CHAPTER 18

A hooded figure walked swiftly without looking either to her right or her left. As it made its way deeper and deeper inside, the sound of the dripping water became louder and louder.

Little red-haired elleth tagged along confused until they reached a small waterfall which poured water from the ceiling filling the small lake which adorned the center of the complicated stone halls. "Where are you taking me?" breathless elfling asked trying to examine her whereabouts without success.

This couldn't get any stranger. Soon, her nameless and faceless tour guide detained his footsteps upon reaching the boarder of the lake. Before there was more time for questions, it simply made another step and sank underwater in a blur of images.

Tauriel took his spot watching the peaceful; yet the surface filled with darkness. Her own reflection stared back at her evenly before a wave arrived to stir the water before her eyes. Without a single note of warning; she fell into her regular nightmare. Her reflection was replaced by blurred silhouettes and; yet again; they screamed at her to flee and not look back.

As the enormous wave was about to spill over her head; she screamed knowing it served no purpose. She would drown in the water.

Two frightened green eyes stared into the dark completely disoriented. Her hands flew to her; now sweaty face trying to chase those images away once she realized it was only another nightmare. She only wished to know whether she screamed out loud. No one came for a very long time so she exhaled and still held her head in her hands. "Please no more." she said in a quiet squeal not aware of the fact that silent tears started to drop.

It was the dead time of night so she was not surprised to listen and hear nothing. It took her a while to recover from the blow, but she was accustomed to fight against it by herself. Her mind was almost made up upon seeing her friend, but her little sense of propriety won her internal struggle. Legolas was probably asleep and not requiring her trivial nightmares; or so she thought.

She snuggled under another blanket in another attempt to rest. Her second winter in the palace was as confining as the first with the only difference that her number of acquaintances grew as the time passed. The king was not as distant as before, sometimes she'd stay with him after the meals; mostly when his son was not around to be followed.

Sometimes, he would teach her something new or something she already knew only not in so many details. King Thranduil lived through many ages and witnessed battles that became legends written in books which Tauriel devoured with undying interest especially during this cold season.

The interphasse between autumn and winter was the greatest challenge. Many days so much like the one where everything was lost made her revive the memories which only came in her sleep at the present. Desire to see her old home again came not surprisingly, but that journey would require at least a full day and the affection for her friend made her realize that she couldn't go to such extended expedition by herself. Placing that request before him or anyone would require admitting to her own weakness which made her resistant to the idea. Leading this battle alone was exhausting her mind and her spirits, but she hardened her heart to conceal it.

The hope that her dreams would stop didn't abandon her, but deep down she knew that it was in vain. Almost every night brought disturbing images to her subconciousness and the state was not improving; in fact the nightmares became more horrible. Only dreamless nights seemed to be the ones where she was snuggled in her friend's chest although even those ended in something dreadful appearing before her on the very end and Tauriel avoided her friend's presence during the night; not because she didn't enjoy it, but for the mere reason that she didn't wish to admit to either herself or him that she required his help to overcome this.

The grief was overpowering at times. Feeling lost in the maze of her tormented mind during the season which so unwelcome reminded her of death made her heart turn to seek understanding. King Thranduil was cold most of the time inflicting respect to his people and fear to his enemies, but Tauriel feared him not.

She started seeking for his company especially when his son was absent for any extended period of time. Somehow, he knew exactly what she needed. Her actions spoke for themselves. When she would approach him in the silence, he knew she only craved for protection and no matter how intimidating he appeared; he never ordered her to leave.

The king sat at his private study next to his chambers and revised letters and pleas of his people. It was his usual ritual every evening to dwell in the problems of his kin. Tauriel came in silently not looking in any particular direction, His eyes stood fixed on the parchment even though he sensed her presence.

This did not dissuade little elleth. She came forth towards the chair he was sitting on. Only acknowledgement she received from him was when he placed her on his left knee and encircled her little form. Her head rested on his shoulder while she kept a firm grip around his waist. The king merely placed his left hand on her exposed cheek offering her silent proximity, but this was enough. Neither of them spoke a word and the elven lord simply continued with what he was doing like there were no interruptions.

This strange habit went on until he was finished and ready for sleep. Tauriel closed her eyes and fell asleep where she lay. Through some strange bond, he could sense what she needed. If she were truly upset he would place her on his knee like now and let her embrace him while breathing in his scent. If she merely wanted company, he silently allowed her to sit next to him and place her head in his lap.

His lips softly pressed against her forehead before he placed her on his bed and covered her with a blanket. They would sleep together once the king relieved himself of his weapons and his cloak. Tauriel never screamed out loud, but she woke him up every time something vile haunted her dreams. Thranduil patiently stroke her head embracing her while he sang her a lullaby under his breath which he knew had the greatest effect on her.

They slept through the night and their parting was as silent as their reunion. Maybe that was one of the reasons why she looked for comfort here and not in her friend who was more than willing to protect her. The king said nothing; he knew words were not enough to express such grief. They both loved and lost.

Tauriel woke up sensing that Thranduil was awake. She never left his room before performing her silent goodbye. She would embrace him once more and brush her cheek against his. Why she always chose the one with hidden scars was far beyond the king's understanding, but on his surprise he did not forbid her such contact. This happened almost every time that Legolas was not there to witness it.

Even though it seemed that this solitary battle would be fought forever, the day finally arrived when this burden would be shared with someone else. In the deepest winter while the wind blew with all its might although without snow, her resistance was crushed.

The intensity of the latest course of events which appeared in her subconciousness during her dreamlike state jerked her awake one hour after she fell asleep in the first place. Her bedroom was completely in the dark forcefully reminding her of the scene which she witnessed in her dream. The similarity itself would have crushed her, but in the combination with the foul squeal of the wind and the exhaustion resulting from two sleepless nights finally made her get up and pursue the warm comfort of her mellon.

She was only mildly awake while she stumbled around the corridors to her friend's chambers. Her whole body shook from the shock, but she made it to her destination with no interruptions for there were no guards nearby. When the wooden door appeared in front of her, she knocked quite forcefully with no reply. Nothing moved or breathed inside.

If she were completely rational, she would have turned around and went back the way she came by this point. However, her coherent state was questionable so she opened the door wildly only to find the room behind it empty. The prince was not in his chamber, but his weapons were, Tauriel realized when she took a step inside and closed the door.

The bed was made and the curtains were open. She felt lost, but had no courage to go back to her room so instead she crawled on top of her friend's blankets and buried her face in his pillow while breathing in his lingering scent. The other pillow ended in her embrace when she enwrapped both of her arms around it crushing it to her torso. Pretending that this insignificant object was her friend was impossible, but it made her calmer even though she was far from peace tonight.

She kept her eyes wide open too frightened to fall asleep wondering where the prince may be at this time of night. Legolas simply decided to stretch his feet before going to rest. He did not feel tired in any case and he gazed at the stars outside for a brief while before the cold urged him back inside.

He noticed nothing out of ordinary while he made his way through the familiar path to his chambers. Only guards awake were those who were stationed around the palace or were on patrol duty. Laeorn was on patrol often for his captain duty required this. If he was not the one to patrol around, it was either one of the corporals or lieutenants. However, the young prince found none of the mentioned tonight. The halls were utterly silent.

There were no guards stationed at his door. This did not please his father, but the prince preferred his privacy over any level of reasonable security they could offer in its stead. It was highly unlikely that he would ever be in peril while they were safely inside. The soldiers guarding all entrances and exits only reaffirmed such conviction. His father dismissed his personal security as well when he intended to retire for the day. The prince wore his long silver tunic and unbraided hair. His lack of weapons was refreshing, yet it felt awkward to part with what represented his constant companions.

No sooner than he entered his owe room, he heard silent breathing from the direction of his bed. His eyes scanned the mild darkness to find a little form snuggling into his pillows while staring in the distance. It hit him by surprise to find her here; he did not see her today when he returned from one more of their hunting expeditions.

"Are you here to invade my room little mellon or did you miss me?" the prince asked lightheartedly taking two steps forward into the light. Little elleth wasn't perceptive as always and seemed to be far away when he returned to hear him enter even though she had high sensitivity to the sound of his footsteps.

His words had an effect though not the one the prince was anticipating. Tauriel's trance broke at the sound of his voice. She released the pillow she was crushing for comfort and her feet silently thudded on the floor in great velocity. Legolas never saw her move so swiftly or with greater urgency. Before he had time to realize what she intended to do, she jumped into his arms which instinctively wrapped around her little form and lifted her up.

She had done this before although not as quickly so he wasn't alarmed by her actions. This would habitually be the time when he would make a teasing remark on her behavior and she would begin to chat lively of everything that occurred to her mind.

While he deliberated on appropriate remark, he felt her shaking resume in full force; not that he would be aware of its original strength, but it caught him by surprise. "Tauriel." he called trying to get a small glimpse on her face, but it was buried on his shoulder and underneath his hair.

When his attempt to see her resulted without success, he moved his hand from the top of her head to her face already suspecting what he would find. He heard them before he sensed them; tears were cascading down her cheeks soaking the thin silk of his tunic.

His bewilderment soon turned to anxiety which he tried to suppress in order to aid his friend who seemed to be hyperventilating. Something dreadful woke up inside of him while he braced himself for something far more terrible then he expected. Tauriel did not cry often, but she had cried on his shoulder before.

Today she seemed to be in a state which sent the prince to desperation. She sounded more and more like a wounded animal in her distress; usually her tears were silent. His hand moved from her cheek to her forehead only to find that she was burning in fever. "Gin iallon. Edraith enni!" she spoke in a somewhat acceptable tone, but the words themselves increased his anxiety.

Legolas made several attempts to place her on the bed so he could call for a healer. His kind was supposed to be immune to disease so he was alarmed by what was happening. He assumed that it was on nerve basis, but before he could corroborate that, he needed to pacify the trashing elleth who refused all his attempts to be parted from him. She reacted to his voice, but she seemed too terrified to release the hold on him.

"Tauriel av'osto, gin iallon lasto nin. Amin naa sinome. Le beriathon." he called to her hovering over without releasing his grip. He held one of his hands on her forehead and gripped her hand with the other pressing her down sensing that her movements slowly ceased while she drifted into her delirious state. The prince did not know what was better for her, but he needed her calm in order to send for a healer. He sat next to his little friend with a hand on her forehead not wishing to startle her with any sudden movements.

She was lying sideways on his bed with eyes closed. Before he could make a move to go and send for someone the door of his room opened to reveal his wary father in his night cloak. "Ionneg, guards informed me that someone was shouting in your chambers. What happened?" he asked making a step inside not waiting for any kind of invitation. His eyes fell upon the little elfling.

"I don't know Ada. She seemed awake when I came in, but when she started crying it was like she was asleep and awake at the same time. She has a fever. Elves don't get ill. Every time I try to release her to go for a healer, she falls into a state though she is calm now. I don't know what's happening." Legolas chatted away trying to ease his anxiety with words while his hand remained on her warm forehead.

Thranduil observed his son and Tauriel at the same time trying to make sense of these words. "Stay here, I will send someone to fetch healers. Make her warm while I do that." he instructed his son who looked like being close to a "state" himself.

Legolas looked gratefully at his father before placing Tauriel at the center of his large bed. He placed a pillow under her head and covered her with two thick blankets. His father returned and sat on her other side checking to see how high her feaver went up. The grave look on his face made Legolas pale down even more while he held her hand.

"Peace Legolas. If you want to help your friend, you will need to be strong." the king said after a moment of silence.

The prince wouldn't easily be comforted. "What is wrong with her? Will she be alright?" he asked trying to sound somewhat calm grateful for his father's presence.

His father did not give him a straight answer. Healers arrived in less than five minutes headed by Ninenath who looked a little pale, but focused enough.

"Aran nin. It would be best if you left me alone with my little patient. We will have to remove her clothes to discredit any possible injuries." Ninenath said taking charge of the situation quickly. Legolas seemed reluctant to oblige, but his father smoothly convinced him that he would see her again soon.

Father and son waited outside while the latter paced the length and width of the corridor anxiously. The king limited his role in merely observing, but offering no words of comfort. An hour that seemed like a full century passed before Ninenath made her way toward them. Legolas met her halfway with no patience left. "What is wrong with her?" he asked before she could speak.

"She had an emotional breakdown Hir nin." Ninenath said after a sharp intake of breath. Legolas visibly paled down not being able to utter a single word or breathe at all. His father placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Breathe ionneg. Are you able to tell us what caused this?" Thranduil asked seeing that his son was in no shape to ask the right questions.

"I can give you a good guess, but certainties I do not have." she replied speaking to both.

"Guess away." Legolas said after a brief pause.

Ninenath looked at him sympathetically. "I would guess the cause is grief, but it's hard to be certain for she hides it well. When I treated her after the dreadful event, she was having nightmares; probably reliving their deaths. It is common when you witness the death of somebody you cared about. I don't know if she had them since for I only saw her when she was awake." she replied searching their faces for any kind of information.

"Her dreams are still haunted." confirmed Legolas with a hint of anxiety.

Ninenath nodded, but said nothing. "The question remains what is the best course of action in this case?" the king asked voicing his son's unspoken words.

"There is no exact science here. She will be asleep for a day or two. When she wakes up, she will do what she has done so far. That is the easy path, but not a solution. We can turn our heads and pretend that everything is fine the same way she does." Ninenath offered her first option while Legolas sent sharp daggers from his eyes in her direction.

"Yes, but that won't solve the problem. The question is however, what would the consequences of such choice be?" the king asked emotionless.

His son had a strong urge to shout at him, but chose to stay silent. "There's a small possibility that she would be able to heal by herself in time. This is however, the unlikely scenario for we saw that her grief is growing stronger rather than perishing. I never saw an elf die from shock, but if we let her continue this course; the grief will consume her and it's most likely that she would fade little by little." the healer replied readily to such a question. Ninenath had no trouble calling the things for their names no matter how cruel they sounded.

"What is the hard path?" the prince asked in a stone cold voice pretending not to hear such devious outcomes.

"Tauriel is sealed; she will not ask for help if she can stop herself. However, I don't think that she will refuse it if freely given. There's always something that can be done. I however warn you that this might require a great sacrifice of your time." the healer said with a more gentle voice.

Legolas looked confused, but before he could voice his question Ninenath continued. "Let me explain that an ngell nin ernil nin. Tauriel is well enough when awake, but it is her sleep that is haunted. If she is left alone during her resting hours; she feels alone and solitude is the worst defense against grief and fear because the second makes the first gain in power. This applies to the situation at hand. A familiar presence is the only remedy I can recommend. She seems the most attached to you Hir nin Legolas. Whether it was your intention or not, she is part of your life so I could almost certainly claim that she is more likely to open up to you than to anyone else. While she is asleep now, it is essential not to leave her without supervision." she elaborated watching the evident relief cross the prince's expression. This he could do with pleasure.

"My son is a prince, are you implying that your recommendation is for him to sit by her side and neglect his duties while doing so?" the king asked slightly outraged.

"Not necessarily Aran nin. I simply advise a familiar presence at all times. Captain Leorn and Beleorn are also familiar to her. I will also spend time with her when my duties allow me to do so. Also there is..." she stopped midsentence feeling that she said too much.

The king raised his perfect silver eyebrow. "Yes?" he asked tentatively.

"You Aran nin. I cannot even attempt to guess the nature of your relationship, but she seems ... fond of you." she tried to find the right words, but was rational enough not to mention the word father in the king's presence.

Thranduil simply pierced her with a gaze before dismissing her. "A word with you Ada, preferably in private?" his son stated rather than asked.

"Ofcourse ionneg, let us speak in my study." he simply replied not contradicting his son. Legolas was the only one who could ask the cold king something without giving him an option to refuse.

The doors of his study closed and before the king could utter a word, the prince spoke up. "Are you going to forbid me to spend even more time with Tauriel?" he asked with an expressionless mask.

"Would such a restriction mean anything to you?" the king raised an eyebrow without the real question in his words.

Legolas looked at him evenly without saying anything. "I didn't think so. So why do you ask me this in the first place?" the king replied with a sigh.

"I value your opinion Ada, but if I leave her to her fate; I will regret it forever and that is a long time to dwell with such guilt. I ask this question because I'd rather do it with your support. I take no pleasure in disobeying you." the prince replied watching his father's features soften.

The king looked taken aback by such a declaration, but collected himself quickly. "You will always have my support ionneg even if I do not agree with you. When you rescued a fawn from the forest, I wished not to deal with him, but I supported you. When you asked me not to take your little friend away from you against my better judgment, I supported you. When you insisted to gift her with a horse at such a young age, I disagreed, but I supported you. I'm not comfortable with you dedicating even more time to her care, but I will not withdraw you my support." he replied with a tender look he reserved for his only son.

"Hannon le Ada." he replied surprising the king with a tight embrace worthy of his little friend. He did not withdraw from such contact; he cherished it. Legolas too valued such moments with his father for they were scarce.

When his son reluctantly withdrew he placed his palm on his right cheek. "I know that you desire to see her. You are here, yet your mind is in the other room." Thranduil almost grinned at his unfocused expression. He wasn't entirely correct for his mind wondered between there and here.

When Legolas turned to follow his advice, the king's voice rang again. "Legolas. If you need me, I am always here for you even if I don't appear that way." he said when his son turned to the sound of his name being spoken.

He placed a hand on his heart and deliberately walked away when his father did the same.

Translations:

Mellon – Friend

Ada – Father

Ionneg – Son

Aran nin – My king

Ernil nin – My prince

Hir nin – My lord

Gin iallon. Edraith enni! - I beg of you. Save me!

Av'osto gin iallon, lasto nin amin naa sinome. Le beriathon! - Don't be afraid I beg of you, listen to me I am here. I will protect you.

Hannon le – Thank you