Flight of the Phoenix

by Elizabeth Carter

Book two: Sovereign is dead, the citadel once ruins is beginning to rebuild, the Council is saved and now Shepard is faced with a new enemy, one held over from ancient days:The Collectors. She must race against time, Cerberus and the shadows of a war yet to come. This is part two of my Ashes world: a retelling of ME2. Many game elements are changed because Shepard wasn't spaced.

20. In the Inside Looking Out

Chapter 20: On the Inside Looking Out

As Shepard and her team ventured into the Dantius Towers, Liara went on her own excursions, though they were more on a personal level. Setting up a network of information brokers took time and connections. Time she had, finding connections was the tricky part. Some Liara had harvested over the years and others she'd have to recruit just as Samantha was recruiting her own team. And there were others—inherited from Aethyta's network and many more from her mother who had not forsaken Benezia even after the indoctrination. Those particular agents had gone dark until the acquittal of the matriarch at the behest of the human Spectre, who had proven Benezia's innocence. Shepard had proven that after joining the ship Sovereign, the Matriarch was controlled by other forces and anything she had done was under duress and was mental manipulation.

The Matriarchy was convinced enough to give Benezia her legacy back and thus she had been given the burial rights as one of the Seats of the Matriarchy. But the Matriarchy didn't fully trust the T'Soni line since Benezia's fall and some very questionable actions from her daughter.

Benezia had sealed the documents which proclaimed the name of her bondmate and she had never dissolved their marriage within the courts, so those same papers documented Aethyta as her sire. Sha'ira wasn't even listed as a contributor to the Union or in fact marked as a Third. It fell to the bartender to watch over Liara and rein her youngest child in if necessary.

By ancient tradition the sins of the child are visited upon the mother. For it was the mother who raised her daughters, instructed them with their virtues, morals and philosophy. If the daughter abhorred these teachings and went rouge it came to the mother to rein in her child and bring her to justice. Barring that, it came to the mother's bondmate or the daughter's Adar to do so (as they were not always the same person).

The wild maiden years had leniency of course: but there was only so much leniency that was allowable. Any direct harm to the Asari Republics by a daughter of Thessia brought the wrath of the Justicars. No asari questioned their judgment for they were the guardians of the Republics and answered the actions of the unjust with appropriate measures. If a Justicar came for you, you answered for the transgression one way or another.

The only attention thus far that Liara T'Soni had attracted from the Matriarchy was to be watched by someone sympathetic. Aethyta made no great secret she was watching her daughter but she didn't go out of her way to announce it either.

Liara had become annoyed with the 'leaders' of her people for sending someone to spy on her but at the very least it was her sire. She never pressed the matriarch for details on what was in the reports Aethyta sent to the Matriarchy. It was a silent agreement between sire and daughter and in that silent agreement came the passing of resources such as Aethyta's network of informants. This was not, however, the reason that drew Liara to her sire's home this evening.

The motive was one of a more personal nature.

Aethyta watched as her daughter took one of the stools at the island bar in the kitchen. She sighed and leaned her elbows upon the surface and closed her eyes for a moment. It was as if she were drawing in the quietness of the apartment and indulging in the rare stillness of the eve. The matriarch knew the like; she had had several evenings like that. Nights where she grew concerned for Benezia who was jousting upon the fields of politics and religion and philosophy. She was always attempting to get the Matriarchy more involved in galactic affairs. Benezia had been adamant that the asari must share the wealth of knowledge they had been given rather than horde it away in the archives of the Ancient Temple of Athame. Around and around Benezia and the Matriarchy had gone about the topic and it had always s resulted in a stalemate.

Half the Matriarchy had become convinced to do as Benezia advised, the other half, lead by Tevos, denied such action as folly: the galaxy wasn't ready for such wisdom or knowledge. The other races were to rash and too eager so the hidden trove of knowledge of Athame must remain cloaked. Was this not why the Sari philosophies arose? All-is-One. Nezzy and her supporters argued if that is so then all races should be one with the knowledge. It had been a never-ending battleground.

A huntress's battleground at the very least was straight forward. She had a target, an objective and the only landmines she had to worry about were explosive, not political and long reaching repercussions. Neither life suited Aethyta. Despite the fact she was a powerful biotic she had never been a commando, never trained as a huntress. And she had not the patients to stay in politics; her self-exile was evident of that. Her youngest daughter, on the other hand, was something else. She was the bridge between scholar, politician and huntress.

To this day, Aethyta still wondered which was the more dangerous battlefield. It was as if Nezzy felt something coming. Maybe she even knew of the legacy of the Reapers, maybe that was why she had gone with Saren to stymie the flow of his obsession with reason. Now it was too late, if Benezia knew of the Reapers she hadn't shared it with her disciples, Aethyta was positive of that. Now Liara was saying much the same as her mother. The races must unite, resources and knowledge shared, for a war to end all wars was coming. Before the Galaxy knew it the Reapers would be upon them and if they were caught out as they had been when Saren attacked the Citadel then there would be no cavalry coming in for the rescue. Trying to save face meant noting in the hands of the final judge. Death would come to them all. But it didn't have to be that way, not if they prepared.

It was a monumental uphill losing battle but Liara and Sam and their followers were fighting it nevertheless. And it showed on the young face of the native Thessian.

The girl looked healthy, happy, though her eyes held a sense of worry for her bondmate out on a mission but this was to be expected and applauded by asari custom. Any bondmate that did not hold concern over her mate whilst in battle was to be shamed. On the other hand if said bondmate concealed her concern and held it within until she had a personal moment or in the midst of family was considered socially acceptable. The look in Liara's azure eyes were of concern and prideful confidence: ergo her mate was fine.

Aethyta moved to the line of bottles on the counter and selected a decanter half filled with rich molasses colored liquid: aged Novarian rum, a favored of hers. She poured a glass, dropped three ice cubes into it and set it before Liara.

The younger asari shook her head. "I'll take some of that pale jade tea that I know you like."

"I see you're jumping into the information broker role well," Aethyta chided her as she set the tumbler aside with nonchalance.

Liara smirked. "No. I know my mother liked it, you share a lot of similar tastes with her and so does your daughter."

Aethyta chuckled. "See I told you, you were mine," she winked with a prideful smirk. "Sha'ira can't stand pale jade. Oh she'll use it when the job requires it, being a Consort and all. But you're all Nezzy and me. Shay was only the dessert, kiddo. Hell, she was the after diner mint. You think you get that sexy gate from Shay? Hardly! Nezzy had the sexiest, drool-worthy sway to her ass when she walked..." the matriarch drifted off into memory of her lover.

Liara didn't want to get into her parentage. Sha'ira knew she played the role of amplifier to the Joining, insuring Benezia conceived. The Consort's ability to read people wasn't just psychology or observational skills, it was more than that. Sha'ira was very talented, empathically so. One hundred and eight years ago she had used the skills, her talent, to enhance the connection between Benezia and Aethyta, but in doing so part of her essence was transferred through the link. Technically Sha'ira was as much as her sire as Aethyta was, though the bartender contended because she was bonded to Benezia and believed their link was stronger, that she was the true sire of Liara and anything the Consort passed along was just incidental.

"Can we just have a nice evening and not bring your issues with Sha'ira into this?" Liara implored.

"Fair enough kid," Aethyta nodded. "And I'll get your tea. But I'm having the rum which, by the way, I know you like it. So what's up with not wanting any?"

"I won't be able to indulge for another year," Liara smiled. "Actually two on account of nursing."

Aethyta looked at the young face, "Not for another year?" a small frown appeared on the matriarch's face then vanished into an expression of mild puzzlement. "Wait a minute you said nursing. You're pregnant?" Her voiced was pitched with a hint of astonishment. Her brown eyes drifted to the flat stomach of the younger asari and a great smile appeared on her face.

"I am." Liara's face was full of light. She put her hand on her belly. Her voice became soft, "We want to try again. Samantha and I want a family, Adar."

Aethyta studied her daughter for a moment. She knew the loss of Liara's first child had been devastating for her- for both of them—Sam had been no less shattered. "I think that's a great idea, kiddo, but I have to ask you this. If I didn't what kind of Adar would I be? I may have gotten into this late but I'm not what your human calls a deadbeat dad. This new baby," she inclined her head to the flat belly of her daughter, "Tell me you're not pulling a Sha'ira."

"What do you mean?" Liara frowned.

"Benezia didn't give birth to a stupid child and I didn't sire one. You know exactly what I mean."

"You think we're having this child to replace Secura the way Sha'ira had her half-blooded daughter...Racean to replace me?" Liara's voice grew colder, harder. "No, 'Zia isn't a replacement. And I know what you're thinking. If I was still pregnant with my little Sparrow that Zia wouldn't be growing within me now. She isn't a replacement. Samantha and I want a family." Her blue eyes became glassy with unshed tears. "We want old age, marriage and a lot of little blue children," she offered a very small sad chuckle. "And I want a couple of pink ones. We would have still had 'Zia." The sadness hadn't abated. "We're just having her sooner rather than later."

Aethyta walked around the bar and put her arms around her child and pulled her into a hug. "It was cruel of me press you like that. But I needed to make sure you knew it in your heart. That babe you have growing in you... 'Zia" she made a slight face on mentioning the name, "soon will be developed enough to connect to. You know what that means. You felt it with Secura."

Liara nodded, cleared her throat a little trying to swallow the lump growing there. "I did." She squeezed her eyes tight and let the tears trickle down her freckled cheeks. "So did Samantha."

"She felt it through you, like a conduit," the matriarch assumed. It was not uncommon for a mother to act as a conduit so her bondmate could touch the soul of her daughter growing within her. Doing so with a non-asari was dangerous, however, as aliens were not trained to open their minds nor could they communicate in melds like an asari.

Aethyta had felt Liara growing within Benezia's womb, touched her mind—her soul. It had been moments of beauty, purity. A rare gift. One Liara had taken great indulgences in. One that was not often shared with Shi'ara which Aethyta used to justify that she was more Liara's sire than the Consort. But to have an alien mind touch a fetal daughter... it set the matriarch on edge. What could a human possibly know about touching a growing mind or soul? It was foolish of Liara to entertain it let alone allow it.

"No, I didn't act as a conduit," Liara shook her head. "Samantha and I are soul-bonded. What I feel she feels, and what she feels so do I." The younger asari's words grew so quiet her sire had to strain to hear it even standing as close as she was, "When I lost Secura, when I felt the loss of her soul and her body..." Liara's chest felt tight, "so did my bondmate..."

"As if she were carrying your baby..."Aethyta finished the sentence, "and she felt the loss of your daughter's soul." Her evaluation of the human had shifted once more, climbing ever higher in the favorable camp.

"Yes. And it was our baby, our daughter. Mine and Samantha's, equally. And Samantha will feel 'Zia grow. But we know now how strong our link is. We've learned how to control the connection, to shield ourselves and each other. We have to meditate every day to center ourselves and our link. It helps when we can do it together."

"And how will you be able to meditate together when you're separated?"

"Adar we are never truly separated, we are always linked. We can meditate together even if we are not physically together." Liara settled her breathing, "I'd prove it but she's on a mission and we're both shielding." She rubbed her belly, "We have to protect 'Zia."

Liara closed her eyes. Her mind flooded with the intensity of her memories of being shot, the shock of loosing so much blood. Samantha's battle, the onset of CS how it...the gestalt... All of it was just too much and it weakened her tiny heart. The trauma of it all had forced Liara's body to abort the fetus. The young mother's hand went to her belly, concentrating on the new life growing within her. That thought of the new life she and Samantha created was a healing balm. 'Zia wasn't created to replace Sparrow but she was healing both her parent's hearts.

Aethyta parted from Liara's side and went back into the kitchen to prepare the tea her daughter wanted. "I have to ask, why 'Zia? That is such a human name."

Liara whipped her eyes from the tears that had welled within them. "Her name is Benezia-Hannah."

This took the matriarch by surprised so much so she didn't turn off the tap as water overflowed into the kettle.

"You want to stop that?" Liara nodded to the faucet flowing water. "I'm certain it's filled by now."

"What?" Aethyta asked. Blinked. Then scrambled to turn off the water. She stared hard at her daughter, "You named her after Nezzy?" Now it was Aethyta whose emotions got the better of her.

"It was Samantha's idea to honor both our mothers. Zia is just her shortened nickname like you gave my mother."

Aethyta was grinning as she put the kettle onto is heating pad. "You know, 'Zia sounds like a good name."

Liara smiled in mild amusement as she watched Aethyta go about shoveling ground tea leaves in a steeping spoon. "A moment ago you found it distasteful because it was too human."

"Meh, it's a prerogative of a matriarch to change opinions. I just did."

Liara chuckled softly. "Oh, nicely phrased."

"Matriarch," Aethyta smiled as she offered the honorific. "We're good at that." A self-defeating shrug followed, "most of the time. 'The 'gift of words' was never my thing, kid. I do things the dirty way. More honest, just not as pretty. Something I got from my father."

"Aha." Liara simply smirked. There were times when her sire reminded her just a bit of Aria T'Loak. If she didn't know better, the Prothean expert would have claimed that Omega's Pirate Queen was the lovechild of Aethyta and the Consort. But they were all of a similar age: matriarchs the three of them.

Steam billowed from the now whistling tea kettle as Aethyta poured the hot water into the waiting mug and tea leaves. "Bit of sugar?"

Liara shook her head. "Honey, please. It goes better with the tang of the jade."

Aethyta paused before she went to the cupboard over the counter on the left side of the stove. "Just like Nezzy," her whisper was hitched with memory. Benezia never liked the taste of sugar in her teas, if they needed sweetening it was always honey. Liara was the same.

The mug was placed before the younger asari just before Aethyta refilled her tumbler with the Novarian rum and a few more ice cubes. "So this new development," she nodded to her daughter's belly, "was it all civilized or did you follow my advice?"

Liara held the mug between two hands, lifted it up and inhaled deeply the fragment perfume of her tea before taking a sip. It was a taste of home. Of Armali. It reminded her of her mother when they used to take tea together in the garden. Pale jade was subtle both in flavor and color. Benezia always claimed it was the perfect tea of a scholar since such study was one of subtlety and one had to take care to savor the words the mind consumed. It was the same for the tea, for it had to take time to steep, and time to sip in order to savor and enjoy the subtle flavors.

"When we decided to have the baby it was a bit civilized."

"And here I thought there was hope for you. Tell me at least you got naked and had a toss between the sheets and that it wasn't just a meld. How dreadfully dull."

"Adar!" Liara plunked her tea-cup down on the counter top causing a bit of its contents to slop over the edge. "Honestly, must you always be so crass?"

"Would you know me If I weren't?"

Liara chuckled. "No, I suppose I would not. And yes we had a bit of fun between the sheets... into the wee hours of the morning if you want to know the truth. And as far as your advice..." Liara grinned wickedly. "I did in fact take it. Samantha is very, very responsive when I'm frisky."

"That's my girl," Aethyta nodded approvingly. "You tear that uniform off of her?"

"In a manner of speaking I did in fact do that."

"Slammed her up against the wall? You know your mother liked that. She loved it when I took charge. I was never a commando but I had a pair of leathers...and the sounds I could coax out of -"

"ADAR!" Liara yelped nearly choking on her tea when it came back up in sputter. "I don't want to know that part of your life with my mother! Goddess you're terrible sometimes! " the younger asari scolded, looking exasperated as her sire chuckled in her deep rich tones.

"Ah hell, kiddo, sorry. Family, huh? What a kick in the quad. I cringed every time I saw my own mother dress in her commando leathers for my father. The noises they made were enough to curdle the blood cold and make you want to sleep in the neighbor's garden shed."

Liara gave a sympathetic look to the matriarch. She had no personal knowledge, of course. But she imagined krogan could become quite boisterous in rut. It also gave her a pause to think. She knew Aethyta had other daughters with a hanar. Given Aethyta's flamboyant behavior, Liara's mind hijacked her imagination and took it for a spin into unwanted territory.

"What's your mind chewing on now, girl?" Aethyta asked as she grabbed a dish towel and began to wipe up the spilled tea

"Nothing," Liara flushed with embarrassment. Not a few seconds ago she had scolded her Adar for describing her sexual life with her mother and now she was picturing those stupid human made porno games with asari and hanar. What was it with humans and anime tentacle sex? It was disgusting. Fortunately Shepard felt the same. She even forbade that particular subject of the genre on her ship in any format be it hentai games or vids.

"Liar." Aethyta stabbed a finger at her daughter. "Which is something you're going have to remedy if you want to be not just a good information broker but a very good information broker." She tossed the towel over her shoulder which landed in the sink.

"Um... with the hanar who sired my half-sisters, was it..."

"Now you want details? I know what you're thinking." She tapped her forehead with a deeply amused grin on her blue face, "The Union I shared with Choices-of-Ascending-Sunsets was all just a meld. Despite what those damned pornos play at, asari and hanar don't mix that way. And even if we did, even I'm not into that much kink. But she was a good friend. I liked her company. She was a little on the wild side for a hanar, if you can believe it."

"I can't imagine a hanar on the wild side. Criminal side, yes. I bore witness to it on Novaria with a smuggler but not one in a wild maiden stage."

"You haven't lived as long as I have kid. Wait until you see an elcor in drag, now that is something else. Sunsets was actually the mistress of one of the hanar diplomats. Forget what his face name was, never knew his soul name. He spent a great deal of credits on her back in the day, though. What can I say, she got around." Aethyta shrugged. "And apparently she knew how to please the males she tangled tentacles with. But that was several centuries ago. She and her diplomat playboy are long dead."

Liara made a face. There were times she wished Aethyta was just a tad more discrete.

"Anyway, your older sisters are twins. Didn't expect them that way, but sometimes you get lucky—happy surprises. I felt like a goddess-damned beached whale when I was pregnant with them. Just wait until you are waddling around, having to pee almost every hour and then the night sweats, swollen ankles, killer backaches, the all around bitchy-ness and of course unstable biotics that go with it. But when you see that tiny face...you're okay with all the crap you had to go through to make her come into the world. You never forget the pain of popping them out but hell it's worth it. Every bit of it."

"I know they are older than me. I recall you said you had them long before you became bonded to my mother. When did you have them?"

"I was still a matron, the fifty-fourth year of my third century. Vellamo and Nāmaka. They're matrons now of nearly six and a half centuries with grandchildren of their own: toddlers of course as my granddaughters are in just past their third century."

Liara looked a bit surprised at the news. She had no idea her sire had grandchildren older than she was let alone great grandchildren. Though this shouldn't have been that much of a surprise considering the longevity of the asari. Liara never imagined it would have ever applied to her. Which was something Liara was still very much coming to terms with.

For so long Liara grew up as an only child wondering whatever came of her sire, and then suddenly she had two and three half sisters. One she knew only by happenstance and decided not to further the relationship more than she had to. She felt no true kinship with Racen, perhaps because a part of her resented how the other maiden came to be. Sha'ira only conceived her to replace Liara. It wasn't fair to the maiden; Liara knew it but she wasn't prepared to confront her personal issues with that side of the family.

Another part of her agreed with Aethyta's assessment of Sha'ira's contribution to her own creation. The Consort wasn't even the dessert, she was just the after dinner mint. It was easier that way, less complicated. It would be so easy to simply ignore it just as the Consort had ignored her, denied her and pretend she wasn't connected to Liara at all until Hannah Shepard forced Sha'ira to come clean.

Aethyta was very different. She took a part -any part she could in Liara's life, even if only peripherally. She so wanted to be apart of Liara's life since her conception. So deep was this desire the bartender defied Benezia enough to claim the role of Gwanur or aunty. Benezia allowed it, barely, but that connection only happened after mother and daughter had a falling out. It had been Shiala who suggested Liara seek out Aethyta on Illium to gain a close connection with the self-exile. In time the connection had grown so comfortable that Liara had taken to calling the matriarch by the honorific of Gwanur never knowing how close of a connection she truly had with the older asari.

Perhaps as an award Aethyta was given photographs of her youngest either by Benezia herself or at the very least by her followers, or perhaps on the sly from Shiala. The bartender had several of them and most of them had either been taken by Benezia or had her in them. Some of them were of Liara as an adult. Those the archaeologist knew were taken either candidly or slipped to the matriarch by her network of spies.

Liara's photos were on display in equal presentation to the elder daughters. Though there seemed to be more of Liara than the other two girls. The only more prominent pictures were of children that Liara now realized were not Aethyta's elder daughters but of her granddaughters and great granddaughters. As was proper. Honor the youngest daughters of Thessia for they were the future.

"Adar, I know Sha'ira's excuses for why she wasn't a part of my life, not that I actually fully believe them for they are too convenient. As you say the Consort has the gift of words; anything out of her mouth is silken honey. Before my bondmate and I even met she took Samantha into a pleasure dome in her offices. It was an award for saving the Consort's reputation from a drunken, lust-filled turian general that was angered Sha'ira had spurned his advances of courtship. Samantha of course only knew Sha'ira as the Consort, no blame lands at her feet. But a part of me feels that Sha'ira wanted the trophy of having the First Human Spectre."

Liara's voice grew bitter. Weeks ago, when Shepard and Liara came to Aethyta to help them capture Miranda, Liara told the Matriarch they would speak of how she knew of the Trinity. The time apparently was now—the words burned in Liara's throat. Her sire kept her tongue between her teeth and opened her ears.

"Did you know she even told us a little of the story of how she lost me before the full of it was forced out of her mouth by my mother-in-law. We saved her grandchild, Maysa, from the folly of her judgment and when we did she gave us the 'gift of words' once more.

"But she told us not the full truth, only skirted it. There, in her chambers, we were alone and she could have said." Liara growled, continuing to vent. "She could have said, told me the truth-her part in it. But she didn't. She cowered and kept to the shadows where it was easier. When she told me your part of your connection I was so livid with you. My whole life you stood in those same cowering shadows taking the honorific of Gwanur rather than your proper place. I grew up thinking I was unwanted by my siring parent because I was pureblood.

"Samantha once told me that perhaps my sire wanted to tell me but couldn't, that she might have passed away. I told her I hoped she was right. I would rather have a sire dead that wanted me then one that turned from me because she was ashamed of me. In an ironic way she was mirroring her own creation. She had a sire that could not claim her but wanted to and one that wanted little of anything to do with her. John was given the task only because he was married to her mother and even that was a charade.

"And here I complain because of the web of hypocritical, skirted truths and silence. In all of this at the very least I wasn't out-right lied to. Of course that isn't the asari way, is it-to fully lie? Instead we spin webs of half-truths, shadows of misdirection and keep to our silences because it suits the long vision. Only I fail to see the long vision in the secrets of my family and why you were content with Gwanur and not Adar."

Aethyta listened as her daughter voiced her inner thoughts but spoke up to defend herself once she was finished. "I was never content with it. But rather that then pretend you were never mine. Benezia was so protective of you, covetous. Vengefully so. Only Shiala could get close enough to her without her wrath. Something happened to her in that missing year and it wasn't until you were two that she permitted anyone near. Not even me. I told her she guarded you too closely, that you would need to be free a little if you were to breathe. One day when you flap those little wings you will create such a storm. When you were three she softened again, and the ice sounding her heart softened as well."

"Little wing..." Liara gasped as the syllables hit here ears.

"You okay?" Aethyta asked reaching across touching her daughter's arm.

"Yes." Liara closed her eyes. "That was Naneth's name for me. Little Wing. I always assumed it came from Shiala for an incident that happened when I was still very little. I broke my arm from doing something rather stupid." She blushed a bit. "I jumped from a balustrade with a sheet tied to my ankles and arms thinking it would serve just as well as a huntress's parasail. I wanted to sail down, but my biotics weren't strong enough and in the fall I broke my arm. Shiala held me and when my mother came she told her I had broken my little wing." Liara's eyes glistened in happier memories and tears shed from them. "I...never knew my nickname came from you.

"Little Wing. It was you all along. She never spoke of you because the memory was too grave. At first I thought it was Sha'ira that Mother would not speak of, but it was you. My pet name was born not of accident but out of love for you. I know that now. Part of Mother's heart was walled up because she was afraid. Afraid to feel again." Liara closed her eyes tightly. "And I know I would be the same. Should anything ever happen to my melethril, my sweet Samantha, I would spurn deeper affections from any other. None could ever take her place. She is my soul's ease and my heart's joy. None will follow her; none will touch me as she.

"I know my mother shared her bed with Shiala, but there was no true love there but for friendship and the love of a disciple for her mistress. She may have had others, I don't know, but I do know she cut all contact with Sha'ira. When I was a youngling and I wanted to know where and who my sire was, Mother's face held such pain-such sadness and I felt shamed to have brought it to her. And she never spoke of it. I asked Shiala more than a few times if she knew and she always gave some excuse or another not to answer and soon I stopped asking. I even thought she might have sired me. I believed the pain of my mother's heart was out of rejection, I never imagined that she was the one to reject the love given to her.

"Adar I understand why she rejected Sha'ira but not you...I don't understand why she ended it with you. What happened?"

The rum was part way before it was refilled and sipped. "I think that started brewing when she was heavy with you. Differences of philosophy. I thought we should be separate from the other races. Too long have we wallowed in art and philosophy and allowed our daughters to be wild and go about untrained. And those few who join the military were too few—are still too few. I was adamant there was a darkness coming and we needed to be ready for it, build our own mass relays. I told them we have the knowledge; the way was there if we seized the catalyst that would propel the asari into a new age. But as I told you The Matriarchy scoffed and mocked and stuffed up their ears and so I left their circle.

"Nezzy was adamant the way forward was to make connections, to reach out to the other races, make alliances and build bridges. I was too hard, too quick to anger. I told her she was a fool. We argued and then she went off with Sha'ira on that accursed trip to the Citadel alone—without guard, mostly because she was vexed with me. I am just as much at fault for putting her on that ship as much as the Consort is for it. And the Progenitor took us all in the great waves that followed in event after event making us answer for our choices. Now we have only the remains of what was and try to rebuild from it. I'm not like Nezzy, don't have the talent for it, don't have the patience for it. Little Wing if what you're telling me is true about these Reapers, you're going to have to pull that part of your mother out and start making those bridges.

"That isn't my talent either," Liara uttered softly. "But it is Samantha's. She listens to my advice, heeds my words but it will not be my voice that will convince the whole of the galaxy to unite; it will be hers." She placed her hand on that of her sire's. "And you were right too. We have to get our huntresses ready; the darkness you felt all those years ago is on the horizon. There is only one problem."

"Guerrilla tactics, espionage, assassinations won't work here. This war can't be won conventionally."

"No," Liara shook her head, "It can't. That's why we need Shepard, need the way she thinks, and we need to find a weapon that will defeat the Reapers. One of the reasons I wanted to-needed to become an information broker is to find a way to push back the Reapers once and for all. But there is another part. Someone is hunting Samantha, they want her body to sell to the Collectors. We found that out on Alchera. They Collectors shot down the first Normandy because they were after her captain or what they assumed was her captain. The bodies of those that had fallen with the ship were taken but not their dog tags. The bounty hunters sent to retrieve the bodies seemed to think they could fool their Collectors employers if they had no obvious ID. It didn't work and the Collectors will want Shepard, presumably because their masters want her."

"Their masters being the Reapers?" the matriarch asked.

The Prothean expert's voice drew dark. "Yes." She looked up, blue eyes meeting blue eyes. "And they will use whatever agents they have at their disposal. We know of the Collectors, but there are many more we do not know about. And that is why I am doing what I am doing. It is why I am becoming an information broker. I will need your help to do it."

"You got it, kiddo. I can do more than my network but it's a start. I'll take me time to call in a lot of favors but when I do I can give you huntresses as well."

"You're giving me asari commandos?!"

"Well you're too old for a pony," Aethyta smirked causing her daughter to giggle. "But the huntresses will take some time. Most of the contacts I have are mercs. And the biggest mercenary guild on Illium are the Eclipse Sisters."

"Ah… and we just took out their captain," Liara murmured.

"Not all of them are sworn to Wasea but she did have a lot of them. She led them because she was powerful, had the most influence. When another leads the Sisters I will pull my contacts, it will be easier once they feel your influence. May take the arrival of the Reapers to push them but they will come when it's time. For now you have my network of informants, make good use of them, girl."

Aethyta studied her child for a long moment then just before the silence grew uncomfortable she said, "So truth time. You're really okay with your Samantha flying off without you? And with that hussy sniffing around her like some varren bitch in heat?"

"Ashley isn't going to be there and besides, that incident was caused only because Samantha was touched by early onset of CS. Once she had the procedure to heal her, her confused, muddled emotions returned to normal levels. Any attraction to Ashley was borne from cyan syndrome.

"And as for Chambers, she many try to bat her eyelashes, swoon and sway her hips but she'll soon learn she's wasting her time." Liara waved the matter away as if it were a trivial matter. "Samantha doesn't play such games."

"So there is a hussy. Or should I say two." Aethyta frowned. "They always come in twos."

"Wait a moment how did you know there was anyone 'sniffing' around Samantha? You're spying on me?"

"That would be the logical conclusion," the matriarch snorted "But no, just experience talking. Powerful people attract all sorts of admires. Some false, some true. Nezzy had a fair share of them. In order to get some attention, especially with dual sexed species, you have to appear available or no one listens to you."

"I told you before, that isn't true. Samantha listens to me, takes my advice. She commands many and they listen to her."

"She commands soldiers, Little Wing, it's different. They are expected to obey. I heard a few things about your bondmate. She has a silver tongue and lays on the charm if needs be. Good. But with that, there are going to be a few people following her not because what she has between her ears but what's between her legs. Tell me of this Ashley woman and Chambers."

Liara scowled for a moment then told her sire of the friendship that had grown between the two humans. She spoke of how Shepard felt about the young lieutenant as a friend-sister-Trusted and how that relationship was nearly ruined because of a nearly debilitating mental illness. The young asari further expanded on how the CS had affected her as well because of the soul-bond. Fortunately Samantha had been treated in time before any lasting damage occurred and fortunately a dire mistake was avoided because Williams had a clear head and denied the idea of a Trinity.

Kelly Chambers was as Samantha said; merely crushing on her. The attraction the redhead held existed only because the young woman was saved from a brutal beating by Cerberus troops. It was the damsel-in-distress reaction-hero worship and nothing more. And even if Chambers felt more, Samantha wasn't even tempted. To the Spectre, Chambers was a young lost woman who needed a bit of guidance.

When she ended her narrative Liara grinned. "So yes, I am fine with these 'hussies' sniffing around her because I trust Samantha. Let them look, wish, fantasize, I care not because she is mine and I am hers."

In the fabric of the Bond, Liara heard the sweet tones of her bondmate. 'You tell her, Angel Eyes. I'm every bit yours, lucky for me I get to say the same about you.' There was a smile Liara felt in those words. 'Oh and we got Thane. He isn't at all like we expected. Whoever heard of a priestly assassin?' Liara could almost feel her lover's befuddlement.

'You'll have to tell me all about it later. And by the way, we should "talk" about you trying to play Janiris's Messenger between my Adar and Samara. I felt you toying with that idea when you were talking to Samara the last night.'

'What? It was worth a shot. Picture it "The Justicar and the Bartender". And don't forget the Cupid playing Spectre that made it all happen. It makes for a good rom-com, don't you think? Not that I'm into chick-flicks, but I might watch that one.'

Liara giggled which caused her sire to give her very puzzled look causing the maiden to laugh even harder. So hard she had tears coming out of her eyes. If she wasn't pregnant, Liara thought now would be a very good time to take a long draft of the rum before she tried to explain with a straight face just what Sam had said to her.

Even as she started to clarify what she had shared with Samantha just now Liara burst into another fit of giggles, making it near on impossible to explain.

"I think I'm going to need another drink," Aethyta grumbled mildly amused and a tad annoyed at her daughter's antics. By the end of it Aethyta had a very mischievous if not a wicked gleam in her eye as she thought of her daughter-in-law.

MEMEMEMEMEMEME

Since she left Shepard's side for another mission, Williams couldn't help but think she was abandoning the Commander. But Anderson needed her specifically to head an important mission. Part of the reason she had been chosen was because of her connection to Shepard, but it was also because of her excellent service record.

You go where the mission sends you; it was the way of life for a soldier. For great leaders like Hackett, Anderson and Shepard people would walk the fires of hell because they asked it. And great leaders like that never ordered you to walk where they wouldn't, they'd lead the way and they'd be last off the field. It was commanding officers like that that you stuck your neck out for, went the longest mile for. Protected them when they needed it the most, sometimes even against themselves.

It took an hour before Williams was processed through customs. Since the attack a year ago security had been stepped up several notches. Her Alliance ID was checked, verified by a hand-print and a biometric scan. Before the battle of the Citadel only a cursory check was given to any baggage, now a complete through screening was mandatory. It was so much easier when you had a Spectre vouching for you though. Williams had to secure her footlocker containing her hardsuit and weaponry. The 85 litter rucksack was passed through after it was completely scanned and examined.

At lest they were human personnel. But then again given the fact C-Sec was hit hard during Sovereign's attack the majority of the security force was no longer turian but human. It wasn't something that went down well with many of the other species. Williams snorted in contempt at the thought of the aliens whining about the new protocols because despite the fact it took longer to check luggage it made her feel marginally safer. If they had pulled their heads out of their asses a year ago, things would be different. The aliens had no cause to whimper now.

In the next line over Ash heard a couple of asari complaining that they had to relinquish their biotic amps if they wanted to pass through the gates. They must have adapted an older dialect because the translator didn't work, but whatever it was had to be pretty scathing. Again Williams was reminded how quickly Shepard was passed through and had allowed to keep her amps, as was Liara. Traveling with a Spectre certainly had its perks. One of those luxuries taken for granted was that Citadel Control had always arranged a taxi service to any area of the Citadel Shepard wanted to go. Now Williams was forced to fend for herself.

Leaving the ports behind, Williams stepped in queue to take an elevator to the main level when she was paged by an overly exuberant Alliance Corporal running towards her waving his hands about frantically. "Lieutenant Williams! Lieutenant Williams! Over here!"

Sucking in a bit of air, Williams shoved her way out of the line of travelers gaining a few scornful remarks in the process.

The young towheaded man snapped to attention firing off a very crisp salute holding it until Williams returned it. "At ease, Corporal. What's this about?"

"I'm Corporal Ralph Faraday, aid to Rear Admiral Mikhailovich, ma'am. I was sent to collect you and escort you to the Byzantium Hotel on the Presidium and wait further instructions." He handed her a data pad which she scanned it then frowned.

"What's this about?" she repeated the earlier question. "I was to report directly to Councilor Anderson after I landed."

"Yes, ma'am. But I was given these orders. I believe it has something to do with your upcoming mission."

"Explain."

"I'm not privy to that information, ma'am. I was ordered to collect you and-"

"Yeah, yeah, escort me to some damned ritzy hotel. You know how irregular this is?"

"Yes. ma'am. But begging your pardon. ma'am, hasn't a lot of your missions fallen into that category?" Williams studied the young man for a moment then glanced back down to the orders he had delivered. "Ma'am, I'm only the messenger." Faraday looked as if he was going to soak his BDU's if Williams pressed further.

"Yeah, alright fine. I assume you have a car waiting?"

"Yes, ma'am." He held his hand out. "I can take that if you want?" he meant her heavy canvassed rucksack.

"No one handles my gear but me, soldier. Earn your merit badge some other way," Williams scowled.

"Yes, ma'am. Sorry, ma'am."

"Don't be sorry; let's just get me to the hotel." She tossed her bag in to the car's trunk and crawled into the front seat

He nodded vigorously, reminding Ash of a retriever puppy all bouncing and tail wagging. "May I say it's an honor and a privilege to meet you." He took the driver's seat and started the ignition.

"You mean someone who was part of Shepard's crew?"

A vigorous head shake. "No, ma'am, I meant you. You came up through the ranks all on your own. I mean those N7s are tough, sure, but then they get to be like rock-stars. Too big for the regular grunt to get close to. I mean, ain't no one tougher and they earn what they get but then they just get too big. Too much. They even have their own fashion line, yah know. N7 this, N7 that, shoes, jackets, track suits, hoodies, hell I even seen one of them in a leather dress compete with the N7 insignia, they have motorcycles, sky cars, practically everything. And they all have that red stripe and N7. It's like the Cult of the N7s. Shepard's the biggest of them all.

"But you! You're regular infantry-a B4 right. And you went all the way up from Private to Second Lieutenant. Now that's something. And you're decorated." He slipped in and out of the traffic making way for the wards.

Williams tried to ignore the kid's ramblings as she watched the sensory zip past. She couldn't help but think how things had changed. There were far more humans now on the Citadel than there had ever been. Twenty years ago the humans were still the marginal species, so marginal that even the advertising companies spent their money on species with larger profit margin. Now the holographic billboards promoted products from a hundred different worlds: food, beverages, vehicles, clothes, entertainment. Strange how twenty years can change things, now even the Alliance had billboard flashing a new compost picture of an female N7 marine with red hair, green eyes and a splash of freckles across her nose and cheeks.

"See they even have their own advertisements...huh...they changed it. Used to be Shepard up there, wonder when they changed it. Guess she stopped focus testing right. Still, you see more N7s adverting for the Alliance than us regular grunts. It's like they want to show off the glory hounds rather than what it's really like with us ground pounders."

"Enough, Corporal," Williams shot her hand up signalling him to be silent.

Even as she grew irritated by the man's prattling Williams couldn't help but be divided: half of her liked the praise—the accolades. Hell, she earned it damn it. It was about time she had her own little fan club. Another part of her suddenly understood why the Skipper ducked out as quickly as she could when she saw her fans coming her way. Of course whenever she was cornered she was polite and as-down-to-earth as she could be, especially if they were civvies or children. But if they wore the uniform she only smiled graciously, gave a curt nod and then departed as swiftly as rank permitted. The young lieutenant's thoughts jumped to the new composite picture she had seen of the N7. The Skipper said she was more than happy the recruitment corps had changed it a few months ago.

Traffic dodging only took twenty minutes before the car was parked and the two filed out. Williams snagged her bag from the trunk and followed the NCO into the hotel. The Corporal didn't bother with the front desk and instead he led Williams to a lift and hit the ninth floor for the penthouse floors. It had only a quarter of the rooms of the other floors in the Byzantium.

Faraday slipped the key-card into the reader causing the door to slide open nut he didn't enter. He only indicated that Williams should step into the room.

Williams nearly balked until she recognized a familiar face, though it wasn't the one she was expecting.

Captain Channing, a ginger, curly haired, blue-eyed woman of thirty years or so was assigned to the Alliance Psychology Department. According to Earth Systems Alliance database her assigned task was to interview soldiers who had lost members of their unit or squad and assess if they were fit for duty. It was a necessary evil of the military to issue psych-evales to ward off any potential PTSD in their ranks and prescribe proper treatment to get them back to functioning levels if possible. Most of the time it was effective and served its purpose, though if you asked most soldiers they would say it was a pain in the ass just as the yearly physicals. Unfortunately it was stranded procedure.

To Second Lieutenant Ashley Williams it had been a complete pain in the ass. This was the second time she had met with Channing. The first had been after the Normandy SR1 had docked at the Citadel just after the incident of Eden Prime. Williams had given the woman twenty minutes and not a minute more to conduct her damned interview at the Apollo Café on the Presidium.

Channing sat and listened as she recounted what happened to Unit 210-Dog Squad three days before the attack. Ash was supposed to have led the Dog Squad but it was given to Sergeant Donkey because the LT didn't trust Williams on account of her grandfather giving up Shanxi to the turians. He wasn't any different than any other officer before Shepard gave her the chance to prove herself beyond her family's legacy.

Eden Prime had been a soft post, until Saren, until the geth, until Sovereign blew it all to hell. Thirty-one were sent to walk the picket from the colony to the dig site. On the second night when they were supposed to meet up with Bravo team there hadn't been any indication that anything had been wrong.

Then there came the geth, Sovereign, Saren and then Shepard.

Channing apparently had been satisfied with the interview and passed Williams as stable and fit for duty. There had been no further inquires or psych-evales until now and it was with the same damn shrink. Her hair was even pulled back into the same ponytail she wore the first time they met.

"You?" Williams all but snapped. "What's going on, where's the Rear Admiral?"

"He will be attending shortly, Lieutenant; he has given us a moment to talk," Channing said diplomatically, attempting to disarm the woman before her.

"Yeah why? I haven't been in any major conflicts. If I needed a psych-evale Shepard or Chakwas would have ordered it."

"This isn't concerning you precisely, Lieutenant. But it does Shepard."

Williams wrinkled up her nose, her lips curled into a sneer. "I'm out of here." Williams spun upon her heels, shoved past the Corporal and headed for the door of the hotel room. "Mikhailovich has had a score to settle with her ever since she forbad him from stepping onto the first Normandy. He set this up."

Channing held up her hands in a universal gesture of surrender, "This is an informal talk only, Lt. We're all on the same side here. We wish to protect Shepard as much as you do. It was why this venue was selected for its discretion." The redhead looked to Faraday. "Speaking of which, Corporal dismissed."

"Yes, ma'am," he saluted just as smartly when he had first introduced himself to Williams.

"Who is this 'we'?" Williams demanded, not even waiting for the man to leave. Her dark eyes bore smoldering holes into Channing's face that would have had any junior officer come to heel. "Mikhailovich has a hand in this, I'd bet my next pay check on it. Who else?"

It was an expression the psychologist had received several such times with glares from protesting, uncooperative patients thus she was completely unfazed by Williams' countenance. Instead she simply began a line of dialog that was sure to gain the attention of the young Lieutenant.

"Commander Shepard has many supporters within the ranks of the Alliance, including Rear Admiral Mikhailovich. He isn't her enemy. Unfortunately she has just as many who would see her fall from grace. The incident which caused the death of her wife's child-"

"Her daughter," Ash snapped. "That baby was just as much Shepard's as it was Liara's."

"Yes of course, my apologies. Asari pregnancies are quite alien to me. Nevertheless you understand my meaning of the events that followed the Commander's personal vendetta on the various mercenary guilds. Naming Ambassador Udina the perpetrator and her and declaring war on Cerberus has several of the Brass believing she is suffering from post-traumatic stress. If they believe it too deeply they may demand the Council revoke her status as Spectre."

Williams dropped the rucksack with a loud thoomp. "They wouldn't dare!"

"They need only make the attempt and it will be enough to plant the seeds of doubt in the minds of many. Lieutenant have a seat." Channing gestured to one of two green paisley over stuffed chairs which were situated before a coffee table. The table itself had several data pads stacked upon its glass surface. "This is an informal talk only."

"I don't like the way this is sounding, Doc. Sounds to me like you want me to go behind her back. I won't do that. If the Brass wants her assessed they'd send someone to do it."

"True." the redhead nodded. "However officially Shepard isn't apart of the Alliance Military anymore and the Council has its own means to assess their agents. But this isn't a Council affair; it lies with the Alliance Commission. Shepard has been making great strides to create alliances and to build a defence against this coming darkness. In fact she's made a career of making the impossible possible."

"You mean the Reapers," Ash said taking a hard seat.

Channing nodded.

"You believe her about the Reapers, I mean." Ash actually sounded hopeful.

"If I believe her and she's wrong, no harm no foul. But if I don't believe her and she's right, we're all up you know what creak with no paddle. But what's important is if our superiors believe her or if they think she has been compromised."

"Compromised?" Ash snorted. "Shepard is loyal to the Alliance! She hasn't been indoctrinated by Sovereign." She was becoming more defensive. She felt as if the shrink had deliberately pushed her into reacting.

"Understand this. The good Spectre may wish to be loyal and it is not Reaper indoctrination I speak about. There has been some severe irregularities, some instances that have raised several questions." Channing leaned over, picked up one of the data pads and handed it to the other woman. "Apparently someone didn't tell their little sister about email protocol."

Ash balefully snatched pad from Channing's hand and started to read its contents.

From: Abigail Williams (abster-williams .sa)
Sent: June 17, 2184 1315 UT
To: Sarah Williams (randori-girl . )
Subject: Hey sis

: Hey Sarah, think we need to have a sit down with our big bad. Ash has it bad for Shepard, I mean mooning over her bad. Never thought she'd become a pitch-hitter for Lynn's team. But it gets weirder than that. Apparently there is this ancient rite with the asari, like an old fashioned harem thing. Shepard and Liara asked our big sister to be apart of it. I don't know what's going on, but it's got Ash all screwy. I don't know what's going on, or why all of a sudden, the Commander's head turned and why Liara is looking too.

Maybe it's an asari pregnancy thing, or maybe it has something to do with it, or maybe it has something to do with that Prothean security device they all found on Quana which killed one of the turians. I know the Commander and Doc have a special connection, but everybody knows that. It's actually a thing of beauty to see up close though. But this trinity thing... I don't even pretend to understand it.

: I don't know. I just wish it'd get sorted. Ash is so wound up by it. Can't say I blame her. I get why she doesn't want to go into it, but hey, if the asari and Shepard float that way and Ash wants her I don't see why not. But something is buzzing

From: Abigail Williams (abster-williams .sa)
Sent: July 4, 2184 22:03 UT
To: Sarah Williams (randori-girl . )
Subject: No Go

: Well it's a bust. Ash said no to this weird trinity thing, she's been down since then but she seems more relaxed too. Shep and Liara don't seem all broken up by Ash's answer. Liara seemed extremely relieved like she didn't want it in the first place. And our Commander seems to be more and more distracted. I know it has more than finding tech to stop the Reapers. I'm just glad it's over. At least for Ash it is.

Williams practically shattered the pad when she slammed it down back onto the table. "How in the hell did you get a hold of this?"

"LT, the email was sent via a military ship which you know as well as I do that all email, regardless if it is personal or official, goes though censorship. This was flagged the moment it was sent from the Victory's bandwidth. It rose quite a few eyebrows and was sent up the chain until it reached my office."

"The Victory is...was under Citadel control. A Spectre ship. Like I said how did you get a hold of it?"

"And you believe this makes it exempt from censorship? The Earth Systems Alliance maintains jurisdiction over its personnel even aboard a Council ship. Civilian or Military. As a career military woman you must appreciate the need to maintain high security concerning sensitive topics. Any documentation dealing with high ranking personnel is immediate flagged by the Alliance intelligence staff analysts. Even if they are not technically apart of the Alliance Military.

"Shepard's security clearance was never fully revoked. As humanity's only Spectre she has even more clearance and thus very highly guarded. Can you explain what your sister meant by this asari trinity and why did she believe that a Prothean discovery on Quana had an effect on Commander Shepard?"

Williams glared at the scattered pads on the coffee table then back to the shrink. "You're asking me to go behind her back," she spat.

"No. I'm asking you to help her, Lieutenant. To protect her. It was why I was chosen; because you were already familiar with me. I know you're finding this hard, Lieutenant, but it's for her better interest. She is a protected interest; don't you wish to keep it that way? If the Prothean devices are having an effect on her don't you want to insure she gets all aid she possibly can? This connection between the Commander and Dr. T'Soni could potentially become problematic to their health."

"It already has been. That's been seen to. The CS was cured."

Channing kept her face schooled but it was clear this bit of news surprised her. "Perhaps you should explain that a bit more." She leaned forward in her chair her elbows resting comfortably on her knees. Her fingers interlaces against each other.

It was out now. There were many things you could not take back; bullets and words were some of them. Perhaps the worst of them were the impact of words. "What's your clearance again?" Ash asked feeling queasy in her gut.

Channing titled her head diplomatically, reached for her thigh pocket of her BDUs and handed the dark haired marine her credentials. Williams gave them a hard stare; the scowl hadn't changed when she handed them back to the shrink. The damned woman had near top clearance

"As you can see I have the necessary clearance," Channing purred smoothly. "You are very protective of Commander Shepard, this is to be commended. This is why I was sent to you. We wish to help her without exposing any would be frailties or weakness that could be preyed upon. The troops need their great heroes. Earth needs her heroes. It's up to the smaller people like us to insure those heroes remain strong. That's all I'm asking you to do. I need to convince them she is in full possession of her mental faculties. It is easier to ask you then force her to come forward in a formal hearing."

Channing leaned back in her chair her gaze steadied on the other woman. "You were going to tell me about the cyan syndrome that touched the Commander. I was lead to believe Shepard was an L3. They are not as prone to CS as the L2s were."

Williams shrugged. "I guess. I don't know a lot about how biotics are registered. I know Kaiden said Shepard spiked higher than any human L3 he ever heard of. But the Skipper was fitted with a prototype L4 amp when I first met her. Now she has a fancy customized L5 amp created by the Armali Council back on Thessia on account what a happened with the Prothean deceives and the gestalt."

"The gestalt," Channing said carefully keeping her voice as neutral as possible. "There are concerns about that with the Brass since the incident with Stevenson leaked out. If Shepard is to gain the support she needs for this war to come we need to put a stopper on the rumormongers and waylay their fears. If we can help them understand the cumulative affects of the Prothean devices it will go a long way to insure they see Commander Shepard as fit for duty. It will help me explain why our illustrious Spectre has made alliance with a questionable organization like Cerberus."

Williams face contorted into a snarl. "How do you know about that? That isn't out there! Only Anderson and Hackett know about it," Williams hadn't forgotten to name the Council; she simply didn't feel the need to list them.

Channing smiled more to herself then openly for the other woman. "You saw my clearance; it allows me certain privileged information, even information that was privileged for the Council and a few Admirals." Channing deliberately mentioned them because Williams had not. It was a token, a show of her power and ability to get classified information. Or it could have been a show of the solidarity of her credentials. "Try to remember, LT. Williams, I'm on your side. Perhaps we can continue the talk over something to eat or coffee. I'm sure after your trip you must be a bit hungry. I'll call room service. In the meantime, help me understand from your perspective what has happened to the Commander."

Ash's face remained hard. "Fine." A hand ran through dark hair. "It started with that damned beacon back on Eden Prime when it exploded. It changed her, screwed with her beta waves. Changed them. Made them more Prothean like. It burned images, nightmare stuff into her brain. Now she can't get them out. It was all about the Reapers. A warming only it was all jumbled. Then she got the Cipher…it gave her the memories of the Protheans how they thought, spoke, stuff like that. T'Soni had to help her sort through the images and fixed the jumbled mess. Didn't help her deal with the nightmares though." Ash closed her eyes.

She recalled back on Klencory when the Skipper was locked in a horrific nightmare. Ash couldn't wake her friend up, couldn't shake her. A hand pressed to a chest, the warmth of skin to skin contact-the steady thumb of a beating heart. The soft reassurance of a friendly trusted voice reaching in the depths of the dance macabre of horrific visions that pulled the sleeper back to safety of the waking world.

Liara hadn't been around then, she usually broke though the Skipper's dank nightmares. Ash had managed but it had hurt the younger woman to see her friend so tormented. Williams had concealed that pain but she had to know, had to see those nightmares. She begged Liara to show her, share with her those visions. She had to know! Had to see what tormented her friend so. God what she saw! Williams would never forget it.

It was all jumbled, bodies ripped open, torn apart by dragons teeth, screams-the ever lasting screams. Faces of the Protheans twisted into something else; in the nightmares the Protheans had become familiar faces. To Shepard it was Liara turned into the same thing, some abomination that once was an asari by the wails of a creature from the dark moors of some forgotten time past-a banshee. Garrus a marauding minion. Wrex some brute of a thing, Ash a husk, Tali was dead-shredded by the geth, her body toppling over a cliff … bloody voices, accusatory voices as to why Shepard hadn't done anything, hadn't done enough screaming out each of her failures. Why hadn't she saved them from the Reapers, why didn't she stop the harvest.

She had the answers, god damn it, why didn't she do anything about it. The guilt had become a forest; a never-ending forest filed with shades of the dead and dying. The nightmares were constant, persisting. Every night was the same thing, the same nightmare. Only Liara was a respite, she was the element of reality that was a balm. Her sweet voice was the echo that all was safe. Liara was the key. The link to the comfortable world and the terrifying world she had entered.

Liara had pulled the Skipper out of the fracking vinculum that Vigil had led her too. His programming was to preserve the memories of the Protheans for the next cycle so the AI had used Shepard as a vessel, a container for those memories. They were eroding away the Spectre's own memories like termites eat away wood, until Liara had destroyed Vigil and pulled her wife from that damned machine. The Cipher, the vinculum, the beckons, the gestalt had triggered the catalyst, catapulting Sam into a horrifying, debilitating mental condition.

Cyan Syndrome. A condition that had caused so many L2s to go mad. They had seen this with the band of desperate hooligans that had kidnapped Chairman Burns who had been convinced to let their hostage go, and then there was the lot under Major Kyle and of course the fanatics on Chohe that had kidnapped scientists from the Sirta Foundation and were using them as living shields. Fortunately Shepard had downed them all without a single scientists lost. But in all these case the L2s had been crippled with advanced stages of Cyan Syndrome. All emotions were heightened to maddening levels. Love became obsessive, infatuation became lust, hate became loathing, fear became terror and so on.

It was why Sam had started to confuse her more sisterly affection for something very different. And because of the soul-bond Liara had been affected as well and thus the idea of the Trinity was approached. Fortunately, however, Shepard had been diagnosed early on and the condition effectively treated. No neural damage had accumulated to make Sam unfit of body or unsound of mind to serve. An asari physicist and Dr. Chakwas had given both Shepard and Liara clean bill of health.

For a long moment Channing remained silent, she had sat in the chair silent as she heard the accounting of Shepard's plight. Talking copious notes despite recoding the session. Very carefully she asked one further question.

"And the gestalt this… a link you called it. A soul bond? A deep connection between asari and human, that is remarkable. How did that happen?"

Williams nodded. Then frowned. "Isn't that in the medical files?"

"It was." Channing said swiftly. "But this is for the admirals in the view of a regular military not the fancy medical talk of doctors. Remember this is to help the skeptics believe in her not to discredit the good commander."

The frown slipped. "It happened when Shepard died."

"Died?"

"Yeah, you know after Sovereign's hull slammed down on her, she managed to walk away but barely. She died on the Mako floor. Doc Chakwas had to use a defribulator twice to bring her back. We would have lost her permanently but Liara linked her nervous system to Shepard. Liara was living for both of them. For four days Liara was Shepard's life support system, her heart beat for Shepard's, her lungs drew in oxygen, the works, while the docs put Shepard back together again. She's nearly thirty-five percent cybernetic now. And the only reason she even survived her surgery was because of Liara. Their souls linked—bonded.

"They changed. Shepard's biotics are now more asari then human. Like she was naturally born to it like the asari. Hell, no none even knows how long Shepard will live now. But the asari docs seem to think Liara, I don't know, transferred some of her life essence into Shepard. Seems a bit of mumbo-jumbo to me, but that's what they said. With the new synthetics Shepard will probably just live half again as long as a healthy human probably reach two hounded rather than the lucky one-fifty. Look, whatever those admirals think, Shepard isn't compromised, she's fit."

"Is she?" Channing pushed her glasses up on her nose. "Looking over my notes of our narrative, I fear she is in danger."

Williams leapt up to her feet. "That's a fucking lie!"

"Consider the vinculum, the cipher. You said it yourself when she awakens from nightmares she speaks in the in the words of a Prothean. Is it not conceivable then that she has been inducted if not indoctrinated into the memories of the Protheans? Her crusade against the Reapers is single-minded.

"Now I don't doubt the Reaper threat is real. Let's get that straight. But the Protheans were completely wiped out by the Reapers. Their only surviving history was an AI bent on preserving the memories of its masters. The vinculum had forced memories into the Commander, making them hers. The memories are now bonded to Shepard just as much as T'Soni is. These memories from the beacons and the vinculum and the cipher are her driving force, her motivation. In other words, they control her. When she doesn't comply with their directives the memories torment her with dark nightmares, so dark and so deep it takes fairly drastic measures to pull her out of them.

"Her mind was touched by one who was not only indoctrinated by Sovereign but by the Thorian as well. Is it not conceivable then that Shepard's mind was also touched by this taint? Shepard's mind is tormented by two distinct forces, the lingering taint of Reaper-Thorian indoctrination and the haunting memories of the Protheans."

Williams fell back; practically stumbling over her own feet as she toppled in the chair she had vaulted from. Her face contorted as she assembled everything Channing was telling her.

Shepard indoctrinated? No! No that was impossible! It wasn't!

"Study the possibility, LT. Think hard on it. Think on all you know, felt and saw. We need to help her. But how? The treatment for the CS might have stymied the affects of indoctrination for now, but how long will it last? Perhaps the CS has less to do with all the Prothean artifacts she interfaced with but what if it was a glimpse of the suffering she had plagued with via second hand indoctrination? And if Shepard is indoctrinated what of her wife? If they are connected, as you say they are, if they are soul-bonded is it not possible that Dr. T'Soni is indoctrinated as well? At least vicariously?

"You said it yourself, Shepard has changed from the woman you knew—the Commander that saved you on Eden Prime, the one you would fallow into hell for. Tell me after the death of her child did you recognize the woman you knew anymore? Why did she join forces with the enemy? The ones supposedly responsible for the death of her daughter? Why did she join in a truce with Cerberus?"

Ash remained mute.

"Your silence is your answer, Lieutenant." Channing stood up, pushed her glasses back up upon her nose. "I want you to consider something very carefully. If Shepard has been indoctrinated, her mind compromised by Prothean, Reaper and Thorian what hope is there for the rest of us? How can we trust a mind so completely and utterly tormented? Is it fully hers anymore?" Channing stepped closer to the marine. "How sane would you be if you had suffered as she has? You would never be the same, no one would be. I wouldn't be. How can she be? How much of her is human and how much is something else?"

"I-I don't know."

"She's been tortured. Hurt beyond belief and yet she endured. But she isn't whole. Think of her actions of late. Would the woman you swore allegiance to have kidnapped a young woman and used her as bait to lure in an enemy agent? Would she have resorted to, let us say, more renegade actions you have witnessed of late?"

Williams winced. No. her Skipper wouldn't have… Sam had changed. Converted into something she barely recognized. Hell if this was fiction Williams would have sworn the Skipper had gone to the Dark Side.

"She's still a hero." Williams protested

"Of course, of course she is," Channing agreed. "But she is not the woman we knew, is she?"

Williams shook her head. That was something she could not deny, even if she wanted to. And she so desperately wanted to.

The door of the hotel room opened admitting not the tawny haired Faraday but a wiry gray hared man nearing his sixtieth year.

"Captain Channing you are dismissed," The timber voice of Rear Admiral Mikhailovich called out as he walked the short length of the hallway into the living room. "Second Lieutenant and I have much to discus about Horizon."

Channing and Williams leapt to their feet and saluted. Only Channing dropped the gesture a breath later not waiting for the Admiral to return it. She gathered all the disks, bowed her head just a fraction of an inch and departed the room but not before tossing over her shoulder "Just think on what we spoke about, LT. Much depends upon it."

Williams watched the redhead, saying nothing until the Admiral drew her attention back to him.

"Horizon. What do you know of the colony, Williams?"

"Only that it's in the Terminus Systems, sir." Ash fixated her gaze to the wall just beyond the Admiral. "One of the largest human colonies out there."

"It is indeed," Mikhailovich said placing his hands causally behind his back. "And it's your next station."

"Sir permission to speak."

"Granted."

"Sir why are you giving the orders and not Councilor Anderson or Admiral Hackett? "

"Because despite what you may think, Commander Shepard is not my enemy, but she is in over-her-head. We feel her new allies are manipulating her, they have given her virtual unlimited resources, a new ship and the one thing she seeks the most. Belief in the Reapers.

"There is reason enough to believe Cerberus is manipulating events surrounding the abductions. The Alliance hasn't turned a blind eye to the colonies that have forsaken Earth for their independence despite rumors to the contrary. We are very concerned, but we cannot force our aid where it is wholly rejected.

"You will be leading a token team to Horizon to oversee the installation of a new AA Tower, much like the towers being installed on Ferris Fields which is being overseen by another Lieutenant and his team. If we're lucky we'll catch Cerberus and their cohorts in the act. Either you or Vega will discover the truth. Shepard has been compromised one way or another. Channing's findings proved that. It's up to you now, Williams. Are you up for it?"

Williams continued to look straight ahead. "Yes sir. But, sir, I can't believe Shepard has fallen. She's loyal."

"Maybe. Or maybe she just wanted to be, or maybe she's indoctrinated like Captain Channing believes. Too many unknowns. What we do know, Williams, is that you are loyal to the Alliance and you are the perfect one to see that Horizon remains protected."

MEMEMEMEMEMEME

*We had a bargain,* a deep-set reverberated voice rippled through the speakers of the Shadow Broker's ship's comm-system. *Shepard was to be delivered to us and you let her slip though your grasp time and again. This is unacceptable.*

The yahg slammed his fist down upon the surface of his circular desk. The impact was strong enough to cause a slight impact tremor that rippled down along the brace of the desk to the floor.

This deal with the Collectors was becoming worse at every turn. Shepard, once a great asset, was proving to be a major inconvenience. He actually understood Udina's frustration with the Spectre. She was more trouble than she was worth. Then there was T'Soni, an even greater nuisance than Shepard. Where as the Spectre was a hero which could be made and broken, the asari was a disease that had to be purged.

"I have agents in place on several fronts, you will have Shepard as agreed. However, now that she has a new ship provided by a mutual acquaintance of ours her capture will proceed on a different route. Your package will be delivered to you for your master's use. Your actions in the Terminus Systems have been complicating matters but it is the perfect lure if you do not interfere until called upon."

He knew about the Reapers, it was why he had helped the human prove Saren's guilt to the Council. He didn't want Saren to succeed. He doesn't want the Repapers to succeed. In truth he knew exactly what the Collectors were and who they now belonged to. It was why he had made the damned deal with the Collectors in the first place. It was guarantee of his survival, his network would continue.

Despite the fact the Protheans had given Shepard the warning and the Conduit at Ilos, the Shadow Broker knew there was more out there. Something the Protheans had devised. The Thorian had even hinted at it yet Shepard was too caught up in the Cipher to hear it. Her obsession with stopping the Reapers had stopped her from thinking more of what it was the Thorian had told her. The Shadow Brokers agents could gain nothing from his ExoGeni contacts that was remotely useable in the conventional sense.

It was a matter of buying time and getting the right people at the right place. Shepard would buy the time necessary to find whatever it was that could stop the Reapers. Only thing he knew for certain was it had something to do with dark energy. She would have to be forced to recall what the Thorian had told her prior to gaining the Cipher. Once the information was extracted her remains would be nothing but currency to pay off the Collectors in exchange for time.

MEMEMEMEMEMEME

AN1: Canon issues (it's not like there are a lot of them in game despite fannon, yes that was sarcasm): When you eavesdrop on Liara with Aethyta at Apollo Café you here her tell Li "Don't tell me how it works I've had KIDS with hanar." Kids = plural. Liara says "I have a sister who is ½ hanar?" So I went with what Aethyta said and used the plural. Then I decided to use it as twins as a bit of foreshadowing.

AN2: A recap note on Tolkien's elfish which by now, gentle readers, you know I use for asarian

I use the Sindarin-

Gwathel which means sworn-sister; it is used in reference for a fellow asari or huntress.

Muinthel is Quenyan for sister

Melethril is lover (just to be clear on the two words)

Gwanur is kinswoman but I use it for aunty

AN3: If anyone recognized pale jade tea you get a cookie. It's from the Forgotten Realms, so no copywrite infringement meant.

AN4: Captain Channing is an established Cerberus agent in the graphic novel Foundations. She is one of the aliases of Maya Brooks. In game Miranda knew her as Hope Lilium the one who put together the dossiers for Shep's new team. In the comics she calls herself Rasa, a personality Kia Leng knew and it was one she introduced herself to TIMmy as.