It was all a blur. Colours, sounds, and memories blurred together to create a mess. Her thoughts made no sense and her mind was flooded with a thick substance that made everything become sluggish.
All she knew was she had to get Dean. She had to protect Sammy and Deanie. It repeated itself in her mind, over and over again. Protect Sam and Dean. Protect Sam and Dean. Protect Sam and Dean.
Her little bare feet thumped down the hallway, the thumps were as fast as the thumps in her chest. She panted and her body felt weak, but she stayed up and continued running. She gripped her precious package tight with one arm and used the other to open the door and grab Dean from his room.
She somewhat noticed the shoes on the boy's feet weren't tied as she pulled on his arm but didn't think on it.
She felt the heat of the fire behind them; she could almost feel the flames lick the back of her bare legs. The house was creaking, groaning and cracking creating a tune with the roar of flames spreading through the house.
They were almost at the top of the stairs when Dean tripped on the undone laces. He fell onto the hard wooden floor making the panic rise even further in Mercy. His hands and knees were bleeding profusely from the impact, and Mercy knew he wouldn't be able to walk with his knees like that.
She rushed to her brother's side and saw the flames rushing towards them. Without even thinking she picked up her brother with her spare arm and ran down the stairs.
Her arms burned with the strain and her legs rapidly lost their strength with the added weight of the four year old. Her body couldn't cope with the stress she was forcing on it and the smoke she was allowing into her body was depriving her of precious oxygen.
Her steps became slower and her breaths ragged. She was so tired, she couldn't keep running. Her legs weren't listening anymore and her arms felt like they were about to rip off. She wanted to give up. She didn't have the ability to go on.
Just as she was about to fall to her knees, her mind allowed her to finally hear properly. It was crying, her two brothers were crying. Mercy felt useless and desperate. She was running out of options.
They weren't allowed to cry, she was supposed to make sure they're always happy. That's what her mummy and daddy always told her, she had to look after her brothers.
Everything around her froze in that second. She could no longer hear the cries of her brothers or the roaring of the flames. Even the heat froze in that single second.
She had to look after her brothers.
Her eyes hardened and her brow furrowed. She pushed her screaming body further and gripped her brothers tighter.
She had to look after her brothers and will do that even if it means her body falls apart.
She would protect them until her body no longer worked.
She would protect them because they were all she had left.
She would protect them because that was her reason for being on the earth.
She would protect the two things more precious to her than her own life.
In that frozen second, her brothers became the only reason she would ever need to live.
Everything came rushing back and cleared the young girls head. She could hear the flames, see the hell their house had become, smell everything they had ever owned burn to ashes and she could feel the two lives in her arms.
With her new determination, Mercy started running down the hall towards the front door. She couldn't feel her body screaming at her to stop and slow down. She didn't feel her joints creak at the pressure or her bones groan.
She pushed her body past its limits and ruined her developing body.
But she didn't care. The door was only a few more steps away. She was getting closer and closer to saving her brothers.
The feeling of relief of escaping the hell never came as the second she ran out the door she realised she couldn't stop. Not until they were far away from the house. She remembered what she learnt in class, it felt like it had been years since she had been taught it, her teacher had told the class that if there ever was a fire you need to get as far away as you can because houses had gas.
Fire plus gas equalled explosion.
She ran as fast as she could towards the fire truck on the road. She screamed for help hoping one of the firemen noticed her and could protect her brothers.
Luck was in her favour as one of the men urged her to come to him. She sped straight into the large man's arms and was enveloped in a hug.
It was uncomfortable and cold because of the man's clothes but to Mercy it was the best hug she had ever had. As the panic slowly dripped away she realised she was becoming dizzy.
She stepped away from the concerned fire fighter and gave him a long, hard and extremely tired stare. She handed her crying brothers over to the man and ordered him to,
"Look after my brothers. If anything hap-happens to them y-you will re-regret it." With that said she let the exhaustion drag her into oblivion. She dropped like a stone.
Mercy woke with a shock. It took a few moments to realise that she was lying on a white bed and there was a faint beep, beep, beep, in the background.
She felt a small body pressed against her side, she smiled when she saw Dean fast asleep. He looked so cute and innocent.
Her eyes darted to the door as her daddy walked through it with Sammy in his arms. She had an urge to take her littlest brother from her daddy and hold him herself. She felt her chest tighten as the urge got stronger and stronger.
Her daddy noticed straight away and placed the sleeping baby in her arms. She pulled the two boys close and let herself calm down. Sammy and Dean were safe.
As the last of the fear drained away Mercy began to feel the soreness in her body. It hurt like nothing she had ever felt before. Well, she was eight. She hadn't really lived long enough to feel all that much pain.
She heard a sigh next to her and her daddy sat down next to her bed with a heavy sigh. He locked eyes with his oldest child.
"You did real good Mercy. You saved your brothers when I couldn't. Thank you so much for saving all three of you."
Mercy was unsettled when she saw the tears in his eyes. Her big and strong daddy was almost crying it wasn't right. She felt like crying as well in that moment.
"Mercy I am so sorry. I know you saw it, in Sammy's nursery. I'm sorry you had to see Mary like that."
Tears streamed down his face as he sobbed into his hands over the loss of his wife, the love of his life, the mother of his three children. He was hunched over in the plastic chair. Mercy had never seen him like this before, had never seen him look so small.
Mercy stared at her daddy. She had been trying so hard to not think about it. But her dad managed to bring the memory into focus. She couldn't handle it; tears fell down her face in a mirror of her father.
She could see her now. Her beautiful mummy pinned to the ceiling with her insides on show. How pale she was and how broken she looked. Her eyes were blank, not showing the love that was always there.
"Daddy, is mummy dead?" She had to ask. She had to know for sure.
"I'm sorry, Mary's gone. I'm so sorry." Mercy wasn't sure if he was talking to her or her mother.
Her mother that wasn't there anymore,
It hurt so much!
Where did the angels go?
The eyes were the worst. They kept following her everywhere she went. They were watching her when she was in the hospital and were always there in her dreams; nightmares really.
They were always the same, yet always different.
It was always that night. Always the night she watched her mummy burn. But sometimes it would change. Sometimes it would be Dean, or Daddy, or Sammy, or sometimes all four of them. Just pinned to the ceiling, their insides dangling next to her head, the worst one was when she was the one that put them there. She was the one with those sick yellow eyes. She was the one that was the monster.
She could hardly sleep nowadays, hardly surprising. Her nightmares would wake her up stupidly early and would not let her sleep until the next night where it would all just repeat.
The sad part was she had become mute from the trauma. Or at least that was what the doctors had said. She hadn't spoken a word since she asked her dad.
So she couldn't cry out when her nightmares became too much. She couldn't tell her brothers everything would be alright (is it really?), and she couldn't sing.
She couldn't do the one thing that would connect her to her mummy. She couldn't soothe Sammy when he got loud, couldn't help Dean through his own nightmares.
And Dean seemed determined to follow by her example.
Her family was falling apart, her whole world was falling apart and she just didn't know what to do.
Mercy was currently having a staring contest with one Missouri Moseley. She wasn't sure how it had started or why, but she couldn't seem to stop.
She had come in with her dad sat down and somehow managed to get in this situation.
The woman hadn't even acknowledged her dad or brothers. Just walked in and knelt in front of her.
She held up a finger every time her dad tried to say something and shushed him when he didn't get the message. It had managed to get a giggle out of Dean which Mercy was grateful for.
The woman in front of her was very pretty. Not in the typical sense, but the way she held herself made her look like a proud and beautiful queen.
"Well thank you sugar."
Mercy blinked. She knew she didn't say that, she hadn't said anything for weeks now. So why did this lady thank her?
"Just because you can't speak it doesn't mean you can't tell people things."
She went wide eyed at the dark skinned woman. She could hear her thinking? That wasn't possible. Things like that didn't really exist, except,
"You know I can hear you Mercy. So you can tell me what you want to tell your daddy and I can tell him instead. Okay Pumpkin."
Mercy nodded. If what she said was really true then she could tell her dad what had hurt her mummy!
"You know what burned down your house?!" The woman looked very surprised. It confused Mercy a little. The lady had known that she wanted to tell her dad. Why didn't she know exactly what she wanted to tell him?
"I can read your thoughts, not know everything you know. And pumpkin, my name is Missouri."
She nodded at the explanation. That made sense, in her head it did anyway.
"Yes John, she knows what hurt Mary. But pressuring her will do nothing but make things worse! She can't speak so of course she hadn't told you!" Missouri glared at her dad. She must've heard what he was thinking.
She turned to look at Mercy again with kind eyes. Like the way… mummy had kind eyes….
"Now pumpkin, will you tell me what you saw?"
Mercy decided to do one better and show Missouri what exactly had happened that night.
Oh, the memories still scared her and the pain of not having her mummy anymore wasn't going anywhere. But she had been through it so many times in her dreams that she could think back on it without losing control of her mind.
"Oh pumpkin, you grew up fast. You're so mature already." Why was Missouri sad when she said that? Wasn't it good that she grew up? Now she could look after her family properly.
"No, you're not supposed to have to do that! That is your daddy's job!"
Mercy decided to ignore that. Her mummy had said that big sisters were supposed to look after her little brothers. So that was what she was going to do.
She brought forward the memories of that night before Missouri could correct her again.
Her heart froze and ached so much going through it again. But she was strong. She could handle it.
She remembered hearing her mummy running down the hall, and the scream. She remembered running in….
She couldn't handle it! Those eyes just wouldn't leave her alone! They're what hurt her mummy and they just wouldn't go away!
They were evil and mean and bad and kept showing up in the corner of her eye! Her family wasn't safe! It was still following them! Teasing her! Letting her know that it could take more of her family!
Her mind was nothing but those horrible yellow eyes. Staring at her, looking into her soul, they were going to hurt her!
She didn't realised she had been screaming until her throat began to burn. It was the first sound that had come out of her mouth in weeks and she didn't like it.
Missouri enveloped her in a hug as she sobbed. She wanted her mummy! Why did the yellow eyes have to take her mummy away?!
"Mummy, I want my mummy! Give me back my mummy! She said she'd be there forever. She promised to help me! She promised! She promised! She promised! She promised! I want my mummy!"
She screamed and screamed and screamed for her mummy to come back. But she wouldn't.
It wasn't fair. She was her mummy.
She wasn't supposed to leave them all alone.
She just didn't want to be alone anymore.