Chapter Twelve
Vector sat in the med bay with his hand soaking in a solution of kolto. Lokin had calculated the route to Bakura where they would refuel and then head back to Alderaan and the hive. The ship was already in hyperspace and he was leaving her behind again.
He was so tired of having no choice and simply moving as was required, he would rather die in the cold of space searching for her than be constantly flung in the opposite direction from where he knew she was.
Her heartbeat was so slow and faint that he wondered if she would even be alive when he found her. His resolve hardened around him like the chitinous shell of the killik and he would go on, he must go on, he just wasn't sure he knew how any more.
The only information that Lokin could collect from Bakura when he went around the spaceport asking about Zakuul was some old legend about a great serpent that lived in the deep folds of space and devoured planets whole. It was no more helpful than the ghost fleet that he and Temple had heard about on their first trip here.
The two weeks from Bakura to Alderaan were the most trying of all for Lokin. He watched his friend withdraw into a despair that grew deeper each day and as hard as he tried no amount of discourse seemed to pull Vector back from the brink of utter defeat.
Vector prowled the ship for hours, walking the same course over and over again as if he feared to stop or be still. As if he were afraid that he would hear something of her again that would straighten the downward spiral into a slide with some horrible pit waiting at the bottom.
Two days before Alderaan, Lokin grabbed his arm and forced him to stop, turning Vector to look into his eyes. "You cannot continue this way, you are literally eating yourself alive with grief and it will do neither Rey'elle or you any good in the end. Go back to the hive, let the pheromones do their work and continue to look for her as you are able."
"We could not bear to lose our love for her, she is the blood in our veins, the marrow in our bones, the reason we draw breath. We would cease to live."
"Perhaps," said Lokin. "But living is relative, you could exist, much as you did before you met her. Is there no way for you to preserve those feelings? Lock them safely in some corner of your mind and access them when they are most needed? It could be like a safe room where only you have the key. You could store them and use them when you needed to search for her, is there no way?"
Vector remembered his struggle to access his humanity, but, if he could learn a different way, something new.
He rubbed his chin as he began to consider. "Maybe. The Aebea nest showed us how to suppress the pheromones for brief periods of time and the Dawn Herald of Iesei, Lianna, may be able to help us learn to do more. We feel that she knows secret things that she might share.
"When we were joined, our humanity was taken by force, caged in a place so deep we forgot it even existed. But, something already hidden cannot be touched, it cannot be fettered."
Vector actually smiled and grasped Lokin by both shoulders. "We would kiss you if it were not inappropriate, doctor. You may have saved us once again with your logic and common sense."
Vector arrived at a new understanding that hope was a fragile and fickle thing. Renewing and breaking in equal measure, visiting like an ill gotten guest and then sneaking away under cover of the dark. It lurked in shadows, playing tricks, giving gifts then taking them back, laughing at the foolish who dared believe its lies.
Hope would not heal his broken spirit it would only fester into an open wound. He would be wary of hope, taking it at face value, knowing that the shining visage could turn dim and ugly at the whim of fate.
The advice of a good friend and patience were his allies now and he would wait a lifetime for her, if need be, but he could not sit idle in the interim. He finally came to grips with the fact that he must return to the hive, it was the only path to damnation and salvation that was open to him.
By the time they docked in Rhu Caenus, it had been nearly eleven months since the Agrona had exploded, nearly a year that he had searched and questioned and been led to false ends or cold trails. He needed sanctuary for his mind and heart and some surcease from the daily infliction of pain, he needed some way to bury his love, keep it safe until he saw her face again.
But, now, there was a task that Vector dreaded more than he cared to admit, the time had come for him to confront Lokin with the fact that the doctor would no longer be able to accompany him for the remainder of his journeys.
He walked into the med bay where the doctor was busy, as usual, running tests on whatever new formula was his latest development.
He cleared his throat as he walked through the door. "We apologize for the intrusion, but there is a matter of import that we must discuss with you."
Lokin looked up from his monitor. "Well, my boy, out with it."
"We are not able to articulate this in a kinder way so blunt truth would serve best. You will not be able to follow us where we must tread. The queen of Unu has declared that you are unwelcome to ever set foot on Finas Eth again, this also includes Gravis 5, where we must now go. She has vowed to end your life should you intrude upon the nests territories again and we have no doubt that she will follow through with that threat.
"You must leave us now, my friend, go to your safehouse and work on what will save your life, our paths can no longer converge."
"I see," said Lokin. "Her threats do not frighten me but the thought that you could get hurt or killed in my defense is the greater concern. My alter ego could tear her head from her shoulders and rip half her hive apart before she knew what had happened, but numbers would eventually overwhelm and both of us would be dead, nonetheless. Not a pleasant prospect for either of us.
"I require another two days to finish gathering data from my latest experiment. If you can give me that time, it would be much appreciated."
"We will go to the hive in a short while to ask the queen to finish her preparations, we will give you what time we can but you may wish to start packing your things. We are sorry, doctor, for both of us, we will miss your company and council."
"And I will miss yours as well, but we can save the goodbyes until later. We both have things to do, let's just get to them."
The queen was excited to see Vector and hear of the new world where Oroboro would establish its home. He opened up his mind and showed her all of the images he had committed to memory and she was pleased. A tremor of awe and anticipation ran through the entire hive mind as all participated in his sharing and he sensed a renewed drive to be on their way.
Efforts on the spitcrete ships would be doubled, and preparations would continue for the queens and eggs to be transported right away. Vector was told that he was expected tomorrow evening to pick up his cargo and he agreed but with one stipulation.
"What does the Dawn Herald deny to the nest? Such a request is unusual," stated the queen as she studied his face.
"There is one room on the ship that must not be entered. It is small, hardly worth consideration but it is sacred to us," said Vector.
"Sacred? We do not understand."
"It is a place that holds our past, the scent of memories, it must not be breached."
"Your request will be honored since you have found the new world for the hive, but should it be needed during the journey, we expect entry, there will be no argument in this.
"Come closer and tell us of the other hives that you met and how things fare for Unu and the Kind."
Vector shared all that he had seen and heard while on Finas Eth including the revelation about the new Night Herald and the black membrosia. He could feel that the queen was distressed over hearing these things but could not read what her intentions were. She also questioned the wisdom of absorbing a force sensitive into the hive, it had been done generations ago and it had changed the Kind even up to this day.
She was particularly concerned that this Night Herald was aggressive and had already seemed to influence Unu's thinking and goals. However, she also knew that her newly established nest would be too weak to make a difference at this time, but she thanked Vector for the warning and would take all information into consideration.
He was given leave to return to his ship to finish his preparations as well and they reaffirmed the hour when he would come back to the cave, she said that all would be ready.
When Vector was back on board the Phantom, he placed his first call in weeks to Vowrawn. The Darth did not appear pleased that he had not contacted him for such an extended period of time.
"My lord, there was nothing new to report," explained Vector.
"Nevertheless, we expect certain concessions to be made. So where have you been?"
"A mission for the hive and also the empire to see what the killiks can bring to this dire situation."
"And?" inquired Vowrawn impatiently.
"The killiks are not prepared to go to war on behalf of the empire, my lord. They will not be swayed in this."
"Damnation!" Vowrawn swore. "So we are truly on our own then. The Chiss will not join nor the killiks and who knows about the Mandalorians, we have yet to corner them to a commitment as it seems their worlds are beleaguered as well. Nox and I continue to prod the council into approaching the republic for a united show of force but now Mortis has all but cloistered himself in his apartments refusing to even attend meetings.
"My banking associates have noted movement of funds by Aruk and Rictis which indicates that they may abandon us at some point, like pests from a sinking ship. The only good news, of late, is that several republic and empire fleets have refused to engage which means that Admirals and Captains may have come to their senses and ignored orders from higher up. Of course, there are the hardliners who follow without compunction, but other than that, there may be hope that we can salvage something out of this mess.
"Bah! Emperor Arcann, my bright, red ass! They invaded our space first and have the temerity to turn the tables on us. They just keep coming, with the bunkers, the platforms and hunting our fleets down in space leaving nothing but wreckage. Our people are disheartened and frightened with good cause. Arcann intends to break our backs and then our spirits and for the life of me, I cannot think of any way to stop him.
"We sense Vitiate behind all of this, somehow, someway, it is our old emperor. One thing Beniko neglected to tell you was that after we sensed Marr's passing there was a surge in the force, not an indication of someone else's passing, but a shift. We do not know what it was for we had never felt anything like it before, we can only speculate and it is just one more unanswered question."
"What would you have of us, my lord?" asked Vector.
"Continue on with your killik duties, search for information. You would do nothing here except fight off Nox's advances and you would lose, I swear the woman gets moist at the mere mention of your name. Do what you can, my boy, contact me when you are able."
"Well, that was an uplifting conversation," said Lokin as he walked into the room.
Vector nodded. "And we are just beginning. Seems the dark council is just as selfish as they have ever been and we doubt that they will stay intact for much longer, Lord Vowrawn has his hands full.
"One more thing, doctor, the queen wishes to depart tomorrow evening, it appears that you will not have time to complete your experiment after all. We are sorry for this but we dare not disobey."
"Not to fret, I will gather my notes and can start again when I am away from here. Excuse me while I continue to pack."
Late the following morning, Lokin was ready to leave. Clothes, supplies, data pads and crystals constituted the bulk of what he owned. He stood in the middle of the med bay looking around to make sure he had not forgotten anything and had he been an overly sentimental man he might have been sad but he looked upon this change as just another unavoidable chapter in his life.
Vector entered the med bay to help Lokin move his bags nearer the exit door. "Well, doctor, it appears that both of us will be leading a solitary life for quite some time. We can check on you whenever we come back this way."
Lokin set down his duffel and looked into Vector's eyes. "Please don't, my boy. I prefer to be left in peace with my studies and experiments and would like for you to remember me as I am now, a relative picture of health. Both of our trips will be long and painful, I am afraid, and I am sorry I cannot continue to travel with you."
Lokin opened the airlock and extended the ramp then turned to Vector and offered his hand. "I hope you find her, Vector, I truly do. Kaliyo is right on one thing, neither of you is worth a shit without the other."
Vector took the doctor's hand. "It will be lonely without you to talk to, old friend. If you require anything at all, you know the frequency, we will come if we can. We do not accuse, but may we assume that you have not taken a copy of the star maps to Gravis 5? The nest must stay safe and hidden."
"Nothing taken that is not mine, Vector, if I should be captured, there is nothing that can lead to you or the hive. Ah, I almost forgot, I left you a copy of some Kaas opera. You may be in need of breaking the unending silence from time to time. May I suggest the 'Aria of the Fifth Moon' or the 'Foundation of Stone' duet? Both are quite elegant if a bit maudlin, however, your mood might warrant such a diversion."
"We are forever in your debt doctor and we wish you well."
Lokin pulled his hand from Vector's, shouldered his bags and without looking back, walked down the ramp and out of sight.
Silence settled around Vector like a shroud and the emptiness of the ship was heavier than he had counted on. He shrugged off the weight of both for his path was set and he could no longer afford the luxury of such encumbrance.