The first few weeks were the worst. Like anyone going "Cold Turkey", the need to go see them, to make sure they're not getting themselves into unnecessary trouble, was almost unbearable. She couldn't sleep or eat and only had the motivation to continue getting further away from the boys.

Each second away from them just tore her heart that little bit more. How did their dad stay away for so long? He must have had a heart of stone. Or the common sense to know that it was better for all of them that way.

She had to take the battery out of her phone on the very first day. Sam and Dean wouldn't stop calling and she didn't think she had the strength to keep herself from picking up the phone. She had deep scratches where the urge to contact them became almost too strong and made her body itch to leave the hotel room.

She knew from experience that marks like that were going to scar for a long time, and that healing them was going to be a painful affair. Getting her hair to grow back in those little bald patches on her head was going to be a bitch too.

How had she not realised that it had become this bad before this? She was like a madwoman; she shouldn't be allowed to be near the public.

Her mood swings even scared her at times and the incessant want to be able to hold her brothers made the worms living under her skin wriggle and writhe. It wasn't pleasant and she sometimes forgot why she was even doing any of this. It wouldn't be any effort to just go see her brothers. They were probably in trouble again anyway and would need protecting.

But she would always remember by the time her hand touched the door handle.

The fourth week came and she deduced that she was stable enough to go to a bar and drown her mental illnesses in booze. Or at least have fun trying.

"What was he like?" The bartender asked.

Mercy focused on the attractive female in front of her. She was tall, brunette, and looked like she could kick ass. Mercy was so very tempted to flirt, until she realised the ring on her finger wasn't for decoration.

"Girls only look the way you do when they had to leave their partner, even if they didn't want to."

Mercy let out a disbelieving chuckle and took a sip from her whisky, letting the burning liquid fall down her throat and settle in her warming stomach. Even drinking had seemed to have lost its fun.

"Trust me darling, I have left some of the most amazing people behind without a second thought. Well…" Mercy placed her chin in her hand and sighed, "No second thoughts until now."

"Hmm," The bartender placed a hand on her hip, "then what's got you in such a sombre mood, if not a boy?"

She turned an incredulous eye towards the woman pouring another glass of whiskey.

"Since, when are you my shrink? You should know I'm only paying for the drink." She held up the second drink to emphasise the point. In return her new "shrink" gave a joyful chuckle.

"Let me give you a bit of advice, stranger. Living life isn't about staying alive or helping others or any of that crap you're told as a kid, it's not even about living life to its fullest. Life is about striving to be the person you want to be and not give a crap what others think, because it takes a strong person to admit their problems and try to correct them."

It felt like the weight had been temporarily lifted and her chest felt like there was comforting warmth clearing away the stress.

"Why did you have to be married?" Mercy simply groaned, her face resting on the surface. But she was glad for the pep talk. She wasn't just doing this for Sam and Dean; sometimes it was hard to remember that she was important as well.

Hunting was the one thing she knew would help. It made her focus and actually think rationally for once. It cleared her head and gave her a purpose that didn't involve her brothers.

She was only just realising how depressing it was that she only had her brothers and hunting as her purpose in life. Had she ever actually done something for herself?

The lack of answer widened the hollow cavern in her mind and heart.

She shook away the dark thoughts and continued to read the newspapers that had some concerning headlines.

Swan diving Shrink

Anti-gay activist gone insane

Missing Murder suspect

And her personal favourite,

Platypus infestation shocks town

It took a bit of digging, but Mercy had been able to uncover some nasty rumours about the shrink. Apparently she had thought it was a good idea to convince her colleague's patients that a couple more pills were perfectly safe or that bleeding allowed the depression to pour out.

The other two were obviously massive dicks as well. The nut-case especially, that hit very close to home.

But it was simple enough to realise what was going on, but the hard part was finding out who the trickster was posing as. They were all different and had different approaches. Some liked to be in the thick of things, setting things into motion as part of the players, others preferred to stay back and watch the prank unfold from a safe distance, then there were the really irritating ones that set the prank and got bored before even seeing what happens. They were the hardest to find.

Mercy sighed in frustration as she threw the papers onto the table and leaned back in her chair. No matter how many people she interrogated, how deep she dug, there were no leads to whom or where the trickster was. But seeing as the strange happenings had stopped, Mercy was sure the trickster had gone onto the next town.

She had already decided that there wasn't much of a point chasing after the god anyway. He wasn't killing any innocents and most tricksters didn't actually eat any humans; that was the other pagan gods.

Mercy was shaken from her musings when her new mobile started beep. Mercy couldn't stop the small sweet smile spread across her face when she saw who was calling her.

Within moments the stress of the hunt disappeared and Mercy felt incredibly happy and slightly exasperated. It was the closest she had ever been to being in love, and she kinda liked it.

Flipping open the phone she let the smile grow until it reached full on grinning.

"Hey Gabe, are you feeling lonely?" she teased.

"Of course, you're not here." The cheeky voice replied. Mercy could hear the double meaning to his words, and good god did it make her melt when his voice went low like that.

"Aw poor baby, but it looks like you're in luck, I just finished work and have the rest of the weekend free."

"Well what are you still doing over in that crappy motel? I have some chocolate with your name on and more movies to laugh at."

The thing she had with Gabe was so simple yet so complicated at the same time.

They had met when she was going through another of her "emo" phases and was trying to drink her thoughts away with little success. He happened to think she was hot and she wanted to forget for a night.

It didn't take much, just a few lousy pick-up lines from him and a few laughs from her and they found their way to Gabe's place and into his bed. Not that either of them were satisfied with just the bed. To be honest, that night had to have broken some sort of record because there is no way anyone else had gone that many rounds in so many places in the apartment.

It was one of the best nights she had had in years and she felt so much better just before she finally fell asleep. And sleep she did, it was the most restful night she had since she was still a child, and thankfully there were no dreams.

The next day she somehow managed to get talked into staying for breakfast which turned into lunch and then into movie night.

They talked and laughed and got along so well that a week passed by and she was still staying in the apartment. On that last day they both went "Fuck It" and decided to date like normal adults, although they both knew that they so far away from being "normal" that they should have their own little category just for the two of them.

Gabe was small for a guy, or at least small compared to the men in her family (still taller than her, much to her irritation), but most definitely had the personality to make up for it. He was loud, witty and such a joy to be around that Mercy no longer spent her days mulling over her brothers and was finally living for herself and was purely happy.

He was almost elf like in features which really added to his "mischief maker" look along with his styled light brown hair and hazel eyes. She had to admit that she had spent hours simply admiring him instead of watching the movie and loved every minute.

He was the one thing she had ever done for herself, and she was sure she was falling in love with the sassy man.

"There's something I need to tell you." Mercy winced at her own wording, but she really couldn't think of a better way to put it. It wasn't fair to Gabe to keep anything from him.

Said man's fingers stopped petting her head and the tension in the room increased as he turned the volume on the TV down. She couldn't look up at his face so she kept her head on his lap and stared squarely ahead.

"Whatever it is, I doubt it's as bad as the things I need to tell you." He replied.

Mercy decided to ignore his comment for the moment and continued with her speech.

"I know that you've noticed how I get sometimes. Random bouts of depression and all that crap, and I don't think it's fair on you to keep dating you without you knowing about the baggage I'm bringing along."

Mercy told him all about her life, minus the supernatural element of course. She had seen how that had worked out for Dean and didn't want to risk losing Gabe because he thought she was insane or something.

She told him about watching her mother burn to death, watching her father slip deeper and deeper into the bottle and having to care for her two brothers. She spoke about the hardships of moving constantly and the challenge of basically being a single mother before she had even become a teen. She told him about the diary entries and what she had to do and was forced to do to keep her brothers alive and healthy. She explained how Sammy had left the family to go to a fantastic college and how proud yet heartbroken she was. She told him everything from then until she and Gabe met.

Her story was met with silence to begin with and Mercy slowly began to panic for every second that passed where he didn't reply. The anxiety kept building until she felt like she was going to throw up any second.

It was almost sad how scared she was of losing a man from something as unchangeable as her past.

When Gabe once again started to stroke her hair, Mercy started sobbing in relief. He didn't hate her, and accepted her for her past.

She wasn't expecting him to start talking about his father and brothers and all the things he had been through in his life.

"We all have skeletons in our closets, Mercy. I'm not going to leave you because of something as stupid as that." He said with tears falling down his face.

Seconds of silence passed and Mercy could feel the shame rising to her cheeks, of all the chick flick moments that had to be the most embarrassing one. Unable to keep control, Mercy elbowed the chocolate haired man in the stomach.

Pretty soon the two of them were rolling about on the floor tickling the life out of each other, laughter filling the place.

Was this love? Because it was awesome.