"He's not handling it." Sam didn't bother phrasing it as a question. They both knew it was the truth.

They had all been suffering since the incident at the hospital, the death of their Dad was weighing heavily on all their minds. They all knew what John Winchester did, and all had mixed feelings about his sacrifice.

Mercy spent the first part in an almost apathetic state. Her mind couldn't process it, none of them could really. And soon after came the relief that Dean was alive. He was the important one at the time and she thanked her father profusely in her mind for finding a way to keep Dean in the land of the living.

Then the realisation of whom it was who actually died kicked in.

Sometime after seeing her mum again Mercy had come to the realisation that she wasn't as strong as she wanted to be, but she was in no way as weak as she tried to convince herself at low times. This shook those findings with the force of a tsunami.

She was too weak to protect her family from ending up in the hospital. She was too weak to find a way to put Dean back in his body. She was too weak to convince her father that there was still hope.

She was too weak to save her family from the yellow eyed demon again.

Then again, if her Dad couldn't at least send the yellow eyed bastard back to hell, what chance did she have of killing the thing?

Positive thinking was the key to surviving these tragedies, even when you wanted to curl up in a ball of agony.

"What is the soldier without his general?" She replied nonchalant. The only one out of the three of them that seemed to be handling this like a normal human being was Sam. He had always been the mature one.

"He's not a soldier!" He slammed a hand on Bobby's table, knocking her glass of wine.

Mercy stared down the glare she was being given by her youngest brother. Mature he may be, but much like their Dad, he had anger problems.

Neither dared to speak until one of them backed down. Mercy wasn't scared of Sam, no matter how harsh his glare. He wasn't going to win this battle.

She continued to stare pointedly at him after he reluctantly looked away.

"I know that." She paused, "But does he?"

A tense silence filled Bobby's house. Mercy was just grateful that Dean had been spending all his time fixing the Impala; this was definitely not a conversation she wanted him to overhear.

"Give your brother a bit more faith." Both Winchesters spun to face the door in surprise. Bobby simply continued. "He ain't some flowery teenage girl, now stop moping around my house and do something productive you damn idjits!"

"How're we supposed keep going Bobby?" Mercy asked quietly as she peeled the carrots. "I mean, Dean's obviously not coping, Sam just wants revenge and then to go back to his normal life, and I just keep saying the wrong things."

Without even the slightest bit of hesitation he answered her.

"You ain't their mother, and I sure as hell ain't your shrink. Your problems are your own, and their problems are theirs. So let them sort their own selves out and you focus on finishing my dinner!"

Mercy smiled, "Sure boss."

He was still that old grump she had met all those years ago. He still had that soft spot for the Winchester children.

Mercy stared wide eyed in horror as she watched Dean slam the Crowbar into the mostly fixed Impala. The powerful blows reverberating throughout the scrap yard, and deep dents appeared in the cars body.

He was vicious with his blows, no holding back and no consideration for the injuries he was causing himself. Every swing had the entire power of his body pushing it to destroy another part of the car they had called home for most of their lives.

But it wasn't his actions that scared her the most. That would be the expression on his face. The feral look would have suited a scream of animalistic rage, not unlike the monsters they hunted.

Mercy had been there for everything in his life, she knew his expressions like no one other than Sam. She had never seen such a look of hatred and self-loathing on anyone before, and it scared her because that was the look of a man who was falling off the edge. She was scared that not only would he hurt himself, but he would probably kill her if she tried to interfere.

All of a sudden his blows became pathetically weak as something inside finally gave way. Tears streamed down his face in despair and Mercy couldn't hold back her own ugly sob.

The two locked eyes. A moment passed as they assessed each other with more than a tear in one eye.

They quickly found themselves in a tight embrace from the other as the last wall fell and they cried without shame. It was something they both needed, but it wasn't guaranteed to fix the problem.

So the Roadhouse…. It looked crappy, rundown and the exact type of bar they would have a blast getting drunk in.

They had left Bobby's without telling the man where they were going, but something told her that he already knew, or at least had an idea where they were heading.

"You two go in, I need a stretch for a couple minutes." And by stretch she meant waiting out the pins and needles in her foot that would have her walk like a crippled penguin if she tried to put any weight on it.

Knowing her brothers, the two of them would make fun of her for it for months to come. She may be shameless, but she still had her pride.

Wait, that didn't make sense. Oh well, she shrugged her shoulders at the strange thoughts that appeared in her mind. It was nice to get out for a bit and find a way to kill something that definitely deserved it and not be framed for murder. Not that it has happened yet, but it will, and it would be either her or Dean. Sammy had too good a luck for that to happen to him first.

Mercy shook off the thoughts once again. She was going depress herself if she continued down that road. She had promised herself to not dwell on the bad stuff and couldn't go back on it before she even had her first case that month.

Deciding that her leg could now support her weight without feeling those pricks of the needles, she made her way to the door the boys had previously entered.

Entering the bar, she was greeted with a heart stopping scene. Her boys were stood opposite two women with shotguns. Shotguns that were facing the floor, but she didn't notice that small detail.

One second she was at the door and the next she had the elder of the women pinned to the floor with her trusty silver knife placed against a major artery of the neck.

"You have ten seconds to give me a damn good reason for pointing a gun at my brothers or I will hack you to pieces before you can even start screaming."

She only had an instant to see the defiant look on the woman's face before her brothers yanked her off the attacker.

"Mercy, she's a friend! She wasn't trying to kill us!"

A quick glance told her that they were telling the truth, and with a long examination of the mother/daughter pair she deemed there to be no threat.

"Sorry about that, I kind of go terminator when these two manage to get in trouble. Hope I didn't hurt you too badly?"

To tell the truth, Sam was scared for a second there. He had seen Mercy angry before, it was hard not to when she was the very definition of over protective when it came to him and Dean. But this was different. The second she saw a potential threat they were helpless to stop her from attacking.

Although, they really weren't expecting her to go so blood thirsty so quickly. The Mercy they knew would have stalled for time to understand what the hell was going on before "going Terminator" as she had just put it.

He thought it was just Dean that they would have to keep an eye on, but they were blind to their sister. Apparently she didn't think anything was wrong.

She had always been the one to rely on and never really faltered for long. She was the open book of the family, but that book was full of riddles that would twist your thoughts all over the place.

Maybe they were putting too much pressure on her to be the stable one.

It had taken a while, but the Harvells finally warmed up to the oldest Winchester. Well, Ellen wasn't too hard to win over. The camaraderie born from the fierce protection of their "Kids" was one that scared the three younger hunters.

Jo was the one they had trouble with. She didn't take kindly to having her mother almost killed right in front of her.

To be honest, Mercy was fairly sure the blonde would never fully forgive the attack. Maybe when she had kids of her own?

Then again, the boys weren't her kids so she really couldn't liken it to that.

They decided to have Sam and Dean do the case whilst Mercy stayed at the Roadhouse. She wasn't sure why it was decided like that, but it would be suspicious enough with the two of them snooping around. Never mind three.

"You fuss over them too much." Was the first thing Ellen said when the two of them were alone.

"What are you talking about?" Mercy had a bad feeling about where this conversation was going to go.

"Now I'm not the best person to be saying this. I'm almost as bad when it comes to Jo. But you're coddling them."

Mercy tensed her body, "I do no-"

"Yes you do." Ellen cut in. "It's gotten worse recently. I can see it in how you act around them. That thing that happened this morning wasn't normal, even the boys were shocked. I know you don't want either of them hurt, but their hunters, it's in the job description."

Mercy's clenched fist was so strong that her nails were cutting into her palms; she didn't want to hear about all this.

"The more you try to protect them the less they will fight and the more likely they will die when you go down."

She opened her mouth to protest but was quickly cut off from being able to voice her opinion.

"Yes, you will. Because you don't see those boys as capable hunters but as little kids that need protecting from all the evils in the world. I, at least, fight with Jo on equal standing. You keep this up and you're going to be the reason the two of them die."

She took a step back, trying to escape the reality that was just dumped on her. She felt like her whole world just collapsed from underneath her, but didn't allow herself to show it.

She knew she was coddling the boys too much, but she thought it was better for them to be grumpy and safe rather than happy in heaven. Though it seemed she had the wrong idea this whole time.

She really couldn't learn her lesson. Hadn't Sam already scolded her for this exact same reason?

She needed to get some fresh air.

The boys came back to the Roadhouse in relatively good moods. The monster was gone and they were able to blow off some steam.

The first sign that something was wrong was the grim face of Ellen Harvell. That alone was enough to get them on edge, but the letter in the older woman's hand and the lack of Mercy in the bar pretty much told the brothers all they really needed to know.

Not that either of them were willing to accept that.

Sam, Dean,

I'm so sorry for doing this. I can't tell you how much it hurts me to do this. I love you two so much, maybe too much. I know you've both noticed how clingy and over protective I've become over you guys since Dad died. Hell it might have even started back when Mum died.
I'm starting to see you as little kids that I know you aren't, but it's so hard to just let you run head first into danger.
So I've decided to let you two have some room to breathe and hopefully grow. It's not just for you guys either, I need to learn how to cope with all my problems without making your lives more difficult because of it.
Anyway, that's enough of that chick-flick moment. I'm sure you're glad about that Dean.
So I'm going to leave it with one demand:

Don't fucking die. You know I won't.

Mercy,