Chapter 3. The human

A change of heart
I stopped in my tracks. Somehow it had felt better to run off instead of leaping into the sky. But suddenly it seemed impossible to take one more step away from Nighthawk, or some invisible link would snap.
I just stood there, feeling drained. Where had the vision gone, the beautiful vision we shared last year?* Nothing had prepared me for this abnormality, this utterly disturbing scene. How right he had been that this could tear our love apart.

Yet I stood rooted to the spot and could not bring myself to return to my children. Over and over the shocking scene repeated itself: the human mounting him, both of them jumping into the sky. He DID fly! Nothing he had said to me had been a lie. But he was tied, body and soul, to this human he called brother. There was no separating them. I could not have Nighthawk without that human. Or, why not? Couldn't he simply stay with me? I would hunt for two! No, I'm not thinking straight. If Nighthawk stays with me he wouldn't be able to fly. I cannot ask that of any dragon, it's like giving up life itself.

The wind sighed through the trees, caressing my hide. I looked around me: trees, moss, dangling flowers, a spider in its web. Slowly some sense of normality returned. Suddenly, almost unconsciously, I began moving off to the side, circling, while keeping downwind. With stealth I approached Nighthawk and the human from a different angle, moving like a shadow, like stalking prey.

There they stood: silently gazing in the direction where I had disappeared. Nighthawk quietly sat down, the human turned his head towards him. Nighthawk's head sunk ever lower. The human lowered himself to be level with him and stroked him with his little claw the way a dragon would do with the side of the head or with the tongue, clearly in an attempt to give comfort. They are close to each other, it clearly shows. The human took one of Nighthawks drooping earflaps and stroked it up. He moved around and lifted Nighthawks head in encouragement. It was then that I saw that the human also had an unnatural thing on him. The lower half of one hind leg was made of something strange. Cripples, both of them. Eventually they just leaned against one another, quite forlorn. There was no denying of the intimacy I witnessed between them. That human knows Nighthawk inside out. They have spent so many years together, he knows Nighthawk better than I do. The human had allowed him to fly again and the flight I had seen them perform had been quite good actually.

Seeing them together like that somehow captivated me, I just couldn't leave anymore. My head was in turmoil. What about the vow I made to myself last year: 'If I can do anything about it, you will never be alone anymore. I do not want you to ever feel lonely again.'
He is not alone: he has his human. But if that had been enough, why had he been so desperate to meet again? Why would he take all the effort to come to me from lands far away? His human brother must have agreed to the search because without him Nighthawk cannot fly. And didn't he say the human had younglings himself? So back home is a mate who has to do all of the hunting by herself. And still he agreed to fly his dragon brother? That has to count for something. Indeed, the more I thought about it, the more I realised what a tremendous effort both Nighthawk and the human had made. But... a human. It's so... such a disgrace. Yet, look at them, together. The way the human tries to comfort him, the way he shares in Nighthawk's grief.

I realized a decision must be made now. There was no time to fully think about this. I cannot go back to my children with my mind in turmoil and say nothing; they will sense something is wrong. It will either be no, and then I will come up with some story, or I face them having accepted Nighthawk's brother. Only then the children will be able to meet their father confidently. And if they are going to meet him, it has to be tomorrow. The yearlings will be all exited and I cannot let them wait.

I became aware of something echoing in my memory, a fragment of a conversation: *…I wonder about you, Silverwings. You are the most strong-willed female I have ever met. I wonder what life has in store for you… what life has in store for you…* Thundercloud's words.
This?
I searched my heart. Yes, I still love Nighthawk. I do believe in our special bond since we so lovingly mated last year and in the beautiful vision we shared. And I will be true to my vow.
Then I have to accept him. Him and his human brother. I somehow have to find a way to do this. If only I could be sure that this human does not control Nighthawk. How can I find out?
My heart knew, yet my brain needed time to adjust. With every passing heartbeat the path became clearer: I choose the path of love and will have faith. And I should not wait any longer, as Nighthawk looked heartbroken now.

Thank you, Thundercloud. Can you hear me? Thank you for your guidance. You gave me in abundance those gifts the Creator placed in you, bless your soul. I see my path before me now. I'm going to give the gifts placed in me to these two.

My love and his brother
They stirred, readying themselves to fly away. NOW Silverwings, be strong.
Quietly I stepped into the open and gave a soft call. Two heads jerked my way. The human quickly lowered himself to the ground, trying to give no offence. He can wait.
I took a few steps. "Nighthawk?"
He ran my way, the harness softly jingling "…You came back!"
"I…"
"You must be so upset. I am so sorry, so very-"
"Yes, I am very upset, but-"
"I didn't know how to make this easy for you, it must have been so-"
"Nighthawk, love, I accept", I said before he could finish.
He opened his mouth but could not bring out a word.
"I do, my love."
"You… do? YOU DO!"

I placed my head against his. We both stood there, trembling.
"Oh, Silverwings" he sighed "take all the time you need, you take it easy."
"I cannot take it easy, I…" I took a step back to look Nighthawk in the eye "…Nighthawk, I have to tell the yearlings their father is here."
He leapt up. "WHAT. YEARLINGS. Oh my love, is it true, really true? Do you… do…"
"WE have five. WE, Nighthawk. Three females and two males."
" YEARLINGS, Silverwings. Your… our children."
"Yes, darling, our children. Five little sweetlings."
"Oh, I don't know what to say. Thank you… it's marvellous… simply wonderful."

"Thank you for what?" I wondered.
"For not keeping them away from me. It must seem to you that you take such a risk. But I can be trusted, my brother can be trusted.
"Can he, Nighthawk, really?"
"Yes my darling. He is gentle and caring. He greatly cares about hatchlings and would do nothing to harm them. He cares about them as much as his own children. Really. Only... there is one thing that might be difficult for you."

"Please, no more difficulties", I groaned.
"The thing is, he will want to touch the yearlings. Hold them."
"What? Why? Can he not just look and nuzzle. And what is 'hold'?"
"That is putting his hands, the little claws on his forepaws, around them and lift them to rest against his chest."
I shuddered. "…putting his hands around them. That's terrible."
"Love, I have to explain. We dragons need to look and smell. A human needs to look and hold. They have a deep need to touch. Hands to a human are more than just forepaws. They examine with them, greet with them-"
"Kill with them."
"True. But my brother will not kill. He loves hatchlings, I have seen him hold hatchlings before. Just as he placed his hatchlings in my paws."
"How is this possible?"
"Oh, Silverwings, I have so much to tell you. But for now, will you believe that my brother is no threat to our children?"
"I have no choice than to believe you. I must accept him, for your sake, and greet him. But, Nighthawk, I WILL dominate him. He is on my territory and much too close to my nest."
"Love, I understand you feel the need to do that, but please be gentle with him. His body is not strong, you will learn where his strength lies, but it is not in his body. But allow me to be by his side. He still fears you."
"He should! But you go now and be at the side of… your brother."
"Brother. You said brother!"
"You go."

As I saw him walk over to the human I shuddered again. Even though I had decided to walk the path of love, it didn't make things any easier. I somehow had to placate my killer instincts. Picture him comforting Nighthawk, feeding him for I know not how long. Also another thing Thundercloud had said came to mind: 'If you love me, then at least appreciate a bit the things my mates have brought me. I am who I am because of them.' He had said this concerning his love-mates throughout the years, when I was so very jealous. It means Nighthawk also is who he is, because of his brother. If I love Nighthawk, I need to have at least some appreciation for the human. Keep that in mind, Silverwings, keep that in mind.

Meeting the human
When I reached the human, I pushed him over with astonishing ease. There was hardly any weight to him. Now he lay there with my claw over his throat. He had paled considerably, yet had not called on Nighthawk to defend him. It was between us. I gazed at him while conflicting emotions coursed through me. I had never been this close to a human. He was so small, so much thinner than the reindeer-humans I had seen that he looked more like small prey, and I had to make an effort not to close my talons and crush his neck. Yet he was not in terror, though I smelled fear. He just lay there submissively, his head turned to the side. I took his face in; it took a while before separate features pieced together in one face. His smell I recognized, it had been on Nighthawk last year, together with the tang of the harness before it quickly faded away.
Then the human turned his head to face me and looked me full in the eye. There was fear, but just beneath it, surfacing now... curiosity... appreciation... love? Love? What... My paw hastily left his throat.
"His strength is not in his body, Silverwings. He has loved you ever since he saw us together last year. That is why he has been so willing to help me search for you. That was not only because of me. He loves you too."
In astonishment I sank on my haunches. Last year. Of course, wherever Nighthawk is, his brother has to be near. Of course. So he knows me already? Incredible.

Yet I had to find out one last thing. Why had I pulled back my paw so quickly, after he looked at me. This is important. Can his eyes make me do things, control me? Nighthawk may be convinced that he does not, but he could be under his influence already.
So, while the human started to rise, I looked once more directly into his eyes. Letting the restraint on my aggression slip somewhat, I growled and gave him a threatening glare. Then I slowly pushed him back to the ground once more, showing my fangs, ignoring Nighthawk's gasp next to me. Menacingly, I neared the human's head.
"Silverwings!"
Ignore him.
Now there was terror in the human's eyes and I clearly saw he could do nothing to stop me. That was enough. Just as I sensed Nighthawk's head come near to push me away, I retreated, satisfied.

"I had to know for myself, Nighthawk. I had to make sure he has no hold over me. No human will ever have a hold over me! I do not apologize for my action" I declared. After another ragged breath from Nighthawk I continued "Now I believe you, everything you told me about him. I accept him as your brother."
"Oh" responded Nighthawk in a thin voice. Then, somewhat reproachfully "Could you not believe me on my word?"
"You could be under his influence" I shot back at him. "Put yourself in my place. I would not trust him with my life and that of the yearlings without being absolutely sure."
"I guess you are right, I must accept that."

Softening up, I asked "Can I do something to ease him?" The human hung against Nighthawk now, trembling. "I trust him now. I would like to greet him properly, but he has to recover."
Still somewhat reproachfully Nighthawk said "Maybe be as non-threatening as you can?"
I have to speed things up, I need to get back to my children.
Swallowing my pride, I stepped back a few paces and hung my head, softly crooning. When I looked up again, both Nighthawk and his brother were watching me. Then I gave a bow, seeing the human relax after that.
"Now, how do I greet him?" I asked.
"Uhm… we… he extends his arm and hand. And you nuzzle it."
"Can you make him?"
Nighthawk gave the human's arm a push, and then lifted it on his snout. He understood and the hand came my way. Without hesitation I put my nose against it. It was strangely soft and warm.
"I greet you, brother of Nighthawk." At that I blew a breath over the hand. I stepped back, looked him in the eye and said "My name is Silverwings."

His arm fell, then both hands rose and pressed to his chest. Where his heart is. Catching his breath, he addressed me "I greet you… Lady. My name is Hiccup, friend of Toothless."
To my amazement I understood bits of what he said, my ears perked up and my eyes flew wide open. I looked at Nighthawk questioningly.
"I will explain why you understand his speech later. Yes, the name of my brother is Hiccup, and Toothless is the name he gave me. Bit of a silly name, my retractable teeth you know, but I treasure it."
Of course, he never has been able to tell him his true name.
"I do not know the word he called you, but I liked the sound of it."

I noticed we stood together stiffly, tense.
A silly name, Nighthawk had said. Silly. We all had overcome so much; we sure could use something to brighten us up. I'll do something silly. I don't feel like it, but I'll just do it. Thundercloud, here I go! I took off yelling, ran in a circle, bumped into Nighthawk, nipped his ear and ran off again. That broke the spell and with a howl he chased me. Hearing the heavy thud of his paws behind me, I let myself being tackled. He cried out and instantly licked me all over.

Finally!

I giggled until something sharp pricked my hide. "Ah, that hurts." It was one of the things on him sticking out.
"No, don't have it removed, I must go. Tomorrow we will meet again. You will find me at the foot of the hills over there. If you come when the sun is at the highest point, I will call out so you can find me easily. Good?"
"Good. Hiccup is, uhm, at my disposal for the time being."
"Good. When you spot me, I want you to come fly in and land near to me. I will look for an open space so you can. That way our children can see their father land.

"Our children" Nighthawk sighed. He looked at Hiccup and beckoned him over. He came, not looking so fearful anymore. I nuzzled Nighthawk and gave Hiccup a slight nudge. Then I stepped away and looked up at the sky.
But when I glanced back at them over my shoulder for a moment, I saw… two grins. Two stupid, identical grins.
So that is where that weird grin comes from. Brothers, indeed.

oOoOoOoOoOo

The vision will be told in "Silverwings and Toothless -the prequel".