CHAPTER 19

The prince made his way back to his room anxious to see his little friend and slightly guilty for leaving her side for any period of time. He walked inside to find all the healers apart from Ninenath were gone. Tauriel lay where he left her fully clothed with a cold cloth on her forehead. The motherly healer sat on one of the chairs without moving rising to her feet when he walked inside.

"You may go to sleep Ninenath, I'll stay with her tonight." he said absently approaching his bed.

"Do you wish me to arrange for her to be taken to her room?" the healer asked uncertainly. She knew that the king was not gracious about her presence in his room, but she stood quiet when the prince gave her a look full of cold outrage at such a proposal.

"The cloth will need to be changed at least once in two hours. I left the cold water soaked with herbs which will help her fever go down and sleep. There is also something for her to drink if you think her capable of it. She will not regain consciousness for a while, but if it's any way possible, she should drink it. I warn you that it is highly unlikely that you will get much sleep tonight." the healer sighed giving him short instructions.

Legolas memorized it all without a word. "I don't think I could sleep tonight even if I wanted to." he replied silently sitting next to the little elleth while Ninenath excused herself and promised to come check on her patient in the morning.

When he was left alone with his thoughts, he changed the cloth on her forehead before lying next to her on his bed taking care of not disturbing her peace. He wished that he didn't send the healer away for he would like to have someone to explain to him what was the best thing to do or not to do.

As predicted, he couldn't even close his eyes let alone get any amount of sleep. Little elleth released soft mumbles once in a while. His name could be heard as frequently as the word ada. In any other context hearing his name from her lips would make his heart light, but the mention of her father made him aware of the fact that she was watching him die over and over again. He was surprised not to hear her call for her naneth as well realizing that she was probably more attached to her father yet still it was odd not to hear her mother's name mentioned once during the whole course of the night.

Light of the morning changed very little. Tauriel slept somewhat peacefully for the most of the night, but her voice became more forceful at dawn. "I don't want to go. Don't leave." she spoke again and again with her eyes closed. Her breathing sped up which was the first indicator that she would start squealing again like the night before if the prince didn't pacify her.

"Av' osto tinu nin. Aduel an gi meriad. Gwestan." he repeated over and over again holding her hands to her waist in case she started to thrush around. He kissed her forehead and embraced her using some deeply buried instinct. Physical proximity seemed to calm her down; her breathing soon leveled and she stopped her wave of forceful pleas. He held her like this until he was sure that she was asleep.

When she was resting again, he walked over to the window exasperated. He tried to meditate his anxiety away with little success. The nightmares themselves didn't worry him as much as their consequences did. Why did he let it go this far? Knock on the door interrupted his musings. "Minno." he called quietly hearing the door open behind him.

The wary looking captain entered silently greeting his prince in the usual way when their eyes met. "Ernil nin, I heard that our little mellon was unwell." he spoke when he closed the door trying not to make any noise while doing so.

The prince motioned him to come to the next room. "Ninenath claims her to be unconscious yet sometimes I get the impression that she is listening." he answered Laeorn's unspoken question.

"What is wrong with her? Has she been harmed?" the captain voiced his worry in this way vividly remembering when lieutenant reported to him this morning.

"There's nothing physically wrong with her apart from the fact that she is currently running a fever. It was an emotional breakdown according to the healers." the prince replied taking a seat on his couch before saying anything.

The captain paled down visibly reminding the prince of the similarity of their reactions. He fell on a wooden chair uninvited in shock. "But she was fine." he claimed in confusion not remembering any indicators which would prevene him of this.

Legolas shook his head. "She was far from fine for a very long time. It was just more convenient for me to pretend like everything was normal. I knew that something haunted her dreams, but I very much underestimated its magnitude until last night." the prince replied with obvious self-reproach in his words.

"It was not your fault mellon. No one could have anticipated such an outcome." Laeorn finally regained the use of his voice.

"Whose fault was it then? I watched her struggle and did nothing thinking that she would come to me in her own time, but she did not come to me until she didn't find herself surrounded." he asked frustrated in his anxiety.

Laeorn sighed, but decided to change the subject. "It was no one's fault mellon. What can we do to help her?" he asked thoughtful.

"Healers advise me not to leave her alone, especially not when she is asleep. Ada does not find it agreeable, but he will not be in my way. I was also advised not to leave her without supervision until she regains consciousness. Ninenath used the word familiar presence. As it happens your arrival is most opportune mellon. Do you have any duties to attend to today?" the prince replied trying to ease his own anxiety with a mixture or words which barely followed some order.

His friend just shook his head. "I already performed what was necessary. I have to overlook the training session after the afternoon meal, but apart from that I am at your disposal."

A reluctant sigh came from the prince's lips. "There is a council meeting and it is necessary that I attend to it with my father. They will discuss the reinforcements for the eastern guarding posts. Also I'll share a meal with my father. He's being unusually supportive about this, but I don't want to lose his graciousness over avoiding food." he stated reluctantly having no desire to leave her side.

"I'll take good care of her while you're gone. Is there anything I should look out for?" the captain assured him noticing his uneasiness.

Those two were truly attached to each other, it was hard not to find that slightly amusing. Before she came to the scene, there was nothing his prince enjoyed more than a good hunt. Now, he would have rather stayed with their little elleth and saw fighting more as a duty than as pleasure. He would find new will for it when they were both members of the hunting party which would come to reality sooner or later.

The prince was too preoccupied to see the captain's thoughtful amused face. He mostly repeated to him the instructions he got from Ninenath adding a few of his own observations. "If a nightmare assaults her again, physical touch and comforting words will calm her. You will just need to be more persistent than her. I will be back as soon as I can." the prince replied sighing and excusing himself, but not before emphasizing. "Don't let anyone move her from this room. Warn them whoever they may be that I forbid it." he said not leaving any room for contradictions before walking out.

The captain wasn't aware of how much time passed when Beleorn walked inside after finishing his morning training session and dismissing the recruits for their meal. He was quickly informed of the events when he asked the same question Laeorn did upon arriving to prince's room. Beleorn noted that his little warrior looked pale, but apart from that sat quietly satisfied with merely observing.

Ninenath came with another healer by the name of Gale to check on their little patient. Both guards simply stood by the window instead of excusing themselves. They did not pay much attention to their exchange until the healer mentioned the word moving.

"We should arrange for her to be transferred to her room. It is hardly proper for a commoner to linger in the prince's chamber longer than necessary." Gale said unconcerned about anything or anyone. Both guards recognized her as the wife of a council member. They were perfect for one another; both incredibly arrogant yet captain hoped to find more compassion in a healer.

His demeanor remained calm, but he was furious. "I would not advise you that hiril nin. Ernil Legolas strictly forbid her from being moved out of this room." Laeorn said with utmost respect even though that was the last thing he felt when looking at her.

The only response he received was her disdainful grimace; first for him than for the little elleth. "It's impossible to understand why so much fuss over someone so insignificant. Only thing she gives in return for the honor of having a sindarian prince for her protector is trouble. Why not simply allow her to join her parents in the halls of Mandos if that is her desire? Her death would give us less trouble than her survival." Gale continued her line of fire like no one spoke at all. Ninenath was used to such expressions so she simply stood quiet, but the guards were outraged.

"Get out." the captain ordered with so much authority that even Beleorn flinched upon remembering why the ellon standing in front of him was the leader of Mirkwood armies for hundreds of years.

Gale finally turned to give him a good look narrowing her eyes. "I beg your pardon." she asked looking at him like he was a piece of mud on her shoes.

Laeorn was calm enough to be confused with such treatment. "I ordered you to get out of this room. Perhaps your hearing is as rotten as your heart hiril nin. If you find it impossible to understand the purpose of healing her, what are you doing here in the first place?" he responded in equal manner using her honorable title with evident mockery in his tone.

"Who are you again?" she asked paying closer attention.

Beleorn was the one to answer. "Show some respect upon addressing him. He is Laeorn, captain of the Mirkwood guard and the general commander of its armies." he said staring the insolent healer down.

"My family comes from a noble sindarian line. I take no orders from common Sylvan elves whether they are captains or common soldiers." Gale replied disdainful at such a treatment. "Mirkwood takes anyone to lead their armies nowadays." she added in clear insult.

Laeorn refrained from laughing; he heard many referrings to his Sylvan origins during his long life. "A nobility which apparently you did not inherit hiril nin. This common Sylvan elf today is also an emissary to ernil Legolas. I was ordered to look after Tauriel while he is gone, but if you have any complaints to my methods; by all means go and appeal to the prince. As for your other concern, address the king if you have any objections to his choice of captain. Now get out or I will throw you out and prey that little Tauriel did not hear you for the prince won't be satisfied with your behavior. I hope you have no children and if you do, I pity them." he replied adding a menacing line to his voice just in case.

The healer left with several words of offence on their accounts which gave Laeorn little discomfort. Ninenath silently thanked him and Laeorn excused himself to go and overlook the training session.

The prince returned to Tauriel's side and did not leave her again for that day worrying little about his father's possible objections. He encountered Beleorn upon his arrival who only informed him of the captain's departure and Ninenath's words. There were no real news so he excused himself shortly after. Laeorn came again before the evening meal, but the prince refused his offer to go and take a bite so he sat with him for a couple of hours; the pair of them speaking little.

His father arrived shortly after Laeorn departed to find Ninenath fussing over the little elleth while his son watched her from the window. Both the king and the prince stood next to each other when she approached them.

"The fever is down my lords. Little one is no longer unconscious; she is simply asleep and she will be awake in the morning. She will be weak, hungry and thirsty when she does for it's hard to say when was the last time she ate." she declared satisfied while Legolas released the breath he was holding and his father sent the healer to sleep.

The king made no visible change of his stance though he too was relieved. "Ionneg if you wish to sleep go to my chambers. I can watch over your friend tonight." he tried to persuade his son though he did not use his commanding voice.

There was no indicator that this gave any result the king hoped for. "Hannon le Ada, but I prefer to stay with her. I don't think I'll be able to sleep until I see her eyes open again anyway." he rejected the offer respectfully yet leaving no space for being persuaded otherwise. His father sat with him for a brief while before bidding him good night with his son placing his head on the pillow next to Tauriel's.

Blurred faces kept coming into her subconciousness; some of them making little sense until they would take the shape or the appearance of someone she recognized. A pack of orcs came out of nowhere and started burning the village. Her father with silver blonde hair urged her to flee, but she refused to leave. Her faceless naneth pulled her out of the house making haste towards the forest while she watched the first orc attack her father who had the king's face. She woke up startled as per usual and took deep breaths in and out feeling incredibly thirsty and weak. The nightmares always left her wary, but never before without strength.

Her hand found something silky while trying to return to reality. She looked to her left only to find that her friend was asleep on her waist with one of his hands holding her tight. This is getting strange. I am usually the one that ends up on his chest. She thought trying to make sense of the events remembering coming here and snuggling into the prince's bed, but nothing beyond that.

Her movements ceased when she decided not to wake up Legolas. If she made noise during the night, it meant that he got very little sleep. She was too weak to move anyway so she chose to brush her fingers through his hair. He sighed in contentment, but did not awake.

She could see the shy sunrays breaking through the clouds bringing the morning. Tauriel despised the cold; for even though she was somewhat resistant to its claws; it still confined her to the palace especially when it snowed and it felt increasingly uncomfortable. At least Legolas's multiple day expeditions were less frequent.

The resentful line of her thoughts was suddenly interrupted when she felt something warm on the hand which lay on her friend's head. She focused back on him to find him mildly awake and raising his eyes to look at her clearly confused. She withdrew her hand immediately fearing that she may have crossed some invisible line between forbidden and permitted. Legolas was busy blinking the rest of his sleepiness away to detain her, but he soon hovered over her with the largest smile she ever saw lighting his beautiful immortal face

"You're awake tinu nin. My heart rejoices." he said kissing her forehead forcefully; too relieved to remember to be careful. "Man cerig?" he asked caressing her cheek.

Tauriel looked perplexed, but it wasn't in her nature to deny him an answer. "Thirsty mostly. I will go grab a cup of water." she replied somehow succeeding to sit up although with no small amount of effort. The world seemed to go around in circles.

A hand flashed and ordered her to remain seated. "I will go get you something Ninenath left for you to drink when you wake up." her friend said moving to the table quickly barely giving her time to blink. He returned with a cup which contained some sort of cold tea with a notable aroma of herbs she barely recognized. It gave her new strength although she still felt incredibly dizzy.

"Have I been ill?" Tauriel asked when she felt like she was capable of speaking.

"It is a long story. You need to eat something first, I will send someone to bring us food. Stay here and don't move." he replied walking out of the room and coming back before she had time to even think about disobeying him. In truth, his father left a guard outside the door in case he needed anything.

Their meal was delivered shortly and Tauriel decided to oblige her friend and eat before asking any more questions. He let her try to stand against his better judgment, but she was insistent. When she finally obliged him and sat down, visitors started arriving. First to be informed of her recovery was naturally the king who always seemed to be a step ahead.

Laeorn and Beleorn soon joined them. They arrived from different places, but met at the door. They both greeted her lively. Laeorn gave her a tight embrace while Beleorn limited himself to make a small remark on solider resilience. Ninenath arrived shortly after and gave her a tender kiss on the cheek in encouragement. Upon examining her, she gave her king the green light to ask his questions.

"Do you remember what happened Tauriel?" he fired away watching her shake her head.

"Goheno nin, but I vaguely remember when I climbed into this very bed and I think I saw Legolas come back after a while, but nothing clear." she apologized trying to call back that night.

"Learn to address your prince properly little one." the king replied quite irritated earning a resentful look from the ellon in question which he ignored. Tauriel mumbled her apologies, but he waved them away in order to get the information he required.

"Nothing else?" he inquired studying her face.

Tauriel looked far away. "Nothing clear, only unusual dreams." she replied summoning back one in particular in case the king wanted further elaboration which he did.

"Unusual in what way?" he inquired.

"At some point I wasn't even sure I was dreaming. I heard Laeorn's voice and possibly Beleorn's like through mist. Then there was this female voice. They were talking or rather arguing. This female voice spoke something about commoners in the prince's bed, lowly Sylvan elves in charge of your armies and my death. I didn't get much of that. I think Laeorn kicked her out of the room soon after that. He sounded rather furious." she replied not being able to repeat that conversation.

Thranduil raised a perfect white eyebrow. "I was rather furious." Laeorn interjected with a sigh. "We were hoping that you didn't hear that rather heart-warming exchange." he added calling back the memory in question.

"What is this elleth's name?" the king started interrogating his captain instead for he obviously did remember more than the little elleth.

Laeorn shifted from foot to foot feeling increasingly uncomfortable before speaking out loud. "It was Hiril Gale Aran nin. She is councilor Brien's wife and a healer. Ninenath brought her over yesterday while I was watching over my little mellon over here." He finally said placing a hand on Tauriel's shoulder while he gestured his speech toward her.

When his king wanted a detailed report on the spot, he knew better than to rebel against his orders. He managed to sneak a warning glance to the prince who did understand his silent wink, but had no time to prevent him from speaking. The whole room was given the insight of what happened; Beleorn occasionally added a remark and Ninenath confirmed their words. The captain made an effort to highlight the offensive expressions made towards him, but no one and especially not Tauriel was fooled. Little elleth tried to piece these bits of information in her head in order to understand why were they all fussing about her, but neither of them mentioned anything that could enlighten her.

It seemed that she was the main topic of this conversation, but rarely anyone gave her much notice. Little elleth tried to make her mind find answers to words such as If her wish is to join her parents... It was hard to grasp why her strange illness would be connected to them.

No sound escaped her lips during their exchange which left her with little patience. Only impediment for her immediate abandon of this room was the thought that perhaps the king was not done with her yet. She limited herself to observing her feet while trying to shut out their voices.

When finally, the only remaining elf in the room appeared to be her friend, she placed her feet back on the ground. The prince watched her thoughtfully until she gazed back at him questioningly trying to read his face. Unnamed sadness was the easiest to interpret. Pity. It was physically hard for her not to flinch at that particular expression. Any unspoken questions died out on her lips.

Pieces slowly fell into place when she made a connection between the healer's remark and her friend's current sentiment. This made her realize that she didn't truly wish to hear an answer to her doubts. "May I be excused?" she finally willed herself to speak though not the words she originally had in mind being cautious not to catch his examining gaze.

She watched the prince's expression from the corner of her eye noticing his surprise. This must have been the first time she openly admitted her wish to remove herself from his presence, but she only wanted to disappear to her solitary room as she always did. Something appeared in the prince's eyes; a mixture of determination and anger when he deliberated on her request.

In another time, he would have obliged her desire to be alone, but after the fright he just went through this did not appear like a good solution anymore. "Why? So you can go back to your room and pretend like everything is as it should be once again?" he asked in a hard voice though his tone remained calm.

"I'm fine." little elleth heard herself speaking a well rehearsed yet deceitful line.

"That is a lie! Stop using that word!" Legolas finally lost his temper raising his voice which finally resembled the tone of his emotions which came to surface. His sudden outburst surprised Tauriel immensely. It sounded menacing making her look at him closely though her eyes were no longer impassive or sad; her face paled down with undisguised horror. Her eyes were wide as she watched his hurried approach.

Her fear was irrational much as her reactions, but her heart beat wildly in her chest. It all happened in the span of a few seconds. Legolas took two final strides meaning to reach out for his friend who seemed alarmed by his words; but her response was nothing he would ever expect. His temper was subsided as quickly as it rose, but he misjudged his friend. Before he took his final step, she moved two steps backing away from him and before his arm reached out to caress her face and sooth her like it often did, she closed her eyes frozen in place not daring take a single breath waiting for the blow that never came. Tauriel stood by the edge of the bed without the ability to move a single muscle while her eyes remained sealed.

The prince detained while he watched the retreating figure. His confusion was apparent, but it soon changed to understanding. His words weren't the ones that frightened her. It was him. His horror grew when he realized that he was the one she was afraid of; that she contemplated the thought of...

"Tinu nin." he spoke with the gentlest loving voice kneeling two feet away from her. His voice did not agree with Tauriel's irrational imagination. It came from further than she expected. Her eyes flew open once more taken aback by his expression with the traces of former fear subsiding.

She watched him with something like mixture of relief and diminished caution on her face while she returned to her normal breathing. "You cannot possibly think that I would ever harm you. Tauriel, I would never raise a hand on you no matter how angry I was." she heard him speak filling her with shame for contemplating such atrocity. His face was full of regret. "Goheno nin for shouting, you can't even begin to imagine how much you frightened me that night. You were screaming at me to save you, but I don't know from what." he added not daring to come closer fearing that would scare her even more.

"It is I who should ask for forgiveness ernil nin. I should have remained in my room as I always do, but for my defense I can only say that I wasn't entirely awake at that moment." Tauriel replied not wishing to discuss that night anymore now or ever again.

Legolas fought to keep his temper under control. He made move to approach her again ogling for her reaction, but she observed him calmly as he did so. He knelt again so he could look straight into her beautiful green eyes that lowered to the floor. He placed a finger under her chin and lifted her face to meet his. It was barely a couple of inches away from his own. "U-moe edaved. You should have come to me sooner. Why do you suffer in silence when I am right here?" he replied caressing her cheek.

Tauriel looked at him, but tried to remain calm. "Please don't look at me like that. I don't want your pity." she finally spoke slightly shaking her head while she gazed at his expression.

The intensity of his gaze didn't release her. "It is not pity, it is love. Tell me something. When you consoled me for the death of my friend, did you do it only because you felt sorry for me?" he asked with poorly disguised irritation in his voice.

Tauriel stared at him surprised by such a thought. "No ofcourse not, I..." she was interrupted by his unyielding voice.

"Then why is it so hard for you to believe that I care for you as much as you care for me? Is it because you think me devoid of any noble feelings or it is simply that you don't trust Me?" he asked reading a reply on her face without any need for words.

The prince was very much aware of the fact that he was handling the situation badly, but he too had feelings which clouded his judgment. "It is actually both I believe. If you think that I am capable of deceiving you, you must truly believe that I am a monster." he replied standing up so quickly that Tauriel barely had time to react while she processed his words with horror.

Every appearance of calm was lost. "Daro! Avo garo! You can't leave me, I need you! It is me I don't trust, I am no one; only a damaged elfling who gives you nothing in return, but trouble for your kindness." she screamed after him when he was already half way to the door. The tone of her voice made him jerk around in surprise.

Her words stung worse than morgul poison when she crushed into his waist holding on tightly while she openly sobbed into it. Her scream was enough to sober his temper, but her confession would be his undoing. He easily scooted her up crushing her to his chest planting kisses around her hair and her exposed cheek while tears streamed down it growing worse with every second. "Av' osto. Amin naa sinome. You are part of me, my sister, my friend, my little star, my family, my reason to get up in the morning, light in the darkness and my hope. While there is a single breath in my chest, I will protect you and care for you." he whispered into her ear letting his emotions flow freely for once. His grip was so strong that it would drain the soul out of every ordinary elf, but she responded by tightening her own hands around his neck.

His hold remained firm while he paced around his room with her in it for what seemed like hours, but he didn't notice the time passing. His daily assignments didn't cross even the back of his mind while he both cherished this moment and let his heart bleed for his friend's pain. It took her hours to stop crying, but she finally did. His eyes looked through the window for the first time to notice that it was already dark. This did not disturb him the slightest; in fact he preferred to avoid everyone for today so he made his way to his bed.

He could almost sense Tauriel's fear when he lowered her to the mattress making space between them so he made sure to stay as close as it was physically possible. "Shhh, I am right here I promise. I'm not letting you go." he said kissing her forehead than the small palm of her hand.

When he lay down next to her, he sensed her placing a hand on his chest while looking at him. He stared back at her with a tiny smile. "Angels are not supposed to cry." she said wiping his cheek with her tender hands. The prince realized that he too had shed tears, but was too busy to notice it before and strangely he did not care. He felt lighter than he ever did since his mother passed away and his father turned to what he was today.

"Sevin le. We will speak tomorrow. Sleep tinu nin. If they try to harm you, tell them that you are not alone." Legolas replied caressing her face which hovered over him for a moment longer before pressing her lips to his forehead and snuggling into his warm chest. They both fell asleep as soon as they closed their eyes; both emotionally exhausted.

Ttranslations:

Av's osto tinu nin. Aduel an gi meriad. Gwestan. - Don't be afraid my little star. I'm here to protect you. I promise.

Minno – Enter

Ernil nin – My prince

Mellon – Friend

Hiril nin – My lady

Ionneg – Son

Hannon le Ada – Thank you father

Man cerig? - How are you?

Goheno nin – Forgive me

U-moe edaved – There is nothing to forgive.

Daro! Avo garo! - Stop! Don't! (In this context it means don't go/leave!)

Sevin le. - I have you.