pushing away from the front door.

They stumbled on the two steps of the entryway before he felt Oikawa bit his lips while pulling him into the apartment. Iwaizumi gladly followed, making sure Oikawa's jacket disappeared from the setter's body. There was a door on his right that Oikawa pushed open before dragging him inside the dim room, never allowing their bodies to part.

They danced with stumbling steps as Oikawa turned them around before pushing Iwaizumi on the queen size bed and crawling on top of him. They stared into each other's eyes for a woeful second that felt like an eternity. The hurt, the pain, and the despair were clear in their irises, all the regret of those too long years apart was like dark paint on white canvas but none of them could deal with it at the moment. There were words unsaid and feelings being locked deep within their souls, but their warmth… oh, their warmth was so vivid and so nostalgic and-

"I missed you…" Oikawa muttered, his right thumb caressing Iwaizumi's bottom lip as tanned hands outlined his thighs over rough jeans. Oikawa's eyes were sparkling with something that Iwaizumi would say to be stardust. Eyes full of hopes and dreams, of emotions and want, of perseverance and dedication. Eyes full of that feeling that had been consuming Iwaizumi's for far too long, though he never dared to voice it. Eyes that hold his heart and all the smithereens of his soul. "I missed you so much…"

And I can not even start to describe what I felt without you, Iwaizumi wanted to say, but his voice was not flowing. He was lost at words and oh so full of emotions. He could smell Oikawa, and feel Oikawa's body on his, and Oikawa's hand caressing his neck while the other opened the buttons of his vest, he could see Oikawa, right there, almost like he had always been right there.

His stomach contracted and, for a second, Iwaizumi felt like he was about to lose his mind to the hurricane that was racing under his skin. He didn't want to think about it, he didn't want to feel anything other than Oikawa and all that was Oikawa. He wanted to shut his brain down and throw himself completely into the sweet oblivion of sex. And luckily, lust lashed through their bodies as their breaths met and mouths devoured the other's taste, all rational thoughts buried and lost for the night.

Lips were bitten and bruised and tongues licked at the other's mouth. Their hands were too busy ripping their clothes from their bodies and it was hot, so hot their breaths were like fire, burning the other's skin. There were condoms and lube on the mattress next to them within seconds and it didn't take long before Iwaizumi slid down on the silky sheets, drawing a path of languid kisses down Oikawa's abdomen, nipping at his defined hipbones while dragging the Calvin Klein underwear off Oikawa's hips and releasing the setter's leaking erection.

(He was certain he had seen Oikawa wearing those boxer briefs before. In an advertisement. On a giant billboard in the middle of Shinjuku. They definitely looked better live.)

Iwaizumi's mind cleared for a second and he hesitated, his lust filled eyes seeking Oikawa's in the dark, hands pressing harder on the pale skin of Oikawa's tights. The setter gasped and tilted his head down, looking at the man he was currently straddling. He crocked an eyebrow.

"National Team members are tested once a month. Plus, I'm a celebrity. If I had something, it would be on every newspaper and gossip magazine by now," he breathed slyly, smirking. Iwaizumi hummed before turning his eyes back to the throbbing member in front of him.

And he could have come with the deep and raw moan that etched its way from Oikawa's throat when Iwaizumi took him in his mouth. Oikawa's knees were straddling his head, torso leant forward, hands clenching the sheets and, god, but he is beautiful. So, so damn beautiful Iwaizumi couldn't stop looking at him.

His fingers were coated with lube and he felt dizzy, inebriated with the sound of Oikawa's voice, so heavy with pleasure, echoing in his mind. Oikawa's taste against his tongue only made his dazzled senses tingle and oh fuck, how much he needed that man.

Oikawa's hand pulled his hair as pleading hazel eyes met lusty green ones. He pulled his fingers out as he kissed Oikawa's navel, allowing the setter to lean back on his ankles, pulling Iwaizumi to a sitting position with him. A square package was ripped open before Oikawa was kissing him again, biting his lower lip, breathing him. He sank his hands on Oikawa's hair, forcing him to tilt his head as Iwaizumi kissed the exposed neck, leaving red marks of love and passion on the pale skin that tasted so familiar to him.

The condom was rolled down on his throbbing erection before he felt Oikawa shift slowly and then, there was just warmth tightening around him. His nails dig on Oikawa's scalp as his mouth fell agape, but no voice filled that moan. Oikawa's hands mimicked his and tangled themselves into short black hair as they stayed still, allowing their minds to clear slightly before the pressure of the moment could ruin it.

"Ah!" Oikawa's voice was guttural, failing before the intensity of hazel against green. Their darkened and dazzled eyes, staring deep into each other, daring to picture all the truths left unsaid and- "Hajime…"

Oikawa moved and Iwaizumi's body spasmed, mind blanking again, goosebumps all over his skin and a delicious shiver running down his spine. They kissed again and again, and they moved in tandem, feeling each other, devouring each other, needing each other. There were bites and open mouth kisses, scratches and bruised lips, there were moans and their names echoing in the air.

There were all the feelings of being connected with the other, of being with the other, of having the other. All those intense and maddening feelings that drove them into a frenzy of emotions by the end of senior year were back and more powerful than ever.

His broken cry against Oikawa's throat came with the white bliss of his orgasm, fingers digging into Oikawa's hips with enough strength to leave them marked there, teeth grasping the skin of the setter's Adam's apple, allowing him to feel the vibrations of Oikawa's own moan when he reached climax.

They fell on the sheets, sweat and exhaustion all over them, tangled limbs refusing to separate. They remained like that, waiting for their breaths to calm, heartbeats becoming quiet. Oikawa was the first to move, grabbing a discarded piece of clothing to clean his stomach, letting a little whine escape when he felt Iwaizumi sliding out of him. They sat on the bed slowly, no exchange of words or looks. And the air felt suddenly cold.

"Oik-" Iwaizumi started, but the weight of Oikawa's head on his shoulder made him stop. He felt Oikawa's arms sliding around his waist, hugging him from behind.

"Don't say it," Oikawa's voice was nothing more than a whisper and it still punched Iwaizumi hard on his stomach. "Just don't say it, please."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, biting his abused lower lip and letting Oikawa's body pulling him back to the sheets. He was doomed anyway, so he could at least pretend that all was good, and cuddle for sleep, even if it was just for the night.

xxx

His face was heavily pressed against Oikawa's chest, the loud heartbeats echoing in Iwaizumi's mind. Their legs were tangled, flushed skin pressed tightly together, arms over backs and torsos, and peaceful breathings. It was like a dream in which they had grown up together, lived together, enjoyed life together and that was just another normal morning in between them.

He would wake Oikawa up with a soft kiss and they would cuddle for a little while before Iwaizumi got up and head for the shower. Oikawa would follow him soon after and they would waste too long in there, but they would not really care for the time. They would dress and head for the kitchen, to make a quick breakfast together before their work schedules forced them to part for the day. They would kiss goodbye and mutter those words with soft and happy voices.

Yes… that would feel so good.

Iwaizumi let his mind sink around that illusion for longer than he probably should. He kept his eyes closed and that allowed his other senses to be overwhelmed with Oikawa's presence, touch, smell, warmth. It was an honestly peaceful and delightful dream. It felt so perfect… how could he just shatter it and return to reality? The cold reality in which they didn't grow up together, or lived together and that was not a normal morning in between them. The cold reality that they haven't spoke in years, held back by hurtful and sorrowful words, by pride and insecurity. So damn much insecurity!

How was he supposed to face that?

Forcing his eyes open, Iwaizumi stared at the digital clock on the bedside table displaying 9.04 AM. He was late for work. He sighed and turned his head slowly, leaning his chin over Oikawa's sternum and looking at the sleeping face he thought he would never see again. With his eyes, he traced Oikawa's rebel chestnut locks and smooth skin and still bruised lips, the almost imperceptible breathing forcing them to part. God, but he truly is beautiful, Iwaizumi thought as that humming feeling in his stomach returned along with all the memories from the night before and he was suddenly feeling hot.

A whirl of emotions bashed through his soul and he didn't want to deal with any of them. He felt dizzy again, confused, anxious, lost. There was too much to deal with and he had been avoiding all of it since the moment he had returned to consciousness and realized that all that had happened had not been a dream.

Cursing mentally, he finally let his mind wander to the questions he was so desperately trying to avoid until that moment. All the doubts and the uncertainty that rose the night before, all the things Oikawa said, the way he acted, despair so damn vivid in his eyes: fear of being rejected, fear of not being good enough, fear of nearly destroying his health for nothing. Iwaizumi wanted to believe that it was not that. That his stupid, rushed, immature and hurt words were not the reason why Oikawa pushed himself to the extremes to win the World Championship. That it was not some ridiculous form of need to be good enough, of being better, of making sure he wouldn't disappoint that stole his best friend from his life for twelve whole goddamn years.

A sharp stab on his chest made Iwaizumi snap his eyes shut and bit his lower lip. His head was heavy, his chest was hurting and his stomach was contracting so much, he wasn't sure he could eat anything for the next hours. Trembling, he put his hands on each side of Oikawa's shoulders and pushed up, slowly sliding away from Oikawa's arms and skin. It took him a little over a minute to be able to get off the bed without waking up the other man and a cold shiver joined the mesh of bad feelings taking over his body.

He was too emotionally unstable to be able to think clearly and the fact that Oikawa was just there, deeply asleep with a serene semblance and oblivious peace, was only making his line of thought more and more erratic.

I have to go.

Was the only coherent thought crossing his mind before he was collecting his discarded clothes from the night before and putting them on without paying much attention. He rushed to the bathroom, on the other side of the lean corridor, to water his mouth and wash his face. That would be enough until he arrived at his office. He left the bathroom and saw his overcoat and suit jacket on the floor, at the entrance, as well as his shoes messily thrown to a corner.

Sighing, he looked to Oikawa's room and his heart skipped a beat before the sight of Oikawa's so peaceful sleep. Iwaizumi bit his lip again and walked inside. He gazed at Oikawa for a long minute before leaning in his direction and brushing those rebel and fluffy locks away from the setter's face.

He wished for the world to stop on that moment, so he could be there forever. He wished he could just ignore all the rest and stay. He wished there were no other feelings in the middle and he wished there was nothing that could keep them apart. He wished Oikawa knew he had always been more than enough, he had always been perfect. He wished all that past had never happened.

And then he hated himself for wishing it.

Trembling and with a unpaced breath, Iwaizumi kissed Oikawa's forehead in a feather-like touch, allowing his bruised lips to linger on Oikawa's skin. He inhaled deeply, smelling Oikawa's hair and gathering enough strength to storm out of the room without looking back. He was like a flash, picking up his overcoat and jacket, shoving his shoes on his feet and leaving the apartment.

There was nothing in the world that he wanted more than to stay in Oikawa's bed, pretend those years never happened, pretend to be happy and good, pretend his job didn't exist and pretend that everything was ok.

"But I can't," he repeated to himself, like a mantra, as he was leaving the building and hailing a taxi, the weight of reality crushing all of him.

I can't!

To be continued

A.N.:

"We were in screaming color" - Out of the Woods, 1989 by Taylor Swift

Kids, no blowjobs without condoms unless you really know and trust the other person and they're tested and clean. STDs are a real thing and they kill people! Iwaizumi and Oikawa are fucking idiots! Don't be like them!

Angst is going to be around for a couple of chapters more, but I promise it will eventually come to an end. I promise it will end up well! I'm a sucker for happy endings, so nothing to worry about :3 Or so I say *O*

Favourites make me happy, reviews make my day *heart*

Say hi to me on twitter at ahakira_ or on tumblr: ahakira dot tumblr dot com

Cheers,
A.